Collateral Damage

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - 2015

“How was the first day?” Natasha asked as Maria finally made it back to her apartment at 9:45 at night, exhausted. Was it harder than being at SHIELD? No. But it was new, different, and she had a long to figure out and catch up on. Tony and Fury were both probably equally demanding but Tony was definitely more annoying to her, although she tried not to let it show because she was grateful for the protection and support he and Pepper were extending to her. It was extraordinarily kind and considerate of them and Maria did want to make sure that it was worth it for Stark Industries to hire her.

Maria stood in the entry way kicking off her annoying high heels and taking off her coat before rushing into the bedroom to get dressed into something more comfortable. She was ready to eat a stale doughnut and fall into bed before she had to do the whole thing all over again tomorrow.

“Uhh, I probably should have gone with the smokey eye.” Maria grumbled and laughed and Natasha smirked as she made her way into the bedroom.

Natasha followed her with a suspicious looking grin.

“It is possible I may need to go shopping.” Maria mumbled as she looked over some clothes in her closet for tomorrow and then shut the door in frustration.

“Did Stark give you a signing bonus?” Natasha asked obnoxiously and Maria nodded. Natasha looked excited by that admission.

“Yeah, it pays for this apartment.” Maria squinted and Natasha laughed, it was a considerably nicer apartment than back in DC.

“Just wait until you see what I discovered today.” Natasha teased.

“God, I hope it’s a secret Hydra cell we can go blow up.” Maria sighed as she put on a sweatshirt and joggers.

“Something like that.” Natasha said with a smirk herself. "You know, I am going to have to bolt out of here soon.” Natasha sighed.

“Did you stay here all day?” Maria made a face.

“Yeah, I rearranged all your stuff.”

Maria froze and stared at Natasha seriously and she couldn’t tell if she was kidding.

“You’ll figure it out. Don’t worry. It’ll be a fun project for you while I’m gone.” Natasha laughed and Maria groaned. “I’m kidding… mostly.” Nat smiled.

“What if you didn’t leave, and you just hide in my apartment forever?”

“I will not clean.” Natasha pointed at Maria.

“Yeah, obviously. That’s a given.” Maria rolled her eyes. Maria’s phone started to buzz and Maria and Natasha both looked at it to see it was Tony. Maria’s apartment was blocks away from the Avengers’ tower, and she did like how close it was, but also hated it as it meant she was always just a moment a way from being called into work.

“God, why did you give him your number?” Natasha looked down to see it was Tony calling.

“He cannot be serious.” Maria mumbled.

“Worse than Fury already?” Natasha tilted her head.

“Not even close.” Maria sighed as she answered the phone.

“Did you leave?” Tony asked surprised.

“I did.”

“Oh.” He sounded disappointed.

“Do I have to ask permission?” Maria made a face at Natasha and Natasha was laughing quietly.

“Oh, no, that’s weird. Don’t be weird. Why are you being weird?” Tony asked in an irked tone.

“I’m not weird.” Maria looked at Natasha for support and Natasha shrugged at her.

“That wasn’t very convincing.” Tony laughed under his breath.

“Is there a problem?” Maria asked concerned wondering why he was still bothering her.

“Yeah, we’re going to go out and you’re not here.” Tony remarked.

“Who is the ‘we’ in that sentence?” Maria asked.

“You know, the crew, the gang, the ones less famous than me, and and uh and Romanoff.” Tony recounted.

Maria made a face at Natasha and Natasha grimaced jokingly.

“Oh, well, you guys have fun. I’m going to go to bed.” Maria rolled eyes at both Tony and Natasha.

“At 9:45?” Tony asked exasperated.

“Yeah, way past your bed time…” Maria snarked at Tony smirked at Natasha who was laughing quietly.

“You’re so confusing, I can’t tell if you are you really old or really young?” Tony droned on.

“I’m really tired.” Maria answered.

“Really? It was a pretty easy day for you.” Tony was surprised Maria didn’t want to come hang out with all her friends… or whatever they all were, plus he was trying to assess the situation on Maria, was she really just a Fury lackey spying on him, or she was in it for real? He had mixed feelings about this. He knew it was right to protect Maria from any SHIELD fall out as she was an integral member of their team, but he really believed she played solely for team Fury but it was hard to pin that on her because she performed so well and we exceptionally bright. Even after one day it was clear to Tony why Fury kept Maria around and close at all times.

“Hope you guys have fun.” Maria said like she was going to hang up.

“Oh, fine, don’t hang out.” Tony huffed at her over the phone.

“We’re already on our way!” Natasha yelled into the phone taking it from Maria and and Maria gasped at her.

“Oh! Okay, great. I should have figured Hill was just pulling one over on me. I think that might be her thing.” Tony said eagerly and hung up, assuming Maria had met up with Natasha on the way over.

Maria glared at Natasha. “What is wrong with you?” Maria asked.

“What?” Natasha shrugged.

“I took my bra off already! I’m not going back out. That is like the third rule of feminism.” Maria groaned.

Natasha thought for a moment about the rule placement of ‘bra off day over’

“Yeah, I guess three is right.” Natasha nodded. “But put it back on. C’mon.”

“I’m in my sleep shirt!” Maria acknowledged her oversized old SHIELD training t-shirt and Natasha laughed.

“Well, I wouldn’t wear that…” Natasha joked.

“C’mon we’re going to go be social with the new people you are working with.” Natasha said encouragingly.

“They aren’t new people, it’s the same people I’ve been working with.” Maria rolled her eyes.

“But you work with them in a new way…?” Natasha questioned.

“Nope. The same way. I tell everyone what to do and yet I am nobody’s boss.” Maria smirked to herself.

“Honestly, that’s kind of cooler actually, because that means they listen to you because they want to and respect you and not because they have to.” Natasha put a spin on it and Maria rolled her eyes to herself.

“Let’s go out and have fun and then sneak back here and stay up all night.” Natasha said empowered by the idea.

“I can’t stay up all night, I have to go back to work tomorrow…”

“What? You have to go back again? Like .. everyday?” Natasha joked with a sarcastic stunned tone.

“Yeah, that’s how jobs work, Natasha.” Maria snarked as she pulled some jeans on and a t-shirt.

“You should quit.” Natasha joked laughing to herself and Maria pointed at Natasha.

“Now you’re talking, except who will pay for all the lawyers I need for the onslaught of government inquires coming for me?” Maria sighed.

“Oh, yeah, that…” Natasha made a face. Natasha had to play dodge with some of that too. “Move to Europe!” Natasha proposed.

“Okay, seriously? Can we go right now? Hop in a jet and take off for good?” Maria looked intrigued by that.

“You know they are probably listening on your devices.” Natasha acknowledged.

“Oh, I know, that was a joke FBI!” Maria called loudly to probably no one… probably.

Maria yawned as she redressed herself to go out again.

“You’re like 28 or 30 or something, stop acting like you are 45.” Natasha called to Maria who was taking her sweet time to get ready to leave.

“I can’t wait to be 45, I bet I will be everyone’s boss by then and I will be able to go to bed whenever I want.” Maria joked and Natasha rolled her eyes.

“If I am not retired by then, let me tell you…” Natasha groaned.

“Retired at 45, in your prime?” Maria asked as she came into the entryway where Natasha was waiting for her all ready to go.

“Why do I feel like the last woman you dated was like a really hot older woman?” Natasha asked with a smug grin and Maria burst out laughing.

“Maybe you’re right, and you should hit me back up in your mid-40s and we can resume this.” Maria laughed with a smug tone.

“Shut up.” Natasha barely made out over a laugh and then Natasha gave her a wide eyed grin as they headed out of the hallway from Maria’s apartment.

“So, I’m right?” Natasha asked, her big smile taking over her face. “C’mon tell me I’m wrong.” Natasha baited.

Maria shook her head no as grinned widely as the two of them eagerly strolled down the hallway.

At the bar where Maria and Natasha met up with Tony, Steve and Rhodey. Maria made a bit of a disappointed face upon arrival.

“What?” Tony asked picking up on it immediately.

“Where’s Pepper?” Maria asked, she didn’t want to hang out with just bros.

“She went to bed early.” Tony admitted.

“Were you giving her a headache?” Steve joked to Tony.

“You know, Rogers, funniest thing, I only ever get headaches when you’re around.” Tony pointed his beer at Steve.

“Have you tried meditating?” Maria joked as she and Natasha sat down with the ‘boys’ and Natasha and Steve smirked at Maria’s comment.

“No, I really like hearing the sound of my own voice.” Tony answered genuinely in a casual tone not even noticing the smirks of the others.

“You’re the only one…” Rhodey laughed and Maria, Natasha, and Steve laughed with him.

“Actually, my voice is a very calming presence for very many people. People feel safe when they hear the smooth yet confident tone of my voice.” Tony assured confidently.

“Oh, do you mean you, yourself, and you…?” Natasha asked pressing her lips together unable to suppress her smile and everyone but Tony laughed.

“People buy the sound of my voice to listen to while they fall asleep.” Tony bragged.

“Maybe serial killers.” Rhodey snarked.

“You mean people who would have been serial killers if not for how relaxed and calm they are now thanks to my voice.” Tony smirked.

Tony rolled his eyes in a large dramatic gesture and leaned backward then he looked at Maria for some kind of assurance since Pepper wasn’t here and he knew Natasha wouldn’t give him any.

“Don’t look at me. These are the people you wanted to hang out with.” Maria teased and then Tony shook his head even more dramatically, Maria didn’t even suck up to her new boss on day one and he sighed.

“You’re right, what is wrong with me?” Tony jokingly scoffed at himself and everyone else at the table laughed.

“Some people have too much money.” Natasha joked and everyone but Tony laughed.

“Really? Who?” Tony asked glaring at Natasha with genuinely curiosity. “I don’t think there’s such thing as being too rich.” He corrected

“Yes there is.” Natasha assured and everyone nodded in agreement.

Tony looked at all of them and then gestured to himself.

“I’m exactly the right amount of rich.” Tony defended.

Rhodey and Steve laughed loudly at him and Maria and Natasha just glared at him.

“Sure.” Maria mumbled with a laugh.

“I think you are biased against wealthy people.” Tony snarked at Maria. Everyone looked surprised that Maria was getting called out for this when she barely said anything.

“What makes you think I”m not a wealthy person?” Maria asked in a stern tone and everyone else all looked at Tony wide eyed for an explanation.

“You worked in the government.” Tony clarified.

“High ranking government officials aren’t really known for not being wealthy, are they?” Maria asked him in a gotcha style question that Tony detested because she was right and everyone glared at Tony wondering how was going to respond.

“You were ‘high ranking?’” Tony responded in a sarcastic tone after a long pause calling into question her premise.

“Certainly, higher than you.” Maria snarked back at him.

“Well, not any more!” Tony cheered as he felt like he just won that back and forth. Maria sighed loudly.

“So, are you going to return that signing bonus so you don’t end up being one of those people who are ‘too rich?’” Tony asked echoing Maria’s snarky gotcha tone.

“No.” Maria answered with a smirk and everyone but Tony laughed.

“Romanoff, how long are you around for?” Rhodey asked.

“I’m heading out to take down some hydra cells on the other side of the world, but don’t tell anyone.” Natasha answered and he couldn’t tell if she was serious or not.

“You are?” Steve asked wondering who gave Natasha this role.

“She is.” Maria confirmed.

“Oh, like ‘officially’?” Steve questioned.

“Yeah, I guess, I think it’s best for me not to be around too long, you know?” Natasha shrugged. All of her information was out there now and she had a dark history coming to light.

“I don’t know why you think that.” Tony muttered.

“Well every terrible thing you ever did wasn’t just uploaded on the internet.” Natasha reminded.

“Every terrible thing I ever did has been all over tabloids since I was a kid… and I’m still here…” Tony gestured to himself.

“Not all of us have lived such mundane lives as you.” Natasha snarked at Tony.

“You’re the one who uploaded it…” Rhodes looked at Natasha, she could have removed her own history and protected herself.

“Well, I didn’t really think I should be selective about it…” Natasha sighed.

“Why? You think any man wouldn’t have saved himself first?” Rhodes asked her genuinely.

“I guess I just hold myself to a higher standard than ‘any man.’” Natasha took a drink giving a wide eyed look at all the table and they all avoided making eye contact with her, except Maria who stared right at her with a little smirk.

“Yeah, but you dropped all of Maria’s private information too, so much information about people that had been collected by SHIELD whether they wanted SHIELD to have it or not…” Rhodes started to point out, he wasn’t really all for the data drop but he understood why it happened.

Maria shook her head no at Rhodes.

“She uploaded those files and she cleared a lot of innocent people, damned a great deal of guilty people and she did it at great cost to herself.” Maria defended, did Maria love that lots of private details about her life and history got dropped in the encrypted SHIELD data that Natasha uploaded to the internet, no. But Maria understood it and Natasha was the one who had a lot to hide and she put it all out there. If her information was out there, then Maria’s could be out there along with hers.

“Well, hopefully we can all be more like Natasha one day.” Steve said raising his drink to her to which everyone joined and Natasha was embarrassed.

“Alright, I’m changing the tunes.” Tony got up and went over to the old fashioned juke box in the bar that looked like a cheap prop.

“No way that man has a quarter.” Rhodey joked as Tony left.

“Hey does anyone have a quarter!?” Tony yelled back and the whole table laughed. “What did I say?” Tony tilted his head as he looked as his laughing buddies.

As the night went on the group continued to chat endlessly, mindlessly, rip on Tony and Steve a bit too, but it was very relaxing and casual.

At one point Maria left to use the restroom in the basement of the bar. As she left the women’s room she ran into Tony leaving the men’s. The two of them walked down the hallway back to where the stairs were silently for a moment until Tony decided to make it a little more awkward.

“Well, this is weird.” Tony said among the silence.

“Why?” Maria asked, as she stopped walking and Tony stopped walking too.

“Uhhh, it feels weird.”

“To who?” Maria asked.

“To me?” Tony questioned.

“Why?”

“What are you the inquisition?” Tony groaned at her.

“I just wanted to understand…”

Maria went to say something but then she closed her mouth and just stared at him. He was quiet as he looked at Maria, he had such mixed feelings about her. He did not know her at all, but he did admire her work ethic and talent was undeniably outstanding.

“I am not asking this to be rude, I am just trying to cover my bases…” Tony started and Maria just stared at him raising a brow. He made a curious face at her look because he was trying to get a good read on her. “You’re not going to fuck me over, right?” Tony asked. Maria turned her head at his words.

“What do you mean?” She asked and he groaned that she asked another question.

“You know, you’re not like getting all up in my stuff to snoop around or something, right?”

“Snoop around for what?”

“Admittedly, I am alarmed you didn’t just answer no.” Tony said sternly.

“I am alarmed you won’t elaborate.” Maria shot back and the two of them were quiet for a moment staring tensely at each other and Tony wondered if this was going to work out.

“I just don’t want to get screwed.” Tony rephrased.

“Okay, well, I … uh… I promise on my life I will never be the person screwing you.” Maria said without even the tiniest smirk and Tony scoffed.

“Well, I definitely believe that.” Tony nodded. He did have to hand it to Maria, she was excellent at the back and forth, one of the few people who could keep with him in the quick banter pace that he really enjoyed.

The two of them were quiet again and then Tony pulled and pulled on the door in front of the stairs as Maria stood next to him silently. He was getting alarmingly frustrated as he couldn’t get the door to open. Maria tilted her head at him as this pulling at the door charade seemed to go on for a long time.

“I think it’s locked, or broken. Oh, god, we’re trapped.” Tony said in a bit of anxious panic, out of all the people he was with Maria was the last one he wanted to get trapped with, mostly because he didn’t know her very well and she was so serious all the time. Tony let go of the handle looking a bit defeated.

“I’ll call someone.” He said pulling out his phone quickly.

Maria leaned forward and pushed the door open gently with touch from her hand. Tony looked up in a bit of stunned reaction as he saw the door to start to open and then he looked at Maria and he noticed her hand was very close to small black letters that read ‘PUSH.’ He frowned noticeably.

“You are not smarter than me.” He glared at Maria.

“Of course not.” Maria agreed.

“Maybe, slightly more observant.” He muttered quietly.

“Maybe.” She agreed with a smirk.

“Okay, please don’t tell anyone about this.” Tony said as then pushed the door all the way open and held it for Maria.

“I would never.” Maria assured but hid a smug little grin to herself because she was definitely going to tell Natasha about this.

When Maria and Tony got back to the table Maria started to pick up her stuff as if it was time for her to leave.

“Time for axe throwing!” Tony declared excitedly.

“We were just drinking.” Maria mumbled.

“That’s what makes it fun.” Natasha grinned.

“It’s like almost midnight.” Maria looked at her watch.

“How are you the oldest one here and Steve is literally 100?” Tony, Rhodey, and Natasha laughed and Steve and Maria rolled their eyes.

“Wow, are you afraid you can’t finally beat me even when I’m tipsy?” Natasha smirked at Maria baiting her.

“Oh, do you two have a score going?” Rhodey asked curiously.

“No.” Maria answered sharply.

“Yeah, no, because Maria can’t get a good shot against me.”

“That is an absolute lie.” Maria huffed at Natasha.

“You’ll have to prove it.” Natasha said with a grin.

“I am not taking your fake, pathetic, bait.” Maria said smugly and all the men raised their brows at how harsh Maria said that glaring at Natasha.

QUICK CUT TO AXE THROWING VENUE

Tony fastened one of his iron gloves on his hand.

“That’s cheating.” Rhodey yelled at him.

“Nah, you’re just mad that you didn’t bring yours.” Tony grinned as he gave Rhodey and the rest of the group some side eye. Steve scoffed at Tony’s remark.

“No, it is definitely cheating.” Steve agreed.

“Yeah.” Natasha added.
“For Sure.” Maria agreed.

Tony threw the axe in perfect precision with his tech covered hand it landed 1/4 of an inch off the center bullseye.

“AHA!” Tony cheered success and no one else looked impressed but then he got up closer to the bullseye.

“Looks like your precision calibrator is slightly off.” Rhodey laughed.

“That’s still the best.” Tony gloated.

“It’s the first.” Natasha huffed.

“Rhodey let’s go!” Tony called and Rhodey and Tony switched places. Rhodey did not have any gear and he was slightly tipsy from the bar. He threw the ax and it landed five inches above and two inches away from Tony’s.

“Still the king!” Tony bragged.

“Rogers?” Tony asked.

“No, ladies first.” Steve gestured to Maria and Natasha.

Maria looked at Natasha to go.

“He said ladies.” Natasha laughed.

“Well, Clint’s not here.” Maria snarked and she and Natasha laughed.

“Then I guess that leaves you.” Nat grinned at Maria and Maria shook her head.

“Hill, listen, just do better than Rhodey, okay? I won’t hold it against you if you can’t get a prefect bullseye yet. You’ll get there.” Tony encouraged patronizingly.

Maria silently glared at Tony and then sighed before she walked into the closed off barricade where the axes were thrown.

“I thought you weren’t taking any ‘fake, pathetic, bait’?” Natasha said behind Maria as she went into the throwing cage.

Maria didn’t say a word and ignored her. Maria felt the weight of the ax in her hand, she tossed it up and down in her hand quickly catching it and feeling the throwing weight and throw ability of the ax. She looked at the target, and Tony and Rhodey’s axes.

“Look, if you are getting cold..” Tony started and Maria tossed the ax in a cool collected manner landing directly next to Tony’s and right on center.

“Cold what?” Maria said turning back around and glaring at Tony and then Natasha. Rhodey and Steve laughed.

“Wow, and she didn’t even cheat.” Rhodey nudged Tony on the arm.

“Oh, you came to play, huh?” Natasha said as she and Maria switched places.

“No, I came to win.” Maria smirked and Natasha looked back at her with a competitive gleam in her eye.

Natasha then copied Maria’s exact ax tossing hand catch move mocking her a little. Maria rolled her eyes to herself as she watched it.

Natasha aimed, she closed one eye and stared at the bullseye. She readjusted herself and then with one smooth throw landed her axe right next to Maria’s, even closer than Maria got to Tony’s.

“Oh, damn.” Rhodey said.

“Well. This just got good.” Tony mumbled.

Natasha turned around with a wide smug smile. She raised both her brows at Maria and Maria yawned unimpressed.

“Alright, Captain, can you do as well as our expert marks…women…” Tony joked.

“I’ll try.” Steve said with a meager shrug as he took his turn in the caged off throwing area. He didn’t do any showboating he just tossed the ax, with medium level of strength and his ax hit the wooden target so hard it destroyed the entire board.

“Whoops…” Steve mumbled and rubbed the back of his head for a moment and then looked back at everyone who was watching wide eyed.

“We probably should have figured that was going to happen…” Natasha grumbled.

“I mean, with Bruce, yeah, but I thought Steve… okay, yeah… sure.” Tony sighed. Steve came back into the watching area with everyone.

“So you’re going to pay for that right?” Tony asked as Steve came back.

“I.. yeah.. ok sure.” Steve shrugged and he looked at Maria who was shaking her head no at Tony and Maria and Steve locked eyes for a brief moment.

“You didn’t test the weight.” Natasha pointed out.

“Is that why you two did that toss-y thing?” Steve asked.

“Yes.” Maria answered quickly.

“That makes sense…” Steve nodded.

“So, I’m the only one who sucks, huh?” Rhodey asked a bit defeated and they all laughed.

Finally, after the ax throwing debacle Maria and Natasha made it home around 1 AM. Maria was so ready for bed that she crawled right in it when she got back.

“Did you even brush your teeth?” Natasha asked as she climbed into bed next to her.

Maria mumbled something incoherent.

“That inspires confidence.” Natasha groaned to herself.

“Natasha…” Maria said clearly as she rolled over and looked Nat laying next to her. “Please, please, do not leave me alone with all these men.”

“You’ll be fine, well unless you are going to turn straight.” Natasha laughed scrunching her body down into the bed with Maria staring right at her.

“Are you insane?” Maria sighed and Natasha winked at her.

“If I come back and Steve is your boyfriend…” She jokingly warned.

“Will you stop!” Maria said a turning a little red in the face.

“Did you see how he changed seats to sit next to you.” Natasha teased.

“Stoooooop.” Maria whined. “We just haven’t talked in awhile.” Maria excused it.

“Actually, I switched seats with him just so I could make fun of you for this later.” Natasha admitted with a laugh.

Maria groaned.

“You loved it.”

“No, I wanted to sit next to you.”

“Mm, I’m sure, but it’s funnier to tease you about your crush on Steve.”

“I do not have a crush on Steve, I am in bed with you!”

“You love Steve in a dorky way, I don’t know what it is, your eyes like sparkle at him.”

“My eyes sparkle!? And I’m the dork!?” Maria gagged at Natasha’s joke.

“A glimmer of deep admiration for your hero.” Natasha made fun her.

Maria threw a pillow at Natasha.

“Hey!” Natasha yelled as she threw it back.

“Leave me and my favorite person alone.” Maria snarked with a big grin.

“Yeah, I knew I was second.” Natasha groaned.

“Mmm second is even too high ranking there..” Maria teased.

“Wow, did you already replace me with Tony?” Natasha asked and Maria groaned in laughed into her pillow.

“Do you know..” Maria started “he like corned me in the hallway when I was coming from the bathroom to ask if I was going to screw him…” Maria made a face.

“Well that’s an unfortunate choice of words…” Natasha mumbled.

“Haha I known told him, certainly not.” Maria sighed. “And then he didn’t read the door to the stairs and kept trying to pull it instead of push it open and it was very embarrassing and emasculating for him.”

“Oh, I bet, great for you to repeat it now.” Natasha and Maria both laughed.

“Are you going go buy some make up and clothes tomorrow?” Natasha teased Maria.

“Natasha, I cannot be anxiously aware of my appearance at a new job, okay? I will figure it out.” Maria admittedly rather vulnerably.

“You? Anxious?” Natasha laughed at Maria.

“Yes, believe it or not, Nat I am not a robot.”

“Could have fooled me.” Natasha laughed even more.

“I am fine with that.” Maria leaned her head back as she fell asleep almost instantly.