Misfits

Chapter 3: Graduation

In the morning, Jane returned early to the yard to get in some more practice. The whole thing still felt silly, but she didn’t want to give Loki any excuse to stop training her. By the time he joined her, she was able to keep the balls in the air with very few mistakes. 

Loki nodded his approval and produced a set of wooden juggling clubs, each a little more than a foot long, with the narrow ends contoured much like a dagger hilt. He once again had Jane start with just two of them, showing her how to swing them in an arc to produce just the right amount of spin. Jane caught on quickly this time and had moved on to three clubs before long. At first, she hit herself in the head or nose more often than not, but by midday she pretty much had it down. 

Loki seemed in a better mood today, so she decided to risk some casual conversation. “Is this how you were taught?” she asked.

“Me? No. I just watched a troupe performer doing it and then taught myself one day in a fit of boredom.” He gave a smug, tight-lipped smile. “I was five, maybe six years old. Agility has always been my forte. Well, one of them.”

Jane knew better than to take anything Loki said at face value, but she wouldn’t be surprised if he was telling the truth this time. She decided to push her luck a little further.

“What was it like, growing up in Asgard?”

Loki didn’t respond right away, and she was afraid she’d put her foot in it. She tried to think of something, anything to change the subject, but finally he responded.

“I spent a great deal of time with my mother, learning magic, or reading in my room. Thor was usually with Odin or in the practice yard with the guards or his friends.  I joined them sometimes, but…” He trailed off.

But you always felt like an outsider, Jane thought, but didn’t dare say aloud. She didn’t want to leave it there, though. She sensed that Loki was being uncharacteristically honest in this moment and she wanted to encourage that. 

“You know, Thor was a wreck after you died,” she told him. 

Loki rolled his eyes. “Oh, I’m sure he mourned for hours,” he mumbled and looked away.

“I’m serious.” She stopped juggling the clubs for a moment. “Loki, look at me. Please.” 

He turned toward her again, his face an unreadable mask. She held his gaze and said softly, “Your death broke him. He’d lost your parents and Asgard, his friends, but he was alright until he lost you. Then he just shut down. He kept it together long enough to avenge you —“

Loki looked startled. “Thor avenged me? Heimdall never tells me anything.”

“Yeah — he chopped off Thanos’s head!”

“Good for him.”

“But after that, it was like a part of him died with you. He gave up. For years, until the Avengers needed his help to undo the Snap and bring everybody back. By the time I ran into him again, he was back in the hero business, but he was different. His heart was still shut down, like he was afraid to get too close to anyone.”

Loki didn’t respond, so Jane tried to lighten the mood a bit. “He also had this really hideous tattoo, all over his back.”

The edges of his mouth quirked up slightly. “A tattoo…?”

She described it as best she could. Loki’s unreadable expression returned, but she sensed that he was touched. 

“Then he lost you, too,” he said quietly. 

She nodded. “He… Well, it’s a long story, but just before I died he agreed to adopt a little girl. I think… I hope that will help him.”

“Thor would be a good father. Better than Odin, at least.”

“I’m sure he will be,” Jane agreed. “And something tells me that kid will be a handful, not unlike her uncle.”

Loki grinned in earnest at that. “Here’s hoping. Alright, break time is over.” He produced a black strip of cloth and proceeded to tie it around her head so that it covered her eyes. He had her try to start juggling the clubs again, but she found it too difficult when she couldn’t see them, so he took two of them from her and directed her to simply spin one back and forth between her hands. After a minute, when she was able to do that consistently, he had her go back to two. Finally, he gave her the third and she found that she was able to do it. 

Just as her arms were starting to tire, the blindfold vanished and she looked at what she was doing: juggling three very sharp daggers. She was so startled that she lost control — and very nearly a couple of fingers as well. She laughed as the daggers clattered to the ground.

“Sneaky,” she said, “but effective, I guess.”

He nodded approvingly. “Not bad. Now you’re ready to learn how to use them.”  

They spent the next several days sparring, and in the evenings Jane joined Zev and Rune in the mead hall. Zev mostly talked about the day’s adventures on the battlefield. Rune talked about his research, which currently had to do with some minor differences he’d noticed in how magic functioned in Valhalla. 

One afternoon, she invited Loki to join her and her friends for the evening meal, but he demurred, and Jane was surprised by her own disappointment. She was beginning to understand why Thor still cared so much for his brother even after everything Loki had done. 

“He makes a good show of being above it all, but I think he’s actually really lonely,” she told her friends that evening.

Finally, after a particularly successful session in which Jane mostly managed to hold her own, Loki declared that she was ready to join him on the battlefield the next day. 

“Here, a little graduation gift,” he proclaimed, producing a maroon leather belt with sheaths for her daggers. 

“Oh! Thank you.” Jane took the belt and fastened it around her waist, then sheathed the blades. “And… thanks for teaching me. I know it probably wasn’t how you wanted to spend your time, but I do appreciate it. Your methods are a little unorthodox, but you’re a pretty good teacher.”

Loki smiled and offered his hand for her to shake. She took it, then yelped as he roughly pulled her in and she felt his blade slide in between her ribs. Stunned, she looked down to see the hilt protruding from her chest, then up at him. 

“Final lesson. Never, ever, let your guard down —especially when your opponent is still armed.” He continued to smile and held her upright as she struggled to breathe, still staring up at him in shock. Her vision wavered and darkened, and just before she lost consciousness, she heard him say, “Meet me here in the morning. We’ll go down there together.”

Jane woke up in her own bed. Instinctively, she looked first at her chest. The tunic was still torn and bloodstained, but there was no wound. Phew. It was one thing to be told that she’d simply be resurrected if she died here, but quite another to experience it. The pain had certainly been real. She swung her legs over the side and stood up hesitantly. There was no residual soreness. It was as if Loki had never stabbed her. 

But he did. I should have known. 

To be fair, he did warn me.

She stripped and tossed the bloodstained clothes into a small hamper. The belt Loki had given her had dried blood on it, so she threw that in too. Each morning, she would find the previous day’s outfit cleaned and hanging in the closet. She hoped the belt counted as clothing.

Convenient. Wish I’d had a magic hamper in grad school.

Valhalla’s sun was dipping lower, but there was still some time before supper. She didn’t seem to have any blood on her, but a nice hot bath was definitely in order. Her bathroom was huge, with an elaborately carved marble tub. She filled it with hot water and slipped in with a sigh.

Leaning her head back against the tub, she let her mind simply dissociate for a while, trying to dislodge the memory of Loki killing her. She didn’t want to dwell on it, particularly since she would be spending at least the next day with him. Instead, she mentally replayed their conversation from earlier in the day. The more she thought about it, the more certain she was that Thor’s grief was both a complete surprise and a comfort to Loki. 

That’s really sad. To believe that your own family doesn’t care about you, even when they do — and it’s not like he has friends to turn to either.  

Eventually, she hauled herself out of the tub, dried off, and inspected the closet. She felt like celebrating tonight, so she opted for an Asgardian gown and silk slippers instead of her usual tunic, trousers, and boots. 

The “Mighty Thor” armor caught her eye and she decided she would wear that in the morning. If the belt was cleaned, she could fasten it on over the armor. It hit her for the first time that the color of the belt matched her armor. Had Loki actually put some thought into the gift?

Just as she was ready to go, someone knocked on the door, startling her. She hadn’t had any visitors since that first morning when Frigga came to collect her. She opened the door to find Zev and Rune standing in the hallway. 

“Hi! We heard you died today and just wanted to make sure you’re okay,” Zev said. “It can be kinda unnerving. I didn’t want to leave my room the first time it happened to me, but Rune here dragged me out.”

Jane laughed. “I think I’m good. Honestly, I’m glad it happened now. I’m joining the battle tomorrow and at least I’ll go in knowing what to expect.”

Wait. Was that why he did it? 

“You finished training? That’s wonderful news!” Rune rushed forward to give her a quick hug, then stepped back when he noticed her gown. “Oh, um, that’s a different look for you, isn’t it?”

“I just wanted to relax and forget about fighting for one night.”

Rune grinned. “I think this counts as a special occasion. Let’s do something different tonight! I’m friends with some of the kitchen staff — I can get us a basket of food and drink and we can go somewhere and make a picnic of it. I know the perfect spot.”

Jane and Zev readily agreed.

“Right. I’ll be back in a few minutes, then we can go.”

Rune was as good as his word and returned shortly carrying a large woven basket. At his suggestion, Jane took a blanket from the bed for them to sit on. 

They set off, Rune leading the way along a path that wound and climbed through the craggy rocks surrounding the compound, emerging finally into a small clearing with a gorgeous view of the enclave, the gate bridge, and the sunset. Jane spread the blanket out on a bed of soft moss, and the three friends settled down to eat. They talked about their lives before Valhalla, and for the first time since she arrived, Jane felt almost like a normal, living person.

In the morning, she donned her armor and met Loki in the practice yard. She’d been pleasantly surprised to find that the belt Loki had given her was now incorporated into the suit itself, with a pair of daggers already sheathed and ready. 

As they walked down to the field, Loki gave her some last-minute instructions. They would work as a team and guard each others’ backs. 

“Well, as long as you last, that is,” Loki added. “It’s too much to hope that you’ll survive the day.”

Jane was feeling more optimistic. “This isn’t my first battle, you know. I’ll be fine.”

Loki grinned. “Care to make a small wager?”

Jane considered. “Alright, if I survive the day, you have to eat in the mead hall with me tonight.”

Loki gave her a shrewd, calculating look. “And if you don’t?”

Jane was at a loss. What could she possibly offer that would interest him?

“Tell you what,” he said. “If you die, you owe me a favor, as yet unspecified.”

She eyed him suspiciously. That sort of arrangement with tricksters never ended well in stories.

Loki sighed. “Nothing that will get you into trouble, and nothing of, shall we say, an overly personal nature.” 

He chuckled when Jane’s reaction made it clear that she hadn’t even considered that possibility. “I assure you, I don’t share my brother’s taste in dalliances.”

“Deal,” she said, and hastened to add “And no fair killing me yourself — or failing to watch my back. Do that, and you forfeit.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”