You Won't Be Satisfied (Until You Break My Heart)
Getting an invite from Peter was out of the ordinary. He never needed to, Wade was always the one to initiate, not that he minded. It was better than mulling around his apartment waiting for Spider-Man, thinking about what he would do to him again. Grabbing the hand next to him, Peter looked at him with a warm grin that made him look goofy. He preferred where he was right here.
Wade sensed the pep in Peter’s step as he walked beside him. Sinking into the casual way Peter held his arm in possession, walking into a dark venue and settling into a small booth in the back and off to the side. The subtle stroking of fingers on the sensitive skin of Wade’s inner palm, the sensation allowed his mind to slip away from the excitement of the venue around them. He watched Peter motor his mouth about facts he looked up about the artists, excited, getting the idea Peter did not spend his spare time with enjoyable activities. Wade “Mm”ed and “Ah”ed between replies, merely enjoying the soul of him.
When the lights finally dimmed, music sounded, and the crowd hollered briefly as low melodies swarmed throughout the air. Wade barely noticed the hypnotic vocals, distracted by Peter leaning closer, becoming snug and warm against him. In the dark, Wade found fingers to mingle with his. He could not help but steal looks of Peter watching the performance, processing, content. Sensing the eyes in him, Peter checked on Wade for a moment before returning, catching Wade’s lingering gaze.
The light highlighted the edges of his features, seeing a pleasant smile grow before him. Leaning and closing his eyes, a slight turn of his neck. Heat of warm lips sliding across his, like sunlight breaking through. Every kiss was as if it was the first time, never knowing it could feel like this, until he was reminded again and again. The play of hypnotic vibrations swept as if the song was coming directly from inside of him. As if all the pieces of him that were broken and missing led him right here to this moment with this man who put them back together. Shot through time and space to be right here next to him. Inciting passion allowed Wade to find him easily in the darkness as his hand lightly ran up the thigh squished beside him, feeding pent-up desire thickening at the touch of their bodies searching for the other.
Holding Peter close, his silhouette reciprocated the embrace as Wade maneuvered the body to succumb to his touch. Caressing the lean of the back of his neck, stroking the tender skin below his chin with a thumb. Trading hot breaths and tongues, the hitch in Peter’s throat when Wade stroked unbearable stiffness.
As the music swelled, so did his intentions. Compressed with heat, Wade reviewed Peter in the low light, the dark pupils and iris becoming one against the white. Peter looked back at him, sultry and needing him too much. Just how he liked it. A bite at Peter’s lower lip shook Wade to his core, not only in its familiarity but also in knowing what it was inspiring him to do.
Taking a perspired hand in his, Wade took Peter from their entrapment to lead him quickly along the wall past patrons and service members to the bathrooms. Barely able to contain the groping of his hands, his heart raced with the heat of his body rising like a fever he could not sweat out, now having Peter all to himself in a cramped stall.
Committing to memory the thrill of watching Peter slink distractingly onto the stainless steel toilet, with barely enough space for Wade to kneel and Peter unraveling jeans to expose his cultivated enthusiasm.
Giving. Oh, Wade was so giving. Overdue and rueful in showing Peter how much he meant to him. Delivering his lips to fervent throbbing. The moans above him were muffled by a hand, suppressing the sweet sounds still echoing against tiled walls. The other hand rested a loving grip on Wade’s forehead, sending chills up his spine.
Declarations from Peter’s pleasure became his own. Tightening his grip, bitterness gushed into his mouth. The strong legs under his arms shook with increasing intensity before guiding Wade to steady over him to take thick, jutting heat.
Peter tensed inside of Wade, stroking his tongue before attempting to be released and surprisingly halted. Wade opened his eyes only to find his vision blurred by a film. He swiped a hand at his face to meet with a sticky tangle between his fingers. Wade stared at the material, rubbing it between his fingers. Not a word rolled in his mind, unable to comprehend why he was looking at webbing.
Peeling his eyes up to Peter, he met a horrified expression that could rival his own. Trading silence, Wade moved quickly to pull Peter’s arm to him.
“Listen, wait!” Peter insisted.
Forcing through a rustle of resistance, Wade pushed up Peter’s sleeve and angled his wrist to his eyes, finding a swollen glistening node with thin glistening webbing still attached. Looking at Peter again, Wade was still not able to comprehend seeing this part of…on-
Taking Peter’s cheeks into his hands, Wade was met with an attempt to block him, but Wade held the face and reviewed Peter with wild eyes. In his grasp, Peter’s with his own, wide and fearful, while Wade ran his thumbs over those freckled cheeks and nose he knew so too well. Patterns he recognized, who they always reminded him of. Realizing who was staring back at him and watching him in every moment of weakness.
“I-it’s not what it-” Peter started, but the sound of his voice left him frozen, a voice he had heard countless times, seduced him with sweet nothings, moaned for him, and berated him.
Idiot.
A disgusted chill crept under Wade’s skin, recoiling his hands, as if seeing Peter as if for the first time. He could not find himself out of the small stall soon enough, leaving the echoes calling after him.
Wade’s feet moved foolishly, swift and embarrassed, from tile and down carpeted steps to the lobby until the city's noise matched the chaos inside of him. After a few steps, nausea swept over, urging him to dip into a dark alley and lean a hand heavily on the exterior of the building, Wade hunched and stared at the filth of the ground yet seeing nothing at all. His body disconnected from his mind yet experienced every palpitation and rush of humiliation escaping through his nerves in uncontrollable shakes. Hurried footsteps catching up alerted Wade with a revulsion firing through his esophagus.
“Wade, please, just let me explain,” Peter pleaded frantically, laying a hand on Wade’s shoulder. By instinct, Wade turned quickly to slap the hand away from him, catching the sight of a defensive fright. Even now, a worry coursed if he had hurt Peter. He hated to see that look on Peter’s face, being the cause of it, but a steady anger rose within him, targeted toward the person he had come to cherish.
“Don’t touch me,” Wade instructed sharply, clenching a hand to his mouth, the taste of Peter threatening to come up.
“It’s not what you think,” Peter attempted to justify.
“It’s not? What is it, then? What is this? What- How…” A myriad of questions raced through Wade’s head, not knowing where this all started. Looking to Peter for an explanation before turning away. He could not stand the sight of him. The more Peter spoke about his omissions, the more real the situation became. Interrupting, “Why are you doing this to me? Is this really happening right now?”
“Wade, please listen-”
“Shut up!” Wade could hear it when Peter spoke. How he sounded like him. Wade had been an idiot and knew that he was. “Shut up! Shut the fuck up!” Wade loathed being near Peter, becoming more tainted than he could have ever imagined himself to be. Not again, he thought. Unable to help the rampant connections dismantle every word, touch, and gesture he thought had been love, but it wasn’t.
Avoiding every centimeter of him, Wade walked past Peter in a hurry. Hearing Peter step after him and gather empty words that infuriated Wade. In a flurry turning to Peter on the sidewalk with a quick motion. “Stay away from me!”
He watched Peter step back, realizing how tightly his fists clenched, threatening the person he intended to protect. It scared Wade how much he wanted to hurt Peter. He knew he could, or at least try. He wanted to, but it would not make a difference, aside from inflicting the hurt upon himself.
Wade walked away. It was what he should have done. He could not bear the thought of actually hurting Peter, knowing where his betrayal truly set, and it was not the person he turned away from.