Lilith was most definitely paying attention to the movie. She had no idea what the title of the film was, but she was paying attention.
When Camila had first suggested a triple date Lilith hadn’t expected it to feel so… crowded.
Five minutes into the film and Ava had cuddled up into Beatrice’s personal space. Beatrice had merely lifted her arms and given Ava more comfortable accesss, as if this were an ordinary, every day, gesture. Lilith can still see them from the corner of her eye, Ava basically in Beatrice’s lap.
Ten minutes into the film and Mary and Shannon had left the room without any pretense, only offering a “Have fun kids” as they disappeared down the hall into one of the bedrooms.
It’s thirty minutes into the film now and Lilith still sits in the same spot, her back rigid against the couch and her hands clasped firmly on her lap. There’s a clamminess to them that she isn’t used to. Camila shifts beside her— there’s still a whole gap between them that may as well be an entire ocean at this point.
Lilith clenches her jaw once and tries to turn her focus back on the film (okay so she really isn’t paying attention but honestly who can blame her?) but she can hear a dissatisfied little sigh coming from beside her and it sends another twist of anxiety through her.
Focus, Lilith. You can do this. How hard can it be? If Beatrice can figure it out for God’s sake, it can’t be that difficult….
She clears her throat just as Camila says,
“Do you—“
Lilith looks up to meet Camila’s gaze just as a smile quirks upward on Camila’s lips. There’s a little dimple just at the right corner of her mouth that sends a flutter through Lilith’s chest. She doesn’t think she’ll ever get used to seeing Camila smile at her like that, a hint of playfulness in her eyes.
“Can I try something?” Camila gestures between herself and Lilith’s rigid form, her voice is low, barely even a whisper, but still her voice carries and Lilith sends a quick prayer of thanks to whoever is listening for the noise from the film. She glances quickly back at Beatrice and Ava but both seem preoccupied in the film— and mostly each other— to pay any mind to whatever is happening on her side of the room.
She offers a stiff nod and sucks in a sharp breath as Camila moves closer. Instead of going for her lap like she’s expecting though, Camila merely scoots in behind her and nudges her a little, directing her off the couch and onto the floor.
“What—?” She tries to look back, confused on the new direction this plan is taking. She wasn’t expecting to get kicked off the couch, and she has an indignant reply all ready, but Camila merely shushes her and directs her head forward. She places her hands on both sides of Lilith’s face and Lilith’s jaw snaps shut, the complaint dying in her throat.
Behind her she can feel Camila shifting again, settling in as she crosses her legs on the couch. Then Camila’s fingers are in Lilith’s hair and her brain stops functioning completely.
The world narrows, the film completely forgotten, as Camila combs through Lilith’s hair— gently at first, and then with more purpose when Lilith doesn’t pull away. Even Ava and Beatrice seem unimportant and far away, Lilith can only focus on the pads of Camila’s fingers brushing through her hair, her nails raking along Lilith’s scalp gently.
She isn’t sure how much time passes. It could have been an hour, or a life time. She tries to remember the last time anyone had just casually played with her hair, but her mind is blanking. When she was younger she supposed her nanny had done her hair, maybe even occasionally her mother, but never something as intimate as this. The gesture settles something in a hollow piece of her chest, something she hadn’t even known existed and for one mortifying moment Lilith is afraid she might actually start tearing up.
But the moment passes and eventually her rigid posture relaxes ever so slightly. She rests back against Camila’s legs and there’s comfort there too. The solid feeling of Camila behind her. She can’t put a name to it, but there’s something about knowing Camila is supporting her, and will support her, even if she doesn’t have it all figured out yet.
Eventually Camila’s fingers slow and then stop completely. She doesn’t remove them though. Instead she just lets her hands rest on either side of Lilith’s face again. She can feel Camila’s breath against her ear as she leans forward to whisper,
“Feeling better?”
Lilith can only offer a hum in response, too dazed to form a coherent thought. Camila’s breath ghosts against her ear again, sending goosebumps trailing along her neck, as she exhales out a quiet laugh.
“Would you like to join me on the couch again?”
Lilith nods, slowly willing her limbs to cooperate as she stretches and scoots back up onto the couch. Camila moves to scoot back over to her side but Lilith grasps her wrist instead. She doesn’t quite know how to fight the sudden impulse clawing at her chest, but she isn’t ready to break the close proximity between them yet. If Camila scoots back onto her side Lilith knows the moment will shatter. Selfishly she finds that she isn’t willing to give up Camila’s touch yet.
“Don’t… stay, please?”
The admission is uttered so quietly, it can’t even be considered a whisper really, and Lilith isn’t sure Camila heard her at all. But then Camila smiles, that same playful smile— like she can see the desperate need Lilith can’t fight against— and she settles into Lilith’s arms.
She suddenly understands now how easy is for Beatrice to open up to Ava’s touch. Lilith finds her arms opening on instinct, Camila sliding in between them easily as if she’d always belonged there. They settle back onto the couch, Lilith’s back against the arm and Camila lounging against her. In this position she can feel Camila’s breathing, her ribs expanding against Lilith’s touch, and there’s something truly extraordinary about this small, simple thing.
She’s definitely not paying attention to the movie now, and instead focuses on what she can see of Camila’s face, this close together now. She can only see the side profile, but still, it’s fascinating to her. Watching the minute changes in Camila’s expression, the way she smiles at something happening on screen, or the way her eyebrows draw together when she’s puzzled. Lilith is helpless to look away.
Eventually Camila’s eyelids droop and she lays against Lilith’s chest, her head tucking itself in the crook between Lilith’s shoulder and neck. She sighs— this one a sigh of content Lilith thinks— and smiles a little as she completely relaxes in Lilith’s arms.
The movie— whatever it was— is ending. Lilith can tell by the dialogue happening that things are being wrapped up. Her left leg tingles a little, it fell asleep a while ago while Camila was lounging against her, but she doesn’t complain. She doesn’t want to move either, too absorbed in the even breaths Camila is taking, that ghost along Lilith’s jaw.
She can feel a pair of eyes on her and she looks up to find Beatrice staring at her, a knowing smile on her face. She and Ava are tangled up in a similar position, with Ava’s mouth slightly agape, her head tucked against Beatrice’s shoulder. Without shifting Ava, Beatrice cocks her head to the side, her smile widening as heat flushes across Lilith’s face.
“Shut up.” She murmurs, glaring at Beatrice with as much intimidation as she can muster in this position. It doesn’t work. Beatrice only laughs, the sound barely jostling Ava— who doesn’t seem to notice.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to. It’s written all over your face.”
Beatrice laughs again, shaking her head slightly, just as Camila nudges Lilith with her elbow.
“Be nice.”
Lilith stiffens for just a moment but then relaxes again when feels more than sees Camila’s sleepy smile against her.
“She was teasing me first.” She hates the whine in her voice but Camila only laughs and then yawns, settling more closely against her. On instinct Lilith wraps her arms more tightly against her girlfriend, hesitating for only a moment before resting her chin on top of Camila’s head.
Silence settles the two pairs as the end credits start rolling. The music from the tv floats around them, comfortable and soft. Lilith closes her eyes, basking in the feeling of Camila’s body against hers. She’s softer than Lilith anticipated. But sturdy too, a comforting weight against Lilith’s own body.
“Happiness looks good on you.”
Beatrice’s voice startles her again out of her observations and she feels another rush of heat warm her neck and cheeks.
“I do make her look good, don’t I?” Camila’s response is mumbled, but there’s a teasing lilt to her tone and Lilith rolls her eyes.
“I’ll drop you if you keep going.”
The words are an empty threat, and Camila knows it. She only grins and settles impossibly closer, her lips just barely ghosting along Lilith’s neck. The touch makes her shiver and she finds herself smiling too, her head falling back against Camila’s curls.
Maybe movie night wasn’t such a bad idea after all.