What Will Be Will Be
En Dwi had chosen a booth by the window. Easy to be seen, easy to be photographed. He wanted people to see that they were talking again. Tony would find out. Then again, if the meeting was going to go how Loki was thinking it was going to go, Tony would find out anyway. He’d find out, he’d be disappointed, but maybe he’d stick around to watch the inevitable fire.
“Lo-Lo!” En Dwi grinned when he saw them. “Got you a black coffee. Take a seat! You look amazing.”
They knew that. They made sure that they looked good. A black shirt, green check trousers and a gold and green smoky eye. They looked fantastic, but when didn’t they? They sat down opposite En Dwi, watching him closely. His smile was the pointer that he knew he was going to get his own way. Loki wasn’t stupid, they knew that he was going to.
“What do you want?” They asked.
En Dwi raised a brow. “Not in the mood to chat?”
“No.” They crossed their arms. “What do you want?”
En Dwi laughed. “You’re about as intimidating as a duckling, Lo-Lo. It’s cute, really.”
He slid some papers across the table. One look at it and Loki knew what was going on. It was funny, really. Before En Dwi had gone after Tony, they’d been thinking about signing with him again. They were considering it. Even when they found out that En Dwi had been behind the drug test, they didn’t care. They would’ve signed with him. After how upset Tony was about the article? Loki had never wanted to do something less in their entire life.
They flicked through the contract, reading it as closely as they could. They knew that they didn’t have much of a choice, that they had to sign it there and then. It would’ve been nicer to have had a lawyer read it, but was it worth it? Nothing out of the ordinary jumped out at them. It was just a normal, boring contract.
“What’s stopping you from publishing those articles anyway?” They asked.
“Your behaviour,” he replied without missing a beat. “I’m sure this is just a lapse, though. You’re going through so much stress, Lo-Lo, with Mobius dumping you and all.”
“And who’s fault is that?”
En Dwi seemed caught off guard for a second, but his smile quickly returned. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Okay, so Loki wasn’t meant to know about that. En Dwi never usually cared about who knew what misdeeds he’d been up to, he normally bragged about it. What made that so different? Or were they looking into it a bit too much?
“I don’t want to be near any form of drugs at any point,” they said, “if I’m auditioning for jobs, then they’re that. Not secret, private meetings, and I don’t want you anywhere near Tony.”
En Dwi was quiet for a moment before he nodded. “Got it. That’s all fine.”
Loki hesitated before they picked up the pen. God, all they’d wanted for so long was to be back with En Dwi, to have the career they once had. Hearing Tony cry on the phone changed everything. How would he react? Would he be upset? Angry? Would he stay with them? Or would it be the final straw?
They signed the contract and slid it over to En Dwi, who took it with a grin. He looked over the pages before he slid them into his bag. “Great. I’ve got a few jobs lined up for you that don’t interfere with your schedule. Isn’t that nice? May as well finish the show, considering it’s so close to being done. Then there’s London Fashion Week again, then you’re off to Milan, then Paris. I’ll send you all the details later. Ah, isn’t this so exciting?”
En Dwi left before Loki could reply. Fuck. A part of them hated how excited they got at the mention of doing fashion weeks again. God, they hadn’t done Paris in so long. Would they be doing the two of them, or just the men’s? They hated that, but what could they do? They hadn’t mentioned anything about their gender and how they preferred to deal with it in such a gendered industry. Hell, they barely knew themself. It just didn’t sit right with them that En Dwi hadn’t even asked. Hell, even Milan was a men’s fashion week. Well, at least transphobic comments would be minimal at those two.
Loki chuckled bitterly as they sat back in the chair. Happy one year clean, they thought to themself. What better way to celebrate?
———
Loki ended up at the theatre early. They couldn’t be at the house. They couldn’t deal with the silence. They sat on the floor of the dressing room, phone in hand. They’d tried phoning Tony, but they didn’t get an answer. They had to tell him before the news broke. They couldn’t let him find out online, that would’ve been horrible.
When their phone lit up, instead of it being Tony like they’d hoped, it was someone working for En Dwi with a schedule. They took a quick look at it, and yeah, En Dwi knew that they’d get Loki signed again. There was no way he’d planned it all in the span of an hour.
May 22nd - Armani shoot
May 23rd - Fendi AM, Chanel PM
May 24th - Gucci ad
May 25th - Prada event
May 26th - Saint Laurent shoot
It went on. And on. And on. It reminded Loki why they started doing coke in the first place. They’d be exhausted, especially with shows factored into it. The day after they finished Cabaret, they were due at London Fashion Week for Burberry. At least that would be fun. When were they meant to see Tony? There was a week between the Paris weeks, considering the schedule confirmed that they were doing both. That was only a month later than what they were meant to fly out, but what could they do?
At least they wouldn’t be in the house much. Considering they had to be up at six the next day for the Armani shoot, they wouldn’t have to spend much time in the house. God, they’d barely be there. It felt so suffocating when it was empty, and the schedule was a welcome distraction.
They tried phoning Tony again, but it went straight to voicemail. Did he know already? Did he know that it was their fault that the article went out? Fuck. They sent a quick text, just an apology. What else could they do? It was all their fault that they were in that mess.
Brunnhilde seemed to get the message that something was going on, if the side eyes were anything to go by. She kept her distance, but Loki knew her. She wouldn’t pounce until after the show. They were right. Once she was out of costume, she was in their dressing room. She was quite predictable in her ways.
“What’s going on?” She asked.
They raised a brow. “Does anything have to be going on?”
“Well- Tony’s back in New York, and you’re literally sat here like a lost puppy,” she said. “And photos of your cafe meeting have gone out. You signed something.”
They paused. “Is it obvious in the photos?”
“Really fucking obvious.”
They really had to get ahold of Tony. “The article about Tony last night was him.”
Brun frowned. “Because you went out with Carol?”
They hesitated. “Yeah. He realised that I don’t- I mean, my reputation can’t get any worse. Why should I care about mine?”
“You realise that you can get the contract voided if he made any threats, right? You signed it under duress,” she said.
They shook their head. “I don’t have any evidence, and how much worse will it get if I do that? It’s fine. Honestly. I just- I need to tell Tony before he finds out, but he won’t answer his phone.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for,” they said. “Honestly- it was always going to end up like this. I just- I should’ve just signed sooner rather than let Tony get dragged into it. The chat with Carol helped a lot, though. I don’t regret it.”
She smiled a little. “I’m glad. She’s pissed on your behalf about all of this. Do you want to come over ours tonight?”
They shook their head. “I think I just need to be alone tonight. Thank you, though. I really appreciate it.”
“Door’s always open, Lackey,” she said before she headed out.
They took a deep breath as they sat back in their chair. Still no word from Tony. He’d find out. Maybe from articles online, but maybe then he’d actually pick up his phone. It was fine. Whatever will be will be, they told themself. Que sera, sera. Frigga used to sing that to them whenever they couldn’t sleep. They couldn’t help but smile at the memory. What they’d give to go back to those times.
They headed back to the house, put Saw 4 on and curled up on the sofa with a cup of coffee. A movie and a dark room was the exact way they needed to celebrate being a year clean again. They couldn’t face much else, but they wanted to at least do something nice. A distraction, really. They knew they wouldn’t be able to sleep without talking to Tony, and they didn’t completely trust themself to be okay in the quiet. Despite that, they were the calmest they’d been in a while. At peace, almost. In a weird way, they weren’t fretting about the future.
Whatever will be, will be.