Promise
Cait and Vi reached the deck to find it in utter chaos. Half of the ship was already underwater, the boats were gone, and people jumped into the icy death below.
“We have to stay on the ship as long as possible!”, Vi shouted. Upwards, then. They climbed over rails, which wasn’t much of a problem since they weren’t vertical anymore, and made their way through the crowd.
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…”, A man prayed in front of Vi, blocking the stairs with his slow pace.
“You wanna walk a little faster through that valley there?”, Vi stressed behind him. When they finally made it up the stairs, Vi and Cait continued running. On their way they passed a preacher holding a church service for those who want to listen.
Finally, they reached the back – now top – of the ship. The propellers were already above the water, and more and more people seemed to prefer the jump to the cold water. Cait held on to the railing, Vi behind her, securing her between the metal and her own body.
Cait looked around. She saw a mother trying to calm down her child, a man sending prayers to heaven and a young woman holding onto the rails for dear life, all of the scared to death. That’s when it hit her.
“Vi, this is where we first met”, Cait smiled. Vi kissed her and held her even tighter. It was almost ironic, that death would bring them together at this very spot and presumably part them right here as well.
Next to them, Cait spotted one of the cooks, who already was full as the moon, pulling a flask from his jacket and drinking even more.
Suddenly, the lights went out. Not just some, but all of them. People screamed even louder, and the groaning sounds of the wood and metal sounded even more menacing coming from the darkness around them.
Suddenly, the groaning got louder and louder and was accompanied by cracking noises. Cait felt the ship slowly sink again. Was the Titanic…breaking?
Seconds later, her suspicion was verified as the top of the ship fell down with all its weight. Cait’s stomach felt as if it would be turning and she felt Vi using all her strength to secure Cait with her own body. For a second, the ship was horizontal again, until it rose once more, only this time faster.
“We have to move!”, Vi shouted over the screams of the people, climbed over to the other side of the railing and helped Cait climb after her. “I got you. I won’t let go.”
“What’s happening, Vi?”
“I don’t know.”
The ship was now standing perfectly upright, the dark sea directly below them.
Vi didn’t know how long the boat stood like that. Minutes? Seconds? All she could think of was possible ways of survival, especially for Cait. Suddenly, the ship started to sink. It was going down.
“This is it”, Vi said and held Cait closer to her again, intertwining their fingers. “Hold on. The ship’s gonna suck us down. Take a deep breath when I say.”
Cait nodded, before repeating “Oh god” over and over again.
“Kick to the surface and keep kicking! Do not let go of my hand!”
The ocean came closer, and closer, like a dark, cold and hungry monster devouring everything in its path, its wavy talons pulling the Titanic towards her watery grave.
“We’re gonna make it, Cait. Trust me.”
The water came closer, mercilessly swallowing the ship whole.
“Now!”, Vi shouted over the sound of screaming people and rushing water.
Cait held her eyes shut as hard as possible, grabbed Vi’s hand with all her strength and took a deep breath. Would this have been her last?
The waves came crashing in above them, and Cait immediately felt too many forces pulling at her body. She was kicking her feet just as Vi had told her, but I didn’t seem to work. Her body was numb from the cold.
Suddenly, she felt Vi’s hand getting ripped from hers. No, no, no. The ocean was pulling her under. She broke through the surface again, took a deep breath and immediately regretted it. The freezing air was burning in her lungs. Around her were hundreds of people splashing, trying to hold themselves above water, shouting the names of their loved ones.
Cait tried her best to paddle somewhere with a better overview and less people, looking for Vi, as she passed a man without a lifebelt who decided Cait would be good to use as a floating device.
She was pushed underwater once more, this time icy saltwater got into her nose, mouth and eyes. She was waving her hands and tried her best to get rid of the man, as the pressure suddenly disappeared and Cait floated back to the surface.
“Get off her!”, she heard Vi’s voice and turned around to see her punching the man who almost drowned Cait. Relief washed over her, to see her love still alive.
“Vi!”
“Cait! Listen, I need you to swim!”
Together they paddled through the crowd, to its edge, where Vi spotted a floating door.
“Over there!”, she shouted and pulled Cait after her. “Here, get on it.”
Cait groaned as she pulled herself on top of the door, her legs and arms too weak to hold her own weight. Vi helped her as much as she could, but her own strength almost left her as well. As Cait was on top of the door with most of her body, Vi tried to climb on it as well, but the door tipped over and both of them were back in the water.
That’s when Vi knew, she wouldn’t live to see the morning light. Even if the door had enough space for the both of them, it wouldn’t stay afloat under their weight.
“Stay on it, Cait”, she stuttered and helped Cait climb the door once more. Vi had to stay in the water, and she was smart enough to know that that was a death sentence. But if there was even the slightest chance of Cait surviving, Vi was ready to give her own life for it.
“You’ll be all right now”, she said as she put her arms on the door, held Cait’s hands tight and leaning her head against hers. Next to them was a crewman blowing a whistle, a signal for the lifeboats to return and pick up the survivors. He was holding onto a chair, but his body was mostly underwater. He too would definitely die, Vi knew that.
“The boats are coming back for us, Cait”, Vi whispered, her body shaking. “Hold on just a little bit longer.”
Vi knew it wasn’t true. If the boats returned, maybe later, now they were probably too scared of the survivors tipping the boats over as they tried to get on them. But she had to give Cait hope.
“They had to row away for the suction, but now they’ll be coming back.”
Vi wasn’t entirely sure if Cait was nodding or if her head was just shaking so hard, but her eyes told Vi that she believed it. That’s good. She needed to hope.
*
Cait didn’t know how long she was laying on that door. Maybe minutes, maybe hours. Slowly, it started to get quiet around her. Lesser voices, lesser cries. The man had stopped blowing his whistle.
“It’s getting quiet”, she whispered. She felt as if her body was already frozen, her heart only beating for a little bit longer. She felt so, so tired.
“It’s just gonna take ‘em a couple of minutes to get here”, Vi stuttered, referring to the boats. Cait managed to open her eyes a bit to look at Vi’s face. She was pale as snow, her hair and eyelashes frozen. Her body was shivering and from time to time she rolled her eyes back as if she was about to faint.
“I don’t know about you, but I intend to write a strongly-worded letter to the White Star Line about all this”, she joked.
Cait wanted to smile, but she didn’t have control over her face anymore. All she could was look at Vi, and she started to get the feeling she wouldn’t survive. She’d have to say goodbye. In her head, Cait replayed all the moments they had together. When Vi pulled her to safety from death, when she took her to a real party, when they fled from Lovejoy and held each other close in the back of a car.
“I love you, Vi.”
Vi rose her head a bit, worry shining in her eyes. “Don’t you do that. Don’t say your goodbyes. Not yet, do you understand me?”
Cait’s eyes closed again. “I’m so cold.”
“Listen, Cait. We’re gonna get out of here. You’re gonna go on, and you’re gonna have lots of children, and you’re gonna watch ‘em grow. You’re gonna die and old…” Vi was shivering too hard to speak normally. “…an old lady in her bed. Not here. Not this night. Not like this. Do you understand me?”
“I can’t feel my body”, Cait replied. Vi tried to move a bit closer to her. Her head also started replaying the moments they had together.
“Winning that ticket, Cait, was the best thing that ever happened to me. It brought me to you…and I’m thankful for that, Cait. I’m thankful.”
Cait cried, but she didn’t shed any tears. They were probably already frozen.
“You must…you must” Vi shivered. “You must do me this honour. You must promise me that you’ll survive…that you won’t give up…no matter what happens…no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Cait…and never let go of that promise.”
“I promise”, Cait answered.
“Never let go.”
“I will never let go, Vi. I’ll never let go.”
Vi smiled, although it looked very painful. Then she kissed Cait’s hand, and they rested their heads against each other once more. Cait didn’t feel anything anymore. Even if someone came back to save them, would she ever be able to move again?
After some time, Cait managed to turn her head and look at the sky above her. The stars, looking down on them. Would they help if they could? Maybe Cait could ask them once she was up there.
She didn’t know why, but she started singing softly and haltingly.
“…my flying machine. And it’s up she goes…up she goes…come, Josephine…”
Suddenly, something in the corner of her eye caught her attention. Slowly, she turned her head, and couldn’t believe her eyes. It was a lifeboat, looking for survivors. Men shouted and lit the scene with a flashlight, but Cait didn’t understand what they were saying. It sounded as if they were far away. She tucked at Vi’s hand.
“Vi?”
She turned around, facing the love of her life. Her eyes were closed, and she’d stopped shivering.
“Vi”, Cait repeated, but she knew she wouldn’t be getting an answer. But still, Cait kept on shaking her.
“Vi, there’s a boat. Vi?”
She called her name over and over, frozen tears filling her eyes, but Vi didn’t answer. This can’t be it, this can’t be it. Cait tried to convince herself that Vi was just resting, saving her energy. But deep down she knew.
Cait looked up, the boat was turning to leave again.
She could just lay down again, it surely wouldn’t take long for her to die as well. But she’d made a promise. And she didn’t plan on denying Vi her last wish.
Cait tried her best to gather the little energy she had left, and shouted after the boat. Well, she wanted to shout, but her voice was nothing but a whisper. She looked back down at Vi, her lifeless body floating in the water.
Cait slowly ad gently pushed her away from the door, kissed her hand one last time and watched as the love of her life disappeared into the blackness of the sea below.
“I’ll never let go”, she sobbed.
An idea formed in her head. Cait had to get the whistle. So, she crawled back into the water and paddled over to the crewman’s frozen body, still holding onto the chair.
For Vi, for Vi, for Vi.
Then Cait took the whistle from the man and blew it as loud as she could.
She watched as the boat turned and came closer, but she didn’t stop blowing the whistle. Only as two men pulled her on board of the lifeboat, she dropped the whistle. Immediately, blankets were put over her body and men talked to her, but Cait didn’t hear them anymore. Her head was with Vi, somewhere under the sea.
When Cait opened her eyes again, the sky was lit with the sun’s light, and she was hauled onto the deck of a bigger ship, which probably came to their rescue, only way too late. Blankets were handed to her, and she watched maids walking around with hot tea and soup.
From the corner of her eye she spotted Cal, walking through the rows of people, probably looking for her. Cait wished he would’ve died instead of Vi. She didn’t deserve her fate.
She could make herself known, look at Cal, follow him, but she didn’t.
The day went by, the hours stretched into eternity, and Cait didn’t speak once. When the ship passed the statue of liberty, a crewman with a pen and a list came over to her and asked for her name.
Cait looked at the man, and didn’t think twice about her answer.
“Dawson. Cait Dawson.”
The man walked away again, and Cait’s mind wandered to Vi again. She would keep her promise. She would live her life, and do all the things she wanted to do with Vi. Visit that pier in Santa Monica, ride horses like a man, chew tobacco like a man. Cait was grateful as well. Vi had saved her, in every way that a person can be saved.
Cait put her hands in the pockets of the coat she was still wearing, when her hand touched something cold. She pulled it from her pocket, and held the blued diamond necklace in her hand. Cal must’ve forgotten he’d put it in the coat before he had handed it to Cait.
She scoffed. The necklace was called “The Heart of the Ocean”. That’s bullshit, she thought. That stupid stone wasn’t her heart of the ocean.
Vi was.
And she always will be.
Forever.