When you hurt, I hurt (Nightmares)
Peter had had a nightmare. It wasn’t a big deal, Peter was staying for the night and Tony was able to calm him down, but by the time Peter was back asleep Tony’s heart was racing.
Pepper met him at the doorway of their room, her brow creased in a concerned way.
“Tony? Are you okay?” Her voice was like silk, soft and light. Tony felt like he was floating, like the whole world flooded and the only thing keeping him from sinking was the crease in Pepper’s brow and her silky voice.
“I need coffee.” He said numbly, turning to go to the kitchen. She followed after him, concern more raised by the vacant look in his eyes.
“No, coffee will keep you up all night.” She said, her voice still soft. Tony ignored her objections and continued into the kitchen, grabbing his mug off the counter and pouring cold coffee in. He lifted it into the microwave, pointedly ignoring Pepper’s questioning gaze from across the room.
“Are you going to tell me what happened? Is Peter hurt?”
“Yes. No- I mean, not physically but yes.” Tony stumbled over his words, unsure on how to even begin to talk about the pain in Peter’s screams.
Peter had woken up screaming, immediately panicking from his nightmare. He had stumbled out of bed, and FRIDAY had barely enough time to warn Pepper and Tony before Peter burst into their room, still screaming and sobbing. Tony was immediately up, carrying Peter away from Pepper as he kept screaming. He was having a nightmare, awake yet still trapped.
The microwave beeped, cutting through Tony’s memories like a sharp knife. Tony let out an exhale, as if trying to expel the memories of his kid yelling his name, telling him to help him.
“Tony?” Pepper said softly.
Tony turned, unable to hide the way his hands shook, his whole body shook.
“He was so fucking scared, Pep.” He whispered. Pepper walked over to him, her steps gentle yet determined as she embraced him. She gently touched his arms, then his face, as if trying to take the pain and pressure away from him.
“He-he kept yelling at me. He thought that I was Ben, or myself. I don’t really know, he just kept yelling.” His vision blurred as he thought about the way Peter gripped onto Tony’s arms, like he was holding him over a cliff. An attempt to escape while also holding on for his life.
“Did he go back to sleep?” Pepper asked, now whispering. She was getting quieter, as if a raised voice would break Tony. It probably would, it felt like anything could break him right now.
“Barely. He was sobbing, and he couldn’t breathe-“ Tony glanced away and Pepper slid her arms down to his hips, keeping constant contact, something to ground him.
“I don’t think he had enough air, he suffocated himself to the point of passing out.”
“Tony,” she said pitifully. His name had so much weight, so many questions and answers and comfort and understanding.
Tiny turned back around, grabbing his coffee from the microwave. They sat in silence for a moment, him staring at the dark coffee.
“You’re not going back to sleep, are you?” Pepper asked, not a question, more a statement.
“I need to know it won’t happen again.” He said after a moment, finally meeting her eyes. Her face looked so gentle, so understanding. She was so strong, she could move mountains without breaking a sweat, but she still found it in herself to stare at him like that.
“Go.” She urged him, permission to be scared and seek comfort, at least for the night.
Tony stepped forward, slowly kissing her hair before brushing past her, full cup of coffee in hand as he entered Peter’s room.
That night, Pepper slept alone, and Tony didn’t sleep at all. He stayed awake, just watching the rise and fall of Peter’s chest, sipping coffee, and reassuring himself that his kid was alive and there.