Bucky sat bolt upright, sweating profusely and gasping in fear, damn that had been a bad one he hadn’t had a nightmare in months and certainly not to that intensity. Now deeply unsettled the soldier knew he wasn’t getting back to sleep so got up and wandered out of his bedroom to grab a glass of water from his kitchen. The first glass was chugged down without much thought so he poured another then went to sit in his living room, as he slumped down into his solitary chair he turned on the TV to take his mind off the disturbing dream. Bucky scrolled through the channels nothing appealed to him or caught his attention so he turned it off and grabbed the book on the side table, he was already halfway through The Two Towers having decided to catch up on his reading now that he was settling into normal life, well has normal has it could be for someone like him at least he’d got use to a bed again. Opening the book he flicked to the bookmark initially giving it a cursory glance however has he tried to concentrate on the words his eyes slid to it, it was an envelope with elegant sloping handwriting which had surprised him when he found out who it was from, left-handed people when he grew up usually had a horrible scrawl but obviously how handwriting was taught had changed significantly over the decades. The super soldier stroked the envelope in thought then pulled out the letter inside and read it, it had been Zemo’s first letter to him all those months ago. Bucky reread it several times and was struck by intense guilt as the letter was heartfelt and genuine he shouldn’t have listened to Sam he should have stuck to his guns. It had been two months since that conversation and two and a half since he’d last received a letter from the incarcerated Baron so on a whim he jogged back into his bedroom to grab his phone. A few minutes later he was left staring at the device in disbelief he had got the same run-around from the Raft staffer has before, the feeling of dread crept up his spine something was wrong very wrong but he didn’t have the clout to get to the bottom of the mystery he knew who could though, however it was understandable if they ignored his call. It was him sticking his neck out again for their least favourite person in the world after all. Taking a deep breath he called Shuri.
The administrator met them at the hanger with several guards trying to cut them off from access to the prison but Shuri was not in the mood to talk and told the man in no uncertain terms that under the United Nations Security Council Covenant that the Dora Milaje have a duty of care over the prisoners they capture and if he had any problems then he could take it up with President Ross. The man tried to protest further however Shuri told him that unless he wanted to cause an international incident they’ll let them go it also became obvious that the guards had decided they didn’t get paid enough to go up against an elite group of warrior women who glared menacingly at them daring them to even breathe. Shuri with her entourage including Bucky steamed out of the hanger with a single-minded purpose.
They could tell something was wrong as soon as they stepped into the cell area the man didn’t move or turn towards them, he just sat slouched on his bunk staring into space, Shuri and Bucky gave each other a concerned look has they stepped over towards the Baron. Ayo quickly opened the door with Shuri immediately entering to stand in front of the prisoner it took a moment for Zemo to register someone else was there and slowly lifted his eyes up to the Wakandan Queen. The quick witted Baron was silent his blank expression and dull eyes tore at Bucky’s soul; this wasn’t Zemo this was a shell that just looked like the Sokovian. Shuri spoke gently to Zemo who looked at her uncomprehending her words, slowly blinking in confusion Bucky cast a quick eye over the room and noticed a light layer of dust on the small radio and books on a shelf realising they had been untouched for sometime which crushed him and made him feel even worse for listening to Sam. Shuri turned to Bucky and told him that they were going to take the Baron back to Wakanda.
“Don’t worry Zemo they’ll make you better I promise they helped me,” Bucky said reassuringly.
Zemo’s brown eyes lifted up to the soldier to look at him for the first time then all hell broke loose has the Baron began screaming and recoiling away from him, it was shocking to everyone seeing the absolute fear on the Sokovians face Shuri shooed a stunned Bucky out of the cell but the Baron didn’t calm down until Bucky backed out of the room and out of sight. Bucky’s emotions were all over the place however it was the guilt at leaving Zemo to this fate that was the major overriding feeling.
Nomble strode down the hall flanked by two other Dora, all of them seemed to be carrying papers and books, she stopped and eyed him in a dispassionate way then held out several letters, Bucky immediately recognised the handwriting and took them from her, he frowned has he saw they were already opened. Nomble informed him that they found them in The Raft’s psychiatrist’s office but Dr Darnell was nowhere to be found.
“I thought the doctor’s name was Sheen,” queried Bucky.
“He was replaced months ago,” the warrior informed him.
Nomble left him to his thoughts as she went to tell Shuri the findings of her search, Bucky looked at the scrunched letters in his hand and pulled out the letter on top from the date it was probably the last letter the Baron wrote. Bucky read the letter it seemed as if Zemo was trying to remain cheerful however from the language it felt forced if you didn’t know the man extensively like he did so he did what you always needed to do with Zemo and read between the lines. Bucky felt completely disheartened as he deciphered the code within, Zemo was aware something bad was happening and his memory was becoming his enemy. The super soldier leaned heavily against the wall defeated, he could fight any enemy even against his own fucked up head but how did you fight for someone else’s mind when they were scared of you. Shuri exited the room followed by the Dora half carrying half dragging a sedated Baron, Bucky said nothing but fell in behind the group as they headed back to the hanger and once on the Royal Talon Fighter he sat away from the Sokovian as to help keep him has calm as possible. They then headed back to Wakanda.
As soon as they landed Zemo was whisked off to the medical centre for extensive tests and Bucky pulled Shuri to the side before she could follow to tell her about the letter. Bucky had checked the others while they travelled and had noted that several times Zemo had told him stories in the letters but then repeated them in the next one has if it was the first time he was telling Bucky, clearly forgetting he had done so. Bucky held up the offending letter, taking a deep breath he told Shuri about the cipher and the secondary message where the Baron says he was in danger with his memory fragmenting and had bruises that remind him of the ones Bucky got from the Hydra machine. The soldier saw Shuri shiver her blood running cold at the thought however she thanked him for the information and told him to go to see Anaya, the Royal housekeeper to get himself a room. Bucky protested he wanted to be there for Zemo but Shuri put her hand on his shoulder.
“Bucky it’s okay you shouldn’t feel guilty none of us could have predicted this but let us do our job and check him over, you get some rest he’ll need you later and it won’t do either of you any good if you’re not on top of your game,” she said gently.
The soldier felt deflated but knew she was right and shuffled off to find Anaya, the woman would be glad to see him after so long.
Two days, two days without any news had Bucky climbing the walls until his patience finally snapped and he stomped down to medical to see what was happening. Walking into the room he could see Shuri and her team gathered around a screen, they all looked very concerned and when the Queen spotted him she looked as if she wanted to hide from him which made Bucky’s stomach drop.
“Where’s Zemo? How’s his prognosis?”
There was no sense in beating around the bush he reasoned. Shuri was quiet so he pressed again finally she just shook her head and admitted things didn’t look good. Ayo and a small team had been trying to track down the elusive Dr Darnell without much success; it seemed as if the woman vanished into thin air and there was nothing showing that she even existed in the first place. Bucky folded his arms wanting her to get to the point which she was obviously dodging; Shuri thanked him for the information about the memory loss has it allowed them to pinpoint the damage. It was in the same areas that had affected Bucky however it was much worse for Zemo; the Sokovian didn’t have super soldier serum running through his veins.
“But you can fix him though,” he asked earnestly.
Shuri lowered her eyes to the floor and quietly murmured that she wasn’t sure, it was really bad; Bucky felt the room swirl, he leaned against a nearby desk once again guilt threatened to drown him along with a sudden grief. The soldier was surprised that he was mourning the loss of who the Baron was; no more sassy remarks, no more humming as he cooked moving gracefully around the kitchen, the clever confident annoying asshole that he had first hated was gone and all that was left was a Zemo shaped shell.
“If he’d been like me would he have been okay?” whispered Bucky.
“Probably,” shrugged Shuri.
A spark of an idea flared inside his mind; a terrible notion that would likely lose him the precious friends and stability that he had managed to claw out for himself from his blood soaked past. Shuri took the soldier’s silence has anguish she rubbed his back in comfort.
“You’re a good man Bucky even feeling sorrow for a man who caused you much pain. We will do more tests and ... hope for the best.”
Bucky just nodded letting the Wakandan Royal to drift back to her medical staff he straightened and glanced around, he spotted a nurse coming out of a room there was a fleeting image of the Baron sitting on a bed before the door was closed. Bucky felt his feet take him over to the private room, he took a deep breath and knocked, there was no answer not that he actually expected one and entered. Zemo was sat staring blankly out of the large window he didn’t acknowledge Bucky which saddened him, he moved slowly over to the bed and picked up the electronic chart hanging at the end, he quickly scanned the medical information and sighed with relief. This could work he thought then was jolted out of his reverie by the Baron screaming in fear at him, while he’d been daydreaming Zemo had realised someone was there and turned around. Bucky just managed to put the chart back before the door burst open with various members of staff. Shuri pushed through and scowled at Bucky for upsetting the Sokovian, he hurriedly apologised and ran back to his room. All he had to do now was to plan and wait, and wait he did until about three in the morning when an opportunity arose.
After a quick stop to the blood bank where he had effortlessly bypassed the security system and left with his ill-gained bounty although he tried to justify that he was just repossessing what was his, he crept through the dimly lit corridor to the main medical hub. The lights were turned down for the patients comfort and the centre kept minimum staff on at night. The nurse on duty stood gave a cursory glance around the room and headed towards the bathroom, Bucky slipped passed the man’s back and in to the centre where he made a beeline for the items that he needed; his past as a stealthy assassin came in handy has he quickly and more importantly quietly gathered the items that he needed. As he carefully shut the door he glimpsed the oblivious man come around the corner and back into the room; he paused pressing himself against Zemo’s hospital room wall listening, heard nothing to alert him that he’d been made so approached a sleeping Baron. Bucky carefully pulled out a syringe and had injected the contents into Zemo making the man slip further into unconsciousness, Bucky knew the gig would be up if the Baron woke up and alerted everyone to his presence. The super soldier paused and went through all the reasons why it was wrong to continue with his actions but looking at the Baron’s peaceful face steeled his resolve. Bucky quickly set up the makeshift blood transfusion then sat back to watch however he worried that the two bags wasn’t going to be enough and wondered if he should give Zemo some fresh from the source. As he watched his serum laden blood enter the Baron’s blood stream he silently prayed that it would help and hoped that Shuri would forgive him for this betrayal.
As the second bag neared the end he decided that he would indeed give Zemo another boost but in his hurry has he picked up the tube with needle connector he accidentally bumped the nightstand which knocked a vase of flowers over. Bucky froze and glanced towards the door which burst open after a few seconds later and the nurse looked at Bucky in confusion standing there in the middle of a transfusion.
“Er... hi,” said Bucky.
The man smacked the panic bar in the room and Bucky felt his shoulders droop has he knew the gig was up he quietly sighed and prepared for the inevitable.
Bucky lay staring up at the ceiling running through all the events that led him to be under house arrest and concluded that he wasn’t sorry, he did what he had to do to try and bring someone who he cared for back to themselves. Now that had been a shocking revelation, to realise that he actually cared for Zemo and that he felt a deeper connection to him, one that if the man ever regained his mind that he wanted to explore. However a very disappointed Shuri had him immediately confined to his room and had only said they were monitoring the Baron, the scant update and everyone’s silent treatment had him flip flopping between worry and sadness, anxiety and depression. It had been several days since he heard anything, Anaya had dropped off his lunch earlier but now came in to collect his empty plates has she hustled towards the door while his lay stretched in thought on the couch the door opened and in stepped Shuri. Bucky hastily sat up eager to learn of any new information, Shuri quietly thanked Anaya has she left the room before she looked back at him, her face an unreadable mask which dampened his mood. They remained in silence for several beats longer than was comfortable before the Wakandan Royal spoke up beating Bucky to the punch by a microsecond.
“You’ve got lucky,” she said dryly folding her arms. “Zemo’s mental faculties have begun to improve.”
“Really?” he asked hopefully.
“Yes but... I’ve had to explain to him what happened.”
Bucky felt his heart drop to his boots and his face must have shown his fear and apprehension as Shuri huffed and unfolded her arms.
“What did you think was going to happen? You know Zemo’s stance on super soldiers.”
“I just wanted to help,” Bucky mumbled.
“There are so many things you could have done including talking to me but you went behind my back that’s what hurts the most Bucky.”
Bucky nodded, tears silently pricking the corners of his eyes he knew what had been at stake but he’d still gone ahead with his crazy plan and was now reaping what he’d sowed.
They stood in silence for several seconds before Shuri broken the uncomfortable atmosphere.
“He wants to see you.”
Bucky’s head snapped upwards in shock and surprise.
“Zemo wants to talk,” the Wakandan clarified.
It was with a strange trepidation that Bucky approached the Baron, who sat on a stone bench on the medical centre terrace staring out at the Wakandan landscape. Bucky paused several feet away from him and stuck his hands into his jean pockets feeling awkward. Zemo who had being sitting in relaxed posture glanced at Bucky his hands automatically gripping the seat of the bench and tension entered his frame which had the soldier take a step back. The Baron visibly took a couple of deep breaths and forced himself to relax then gave Bucky a small self depreciating smile.
“Sorry, they did a number on me especially when it came to you,” he said calmly.
“Yeah I know how that feels,” Bucky replied, nodding.
“Although I am conflicted I don’t know whether to strangle you or hug you for what you did.”
“I’d prefer the hug but I understand if you don’t want to,” Bucky said softly.
Zemo smiled sadly and patted the bench next to him and Bucky sat down beside him. The Baron just watched the setting sun and they were quiet in thoughtful reflection.
“I was selfish,” began Bucky “I did what I did out of self interest.”
Zemo looked at him quizzically.
“I like having you around, it feels safe, I mean I know where you are and that you’re safe and well looked after or at least you were. I can talk to you when I want, you don’t demand anything from me or tell me to be something I’m not.”
“So I’m your emotional support animal,” the Sokovian smirked.
“Yeah I guess that sounds bad,” Bucky admitted.
“I think I too need support which is why I reached out to you, you are a good man James I think you understand the place where I was coming from also I’m genuinely sorry about how I used you.
“So we’re both using each other as an emotional crutch.”
Zemo nodded.
“I don’t think that is a bad thing like I said you’re a good man and I’m trying to become one.”
“I think you were in your own way you were just put in a situation that nobody could have predicted,” Bucky replied thoughtfully.
“You don’t have to be kind,” snorted Zemo.
“I’m not, I mean you had a family, from what I’ve seen you were a happy, loyal doting father then shit happened, shit happened to both of us and we lost part of ourselves.”
“We’re both damaged yet we know what the other needs to heal,” murmured Zemo.
“Exactly we understand each other and why I feel safe with you. Everybody keeps telling me that you’ll use me again but you won’t that anger and need for revenge has gone you’ve now grieved for your loved ones, you don’t need me anymore I’m just a spare part.”
Zemo nodded again.
“It is other people who cannot let go or move on from the past yet everything that has been thrown at us, we have in our own ways come out on the other side.”
“With this we can work together,” Bucky said softly.
“I would like that James, my memory is already beginning to recover although many faces still seem a blur I believe it will improve with time and you’ll be able help me get to grips with my new strength.”
“You only got a bit of my blood so don’t go thinking you can wrestle helicopters,” Bucky grinned to which Zemo gave him a quizzical look. “I tell you about it later.”
Zemo looked out at the reddening sky.
“I see why you like this place James it’s very beautiful.”
“Yeah you’ll find it’s a place of calm too”
“I could use a little of that.”
They both fell silent and watched has the sunset over Wakanda enjoying the comfortable silence between them.
