The Field Trip
May 2005, Red Room, training room
“EXPMs 29 and 31, status.” A woman ordered. “EXPM 29; Asset the Spider, kill count 35,328.” “EXPM 31; Asset the Griffin, kill count 7.” “EXPM-31, why do you only have 7 kills? EXPM-29, why did your kill count increase so much?”
“I let EXPMs 29 and 30 do most of the killing, ma’am.” Ned replied. “The other bases decided I’m the best and sent me on many solo missions, handler.” Peter answered.
“EXPM-30, you are going to watch these girls. Anyone shows emotion, you shoot them.” She said, handing him a gun. She turned to Peter. “You are going to fight Bailey.” “To the death?” Bailey asked as she stood up. The woman nodded. Both people got into a battle position.
“Fight.” The woman ordered. Bailey went first, flipping Peter over. Another girl squealed as two stingers emerged from Peter’s wrists. The woman glared at Ned who aimed at the girl, shaking. Peter stabbed Bailey, paralyzing her. “You have to do it.” Peter told him calmly in Spanish. He nodded and shot the poor girl.
Peter spat at Bailey, his venom hitting her in the eyes. A few girls screamed as Bailey’s veins started turning an acidic black. Ned shot them. Everyone watched the life fade from Bailey’s eyes.
“EXPM 29; Asset the Spider, kill count 35,329.” “EXPM 31; Asset the Griffin, kill count 12.” “Dismissed.” The woman told the girls.
“Permission to ask a question?” Peter asked her. “Granted.” “Do you know where EXPM-30 is?” “She’s training in a Japanese Hydra base. Now, you both go back to your room. You are going to teach EXPM-31 French.”
—————
Present, Monday, homeroom
Pietro and Wanda entered as the bell rang. They gave Mr. Harrington their permission slips and slouched on their chairs.
“What happened to you? Busy planning how to prove you work there?” Seymour asked. “Iron man is in a coma. Morgan has been running us ragged. She’s either off the walls or crying and Ant man isn’t paying attention to his weapons so his daughter keeps getting the shrinking and growing weapons. We had to hide a life sized Barbie from the avengers. Do you know how hard that is?”
However, the real reason was that they were worried about their mom and the part where they could have a long-lost sibling somewhere.
Nobody caught the guilty expression on Peter’s face. “Did I go too far?” Peter asked in Chinese. “We’re going to cure him today, remember?” Ned replied in Arabic. Peter and MJ nodded.
“Alright everyone, the bus is here.” The teacher told them.
————
Stark Industries Lobby
“Hi everybody, my name is Stan Lee and I’m at the front desk today. That’s Mike and he’ll be your tour guide. You will also give him your phones.” Mike exchanged the phones and badges, skipping Wanda and Pietro.
“We have twelve levels. Level one is for guests like tour groups. They need to be with someone at least level five to go anywhere. Level two is for press and business people. The difference is they can access conference rooms. Levels three and higher can access floor 50 which is the cafeteria. Level three is for the interns. They can access the intern floors which are 3 to 15. Level four is for cafeteria workers who can only access the cafeteria and level five is for tour guides. It can access floors up to 50 and floor 71 which is Dr. Banner’s lab.”
“Level six is for scientists and they get access up to floor 70. Level seven is for the avenger’s children and they get access to floors 81-98 and 100. Level eight is for Loki and he has access from floors 89 to 100 because 81 - 89 are bedrooms and Loki isn’t allowed in anyone but his room. I don’t know why Loki has a room, don’t ask me.”
“Level nine is for the avengers’ adult family members like King T’Challa’s mother. They have access to levels 80 - 100. Level ten is for the non-science avengers and they have access to levels 79 - 100. Level eleven is for the science avengers and they have access to 71-100. I heard that floor 78 is the lab for the Princess of Wakanda. Level twelve is for Tony Stark and Pepper Potts and they have all access. A fun fact is that the Avengers gym is on floor 99.” Mike said.
He went through a scanner first. “Mike Johnson, Level 5: Tour Guide.” A voice said. Everyone who’d never been (other than Ned, MJ, and Peter) jumped. “That is Friday, the tower’s AI.” Mike explained to them.
Ned went first. “Ned Leeds, Level 1: Tour Group. Access tied to Mike Johnson for now.” Friday announced. Friday basically said the same thing with different names until Wanda’s turn.
“Wanda Maximoff, Level 10: Avengers’ Babysitter. Access tied to Mike Johnson for the tour.” Friday announced. Wanda sighed in relief as Pietro got the exact same thing.
—————
An hour later, Bruce’s lab
“Welcome to my lab, I’m currently making a machine that tells us your heritage based on DNA. I only have the DNA of the people who have been here in the last twenty four hours. Why don’t you all try it?”
Flash eagerly pushed everyone aside to be first. “Eugene Thompson, DNA is 100% human. No relatives in the system.” It spoke. “Oh, it’s on speaker so it reads it out loud.” Bruce explained to them.
The rest of the class went, excluding Wanda and Pietro, till the trio were the last ones. “Today please.” Mr. Harrington said.
“Michelle Jones. 50% Frost Giant, 50% human. No relatives in the system.” The class stood in silence. Peter took a deep breath and scanned himself.
“Peter Parker. 40% super soldier, 40% human, 20% spider. Mother is Natasha Romanoff and father is James Buchanan Barnes. Half siblings on mother’s side are Wanda and Pietro Maximoff.” Peter locked eyes with the twins, they were also shocked to find out Peter was their half brother.
“Ned Leeds. 50% radiated cells and 50% human. Relatives in the system: Bruce Banner, father.”
“Edward?” Bruce spoke softly. “I came home and the house was burnt. I thought you and your mother died.” “Mom did die in the fire, I was raised for the last ten years with MJ and Peter.” Ned said nervously.
“Excuse me, please continue on with the tour. I’m keeping these five here.” Bruce told the tour guide. He nodded. The tour group walked off.
“I’m going to take you to the penthouse for now.” Bruce explained to them. “Hey Friday, update their clearance to level ten for now.” “Done.”
————
Avengers floor
“Bruce, what’s going on?” Sam asked upon seeing the three teens. “Who are they?” “Friday, call everyone.” Bruce said softly. “Tell them it’s urgent.”
The whole team was there within five minutes. “Bruce?” Bucky asked him but Nat was frozen. “Peter?” She said softly and he nodded. The avengers were shocked, she had only ever used that tone with Wanda and Pietro. Bucky had an idea. “Status report.”
“The Spider, kill count 5,237,528.”
“The Griffin, kill count 638,927.”
“Frost Giant, kill count 1,539,728.”
They said instinctively. They looked at each other in panic. “No way.” Pietro breathed out. “That explains why I couldn’t read your minds. Wait-” She started. “Relax, we knew.” MJ said dismissively. “We knew all of it except for Peter being related to you two.”
“Wait, I’m confused.” Sam said. “She’s half frost giant, he’s my son, and Peter is Nat and Bucky’s son.” Bruce reveals to them.
“EXPM-29 was a success?” Bucky said as he processed it. Peter nodded. Scott turned to them. “What’s that?”
“Project EXPM-29 is a breeding project between the red room and Hydra. The project was to take the best of both and breed a new soldier. Asset was taken away from the mother after developing teeth and some genes were replaced with a spider’s to add more power. Asset had 500 kills by the third year since it was bred.” Peter recalled.
“Little spider.” Nat said softly to him in Russian. “You are not some animal that was bred. You are a person.” “Me and MJ told him that. We escaped four months ago.” Ned explained. “If you have spider genes, does that mean you are Spiderman?” Steve interjected, he had full motion back except for his arms and shoulders. The three nodded.
“Tony is dying. Can you cure him?” Sam asked. Peter nodded. “I didn’t think my venom would go that deep, I guess I overestimated his armor.” He said sheepishly. “Ned brought the cure. The plan was for him to sneak off and give it to him.” “I’ll take you to him.” Bruce said and guided his son away.
“So do you have trigger words?” Scott asked them. MJ narrowed her eyes but Peter nodded. “We could help you get rid of them.” Pietro offered.
Peter shook his head. “Dad got them when he was an adult, our brain was still developing when we got them. There’s no way to get rid of them without any permanent brain damage.” “I’m not a neurosurgeon, but that sounds pretty accurate.” Clint said as Bruce and Ned entered the room.
“Is Tony ok?” Wanda asked. “It’s too early to tell.” Bruce said, sighing. “As a person who has experience with it, I can tell you that he shows the normal signs of a full recovery. It’s a miracle he lasted this long though, a non-enhanced should have died within an hour of its contact with blood veins. The arc reactor slowing it is the reason the venom worked like he’s enhanced. An enhanced needs the cure within a few days or we would’ve had to amputate the infected veins.” Ned interjected.
The avengers sighed in relief. “Now kids, we have to tell you something very important.” Bucky started to tell in Russian. “We like talking in Russian to make them think we’re going to kill them.” Nat finished.
“How often does it work?” MJ asked curiously. “All the time.” Wanda replied to them. “Peter, I have an idea.” Ned announced. He turned to Sam. “I bet you twenty dollars that Peter can make you do the chicken dance.”
“Deal.” Sam retorted cockily. “You might want to record this.” MJ told them. “I will record it.” Friday echoed, sounding very amused.
Peter looked Sam in the eyes. “The next time Ned blinks, you will do the chicken dance until he blinks again.” Sam simply scoffed at him. Ned grinned and blinked at him. A few minutes later, Sam was still doing the chicken dance. “I think it’s time to stop him.” Bruce told his son. Ned pouted but blinked. “What just happened?” Sam asked, shaken. “Play the video.” Pietro called to Friday. The group watched again as Sam did the chicken dance.
“How!” Sam shouted. “I have a hypnotic gaze.” Peter explained as Sam handed Ned twenty dollars. “Where have you been living?” Natasha asked.
“In a mansion that Ned bought. I still can’t believe that you bought a mansion when we wanted to lay low.” MJ said to him. “Wait, who was with you on parent teacher conference day?” Nat asked as she remembered going in disguise to the event.
“Peter made an Artificial Intelligence named Helga that can go into a female robot body that has the alias of May Parker. Helga stands for Highly Essential Legal Guardian Android.” Ned explains to them.
All of a sudden, thunder sounded. Thor and Loki came on the elevator. “Heimdall has informed me that someone in this room spoke of being a Frost Giant. My brother wanted to come to see who the other Frost Giant is.” Thor announces to them.
Everyone turned to Michelle and she rolled her eyes. “Michelle Jordan Lokidaughter at your service, but you can call me MJ. I’m the god of logic and ice.” She told them. The room froze. Ned and Peter just shrugged.
“I have a daughter?” Loki asked, barely processing it. MJ nodded. “Where have you been?” He asked. “Hydra.” She answered. “I was raised with Ned and Peter.”
“I’m Peter Romanoff-Barnes.” “Edward Banner, but I go by Ned.” “Welcome to the family, young Lokidaughter!” Thor announced.
“We’ll ask Tony if you can move in with us. Michelle can move onto Wanda and Shuri’s floor while Ned and Peter move to my floor.” Pietro said excitedly.
“We’ll have to ask Tony.” Sam said, still grumpy about losing the bet. “Why would Banner-son and Barnes-son need permission to sleep here? Wait, is Barnes-son related to Romanoff-son and Romanoff-daughter?”
“Yes. He’s our half brother. And how many times do we have to tell you, call us Wanda and Pietro.”
“Friday, update Tony and tell him that they live with us now.” Nat practically growled. “Boss says it’s all good, but he might not remember since he is under the effects of anesthesia.”
“Wait Friday, has our class left yet?” Ned asked in a panic. “They’re almost done with the tour.” She stated. “Tell them to go to floor 18.” Nat commanded and took the five teenagers to the elevator. “You are going to hypnotize them.” She told Peter.
—————
Floor 18, conference room
The class waited awkwardly. “Do you think this is about Ned being Bruce’s son?” Betty wondered as the elevator dinged.
Five of their classmates walked out with the Black Widow behind them. “Is that Natasha Romanoff?” Liz whispered and Harry shrugged.
Peter looked at all of them. “Dr. Banner’s machine said I’m Pietro and Wanda’s half brother. Dr. Banner took me and my friends upstairs because he wanted to meet their babysitters’ half brother and his friends.” He informed them. They processed that for a second.
“So are you done babysitting?” Flash sneered. “Actually, I already informed all of their guardians that I’m keeping these five. Bye.” Nat said and walked out of the room.