Bucky
Bucky woke up on Sam's couch. He had been staying there with Sam for the past month now. He knew he had an apartment in the city but he just couldn't face memories of his misdeeds.
The crashing sound coming from the other room was probably Sam making a haphazard attempt at making pancakes again. “Fuck,” Bucky murmured as he got up to try and help (or stop) Sam from burning the house down (making pancakes).
“You know for a guy who is great at making food, you are shit at making pancakes” Bucky yawned, “It's odd.” Sam smiled, holding a box of pancake mix, and turned around to look at him, “Sarah usually makes breakfast so I guess I just never learned how.” Sarah (sam’s sister) was on a business trip for her new job (what that job is exactly Bucky couldn't remember off the top of his head)* and had left the kids at their aunties house so Sam and him had the house to themselves.
Bucky looks up from the counter to see Sam trying to reach the top shelf. “Short ass,” he mumbles, trying to ignore the fact that Sam’s shirt was riding up and exposing his skin. “What was that?” Sam spinning around. “Nothing,” Bucky looks down again trying not to blush. “Well mr. ‘I'm 6 '0” Do you mind giving me a hand?’** he says mockingly. Bucky smiles and detaches his arm. “You lazy piece of shit,” Sam murmurs as he grabs Bucky's arm.
He does manage to get the pancakes with the hand but he goes to a certain amount of effort to fuck around for a bit so that Bucky stays armless for longer. It gives him a sense of power. “Hey, is this a new arm?” Sam notices.
“Yeah” Bucky looks up again, “I think that fucking raccoon stole the last one. I don't know how but I know that slimy bastard was the one who did it.”*** Sam starts to chuckle. “What's so funny about that?”
“Nothing,” Sam says now, full on laughing. “Did you give my arm to that fucking trash panda?!”
“No!”
“Sam!”
“I did not!”
“I am going to kill you!!!!” Bucky exclaims getting up from the counter.
Sam wielded Bucky’s arm with one hand . Just as the phone started to ring. Sam grabs it with his free hand and immediately frowns. “What is it this time?” Shield. Of course it was Shield Bucky thought. Even since the avengers had disbanded, many more “villains” (usually just bank robbers and weird mutants) had been coming out of the woodworks. Sam skidded into the other room still on the phone working out the details of the mission, so Bucky grabbed his arm off the counter and went to get on his suit.
Sam is out on the lawn by the time Bucky steps outside. “Could you move any slower?” Sam says sarcastically. “Yes actually,” Bucky says as he starts dragging his feet. “Fuck it,” Sam runs up to Bucky and grabs him by the waist. Bucky tensed as sams wings deployed. He barely had time to think, not again, before they took off.
They were in New York City within 30 minutes. (I don’t give a flying fuck that Sarah lives in Louisiana) (for the sake of this she lives in Upstate New York).
When they got there the police are outside of the bank. “Why doesn’t shield just deal with this and leave us out of it?” Bucky asks. “Cause they're fucking off in space right now and just alerting us to what’s happing down here.” “Off in space? So they're just like watchers of the earth now leaving the bs to any super around the area?” “Yeah pretty much.” “You know I was joking right?” “Well I was no- ''. His sentence is cut off by the police shooting. They were shooting at a man seemingly jumping from the second story window of the bank onto the rooftop all the way across the street.
“Oh god is that the Leaper?” Sam says disappointedly. “The who?” “You know, the leaper.” “You don’t realize how recently I was undusted, who is that?” “The Leaper is this guy I used to see on tv a lot when I was back at the academy.” Sam says grabbing Bucky and taking off after this leaper guy. “His full name is like Bartac or something. He used to hit all the banks in New York until he was arrested. I think Spider-man was the one that brought him in.” They are now above Batroc and can see him leaping from building to building. “I honestly thought he was still in jail.”
…
“Fuck!” Bucky yelps as one of his punches misses and his fists connect hard with the concrete wall in front of him.
“Language!”
“What you put on the shield and suddenly you're Steve fucking rogers?!?!”
“Go fuck yourself”
“Language!” Bucky mocks. “Are you two done flirting cause I take my job too seriously for this shit.” Batroc the Leaper interjects. “Robbing banks isn’t a profession!” Sam says, swinging one of his wings. “Well it got me out of my student loan debt.” “Who were you in debt to? Professor X’s academy for the gifted?!” Bucky swings and manages to hit him (although he does little damage). “Hey fuck you robbing banks is an actual job!” Batroc yelps, falling off balance.
Although they managed to knock the Leaper over it took them another 20 minutes to get him off the roof and into police custody. “That should keep him off the streets for another 20 years.” Sam says to Bucky after they hand him off. “Hey screw you two, I’ll be back soon!” Batroc the Leaper yells as power damping handcuffs are clipped onto him and he is shoved into a police truck. “Excuse me Mr. Captain America,” sputtered a young reporter who had somehow gotten past the police. “Do you care to make a statement on what just happened?” She held the mic up to Sam. “Uhmmm….” “Help! I have never been interviewed before, what do I do?” he whispered to Bucky. “Just say something like we caught him and that if anyone wants to rob another bank in New York they are going to have to fuck with you.”
Sam turned back to the reporter, “This is not the first time that the Leaper has robbed a New York bank but hopefully thanks to the NYPD it will be his last. And if anyone wants to attack New York they are going to have to go through us.” he says pointing to Bucky and himself.
“Thank you.” the reporter says. “No thank you, for uh… you know… being a…” Sam blurts out. Bucky smiles to himself. “Just thanks!” Sam, embarrassed, grabs Bucky and takes off.
“Kiss ass,” Bucky mumbles into his ear.
“I am gonna drop you.”
…
“Fuck,” Bucky says collapsing on the couch.
“You say that too much,” Sam says, opening the fridge.
“Tell me when we get subjected to fighting C list villains. I mean I fought fucking Thanos!” Sam walks to the doorway of the living room holding a jar of peanut butter and a spoon.
“So did I but I am not complaining.” Bucky frowns and turns to look at him. Sam was still sweaty from the earlier fight and had half his suit off. Bucky’s face felt hot. Why did this keep happening? he thinks. “Don’t contaminate the peanut butter jar with your germs.” he says to Sam, trying to put the thought out of his head. “This is my house.” Sam flicks the spoon at him. “Your sister's house actually.” “Same thing.”
“Sure.”
“I am going to bed.”
“Sure.”
“Fuck off.”
“Never.”