Chapter 1
He’s standing over the ledge,
Peter can’t help but notice just how different things look when he’s not swinging around the city
It’s not the same as when he’s sat eating a sandwich from delmars and admiring the view.
Everything’s different now though,Peter never would have thought he’d be standing on the ledge of a roof, preparing to jump,
But after everything that’s happened what else could he really do at this point?
The world didn’t need spider-man anymore ,
The world already lost Peter Parker.
So he’s standing over the ledge,
He could feel his hands shaking having to clench them shut, his knuckles turning white.
He took a deep breath
‘Just one step Peter, come on’
He thought to himself, over and over.
He’s already died once before, this should be easy, especially now that there’s really no one left that would remember him
It’s not as though he hasn’t thought of ending it before,
But back then he had a reason to stay,
The world needed him-
It needed spider-man.
No.
He thought it needed spider-man
But New York has vigilantes that looked after it now, He didn’t need to worry about leaving behind aunt may, or ned or MJ,
and god He missed them so much
He choked back a sob.
One step.
He just needed to take one step-
Another deep breath and he looked up at the sky. He had no reason to feel guilty, No one to leave behind
He looked down.
One step.
And he took it.
He felt the pull instantly, the air cutting through his hair, he suddenly felt grateful that he left his web-slingers up on the roof-top as he raised his wrists on instinct
This time he wouldn’t be able to catch himself, he purposefully chose a high enough building that his healing factor wouldn’t be able to kick in quickly enough when he hit the floor.
He was getting closer to the ground
He didn’t see his life flash before his eyes, nothing like that.
,He could hear the wind and his thoughts, nothing more
But as he neared the ground his thoughts began to change,
He thought of aunt may, uncle Ben, he thought of mr stark (and god wouldn’t he be heartbroken if he saw what Peter was doing)
And Peter was filled with a sense of guilt and shame.
Mr stark gave up his life because of Peter, and here he was just throwing it away
,but maybe he should be allowed this
, He’d spent so long doing the right thing-
Well trying to do the right thing
He’d been selfless, doing everything for the sake of others
,Shouldn’t he be allowed this one moment of selfishness?
Well
It was too late now anyways
He felt the moment his body hit the ground,
,The Searing hot white pain.
His vision blanked out and he could feel the way his bones contorted in ways they most definitely shouldn’t,
Could feel his lungs begin to fill with fluid and it wasn’t until he began choking up blood that he understood what it was
He felt like he was drowning, blood gurgling in his mouth.
and as much as he tried to claw at his throat, to try and get some air, to breath-
he couldn’t,
He knew for sure now.
He was going to die.
And he had been the one to do it
He would have laughed if it wasn’t for his own blood drowning him
He had always thought, ever since becoming spider-man that he would die from one of his ‘villains of the week’ or a mugger or any kind of criminal
But it wasn’t
It was him,
All him.
His eyes welled up and he choked as broken Chuckles and blood escaped his mouth
He laid still finally, a stale smile on his face and his eyes looking emptier than they ever had before.
He could feel his consciousness fading now as black dots danced across his vision, and he thought it might have been a trick of the light when he saw a slender shadow escape from the dark of the alleyway he laid in front of.
He stared lifeless at it before being enveloped by a cold embrace
Short snappy sentences being whispered In his ear.
‘Not your time’
‘Somewhere else’
‘Live’
They weren’t the same voice
What seemed to be hundreds of different voices whispered to him and eventually he felt the touch of a hand on his forehead,
What once could have been mistaken for comfort was now pure agony
The feeling of being ripped apart through his rib cage.
Then there was bliss
He was falling and he didn’t know where
He felt like lucifer, cast away from heaven despite only ever trying to help
What was supposed to be his escape was now his prison.
He continued to fall
Until there was nothing, darkness- no something else
It wasn’t darkness
It wasn’t colour
He couldn’t see
Or feel,
Or touch or hear or taste-
It was nothing.
Until it was something.