Chapter 5
It only took a day for Gwen to realize one big flaw with keeping Felicia away from Miles. There was nothing she actually COULD do. Short of telling Miles he couldn’t hang out with her(which she would never do) or pushing Felicia down a flight of stairs(which she would also never do…maybe. Definitely not! MJ wouldn’t let her anyway.)
So, she decided to focus on confessing her feelings to Miles. The problem was that words always failed her, no matter how hard she tried. She couldn’t express what she felt.
But as she lay awake in bed one night, listening to love songs to soothe the ache in her chest, an idea sparked in her mind. If she couldn’t tell him directly, she could show him through a song! It would give her the creative outlet to express her emotions without the pressure of a face-to-face confession.
With renewed determination, Gwen sat up, grabbed the old guitar sitting in the corner, and started jotting down lyrics. She spent hours trying to craft the perfect lines.
Each night, Gwen worked on the song. She poured her heart into it. It became her solace, a way to channel her fears, hopes, and dreams into something beautiful. The exhaustion from sleepless nights was worth it if it meant she could finally convey her feelings to Miles.
She worked tirelessly on it and suddenly, the dance was only three weeks away. The days had blurred together as she fine-tuned every note and lyric, staying up late into the night.
It was now Friday, and they had the day off from school. Gwen was in her room, strumming her guitar and hitting her drums, tweaking the song, when she heard a knock on the door. MJ burst in, her face lit up with excitement.
“Gwen! You won’t believe this,” MJ exclaimed, flopping onto Gwen’s bed. “The school wants the Mary Janes to play at the Winter Homecoming Dance!”
Gwen’s eyes widened in surprise and excitement. “Are you serious? That’s amazing!”
MJ nodded enthusiastically. “Yep! It’s a huge deal. We’ll have to practice a lot, but it’s going to be so much fun.”
As MJ talked about the upcoming dance, her eyes fell on a notebook filled with lyrics on Gwen’s desk. Curious, she reached for it, but Gwen quickly snatched it away.
“What’s that?” MJ asked, raising an eyebrow.
Gwen blushed, holding the notebook protectively. “It’s... it’s nothing. Just some lyrics I’ve been working on.”
“Since when do you write lyrics?”
“It’s…a recent venture.”
“Cool! Can I see it?”
“No!”
MJ was taken aback by her yell. “Geez. There’s no need to get so defensive. Just wanted to see what my bandmate and best friend was working on.”
Gwen hesitated for a moment before reluctantly handing over the notebook. “Okay, but promise you won’t laugh.”
MJ took the notebook and began reading through the lyrics. As she did, her eyes widened with appreciation. “Gwen, this is really good!”
“You think so?”
“Yeah. Although, I do have one question though.”
MJ looked up at Gwen with a knowing look. “Is… this about Miles?”
Gwen nodded, her cheeks turning pink. “Yeah, I couldn’t find the words to tell him how I feel, so I decided to write a song instead. I’m planning to give the lyrics to him.”
MJ looked up from the notebook, her face filled with pride. “Gwen, this is amazing. The song is beautiful. I'm so proud of you.”
Gwen felt a mix of relief and gratitude. “Do you think Miles will like it?”
“Absolutely. This song is going to knock his socks off!”
Just then, someone knocked on the window.
“Ahh!” the two screamed. Looking over, they saw Hobie standing out on the fire escape, smirking.
“Jesus, Hobie!” Gwen yelled, walking over and lifting up the window so Hobie could enter. “You scared the crap out of us!”
“Yeah, dude! What are you even doing here?” MJ added.
Hobie, his laid-back demeanor not at all affected by the girls’ gripes, answered, “Hey, Gwendy, MJ. Just wanted to see how my drummer’s songwriting’s goin’.”
“Your drummer?”
“Yeah.”
“Since when is she your drummer? She’s in a band already! My band.”
“She doesn’t believe in consistency.”
Gwen groaned as MJ kept arguing with Hobie, who was clearly enjoying antagonizing her.
“Hobie, stop messing with MJ. And the song is great! I finally finished it last night. Thanks for helping me figure out the rifts for the bridge.”
“Anytime.”
MJ looked up, surprised. “Hobie, you’ve been helping Gwen with the song?”
Gwen nodded, smiling at Hobie. “Yeah, he’s been a huge help.”
Hobie grinned, leaning against the doorframe. “Just lendin’ a hand where I can.”
Before they could continue, Gwen’s phone rang. She glanced at the screen and saw Miles’s name. Her heart skipped a beat as she answered, trying to sound casual.
“Hey, Miles.”
“Hey, Gwen,” Miles’s voice came through the line. "I was wondering if you're free tomorrow night? The Harlem Music History Museum finally reopened, and I thought it’d be cool if we went together. What do you think?”
Gwen’s heart raced. It sounded like he was asking her on a date, even though she knew that wasn't his intention. It took her a moment to respond.
“Um, yeah, of course! That sounds great.”
“Awesome! Meet you there around noon?” Miles asked.
“Yeah, see you then,” Gwen replied, her voice slightly breathless.
As she hung up, MJ and Hobie exchanged knowing looks.
“This is perfect!” MJ exclaimed. “You can give him the lyrics on your date!”
Gwen blushed. “It’s not a date,” she mumbled, but the excitement in her voice was undeniable.
MJ grinned and quickly ripped the lyrics page from the notebook. “Here, give this to him at the end of your... not-date.”
Gwen took the page, feeling a mix of fear and anticipation. "Okay…I'll do it!”
Hobie nodded approvingly. “Good on ya, Gwendy. Just be yourself."
MJ patted her on the shoulder. "I'll come over tomorrow and help you get ready!”
“Get ready?”
“Yeah. You can’t go dressed the way you normally do. You need to spice it up a bit for your date!”
“It’s not a date!!!”
The next afternoon, the sun was high in the sky, casting a bright, crisp light over the Harlem Music History Museum. Despite the clear weather, a chill hung in the air, typical for a December day. Miles stood outside, bundled in his green jacket, waiting anxiously. He shifted from foot to foot, glancing at his phone and then back up the street.
“Gwen is never this late. I hope nothing happened.”
As he looked up again, he saw Gwen walking toward him. His eyes widened in surprise. She wore a black wool coat with silver zippers and buckles. Underneath, she had on a dark, cozy sweater dress paired with thick leggings and knee-high combat boots. She completed the look with a knitted beanie, a scarf wrapped around her neck, and a small shoulder bag. In short, Gwen looked stunning.
Miles couldn’t help but stare, taken aback by how beautiful she looked. Gwen noticed his gaze and blushed, feeling both self-conscious and pleased. “Hey,” she greeted him with a shy smile.
Miles finally snapped out of his daze and smiled back. “Hey, Gwen. Wow, you look... amazing.”
Gwen's blush deepened, and she looked down, a bit embarrassed but happy. She had been really worried when MJ insisted on this being her outfit. It definitely wasn’t her usual style. Hell, the dress wasn’t even hers. It was MJ’s. Gwen was adamantly against wearing it, but MJ insisted. And considering the look on Miles’s face, Gwen was glad she had.
“Thank you.”
They stood there for a moment, the air filled with an awkward but pleasant tension. Gwen broke the silence, looking up at the museum entrance. “So, why did you want to come here today?”
Miles’s expression softened, and he took a deep breath. “Well… Uncle Aaron was supposed to take me Before…well, you know. He always said we’d visit when they finished the renovations. But we never got the chance.” He paused, looking at the building with a mixture of sadness and determination. “I hadn't been able to bring myself to visit without him. But when I saw it was opening again after almost being closed permanently, I knew I had to come.”
Gwen felt a pang of empathy and reached out, grabbing his hand and squeezing it tight. “I’m glad you did. And I’m really glad you invited me.”
Miles looked down at their hands, then back at Gwen. His eyes were filled with gratitude.
“I’m glad you’re here too, Gwen. It means a lot to me.”
They stood there for a moment, just holding hands and sharing the quiet connection between them.
Finally, Gwen squeezed his hand once more and smiled. “Ready to go in?”
Miles nodded, his grip on her hand tightening briefly before they both turned to walk toward the entrance. Stepping in, they were greeted by the sounds of a DJ playing music. It wasn’t too loud, just enough to provide a nice ambiance. And the place was filled as people strolled around to gaze at the various exhibits.
“Where should we start?” Gwen asked. Miles gazed around in thought before he began pulling her in one direction.
“This way!”
As they walked through the Museum, Gwen and Miles marveled at the rich history displayed in the exhibits, which were filled with artifacts, photographs, and stories.
Miles often paused to explain things to Gwen, sharing details about the people and events showcased.
“I remember Uncle Aaron and even my Dad telling me things about this,” Miles said, pointing to a display about the Harlem Renaissance. There were so many cool sounds being produced: jazz, Blues, Gospel, even the early forms of Hip-Hop!”
Gwen smiled at Miles's passion. As they moved to another exhibit on famous jazz musicians, Gwen decided to surprise him by sharing some facts of her own.
“Did you know that Duke Ellington was a major influence on modern jazz? His compositions were groundbreaking at the time, blending classical music with jazz rhythms.”
Miles looked at her, impressed. “I didn't know you knew so much about jazz.”
Gwen shrugged, blushing slightly. “Just because I’m a punk rocker doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate other genres.
“I guess I underestimated you, Stacy.”
Gwen laughed softly, feeling a warm flutter in her chest. “I guess you did, Morales.”
Chuckling, They continued exploring, enjoying the exhibits and each other's company. They stopped at a section dedicated to Louis Armstrong, and Miles turned to Gwen with curiosity. “So, what got you into jazz?”
Gwen hesitated, feeling her cheeks heat up. She looked away, her voice a bit shy. “Well, it was... you.”
Miles blinked, surprised. “Me?”
Gwen nodded, glancing at him with a small smile. “Yeah. You used to talk about jazz a lot, especially when you were drawing. And how it was a big influence on Hip Hop too. You always seemed so passionate about it, and it made me curious. So, I started listening to some of the artists you mentioned. I guess it kind of grew on me.”
Miles looked touched, his expression softening. “I had no idea.”
Gwen shrugged, trying to play it off casually. “Well, now you do. It’s pretty cool stuff.”
Miles smiled warmly at her before something behind her caught his eye. Grinning, he grabbed her hand again and started to pull.
“Check this out!”
Encased in glass was an old drumset. Reading the info card told Gwen that these belonged to Clyde Stubblefield. There was a small speaker right next to it, faintly playing some of his music.
“Man, Uncle Aaron used to sample him all the time,” Miles recounted fondly.
“It makes sense. It’s pretty funky.”
“Right!? It’s so dope!”
After spending another hour there exploring, the two left the museum, emerging out the front door to a still-bright afternoon.
“Thanks for coming with me, Gwen,” Miles said, smiling. “I really appreciate it.”
“Of course! I’m always happy to spend time with you.”
A light dusting of pink appeared on Miles’s cheeks. “Well, uh… in that case, want to go grab something to eat. My treat.”
Gwen beamed. “That sounds great! And I know just the place.”
20 minutes later, the two were in a corner booth of their favorite pizza place, ordering a large pizza to share. As they waited for their food, they continued to talk, reminiscing about old times.
“Remember that time in freshman year when we all decided to build a snow fort in the park?” Miles laughed, shaking his head. “We thought we could make it big enough to fit all of us inside, but it turned into an epic snowball fight instead.”
Gwen grinned, her eyes lighting up with the memory. “Yeah, MJ and Peter tried to build a barricade, but we totally ambushed them! I think that was the first time we all really hung out together outside of school.”
“Yeah. And you hit me right in the face with a snowball!”
Gwen laughed. “You deserved it! We were teammates until you decided to dump snow down my back.”
“That was different!”
“How?”
“....ok, it wasn’t different.”
“Aha!”
The pizza arrived at that moment, and they dug in, enjoying the delicious, cheesy slices. A notification lighting up her phone caught Gwen’s attention, and she cheered when she read it, piquing Miles’s interest.
“What’s up?”
“The Mysterios are gonna be here next month!”
Miles rolled his eyes and chuckled. “I can’t believe you still listen to them.”
“Ok, I know they aren’t the greatest band around, but they’re still good.”
“You only like them because of their drummer.”
Gwen blushed. “Okay, Jessica Drew is like the best drummer ever! But that’s not the only reason I like them. I appreciate their guitarists, too, and Quentin Beck is a good lead singer, despite some of his…weirder tendencies.”
Miles just laughed, which made Gwen pout.
“Stop laughing. You went to one of their concerts last summer with me, remember?”
“I do remember. But, that wasn’t because I wanted to.”
“Huh? But you said yes the second I asked you.”
“That’s because MJ told me your Dad wouldn’t let you go by yourself. And no amount of begging would make her go with you. I knew how badly you wanted to see them, so I went with you.”
Gwen couldn’t help but melt a bit on the inside. He said it so nonchalantly as if it wasn’t a big deal that he wasted an entire night of his time so she could go see a band only she liked. Then again, it probably wasn’t that big to him—just another way to show how much he cared about her.
She sighed contentedly, leaning back in her seat. “It’s crazy how much we’ve done together, isn’t it?”
Miles nodded, his expression thoughtful. “Yeah, it is. We’ve been through a lot. But it’s all been pretty amazing!”
After finishing their meal, Gwen and Miles found themselves standing outside the pizza place.
“So, uh, this was fun, Miles,” Gwen said. “Thanks again for inviting me.”
“Thanks for coming with me. I…I really appreciate it.”
That should’ve sent them on their way, but neither one moved. Gwen awkwardly shifted from foot to foot. She could practically feel her lyrics burning through the pocket of her coat.
“This is your moment, Gwen. Just pull it out, hand it to him, and let it tell him how you feel about him.”
Unfortunately, that pep talk didn’t make her body move an inch. She was stuck, anxiety keeping her from doing anything but continuing to stand there. Finally, after the silence reached peak awkwardness, Miles spoke up.
“Hey, Gwen, there's something I want to show you. I-It’s kind of a secret spot of mine. Do you want to see it?”
Gwen raised a brow. “A secret spot? Sure, I’d love to.”
Miles smiled, a mix of excitement and nervousness flashing in his eyes. He led Gwen through a series of streets and alleys until they reached an old, tall, abandoned building. Gwen looked up at the building, a bit wary. “This looks... a little dangerous,” she remarked, glancing at the cracked windows and weathered facade.
Miles chuckled, reassuring her. “I know it looks sketchy, but trust me, it’s worth it.”
They carefully made their way inside and climbed up several flights of stairs. The building creaked slightly under their feet, but Miles seemed confident in their path. Finally, they reached the top, where Miles pushed open a rusty rooftop door and gestured for Gwen to step out first.
As Gwen stepped onto the rooftop, she was greeted with a breathtaking view of Brooklyn, with the sun setting in the background. The sky was painted in hues of orange, pink, and purple, casting a warm glow over the city. It was gorgeous, but that wasn’t what caught her eye the most.
On the wall to the right side of the rooftop was a mural. It was a stunning piece, filled with vibrant colors and intricate details. The mural featured portraits of all the important people in Miles's life: his parents, Uncle Aaron, MJ, Peter, Margo, Peni, and Pavitr. Gwen's breath caught in her throat as she noticed that she appeared in the piece three different times, each portrait in a different pose.
Miles watched her reaction, a small smile playing on his lips. “I’ve been working on it pretty much for the last year,” he explained. “I… I wanted to create something that represented the people who matter most to me.”
Gwen felt her heart swell with emotion, touched by Miles's thought and effort in creating the mural. She turned to him, her eyes shining. “Miles, this is-. I... I don’t even know what to say.”
Miles rubbed the back of his neck, looking a little shy. “Do you like it?”
Gwen stepped closer to the mural, softly running her hands over it. The details, the colors, the emotions captured in each face—it was all so beautifully done. She looked back at Miles, her voice filled with sincerity. “I love it. It’s amazing, Miles. You’re amazing.
Miles smiled, visibly relieved. “I’m glad you think so. It means a lot to me that you’re part of it.”
Gwen felt a lump in her throat, overwhelmed by the significance of the mural and Miles’s words. She looked out at the sunset, the beauty of the moment almost too much to take in.
She walked over to the ledge and took a seat, giving herself a chance to calm her rapidly beating heart. After a moment, Miles came over to sit next to her. The two dangled their legs over the edge, taking in the view of the city. The sun had dipped below the horizon, leaving a soft glow that bathed Brooklyn in a serene light.
Gwen felt a deep sense of peace wash over her. She could spend every day just sitting up here with Miles, sharing these quiet moments.
Miles leaned back, resting his hands on the cool surface of the ledge. “I guess... I needed somewhere that was just for me. A place where I could be myself without worrying about anything else.”
Gwen nodded. “I get that. Everyone could use a place like that.”
Miles turned to her, his eyes softening with a warmth that made Gwen’s heart flutter. “But I’ve come to realize that I associate that feeling with you too, Gwen. Being alone with you feels just as amazing, just as freeing. So, I wanted to share this spot with you. It felt right.”
Gwen felt her heart melt with affection for him. The sincerity in his voice, the genuine way he spoke about their connection—it made her feel cherished. She reached into her bag, her fingers brushing against the edge of the folded lyrics she had written for him. This felt like the perfect moment.
She reached into her bag and fingered the edge of the folded lyrics, ready to hand them to Miles and finally confess her feelings. Just as she was about to speak, her phone buzzed with a notification. She glanced at the screen and saw a message from Hobie, encouraging her to go for it and tell Miles how she felt. It made her smile.
Miles noticed her smile and asked curiously, “Who texted you?”
Gwen looked up, still smiling. “Oh, it was Hobie. He’s been really supportive lately.”
Unnoticed by Gwen, Miles’s expression dropped slightly. He looked away for a moment, then back at her with a somewhat forced smile. “So, you and Hobie have been getting close, huh?”
Gwen nodded, not catching the change in his tone. “Yeah, he’s been helping me with a problem, kinda like he helped you. I can see why you found him so cool. He’s a great guy.”
Miles was quiet for a moment, his gaze distant. Then, out of nowhere, he blurted out, “Felicia asked me to the dance a couple of days ago.”
Gwen’s eyes widened in shock. The confession hit her like a punch to the gut, completely throwing her off balance.
“She did?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Miles nodded, still not looking directly at her. There was a long pause before he finally spoke again.
“Yeah... and I think I’m going to go with her.”
Gwen felt like the ground had been pulled out from under her. The words she had been preparing to say evaporated from her mind, replaced by a crushing wave of disappointment and hurt.
She forced a smile, trying desperately to keep her emotions in check. “Felicia’s great. I’m happy you found someone to go with.”
Miles finally looked at her, his expression unreadable. “Yeah... thanks, Gwen.”
Gwen couldn't stand the tension any longer. She quickly stuffed the lyrics back into her bag and stood up. “I should probably get going. I’ll see you later, Miles.”
Before he could respond, Gwen turned and hurried toward the rooftop door, barely holding back tears. She descended the stairs and exited the building, the cold air hitting her like a shock. She walked quickly, not really seeing where she was going, her mind a blur of emotions.
The journey back home was a haze. She barely registered her surroundings, and when she finally reached her house, she was greeted by her father’s concerned voice. “Gwen, are you okay?”
But Gwen couldn’t respond. She made a beeline for her room, closing the door behind her. She dropped her bag, the folded lyrics slipping out and landing on the floor unnoticed. She collapsed onto her bed, burying her face in her pillow, and let the tears flow.
The pain of hearing Miles say he was going with Felicia was unbearable. Gwen had imagined this day going so differently, ending with a confession and a new chapter in their relationship. Instead, she felt like her heart had been shattered into pieces.
All Gwen could envision now was Miles and Felicia falling in love and him leaving her behind now that there was another girl who could take her place.
As she cried, the lyrics she had written seemed to mock her from where they lay on the floor, a reminder of the words she hadn’t been able to say. Gwen curled up tighter, wishing she could make the pain go away, but knowing that the one thing that could was out of her reach.