Tony Stark is Human

In theory, pulling an all nighter with a preexisting cold was not a good idea, but that's never stopped Tony Stark. He was doing good, running on coffee and loud music to get all of his projects finished, and despite the minor cough (that was becoming less and less minor as the hours passed) he managed to get a lot done. He didn't even realize it was morning until he ran out of coffee in his coffee pot and had to go upstairs to remedy that.

When he stepped into the commons, he was met with the bright, natural lighting and the Avengers spread around the kitchen in varying levels of wakefulness. In an instant he spotted the full coffee pot and made a beeline for it, hoping not to attract much attention.

"All I'm saying is that newspapers are completely obsolete and a waste of paper." Clint was saying. Bruce hummed in agreement from the stove where he was cooking an egg. Steve shook his head unbelievingly, placing his newspaper down on the counter next to his oatmeal.

"Newspapers are still a necessary tool even today. What happens if the internet shuts down?" Tony snorted which eventually led to a small cough. He took a sip of coffee to counteract the tickle in his throat.

"Am I going to have to re-explain the internet to you?" Tony said between coughs.

"Please no." Steve groaned and Tony laughed. That had been an excruciating conversation for everyone involved.

"Just admit it Steve, newspapers are just a waste." Clint frowned, and Steve just rolled his eyes, flipping to the next page.

"Oh lay off him," Natasha cut in, "he's clearly just defending himself against your claims of obsoletion. This isn't about a newspaper." Steve flushed, and Tony laughed again which quickly led to another coughing fit he tried to stifle into his fist. Bruce frowned, eyeing Tony.

"That doesn't sound good, are you feeling okay?"

"Just peachy." Tony said, his sentiment lost between stifled coughs. It wasn't unusual for him to develop a bad cough with minimal other symptoms, his lungs so weak post Arc reactor.

"Don't forget about training." Steve reminded him, now sharing the same concerned frown as Bruce. Tony hated when they looked at him like he was weak. "You don't have to participate this week if you're not feeling up for it. You just got over that fever."

"Three weeks ago!" Tony objected. Usually he would jump at any chance not to train, only feeling like the weak link when they did, but no way he was letting Steve baby him because of some stupid cold.

"I still can't believe I missed Stark calling himself an idiot." Natasha complained lightheartedly.

"Are we still talking about that? Anything I said with that high of a fever must automatically be discredited. I'm not an idiot, and I'm completely fine. I will be training today." Bruce hummed in disagreement, and Steve just looked concerned.

"Stop looking at me like that. I'm fine." He started to exit the room with his dignity still intact, but before he could fully exit he was doubled over with another coughing fit.

“God, that one actually hurt.” He thought with a grimace.

___

Two hours later and FRIDAY was reminding him of his own health condition (“With a decreased lung function common side effects are-“ “Shut it FRIDAY.”) while Dummy was practically shoving his inhaler into his hands every time he turned around.

He had to admit his breathing had gotten noticeably worse, wheezing and shallow breathing were the only ways he was actually getting oxygen. He was lightheaded, and coughing now felt like he was being stabbed in the chest.

He subconsciously rubbed his sore chest as he stared at the holograph of the Spider Man suit in front of him, slightly dizzy but aware enough that he noticed the math wasn’t adding up.

“Friday, rerun the simulation, I think something went wrong. And while you’re at it could you rescan the code? I think Ted may have undone my previous work from the looks of it.” The location tracker recently went down, and though Peter insists that he really was at home all night doing homework, there were many Spider Man sightings tying him to the scene of the crime.

“Right away Boss. Might I add that your current oxygen intake is not nearly sufficient-“

“Friday,” Tony chastised, “what did I say about meddling in my health issues?” The AI did not respond, either from pity or being incapable of disobeying her code. Tony turned, nearly jumping out of his skin when Bruce appeared right next to him, weirdly holding an inhaler.

“Jesus Christ,” Tony held the Ark reactor, partially for dramatic effect and partially because it really did feel like he just about had a heart attack, “you can’t sneak up on me like that Banner, I have a heart condition.”

“Sorry, I thought you knew I was here. Friday didn’t let you know?” Tony rolled his eyes, turning back to the holograph.

“We’re not on great terms right now.” He said simply, and Bruce laughed as if it was a joke.

“I think your robot wants you to have this.” He held out the inhaler that Dummy had earlier held. Dummy looked as proud as a robot could look.

“Yeah, we’re not on great terms either.” Tony coughed painfully into his fist, the coughing fit lasting about twenty seconds.

“I think you accidentally made robots smarter than you.” Bruce commented sarcastically and Tony rolled his eyes again.

“Don’t give them any more of a complex.” He coughed, this time for not as long. His lungs were slowly giving out on him. Bruce offered the inhaler again, but Tony just shook his head.

“I don’t need that.” Bruce frowned, crossing his arms.

“Either use it or tell me what’s going on. Your choice.” Tony smirked, glancing back at Bruce.

“Or what?” He asked playfully, a glimmer in his eyes. He was hoping if he stalled long enough he would not have to pick.

“Or I’ll tell Pepper you’re refusing to use your inhaler.” Tony bit his lip, knowing he’d been beat. No way Pepper would be happy with this.

“Fine, but I’m not using that thing, I don’t need it. The doctor just gave it to me after my first asthma attack.” Bruce’s eyes widened considerable and Tony shrugged as if it were no big deal.

“First?” Bruce placed the inhaler down. Tony flicked his wrist and the holograph followed to land in front of Bruce.

“Read me those numbers please. Slowly.” Bruce nodded, falling into line as they often did in the workshop.

“One….zero……zero..” he started slowly. “What do you mean first?”

“Apparently there’s not much room in my chest for a heart, ark reactor and lungs. Had to make room somehow, so now my lung capacity is about 80% of what it was. Keep going.” Tony said distractedly.

“Zero…one…..one…..one. So you’ve basically developed asthma because of your decreased lung capacity. The inhaler helps?”

“Sometimes. Sometimes it’s easier to just tough it out though, no matter what they’re painful. Might as well just take it.” Tony pulled another holograph down to accompany the one next to him. “I didn’t need an inhaler before, I shouldn’t need it now.”

“Zero, zero…..one, zero. What other accommodations do you have?” Tony glanced at him sideways, a strange look on his face.

“No need to worry about me Brucie, asthma will not be the thing that kills Tony Stark.” As if on cue, the coughing started again. His whole body seemed to lurch with every cough, sounding more and more painful. Bruce winced in sympathy, his own lungs hurting from just the sight. He offered the inhaler, but Tony just shook his head. After a minute or so it was over, and Tony was breathing shallowly again, almost wheezing with every breath.

“Keep reading.” He said, his voice hoarse and thin.

“Tony…” Bruce started, but Tony just stood up straighter, shaking his head.

“It’s fine, I already know what I’m dealing with.” He cleared his throat, then under his breath, “that little shit. I’m going to have to hire him.”

“Who?” Bruce asked, looking at the holograph in front of Tony.

“P-Spidey has a friend who helps him go past curfew. He’s damn good, but it’s getting annoying having to fix my code all the time.” There was a fondness in Tony’s voice under the hoarse annoyance.

“I’m surprised Spider man doesn’t do it himself. He seems like a smart kid.” Bruce commented, hoping to make Tony comfortable before redirecting the conversation. Tony loved talking about Spiderman, though he tried to act like he didn’t.

“He is, but code isn’t really his thing. He’s more into the mechanics and engineering or whatever, lets his friend do the dirty work. Which I’m sure he loves.” Tony added, typing quickly.

“So, does Spidey know about the inhaler?” Bruce said casually, but Tony’s head snapped up.

“You will not tell him.” He said sharply, and Bruce smiled. Got him.

“Okay, but in exchange you will not be joining this training session, or the next. You will let me carry an extra inhaler, as well as you carry yours at all times. That’s all I ask.” Tony’s eyes narrowed, there was a solid minute of silence between them before he finally conceded.

“You’ve just dropped to the same level as my bots. You, like them are no longer on good terms with me.” Tony said as menacingly as he could with a still hoarse voice, but his threat was ruined by Friday cutting in from above.

“Welcome to the club Mr. Banner.” Bruce laughed, tucking the inhaler into his jacket.

“Glad to be apart of it.” He said as he stalked out of the lab, Tony glaring at him from behind.

___

“Are you done worrying about me?"

"Never." Bruce said somewhat tiredly from where he was watching Tony. Tony's cough had developed, and was getting visibly worse, yet he continued to brush it off.

Tony leaned on the counter, sipping coffee and swiping on his Stark Pad, while Bruce watched him from the sofa.

"Why are we worried about Stark?" Natasha asked as she entered the room, only catching bits of their conversation. It was often she walked in on a conversation about Tony, his human-ness making him prone to "incidents". She and most of the team had grown used to it, though having Stark on the team was a lot like having an overconfident teenager at times.

"Bruce is, but what's new?" Tony grumbled from his seat, not looking up. Natasha smiled at that, moving across the kitchen to make a cup of tea. She could appreciate Stark's stoicism and sarcasm, both qualities that are hard to combine in a person, though Tony Stark managed it.

"Bruce's fears are well backed up. You haven't really given us any reason to not be worried about you at any given moment." Tony rolled his eyes but didn't object.

"Tony seems to be under the impression that having asthma means he's weak, therefore he must never use his inhaler." Bruce commented. Tony would have been more upset about Bruce telling Natasha if he didn't think she already knew.

"I don't need it." He said loudly, as if annunciating his point would change Bruce's stance.

"Your cough is getting worse." Natasha noted. Tony looked like he was about to object, but was immediately thrown into a coughing fit that left his whole body shaking. Bruce stood like he was going to do something to help Tony, but kept his distance. When Tony finished Bruce wavered behind him, not confident enough in Tony's cough to warrant sitting down again.

"Jesus Tony." Natasha said softly, rare pity thick in his voice.

"I'm fine." Tony winced, massaging the area around the ark reactor.

"You carry your inhaler?" Bruce confirmed.

"Yes Mom." Tony's joke was a weak cover for the severity of his pain. His chest throbbed and his lungs felt like they physically ached.

"Use it." Tony shot another glare at Bruce before silently stalking out of the room. Bruce frowned in his wake.