Avoidance (Week 2 - Saturday)
Ryan had no desire to go to San Sebastian today. She lacked the motivation to do anything. As the weight of rejection settled upon her shoulders, her heart sank into a sea of melancholy. She continued to replay the events of Wednesday night’s ride back to Mary’s house and how she and Sophie argued the entire time.
In the quiet corners of her mind, she tirelessly searched for answers to unravel the enigma of rejection. Like a puzzle missing crucial pieces, she analyzed every interaction, replaying conversations and gestures, desperately seeking comprehension. Ryan knew Sophie had feelings for her. She admitted it in the car. But choosing the alternative because she lost her sister was something Ryan was struggling to understand. Wouldn't her sister want Sophie to be happy? Have a second chance at life?
Her emotions ebbed and flowed from anger to longing, confusion to acceptance. She realized that love, at times, remains a mysterious dance where timing and circumstance play vital roles.
Whatever Sophie's reason for not embracing a second chance at life. Ryan embraced it. She loved it here. The ability to visit new towns, meet new people, and the freedom. Oh my God, the freedom. This was her second chance.
Now she needed to focus on the remaining two towns left to visit. Unfortunately, she would be visiting them alone.
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Sophie wasn’t faring much better. Since that night, Ryan had been constantly on her mind. Laying in her bed, Sophie stared at the ceiling. Regardless of her reason for pushing Ryan away, she couldn’t help but feel the weight of her mistake and the emptiness she felt.
She tried to convenience herself that there could be no future between them. However, deep down, she was trapped in the bittersweet confines of longing. It was a feeling that clung to her heart, refusing to loosen its grip.
Shaking her head, trying to get herself out of the funk she was in, Sophie thought she might visit an old flame living in Oslo today. After all, she was there to have fun with no strings attached, and Deja was always down for that.
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At 3:00 pm, Ryan arrived at San Sebastian. The town commemorated its 30th anniversary, and the downtown area was packed with people watching the "Beyond Time" parade. She watched the parade till the end before heading to the town’s welcome center.
A man in his early thirties greeted her as she walked inside.
“Hello, my name is Christen, and welcome to San Sebastian.”
“Hi, Christen; I’m Ryan. I’m interested in learning more about San Sebastian.”
“Well, you came to the right place.”
Christen gave Ryan a brief history of the town. He informed her of the weekly community events and social clubs. Ryan was interested in various clubs, including the Vegan Club, the Singles Lesbian group, and the martial arts club.
After going over all the important information about the town Christen gave Ryan a schedule and then took her on a city tour, stopping at prominent sights. Once the tour was over, he returned her to the welcome center.
Ryan inquired if there were any available slots. Each town has a maximum capacity unless they extend the boundary. Since San Sebastian was the first town created, there were limited openings.
Christen informed her that only one slot was available, and it was on a first-come, first-served, based on her set date. Ryan knew the slot would be filled when she was ready to become a resident. Disappointed, she thanked Christen and made plans to visit her last town on Monday.
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Sophie arrived in Oslo around 8:00 pm. She had visited the town before with Mary. The town reminded her of Norway, the last place she and Jordan visited before Jordan left for Africa.
Memories of Jordan flooded her mind as she walked down the street to head to Deja’s apartment. The bookstore she passed eerily reminded her of Barks and Bones bookstore in Norway. She never forgot the time she and Jordan spent hours browsing the shelves looking for unique books together. The familiarity of the town invoked a rush of emotions where Sophie found solace and a sense of connection with her late sister.
She was only a few blocks away from Deja’s apartment when she started to have second thoughts about visiting her old flame.
Sophie and Deja had history. A lot of history. After one of many breakups with Kate, Sophie started her own business in security; Deja contracted Sophie to work on a building she owned. The building had several businesses it rented to, and she needed added security due to several break-ins. One thing led to another, and they ended up sleeping together. They eventually started dating, but the relationship didn’t last long. They realized that while the sex was fantastic, they had nothing else in common.
As time passed, they would continue to cross paths and have a night full of pleasure. For Sophie, it was familiarity with no strings attached. Deja never pushed for more, and Sophie was content to enjoy the moment with her. On the other hand, Deja longed for her and Sophie to get back together. But it never happened. Years later, Deja crossed over.
Thinking about their history and her current condition with Ryan still on her mind, she decided it was best to forgo her visit. Instead, she headed to the local club to get a drink before calling it a night.
Faces, the lesbian nightclub in Oslo, was nothing like the Hold Up. Tucked away in the corner of the town, the small club emanated an inviting warmth that drew the town's residents like a magnet. Inside, the dimly lit space boasted worn wooden furnishing; each table telling stories of countless conversations and shared laughter. For the locals, this beloved club served as an extension of their homes, a sanctuary where they could unwind, connect, and feel a true sense of belonging.
Sophie walked into Faces and made a beeline directly to the bar.
“Hi, could I have a whisky sour?”
“Sure.” The bartender smiles at her and turns to make Sophie’s drink. “Here you go, hon. Is there anything else you need?”
“No. Thanks.”
She took her drink and looked for an empty table which she immediately spotted at the edge of the bar. Sophie walked over to the table and took a seat, not interested in talking to anyone; she just wanted to enjoy her drink, and then she would leave.
As she kept her eyes fixated on her drink, she didn’t notice a tall dark-haired women enter the club. The woman stood at 5’7’, slender build with a light skin complexion. She walked in and greeted some of the locals that were near the dance floor. After her brief conversation, she headed towards the bar and stopped when she spotted a familiar person alone nursing their drink.
“Sophie?” The woman called out.
No response. Sophie was so deep in thought she tuned out the background noise, including the lady calling her name.
The woman realized that Sophie didn’t hear her. She walked over to Sophie and gently placed her hand on Sophie’s shoulder.
“Sophie!”
Sophie jumped. Startled by the touch brought her out of her thoughts. She looked over to the woman standing next to her.
“Oh my god.. hi, Deja.” She stood up and hugged Deja.
“Hi back… It’s been a minute since I’ve seen you.” Looking Sophie up and down.
“It has indeed.” As Sophie watched her take a seat.
“So why are you here in Oslo? Are you looking to become a resident?” Deja questioned.
Sophie hesitated for a moment. “Oh no. I'm just touring towns. I've been here before. It reminds me of the last place I hung out with my sister.” She lied, not wanting to admit her main reason for visiting.
Deja nodded and reached over the table, and took Sophie’s hand. She knew about Jordan's death and how Sophie struggled throughout the years dealing with the loss. “You know I’m here for you if you want to talk about it.”
“No, I’m good. But thanks for the offer.” She moved her hands from under Deja’s and placed them on her lap.
Deja sensed something was off with Sophie. She has known this woman for over ten years. “What’s wrong? You seem distant.”
“I have a lot on my mind.”
“Well, I know what can help with that.. “ She smirked
“Deja, I don’t think –“
“Not sex.” She rolled her eyes. “Let’s dance. They are playing my song.”
Sophie let out a loud dramatic sigh but stood up and followed Deja to the dance floor. They were playing “She Don’t know love by ZaRio.” As they swayed to the beat, Deja drew Sophie in closer and began kissing Sophie on the neck in the middle of the song. The kisses continued until she reached Sophie's lips. The kiss was passionate and long. When they finally separated for air, Deja stared into Sophie’s eyes. “There she is. You want to get out of here?”
“Yeah,” Sophie responded, out of breath.
They left Faces and headed towards Deja’s apartment, which was only a couple of blocks from the club. As they approached her apartment, Sophie slowed her pace. The uncertainty was creeping back into her thoughts. Did she really want to go into Deja’s apartment? She knew if she did, they would end up having sex. But why would having sex with Deja be bad, she questioned. She couldn’t shake a feeling that was coming over her… guilt.
As Deja unlocked her door, she turned to see Sophie a distance away. “Hey, you’re not having second thoughts?”
Sophie smiled nervously. “No. I’m good.” Trying to convince herself that this was what she needed to get Ryan out of her head.
Deja walked into her apartment and set her keys on the table. Sophie came in behind her and shut the door. Her heart was pounding like a drum. She found herself locked in a battle between guilt and desire. This battle waged within her very soul, each vying for dominance over her actions and emotions.
She took a deep breath, trying to convince herself this was what she wanted. Finally, she said to herself Fuck it! Sophie pushed Deja against the door, and their lips met in a moment of undeniable passion. Yet, amidst the whirlwind of emotions, Sophie’s thoughts remained fixed on Ryan.
As their lips danced, a slip of the tongue betrayed her. In the midst of passion, she accidentally murmured Ryan’s name. The realization of her slip struck her like a lightning bolt, instantly dousing the flames of desire. Her eyes widened, and she pulled away from Deja. “Fuck!” She said.
“Who is Ryan?” Deja questioned out a breath with a look of hurt and confusion painted on her face.
Stammering for words, Sophie apologized, ignoring Deja’s initial question. “I’m sorry.” Refusing to look Deja in her eyes. “I should go.”
“Sophie, no. Please don’t go. Why don’t you talk to me?”
The weight of Sophie’s actions settled heavily on her chest. She knew she shouldn’t have gone with Deja back to her apartment. She knew what would happen. But she didn’t comprehend the magnitude of how much Ryan had a hold on her. All she could do at this moment was to leave. Sophie didn’t want to hurt Deja; she didn't want to hurt anyone, especially Ryan.
“I’m sorry, Deja, but right now, I’m not in the right mind to be with anyone.”
Deja nodded and watched Sophie walk out the door, hoping she would return one day.