“Rogue was right.”
It was a thought that came out of nowhere, one Wednesday morning while Erik made his coffee. He didn’t even know why it came out, he wasn’t paying attention to his own head, but, thinking about Rogue wasn’t as annoying as it once was.
At least not in the same way it used to bother him.
As it is, she’s not the issue. His poor management skills in personal relationships and the consequences is.
Erik was used to not be proud of how he has treated a lot of people, but with Rogue, things were way worse. He crossed the line with her more than once. He did that to Charles too, but there was a very notorious difference: He never used Charles’ insecurities to get something from him, at least not knowingly.
Why was he like that?
Every time he and Charles drifted away, he immediately went out there and looked for somebody else, whoever it was, just to fill the gap Charles always left.
Why didn’t he know how to be alone?
The first time he and Rogue started a relationship, they were broken and trying so desperately to just run away from their pasts. A relationship like that wouldn’t last, yet, like the fools they were, tried anyway. Back then, she didn’t have friends or someone that really cared about her. And he didn’t care that much about her wellbeing, as much as he wanted to deny it.
Luckily, they never did more than occasionally kiss, because deep in their minds, they both knew neither of them wanted that relationship to work. It was as if they both were using each other just to forget the world out there and the complications that came with it.
When they parted ways, there were no real tears. Just the ones shed over sky castles.
Then, they saw each other much later in life. He ignored Rogue completely as he focused in Charles. Always his Charles. And she was too busy smiling and flirting with Remy. Always her swamp rat. The poor woman had a certain affinity for lost causes, but at least, it seemed the thief did want to be better for her. And she seemed so much better with him.
When everyone thought Charles was dead, she decided to acknowledge him again, and Erik made the severe mistake of wanting to look for Charles in Rogue.
He knew she wasn’t looking for anyone’s touch, yet, instead of being a responsible man and tell her “hey, you don’t want this, you are yearning for Remy's touch”, he took advantage of that and made her believe she belonged with him and no one else.
Fortunately for Rogue, at a last minute, she realized she wanted Remy. She realized that one of Gambit’s looks was worth more to her than the thousand kisses she could give to Erik. Even the first (and last) one she gave him in Genosha was... not ideal.
Everything after that moment did nothing but to remind Erik time after time that Rogue would never be what he wanted, no matter how much he tried to make her his way. And how would her? He didn’t even called her by her name, it was very clear that he liked her more as a mutant than as a person. If he ever thought about her as a person at all.
Maybe that’s why, when she told him that there were things deeper than skin, the blow to the heart wasn’t as hard as it could have been. Because he knew that so goddamn well. It was in plain sight for anyone that cared enough to see.
When Rogue smiled, he thought it was cute. But when Charles did, he would feel on cloud nine for the rest of the day and some times, even for the week.
“Rogue was right.”
The idea had already permeated his mind and he accepted it, embraced it with open arms, because he knew his heart would beat hard when Charles was in his arms, but would stop and freeze in a blissful moment every time he would call him for one of his names. Rogue barely called him Erik. Charles would taste every letter as he pronounced them. Sometimes Erik, some others Magnus, even Max. There was no way to compare.
He really was an idiot for trying to turn Rogue into something she was not.
Damn, she even knew he loved Charles way before he himself noticed it. Erik wished he didn’t ruined things between them because she could have been an excellent friend. One who truly understood the depth of his beautiful and complicated relationship with Charles.
Rogue was right.
“Should I be jealous?” Charles asked as he entered the kitchen. Erik just smiled.
“Should I be jealous that you still talk to Lilandra via telepathy?” Erik said, getting closer to him.
“It’s not the same. Shi’Ar have no idea how cell phones work, and I won’t carry around one of their devices.” Charles said, putting his arms around Erik’s neck. “So, what was Rogue right about?” Erik sighed, he never really told Charles any details about everything that happened the night Genosha fell.
Putting his arms in Charles’ waist, he began to talk. "When she rejected me that night, Rogue said something…” Erik stopped, trying to look for words that could describe the moment, to his utter disgrace, he had none. Charles just looked at him with expectation. “Something about things being deeper than skin.”
“And she is right, yeah." Charles said almost immediatly. "I still don’t know how to feel about that. The whole you and her thing. I know you all thought I was dead, but… did you really think that would have lasted?” While harsh, Erik knew Charles was right.
“No. To be honest, I wasn’t thinking at all. It was my way to cope with…” Erik’s eyes reddened, Charles didn’t need to hear more. There was a lot to heal despite the apologies and the years gone by.
“It wasn’t healthy or good, but I understand, both of you. I have my fair share of stupidity trying to run away from my feelings.” Charles sighed as Erik held him tightly, wanting to enjoy having the telepath in his arms.
Charles exhaled happily, getting comfortable in Erik's arms. “I guess Rogue wanted this with Remy. She was so focused on what she couldn’t do, that she didn’t enjoy everything else they had.” Erik nodded, that was exactly what happened.
“I can’t enjoy anything else if it’s not with you.” Erik didn’t need to say it, Charles knew, for Erik’s mind and body always told him. Erik knew it too. The brush of Charles’ fingers wasn’t as intoxicating as the moment their eyes met and Charles gave him one of his so annoyingly attractive smiles, his bright blue eyes pleading Erik to take the next step.
“Yeah, I too noticed I can’t enjoy anything else without you.” Charles said and Erik stepped back enough to look at him. “Death Bird wanted to get my mind erased to prove I was worthy of the throne.” Erik looked away for a moment as he heard that. “I searched for thousands of excuses to refuse, but my one and only reason was… you”.
“Is that why you came back to earth?” Charles nodded, smiling warmly at Erik. There’s a lot that hasn’t been said about those days. “Lilandra and I work a lot better as just friends. No empires and star-crossed drama.”
Erik sighed and kissed Charles’ forehead, making the telepath giggle.
“I must say, you would have looked a lot better as King of Genosha than a Shi’Ar emperor” At that, Charles blushed.
“Better than Rogue?” He asked jokingly, making Erik laugh.
“Rogue could be a better King than you and I together.”
“Fair enough. We can leave her in charge and escape together for a while.”
“You are a genius.” Erik whispered as Charles caressed his cheek, silently asking for a kiss.
Rogue was right, he knew that for sure.
Rogue was right because what made Erik’s hear flutter wasn’t the kiss, but the fact that Charles asked for it.
Rogue was right because having Charles in his arms wasn’t as satisfying as spending the night awake, hearing him talk.
Rogue was right because even if anyone could touch his skin, only Charles was able to touch his heart.