Daffidoil
Jason was done with surprises. He had just gotten into a fight with some goon who dropped in his own safe-house, meaning he would have to move everything out, and then get someone to cover the evidence that he was ever there- and well, it was a hassle. He managed to get ONE small scratch, and well, Dick, being the dick he was, would not leave him alone.
It was one scratch, it barely grazed his arm, and Dick, was fussing over him like some mother hen. He sometimes wished that the man would leave him alone, he was a grown man, after all. He was a good liar too, he was good at the horrid skill.
Now, Jason just wanted to go to the library. He was trying to return his books, but the universe *cough*author *cough* would not give him ONE moment of peace. It was like the world just wanted him to pick up his bad boys and play crime lord. A kid had burst out of the ground, right in front of him, spraying his green goo everywhere. Jason, panicking, immediately covered his precious books with his jacket. But at what cost? His carefully fixed curls were now sticky with goo, and he now resembled a drowned cat. He was tempted to pick up his guns and maybe kill the Joker, again .
After a few minutes of deciding who to kill, the little boy blinked up at him, confused. He tried to speak, but simply sputtered green goo again. Sure, the boy looked like he got laz pitted, white streak, green eyes, and the fact that he had burst out of the ground, but the library was more important. He’d just ask Dick to take care of the child- he looked like him anyways. The boy tried talking to him again, this time clearer.
“Angel…?”
“wut”
“Are you an angel?”
“An angel? An angel of death, maybe.”
“Have you come to take me away as well?”
“...I’m not an angel or anything near it, kiddo.”
“Then who are you?”
“A demon.”
Peter's eyes practically popped out of his face. He couldn't remember what bad thing he had done- other than maybe, perhaps, stealing a cookie once. But- no one was going to eat it and he was starving . It was going to be thrown away. He remembered going a little too tough on his first criminals, maybe that's why?
He blinked, noticing his face was now wet with tears rolling down his cheeks. The man, at once, seemed to crumble, and crouched beside him.
“You alright?” Peter simply pushed himself up, and pulled his legs into himself, becoming smaller, furiously wiping his tears away. “I’m sorry- I shouldn’t have taken the cookie- I didn’t mean to- i'm sorry for going too hard at that guy- he did deserve it thou-”
The guy frowned for a moment, looking down at him. He was cool, Peter realized. Patches adorned his leather jacket, which was protectively covering a stack of books, white bangs parting his curly hair, which was coated in green goo? Peter gasped in horror.
“I'M SO SORRY!” The cool guy scowled at that. “As you should b- actually how did you manage to get into a Lazarus pit?”
“A what?”
“A Lazaru- never mind you probably have no idea. You up to going to the library? Also what’s your name?”
Peter literally had no idea what was going on, but he responded anyway.
“I- sure? I guess? I’m Peter, you?”
The cool dude pulled the boy up, steadying him with his free hand, narrowing his eyes.
“You don’t get to know that kiddo.”
The two of them went to the library to drop off cool guy’s books.
…So thats what happened.” Peter finished, and Cool Guy looked at him dumbly.
“You got killed by BUG SPRAY??? HOW????” Oh damn I forgot he doesn't know I’m Spider-man… he proceeded to scold himself for saying “damn” cause his aunt was against it.
“Uhh- it was poisonous?” Great job Peter. Way to go. That was terrible.
“What do you MEAN?!! BUG SPRAY DOESN’T KILL PEOPLE???”
Peter rubbed his arm “I really don’t know??”
“Oh my god kid, I don’t even know how you managed to die that way- how did you get here anyway? Aren’t you a New Yorker?”
He winced at that, glancing back at him. “Does the accent really give me away?”
“Yeah, has anyone told you it’s pretty obvious? Did you hang out with old Yorker guys or something?” How the heavens does this man know everything about me???
“Actually- I did”
“How’d you get here anyways…”
“I really don’t know…”
And with that the confused child and Cool Guy™ trudged back into a safe-house, not knowing that Dick was grinding his teeth and ripping his hair out in jealousy.