Forever
Cait still stood there and watched after Vi’s been taken away. She believed that Vi was innocent, but did she just believe it because she wanted to? Because she wanted to protect the first good thing in years at all costs?
Cal turned around from leaning in the doorframe and walked over to Cait. She looked down for a moment and sighed, waiting for the “you are my wife and you have to honour me the way a wife has to honour her husband”-lecture. Cal looked her up and down, her messed up hair, her slightly dirty dress and the marks Vi undoubtedly left on Cait’s neck.
His lips twitched, like they always did when he was very angry. Suddenly, he raised his hand and slapped Cait across the face. Hot pain flooded over her cheek and her eyes immediately filled with tears. But she stood her ground. She would not crumble before Cal.
“Oh, it is a little slut, isn’t it?”, he said in his most pejorative voice. “Will you look at me when I’m talking to you!”
He grabbed Cait’s shoulders, not caring if he hurt her or not, and forced her to face him. Suddenly, Cait was scared. Scared of what Cal might do next. She could fight, but she wouldn’t be able to hold him off very long.
In that moment, someone knocked at the door and Cait sent a silent prayer to heaven.
“Not now, we are busy!”, Cal shouted at the crewman, who entered anyways.
“Sir, I’ve been asked to please put on your lifebelts and come up to the –“
“I said, not now”, Cal interrupted the man.
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but it’s Captain’s orders”, the man said and left again. “Now, please dress warmly, it’s quite cold out tonight.”
So there really was no hope for the Titanic, she was going to sink. Cait thought of the lifeboats, and how they’d undoubtedly be sorted by class. Vi would never get off this ship.
Cal chuckled dismissively and walked away as the crewman returned with the lifebelts. Cait wiped her tears and held her hand to her still hurting and probably very red cheek, as the man walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder.
“Do not worry, miss. I’m sure it’s just a precaution.”
I’m not crying because the ship will go down, but because the love of my life will go down with it. And I do not mean the “fiancée” who hit me a minute ago, Cait would’ve liked to say, but she didn’t.
Silently, she put on a light pink coat and walked after Cal and her mother, who put on another outfit extra for the occasion, to the staircase hall.
“I don’t think anybody knows what the hell’s going on around here”, Cait heard Molly say as she walked past them.
“It’s the goddamn English doing everything by the book”, Cal grouched.
“There’s no need for language, Mr. Hockley”, Cait’s mother answered, then turned to her two maids. “Go back and turn the heaters on in our rooms. I’d like a cup of tea when I return.”
Again, Cait would’ve like to have said something. Yes, there is a need for language, this fucking ship will sink. And no mother, there’s no need for tea because you will never see this room again.
Cal kept on mumbling how he’s going to complain about this, when Cait spotted Mr. Andrews walking past them. His eyes were so full of sorrow, it made him look twenty years older.
“Mr. Andrews”, she stopped him. “I saw the iceberg, and I see it in your eyes. Please, tell me the truth.”
Mr. Andrews pulled her to the side, away from too many potential listeners.
“This ship will sink”, he said quietly.
“Are you certain?”, Cait asked. Please say no, please say no, were her first thoughts. I have to get Vi, was the next.
“Yes, in an hour or so. All this will be at the bottom of the Atlantic. Please, tell only who you must, I don’t want to be responsible for a panic, and get to a boat, quickly. You remember what I told you about the boats?”
Yes, Cait did remember. She suspected it before, but now with the confirmation of Mr. Andrews that the Titanic will sink, it hit her like a rock in the face. She would get a boat, but not Vi. She didn’t even know where she was. That’s when Cait made herself a promise. She would not leave this ship without Vi. And if she died while trying, she would die next to her love.
Slowly, Cait and the other walked on deck, while she tried to form a plan in her mind. There were not many people on deck, many preferred to stay inside because of the cold. Cait could’ve laughed at their stupidity, but she didn’t feel like laughing.
Above her, a signal rocket exploded. If the distress signals would run out before the Titanic was underwater?
Cait barely heard the crewmen wanting all women and children to step forward. She was in some kind of trance, still paralysed from her shock.
“Will the lifeboats be sorted according to class?”, Cait heard her mother’s strident voice. “I hope they’re not too crowded.”
Cait couldn’t believe it. How could someone be so arrogant, naïve and self-centred all at once?
“Oh mother…”, she sighed. “Shut up!” She grabbed her shoulders. “Don’t you understand? The waer is freezing and there aren’t enough boats. Not enough by half. Half the people on this ship are going to die.”
“Not the better half”, Cal threw in. Cait turned to face him, angrier than she’s ever felt in her entire life.
“You know it’s a pity I didn’t keep that drawing. It’ll be a lot more worth by morning.” And then Cal smiled. He smiled.
“You unimaginable bastard”, Cait growled. She rose her hand slightly, getting ready to beat hell out of Cal, when her mother and Molly shouted her name.
“Caitlyn, come here! Step into the boat.”
Cait couldn’t. She couldn’t leave Vi. As she told herself before, if they were going to die, they were going to die together. Slowly, she took a step back, then another.
“Goodbye, mother”, she nodded, didn’t bother to look at Cal one last time and ran away. She had to find Vi.
“Caitlyn, come back here!”
In a matter of seconds, Cal was behind her, his hard hands on her shoulders again, yanking her around.
“Where are you going?!”, he shouted at her. “To her? To be a whore to a gutter rat?!”
Cait steadied herself, held her head up and looked down on Cal even though he was taller than her.
“I’d rather be her whore than your wife.”
She turned to run, but Cal grabbed her hand and pulled her back again, trying to hold her captive and force her back on the boat.
Cait tried to escape, but he was too strong. So, she turned around, made a hawking sound and spit directly in Cal’s face. He let her go for a second, and that was enough time for Caitlyn to turn and run away. This time forever.