Chapter 13
It had been more than three weeks since Skye had found out about her biological mother. Skye still didn’t know how to react to the news. She had always lived under the belief that her parents had dropped her at Saint Agnes. She had always been upset with them for not loving her. She had always wondered what was so wrong with her that even her birth parents couldn’t love her. And okay, she still didn’t know about her father but her mother had not chosen to leave her. She had talked about this with Dr. Morgan too.
“I don’t know her. I never met her. Why do I feel like this?”
“You can still miss her, Skye. Still mourn her. You are allowed to mourn something that you could have had but was taken away from you. You can still long for that connection. And it is alright to do so.”
“I keep wondering what she would have been like.”
“And that’s alright. Hopefully, you will find somethings about her to fill in those blanks. But in the meantime, you should not lose sight of what you already have.”
Dr. Morgan had been right. Her foster family had been extremely supportive to her. Phil would read to her whenever she asked him to. Bobbi had talked about her own anger with her parents for leaving her so abruptly. Natasha had told Skye how furious she had been with her father for giving up on her, and also about her emotions regarding her mother’s death. Leo had been there too. He didn’t remember much of his childhood but he would sit with her and talk about computers. He would take over the conversation with their friends when he felt that Skye would not be able to continue. Then there was Melinda.
Melinda May, her foster mother. The woman was something Skye had no idea how to deal with. She would hold Skye, sometimes through the night. Skye remembered the night she had woken up because of a nightmare and had been unable to go back to sleep. She had hesitatingly knocked on Phil and Melinda’s door. The door had been opened within seconds and Phil had smiled at her, before leaving the room, while Melinda cuddled with her. She had also set the boundaries when Skye had been rude to everyone. She had also started teaching Skye tai-chi to help calm her nerves. Skye loved learning it and Melinda was a patient teacher. Her hugs were like a spoonful of warm honey and her kisses made Skye feel like she was floating in the air.
“Skye, you ready?” Natasha asked from outside the door. Skye looked at herself in the mirror. She was dressed in Gryffindor robes. It was Halloween and they had decided to go as Harry Potter characters. Leo as Harry Potter himself, Skye was Hermione, Natasha (with her red hair) was Ginny, and Bobbi (blonde hair) was Luna. They would be joined by Jemma, Trip, Hunter and Natasha’s friends - Clint and Laura. Skye was looking forward to meeting them.
She unlocked the door and opened it for Natasha, rushing to her desk and picking up the fake books for her character. Natasha was carrying a fake pygmy puff. “How do I look?” Skye asked. Natasha gave her a grin and then tried to ruffle her hairs to give them the bushy look. They hurried downstairs where Phil and Melinda were waiting with the camera.
“There you are,” Phil said, as soon as he saw them. “Come on pics.” He had them pose together and alone. Bobbi and Leo joined them and had their own pictures clicked - Bobbi was wearing Luna’s glasses and Leo was carrying a fake Hedwig. “One group photo, come on.” Leo stood between Skye and Natasha with Bobbi behind him. “Wonderful,” Phil said as the camera clicked.
“Good to see you operate the camera properly,” Melinda said. She was perched against the dining table and was smirking at Phil.
“Seriously?” Phil asked exasperated.
“What? I remember you fumbling with the camera, almost risking our mission,” Melinda said with a grin. Skye knew they were about to be either really cute or really gross.
“It was the new technology. I do not fumble with the camera, I'm good with my hands.”
“Not how I remember it.”
“Again?”
“Well, I remember you fumbling quite a bit.”
“I didn't know you that well back then. I didn't want to be presumptuous.”
“You were undercover as my husband.” Skye was voting for gross.
“Right, and I knew we were on camera, so I had to sell that we were, you know…”
“Oh, yeah, you sold it. Took over two minutes to unhook my bra.”
“Ew! Gross!” Skye exclaimed. She did not want to think that. Leo had stuffed his fingers in his ears.
“Why would you say that?” Natasha asked.
“That is not something we needed to know,” Bobbi added.
Phil looked at them sheepishly while Melinda just grinned. The doorbell rang and Leo went to open the door, muttering something under his breath. “What did you do?” Maria asked, walking in behind Leo. She was followed by Trip and Natasha’s friend. Skye bumped fists with Trip and Natasha greeted her friends with a hug. Trip was dressed as Captain America - with the mask and the shield. But Skye didn’t recognize Clint and Laura.
“Hey blondie,” Clint greeted Bobbi who answered with ‘hey Legolas’. Skye giggled. Clint looked at her and then grinned, raising his hand for a high-five. Skye reciprocated. He introduced everyone to Laura.
“What characters are you two dressed as?” Skye asked.
Everyone gaped at her and then talked over each other. Skye tried to make sense of what was being said. Clint and Laura were Han Solo and Princess Leia. They were characters from Star Wars. Everyone in the room was a big fan of Star Wars. It was criminal that Skye had been here for so long and hadn’t watched it. “We are having a marathon,” Bobbi announced, as the doorbell rang again. This time it was Izzy and Vic with Hunter and Jemma. Hunter was dressed as ‘Indiana Jones’ while Jemma was a scientist - Madame Curie.
Phil took lots of photographs before he allowed them to go. They were given tons of instructions too. Don’t eat anything till it had been checked by the adults. Don’t go anywhere alone. No pranks. Call if you need us. Skye walked out of the house. Bobbi and Hunter walked in front, while Natasha walked behind them with her friends. Skye walked with Leo, Jemma and Trip. The trick or treat was fun. They collected a lot of candies and Skye got to know some neighbors too.
“Jemma, can I ask you something?” Skye asked, walking along with Jemma. Leo and Trip were a little ahead. They could hear her but no one else could. Jemma nodded in response to her questions. “What are moms like?” Skye saw Leo suck in a breath and look away. He understood the question better than the others did.
“Mums are superheroes,” Jemma said. “Like a constant source of love and support. She is strict, would discipline you if you do something wrong but she is like an oasis. Once you are with her, you can escape everything. Mum gives the best hugs and cuddling with her can solve every problem.”
Skye could tell Jemma was thinking of her own mother. Skye had asked the question to understand what she had missed in life but she wasn’t thinking of that anymore. No. When Jemma had started speaking, Skye’s mind had thought of Melinda. It felt as if Jemma was describing Melinda. Leo met her eyes and moved to stand beside her, silently taking her hand and squeezing it. Skye wished she could tell him what she was thinking.
“Hello Skye, good to see you,” Dr. Morgan greeted her as she walked into her office. Skye sat on the couch and fiddled with her cast. She would get rid of it in two more weeks. Damn Ward. And he would be back to school next week. Skye hoped he stayed away. She wouldn’t break her thumb punching him this time. Melinda had taught her how to punch properly.
“Show me how you punched him,” Melinda asked. Skye fisted her left palm and threw a punch at the imaginary opponent in front of her. “Your thumb was inside your fist?” Melinda asked. Skye nodded. Melinda gently moved her thumb outside and positioned it against her index and middle fingers. “This way you won’t break your thumb.”
“Skye,” Dr. Morgan called. Skye shook out of the memory, realizing that she had zoned out. “What were you thinking there?”
“About the time Melinda taught me the right way to punch,” Skye answered. “Bobbi even teased her that she was encouraging me to start a fight.” Skye grinned at the memory.
Dr. Morgan smiled with her. “How was your Halloween?”
“It was good, very good. Phil clicked lots of pictures and Melinda teased him.” Skye wrinkled her nose a bit. “They can be really gross sometimes. But I like it. I like that they love each other so much.”
“Was than not very common in your previous fosters?”
Skye thought about it. She remembered one fosters who hated each other’s guts. They were always screaming at each other, throwing things and Skye used to hide in her room to avoid them.
“It must have been scary, listening to their voices,” Dr. Morgan said. Skye liked how she never made Skye think like what she was feeling was wrong. She always understood and acknowledged those emotions. “Couples often have arguments and it is true that some have more than usual. But it was not your fault. And they should have been more attentive to the effect their arguments had on you.”
“Phil and Melinda don’t fight,” Skye said. She had been living with them for over two months now. She had never seen them have a fight.
“A healthy relationship has conflicts in it. I am sure they have too. But they do a much better job at shielding you and your foster siblings from it.”
Skye thought about it. She had never seen them fight. If what Dr. Morgan said was true, then they had their arguments in private. She would ask Melinda about it. She also told Dr. Morgan some more about Mr. Anderson. He would get really drunk sometimes and if anything happened to irk him, he would pull out his belt and hit Skye and also his wife.
“I am sorry you had to go through something like that, Skye,” Dr. Morgan said. “Mr. Anderson clearly had issues. Alcohol makes people lose control on their emotions and act in a way they wouldn’t. That doesn’t make his actions okay and you have every right to be upset about it. And…”
Skye looked at the doctor and smiled softly. She had been making her say it out aloud. “It was not my fault.”
“That’s right. It was not your fault.”
Skye took a deep breath and dived in to the problem that was bothering her. “I asked Jemma yesterday what were moms like.” Dr. Morgan gestured her to continue. “She told me a lot of things. I wanted to know what I had missed but when she started talking, it was as if she was describing Melinda.” Skye told her everything Jemma had said and how that described Melinda. “It is wrong, no? I had a mom and she is no more. I shouldn’t put someone else in that position.”
Dr. Morgan was quiet for a few seconds. “Can I tell you a story, Skye?” she asked. Skye frowned but nodded. How would a story answer her question. “I want to tell you about a Hindu deity, Krishna.”
“I read about him,” Skye said. “He was the eighth incarnation of Vishnu and is worshipped as a God.”
“That’s right,” Dr. Morgan said, with a smile. “Do you know where he was born?”
Skye nodded eagerly. “He was born in a prison. Kamsa, his mother Devaki’s brother, had been told that her eighth son would be responsible for his death. So, he locked up Devaki and her husband Vasudeva, and killed their children.”
“Yes. It is believed that when Krishna was born, the prison gates opened and the guards fell asleep, so Vasudev could safely take him to his friend Nanda and Yashoda.” Skye nodded. She remembered reading this. “He was raised by Nanda and Yashoda, who loved him as their own son. They took care of him, played with him, and taught him many things. He did not learn about his birth parents until he was older. That didn’t change anything. Yashoda and Nanda were still his parents because they were the ones who had raised him, cared for him, and loved him all his life.”
Skye knew this story but today she was it in a new light. Dr. Morgan continued, “Families are made with love, not just by being born into them. Krishna had two sets of parents who loved him so much – his birth parents, Devaki and Vasudeva, who wanted the best for him, and his adoptive parents, Yashoda and Nanda, who gave him a wonderful life. You are not disrespecting your birth mother by thinking of Melinda. You are not disregarding her role. She gave birth to you and no one can take that away from her.”
“Do you think I should call her mom?” Skye asked in a small voice.
“That is something you have to decide yourself. But if you decide to do so, you are not doing any disservice to your birth mother.”
“I called Mrs. Brody mom and she sent me back.”
“Let’s take that in two parts, shall we?” Skye nodded. “Do you think Melinda is going to send you back if you call her mom?”
Skye thought about it. Melinda had already brought three kids into her home and all three of them called her mom or mum. Would she be against the idea of the fourth one calling her mom? But the fourth one was Skye. She was the problem kid but didn’t Dr. Morgan say that it was not her fault. Skye was gripped by the memory of Melinda telling Skye she loved her. You are my baby - my precious baby. And I love you. I love you so much. “I don’t think so,” Skye said, trying to sound confident.
“Okay. Now, let’s focus on what happened with Mrs. Brody. Can you explain it to me?” So, Skye talked about Mrs. Brody. She had been moody. If Skye did a good thing, she would be very loving - all hugs and kisses. But if Skye messed up, she would start shouting and withhold food. “And what did messing up include?” Dr. Morgan asked.
“Umm, getting anything other than A in tests. I only got A in computers so every time I took a test, she was bound to get upset. She would also get upset if I asked extra servings during meals. Or if I wore anything other than the dresses.” Skye paused there, remembering something. “When I went shopping with Melinda, I told her that I am not too fond of dresses and she was okay with it. And she and Phil never get upset with how much food I eat. Sometimes, I have to tell Phil that I am full 'coz he keeps serving me.”
“Do you like that?”
“Kinda. I never have to worry about going hungry here.”
Dr. Morgan nodded gravely. She was about to say something important. “Skye, you get to decide what you want to wear. And Mrs. Brody had no right to take that away from you. The same applies to food too. Forcing someone to go hungry is never right. Of course as your caregiver, it was her responsibility to ensure that you don’t overeat and that you are dressed according to the weather. But what she did was not right.”
Skye nodded. Dr. Morgan often told her that what her fosters had done was not right. “Then why did she do it?” Skye asked. “If none of it was my fault, then why did they punish me?”
“I am really sorry that they did. Sometimes people hurt others because they don't know how to handle their own feelings or because they haven't learned the right way to treat others. It doesn't make it right, understand. You were not responsible for their behavior. That was on them. You deserve to be in a place where you are loved and cared for.”
Skye absorbed this. Knowing that she was not the problem helped a lot, even if sometimes she forgot that. And she was in a place where she was loved and cared for. She saw it and even believed it to some extent. Halloween night, whenever one of the neighbors had asked questions about her, Bobbi or Natasha or Leo would introduce her as their sister. Phil read Harry Potter to her whenever she asked him to, and he did the voices too. He and Melinda had asked her permission to frame two of her sketches. They were now proudly displayed on the living room wall and also in the family room.
When Skye walked back into the waiting room, Melinda hugged her. Like she always did. She never asked about the session - no one did. They just wanted to make sure that she knew they were there for her. Skye hugged Melinda back and then followed her out to the parking. When they got into the car, Skye asked her question. “Melinda, do you and Phil ever have arguments?”
“Yes,” Melinda answered. “Not often but we do have a difference of opinion once in a while. Why?”
“There was this foster once. They would argue all the time, screaming at each other and throwing things in anger. I used to hide in the room. I was afraid that they’d shout at me too,” Skye told her.
“I am sorry you had to go through that, baby girl,” Melinda said. Her tone was pleasant but her hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. Skye grinned despite herself. She loved that Melinda would get angry on her behalf.
“I never felt safe there,” Skye told her. “I feel safe with you, Melinda.”
Melinda met her eyes in the rearview mirror and whispered, “Thank you bǎo bǎo.”