Forced Second Chances

Helana Stark was a busy woman. She was a scientist in a world torn by war, a businesswoman in a male-dominated field, and an icon of women's power in a place where it was shunned. She had to be sharp yet soft, violent yet peaceful, flirty but untouched.

She was busy, much too busy to fall in love once let alone twice. Much too busy to be a mother, something she regretted greatly as her old friend bashed her face in.

Her first love had been Steven Rogers, he was so sweet and kind. He laughed at her jokes but respected her and her weapons. She fell hard and fast for his soft blue eyes and sunny golden hair, a prince like the stories her mamă had told her before she’d died. He fought for his country without a second thought and risked everything to save his friend. He was… wonderful and so out of her league. He was also in love with Peggy, completely, and fiercely, and Peggy deserved to have that in her life, so Helana took a step back and smiled like her heart didn’t shatter further every time she was treated like just the gun gal.

When his plane went down she’d been crushed, so crushed she’d spent decades searching for him. So crushed she’d spent the rare few moments with her son telling him stories about how good Steve had been so that Tony would have a good role model growing up, god knows she was subpar at best.

Her second love had been Marcus Carbonell. Marcus was lean where Steve had been butch, tan where Steve had been pale. Chocolate eyes and even darker chocolate hair that she loved running her fingers through during the early days. He was snarky and matched every quip she had with one of his own, having managed to make her laugh strong enough to snort on more than one occasion. He was an Italian model, so she’d never have to worry about him going off and dying at war, and he was selfish enough to fly the fucking plane home instead of crashing it into the sea like an idiot. He also took her name when they got married without any fuss which earned him many points in his favor.

Points he used to cheat after Antony was born [and possibly before and she was just too blind to see it] shamelessly. Not that she ever let on that she knew, she was much too busy to deal with a divorce. And he was so good with Tony, she didn’t want him to lose the only parent that was actually there.

And that was the problem. Helana was much too busy to be a good enough wife to keep her husband in their bed, much too busy to be a good enough mother to see how isolated Tony was because Marcus wasn’t there unless she was there to convince her he was a good father, much too busy to be a good enough friend that she noticed when Obi started plotting her murder.

Busy, busy, busy. Right up until she died. Then she has nothing to do.

Nothing to do but watch her baby grow up and regret it.

She watches him grow into an outstanding man hidden by the same façade she’d used. Watches him build bigger and better weapons than she’d ever dreamed of. Watches as he creates her first grandchildren in the back of a college lab with only caffeine and dedication to guide him.

She watches him get his heart broken again and again. Watches him take the world by storm. Watches him find real friends, truer friends than she had known.

She watches him getting attacked with his own weapons, by Stane who was apparently out to kill her entire family, by the son of an old college who had tried to murder her to steal her ideas.

She watches him struggling because the thing keeping him alive is also killing him. Watches him live again and again because he is stronger than she’d ever been. Watches as he falls so hopelessly in love as she did but for someone who actually deserves it.

She watches him opening up and trusting more than just his inner circle and being beaten down for it, his self-worth shredded into near non-existents by her first love again and again until she hates the man with a more burning passion than she’s ever felt.

She watches what should have been the end of the world over and over again as her baby finds new and exciting ways to stop it. She watches her pool of grandchildren grow, morning losses with more intensity than she’d ever mourned Steve or Marcus. Watches her son stand tall until he doesn’t, until he can’t.

As the dust settles, she floats, torn between looking after Peter and following Tony as everything he was and could have been floating along the breeze.

“A pity.” A voice whispers behind her.

“Shut up.” She snaps, deciding to follow Tony for the time being. At least until the last of him settles.

“So much potential.” A different voice murmurs.

Once he’s settled, she’ll go back. Peter has the rest of his siblings and Pepper to take care of him, he’ll be fine without his grandmother hovering uselessly over his shoulder.

“Such a shame.” A third voice chuckles lightly.

“I said shut. Up.” She snarls as she floats along the breeze with her son’s ashes. As awful as it is there is a small part of her that hopes Tony ends up like her, endlessly watching, so she can finally apologize. She has so much to say, so much bullshit Steve threw in Tony’s face to discount. She loves him, loves him so much and she just wants to finally tell him that. To tell him that she’s so proud of him.

“But if we’re silent then you’ll never know how to fix it.” The chuckling voice continues.

She continues to float, ignoring the red mist trailing along with them on the breeze. How can she fix anything? She’s dead and gone, nothing more than rotting flesh and creaking bones six feet underground.

“There are many fixed points that you cannot change.” The first voice whispers right into her left ear. “But there are just as many points that you can change. Things that will make the fixed points… softer, easier to manage.”

“I don’t need false promises.” She growls as a green glow sparks up in her peripheral. They flow over the dust-ridden battlefield, swirling around crumbling buildings and over crushed vehicles. She wonders when Tony will decide to stop and choose to lay his remains to rest.

“We do not make promises.” The second voice murmurs into her right ear. “We make offerings, souls usually don’t linger this long. They can’t, and yet here you are. Decades since your death and still here.” The orange flare is almost blinding but her need to follow Tony is strong enough to push through it. “You have eaten through the rage of your death, the anger of your betrayals, the pain of your losses, and the love of your son and grandchildren. You should be gone, a husk at best, but you still feel.”

“You still burn rages you wish to warp in your favour.” The laughing red mist purrs as it twirls around her in a poor attempt at a playful dance.

“You still sink into the depths of losses you’d give anything to give another chance to.” The green glow hums as she feels it settles against her unused jugular.

“You still fly on streams of love that echo through you with such intensity that even death could not dislodge you from your line entirely.” The orange flare tells her before slinking through her hair until it can press sharply against the top of her head.

She continues to ignore them; she doesn’t know who they are but she has a pretty good idea and she wants nothing to do with the bloody rocks that killed her son. She ignores them until Tony picks his resting place and her heart shatters anew. Her throat constricted as his ashes settled atop her grave, mixing with the dirt that had been her body’s home for so long.

“His story wasn’t supposed to end here.” The time stone tells her as it rolls off her shoulder. “Stephen only looked at what futures were available in that moment, he did not look back to see what needed to change for a better outcome.”

“You will be easier to move.” The soul stone promises as it slides off of her head. “You are stronger than you give yourself credit for, so few are those strong enough to fight death by stubbornly existing past their collection date.”

“I’m bored.” The reality stone complains as it swirls before her, solidifying before joining the other two in decorating her and her son’s grave.

Well, at least one of them was telling her what they actually wanted. “Where are the rest of you?” She asks as she looks around, finally entertaining the thought of a conversation now that Tony has settled.

“Making the same offer to someone else.” Soul tells her making her look back.

“Who?”

“We cannot stop you from figuring it out when you are there but we cannot tell you.” Time hums.

“Why?” She bites back.

“It would be boring.” Reality snickers.

“Power, Space, and Mind have chosen like we have. An individual who embodies them in a balance.” Soul says, pointedly talking over Reality.

“Would it not be easier to just find one person each?” She asks again, her tether to Peter is weaker than her tether to Tony but it is there. Along with the ones connecting to Morgan, Harvey, and the bots. Her link to FRIDAY was more of pockets of power in multiple places.

It would not take much to find him again but she didn’t want him to get too far away.

“Six souls each trying to change things is too much.” Time tells her with a shuddering vibration.

“Even two is too much but we cannot be one.” Soul adds. “No mortal can handle being all six, you can barely handle three.”

“Because you’ve been playing with us, even before you died.” Reality purrs as it becomes mist again, curling around her ankles like a smug cat. “You’re used to us, body, mind, and soul.”

“Two each would be safer.” Soul admits.

“But three trying to change is still too much.” Time bites.

“And if I say no?” It was tempting she’d admit, there was so much she’d wished she’d done better.

“Then we find someone else.” Soul says without much fuss.

It was very tempting but Helana had long since lost her pride, she knew that they were here because she was the closest match. They could find a better fit, there were so many after all. “I’m going to have to pass but good luck.”

“What!?” Reality hisses, the first serious reaction from the stone.

“Why?” Time asks curiously.

“If something is easy it doesn’t mean it is right.” She tells them, she’d done what was easiest for her for years and it had cost her everything. “Just because I’m slightly compatible and here doesn’t mean I’m the right choice.”

They are silent at her response which she takes as their agreement, she gently places her hand on the earth that contains her and her son then takes off in the direction of Peter… or well, she tries to take off but for the first time since she died, her feet are firmly stuck on the ground.

“You are not our first choice.” Soul says, suddenly louder than the whispers they’d all been speaking in. A hurricane compared to a soft breeze. “We had many choices before you.”

“Good. Bad. Everywhere in between.” Time echoes as the world starts spinning.

“You are the first to tell us no though.” Reality cackles gleefully. “The first not to jump at the chance to abuse us.”

“So many have tried.”

“So many have failed.”

“So we reject your rejection.”

“Protect your soul, Helana Stark.”

“Edit your timeline, Helana Stark.”

“Change your reality, Helana Stark.”

“And know that we will be watching.”

“And waiting.”

“With bated breath.”

The world continues to spin until she’s stumbling into a wall. She blinked the swirling colours out of her eyes before looking around the room she was in. It was… it was her old room, the one she shared with Marcus. She snaps her eyes to the mirror and almost slides to the floor, she looks so young. Soft brown hair, no wrinkles. The tiredness in her frame was nowhere to be seen.

She recognises the dress she’s wearing next, the golden dress is strapless, tight, and hard to move in. The sharp gold heels had added to her discomfort and she’d spent the whole night worried it would slip off. It was a new fashion and this had been her first time embracing it at the request of Marcus, she was much better at wearing it now. Straightening herself out is easy but it brings her a new memory, Tony tugging at the hem of her dress with his computer motherboard.

She’d been too scared of flashing the entire party to react like she should have, by the time she’d fully comprehended what marvel he’d done it was too late to praise him because he’d already moved on to bigger and better. Not this time, never again.

She would never give him doubt about how much she loved him again.

“Helana? What’s taking so long?” Marcus asks as he pokes his head in.

“Nothing.” She says with a plastic smile, she needs to make reading their marriage contract a priority. The sooner she can divorce him the better. “Is Antony ready?” She asks as she brushes past him, ignoring his furrowed brow.

“… Yes, Jarvis helped him into the suit.” He answers after a moment, following her through the halls until they make it to their entryway.

Jarvis and Anna are there with Tony, who is holding the computer motherboard awkwardly. It made her breath hitch, she’d thought he’d cannibalized it at the ball because he was bored. Had he… had he had it the whole time and she’d been too distracted to notice? So far into ignoring him for everything else that he’d felt the need to get her attention hours later to show her his hard work?

“Oh, Antony! You look precious.” She cries as she hurries over, crying real tears as she kneels in front of him. Never again.

He blinks up at her with wide chocolate eyes, his little golden dress shirt an exact match for her dress. A sharp contrast to the black suit jacket, dress pants, and shiny shoes he was wearing. The most adorable four-year-old she’d ever seen.

“Ma’am!” Jarvis choked and she felt bad shocking her old friend, but she was not getting off the floor without hugging Tony.

“Mamă?” Tony says in confusion. His head tilted to the side just so like she remembered from when he’d sneak into her lab. He also looks slightly shaken, like he’d missed a step and couldn’t figure out how far the fall was to the next one.

“I’m sorry dragă, I’ve just missed you.” She promises as she takes the silk square Jarvis offered her and dabbeds at her eyes.

“You saw me an hour ago.” Tony points out like he’s not quite sure what’s going on which is fair, she’s sure she’s displaying a completely different personality than he’s used to.

“I did.” She watched him die an hour ago. “But it was an hour too long. Enough about me though, what have you got there?”

“Oh.” He says as he blinks down at the motherboard. “I… I made a computer.”

“You did?” She says with as much joy as she’d felt the first time she’d realized what he’d done. He blinks at her in shock again. “What are the specs?”

“I don’t remember.” He says slowly.

“Hmm, that is a problem. Why don’t we find out?”

“Helana, enough of this. We’re going to be late.” Marcus snaps making her stiffen a tad, she couldn’t remember a time when he’d snapped at her but then again she’d let him get away with everything he wanted before, hadn’t she?

Tony shrinks a tad and her resolve hardens, she scoops him up and sits him on her hip. “So sorry my love but I’m *cough* *cough* starting to get sick.”

“Helana,” Marcus growls, his eyes narrowing while Tony watches her with ever-widening eyes.

“Please, give everyone my love. I just *cough* *cough* don’t know if I could bring myself to attend.” She continues as she walks backwards with Tony, Jarvis and Anna looking ready to catch her if she trips which she appreciates but she knows for a fact that she can outrun grown men in higher heels than this. She’d had to do it more than once after all.

“This is important, Helana. There are investors there we need to meet.” Marcus growls as he stalks after her.

There are little flecks of red fluttering over her vision but she ignores them to focus on the potentially dangerous situation in front of her. She’d never pushed Marcus this much, always preferring to cave to his wills to save time, and she wasn’t sure how bad this could get. It certainly wasn’t going to be good with the dark look in his eye and the sharp curl to his frown.

“The investors will always be there, Marcus.” An excuse he’d used more than once to not go to an event so he could prattle around with whichever one of his lovers he favoured at the time. His eyes turn stormy at it being thrown back into his face and she manoeuvres Tony further out of his reach when the flurry of red overtakes her vision. “But this is the first time Antony has built a computer and I’m not missing out on it.” Again.

Marcus catches up to her, understandable since she was walking backwards and he wasn’t [she missed floating], and grabs her arm. The one holding Tony up. Tony drops the motherboard to cling to her so he doesn’t fall, she almost catches it with her free hand but instead curls awkwardly to keep Tony steady. Her vision flares green briefly as the motherboard hits the floor and shatters but she shoves it away too, she will not fall for whatever games these bloody lying stones are playing.

A second later Anna steps up to help keep Tony steady but Marcus yanks her [and Tony by proxy] away. “Sir, please. Young Master is about to fall.” Jarvis pleads.

“You get one chance.” She tells him as she tries to pull her arm back making his eyes darken further.

“What?” He hisses as his grip tightens. How had she missed this? Then again she’d clearly missed every red flag Rogers had owned so maybe she was just blind.

“I am giving you one chance to back up and remember who’s around.” She hisses back as she readjusts Tony again, having to physically lean so he had better purchase. “We can talk about this later.”

“We will talk about this now.” My god, it was like talking to a brick wall. She knew that he wasn’t as smart as she and Tony but he was usually good at reading a room, clearly she’d put more stock into his general being than she should have.

Well then, she guessed they were talking about this now, she’d really wanted to review their marriage contract first but her lawyers were blood-thirsty sharks and would be more than happy to exploit every loophole there was in it for her.

“Anna, take Antony to the kitchen for some snacks. It doesn’t do to invent on an empty stomach.”

“Helana.” Marcus snarls, trying to yank her and Tony away from the approaching chief again but this time she digs her heels in until Tony is safely taken from her grip.

“Jarvis, if you could be a dear and save as much of Antony’s computer motherboard as you can. I would really appreciate it.” She adds as she stares Marcus down. She crushed bigger men every time she went to work.

Anna hurries away with Tony who looks like he is beginning to panic, while Jarvis approaches to start collecting the motherboard pieces. They don’t get far though then the sharp crack fills the room, her vision kaleidoscopes in reds, oranges, and greens with slight echoes of yellows, blues, and purples as her head snaps to the side. It takes her a moment to realise that he’d struck her.

Was she really so much of a doormat for him that he’d been compelled to hit her at the first sign of defiance?

She shoves all of the colours away before slowly looking at the angry Italian. Grinning with bloody teeth as her mouth filled with iron. “Well, now I really can’t go to the gala. What would people say?” She purrs violently making him drop her arm like she’d burned him. “Helana Stark’s loving husband striking her like she was a common whore? My, you’re carefully crafted reputation would crumble, wouldn’t it?”

He snarls at her before spinning on his heel and heading towards the front door. “Jarvis! Bring the Lincoln Continental Mark IV around!”

Jarvis sends her a questioning look, clearly shaken and furious. She nods and he bows before heading towards the garage. She licks her teeth to get rid of some of the blood while she watches Marcus storm off, waiting until the front door has slammed closed before turning to face Anna and Tony.

“I’m sorry you had to see that dragă. Are you okay?” She asks as she takes Tony back, hoping that she’d cleared away enough blood not to scare him.

Tony’s not scared though, he looks like his whole world was turned on its head in the most rage-inducing way possible. Fury wages war with confusion and horror in a mix that brings tears to his eyes. “Mamă?” He warbles and it's so distressed that her heart constricts.

“Shh, dragă. Lumina mea dragă a stelelor. It’s okay, we can build a new computer motherboard. It’ll be like it never happened.” She assures softly.

“I don’t care about the motherboard!” He cries. “You’re hurt! Papa hurt you! He… he…”

It takes a startling second to realize that he is having a panic attack but once it registers she backs up to the closest wall and slides down until she is sitting on the floor, sitting him on her lap. She takes his little hands and places them on her chest then takes a deep breath. “Breathe with me, Tony. Can you do that? Just breathe with me.” She says softly before taking another breath, then another.

It takes a little but then Tony starts copying her. While he’s calming down Anna sets about collecting the motherboard pieces and placing them on a tray, she smiles gratefully when she notices before turning her attention back to Tony.

“I’m okay.” He says, clearly he’s not.

“Tony, dragă. I need you to be honest with me.” She says as she brushes the hair out of his eyes. “Has Papa ever hit you like he just hit mamă?”

“No.” He says quickly, a little too quickly for her liking but she’ll trust it. Her heart couldn’t take it if Marcus had been hurting her baby and she’d not even noticed.

“Okay, has he ever grabbed your arm like he did mamă’s?” His eyes flicker away from her face for a moment which is all of the answer she needs. Forget a quiet divorce, she was going to publicly rip Marcus to shreds. “You don’t need to answer, why don’t we have some snacks then do some fun science, hmm?”

They end up eating the snacks in her lab while fixing his motherboard, he’s a little hesitant to order her around but when she keeps following them curiously he becomes bolder. Well, her ease at letting him order her around and the fact that she won’t let him touch the smouldering gun. By the time he’s more yawns than words they’d managed to make it bigger, well on its way to being a supercomputer motherboard than a regular one.

“We can test it tomorrow.” She promises as she scoops him up, smiling fondly at his grumpy face.

“I’m not ti *yawn* red.” He scowls as the word is broken up like his body is betraying him.

“Tomorrow, dragă.” She hums as she walks to his room. Her heels echo in the silent halls and she fights the frown, it hadn’t always been this quiet, had it? She pushes the thought away and smiles at Anna who was holding the door open with one hand and holding a tray of hot cocoa with the other. “Thank you, Anna.”

“Stay?” Tony asks as she sits him down on the bed. His suit jacket had been forgotten in the lab and his sleeves had been pushed up, crumpling them. She would have been upset about this before and she can’t even remember why. It upsets her to be confronted again with her failings.

“Pajamas first.” She promises, as much as she wants to lay down with him right now she knows she won't be able to breathe in her dress horizontally. “Anna will help get everything ready, okay?”

“Anna should help you.” Tony insists making her smile, her little knight in shining titanium armour. She hears the approaching roar of the Lincoln Continental at the same time Tony does, his head snapping towards his window as his hands tighten on her dress.

“Anna is staying with you.”

“But…” Tony starts but she’s quick to dislodge his hands.

“Anna, you have my full permission to use excessive force in protecting Antony. Marcus’ orders mean nothing as of now.”

“Understood,” Anna answers with a nod, setting down the tray of coco and pulling open the section of wall above Tony’s bed. His rapid blinking of shock as Anna pulls out a Stark Glock and loads it settles a little weight in her chest, she’d honestly been worried he’d find the stashes of weapons around the house until she died last time. Weapons she was going to upgrade the hell out of as soon as she dealt with Marcus.

“Wait!” Tony cries as she finishes closing the bedroom door. It’s upsetting but she pushes the feeling down and stalks down the hall, opening the safe in the wall corner and pulling out a set of Vibranium knives.

She continues with them hidden behind her back until she’s standing at the top of the stairs, watching the front door. She’s not sure where he has been, nor how angry he still is. She didn’t think he’d try and hurt Tony but then again she didn’t think he’d hit her either.

The door opens and Jarvis walks in, alone. “Master Stark has decided to stay at his… friend’s house this evening. He has requested that I retrieve him in the morning.”

She sighs and lets her hands fall into view, dropping the knives onto the table beside her with the mental note to put them back before heading down the stairs. “You don’t have to tip-toe around it, Edwin. He’s staying at his lover's place. Thank you for not killing him outright, good help is hard to find.”

“It was very difficult, he had a lot to say during the ride,” Jarvis admits with a tight jaw.

“Then I thank you again for putting up with him, now and before. I hadn’t realised how bad he’d gotten.”

“It’s not your fault, ma’am.” He insists but it is. “Is the Young Master asleep?” He asks as his eyes sweep the entrance hall.

“No, we were about to have a sleepover. Anna is with him, be sure to talk before you open the door. I wasn’t sure how much further Marcus would take it tonight.”

“A fair assumption. Will you be coming up with me?”

“No, I need to get changed. I’ll be there soon though.”

He nods and heads up, putting the knives away for her as he goes. Leaving her there with her thoughts. She’s only been here for a few hours and so much has changed. Marcus had never struck her before and had never been so blatant with his lovers. Tony had never clung to her so tightly either. Everything was different and yet, even with the sharp stinging of her split lip, she can’t regret it.