A spider and a kun-lun warrior train at a bridge—wait that’s not how the joke goes..ah whatever, a spider and a Kun-Lun warrior train at a bridge then get random attacked by a..ninja?!(PT 1/?)
The sun rose up from behind a snowy mountain, illuminating what looks to be a large concrete field and its surrounding background temples and steep stone walkways leading down to the field and yellow flags. A loud battle cry rang out as our favorite spider themed hero in a ridiculous yellow..actually..what is that thing? Is it a jumpsuit? Whatever—in a ridiculous yellow jump suit jumped into frame striking an equally ridiculous pose. The lower half of his mask pulled up showing off his cocky smirk, behind him a yellow and white gradient title card dramatically pulled up with the sound of a gong thrumming through the air reading
KUNG FU SPIDER-MAN ᵀᴴᴱNINJAS OF DOOM
“A lone arachnid against impossible odds you say?” Spider man questioned out loud—more to himself(and you, dear viewers), moving his arms in a way I can’t describe for the life of me. Just then a whole gaggle of ninjas came out of nowhere, bearing pointy swords that should definitely not be near a secretly twelve year olds vicinity range but despite them cornering the arachnid like that one scene from Jurassic park. Spider-man still managed to stay confident, teched out hello kitty watch gleaming in the sunlight as he moved his upper body, making it turn and taking in the six enemies with a cocky demeanor
“Don’t make me laugh!”..he then proceeded to finish that sentence off with the fakest sounding laugh ever, that cocky smirk still on his face as he put his hands on his hips before pointing a hand at the nearest ninja—his tone almost like scolding a child(huh, wonder how he picked that tone up?.) as he opened his big mouth and said “Your kung fu is no match for my—“, sadly, Spidey’s little daydream had to come to an end as the familiar sound of a ‘KIHYA!’ Rang through the air followed by the sound of a truck blaring its horn, the zen background replaced by a starless night sky, the ropes of the bridge they were on and a city. Spider-Man barely had time to turn around and lean back before the sole of Danny’s costume came short to his face “Foot!..”
Danny, who knew Peter and knew his ass was daydreaming earlier frowned a bit—the place where his eyebrows were underneath that yellow bandana furrowed comically “Better than to pay attention than to pay for mistakes.” Iron fist scolded which made Peter roll his eyes underneath his mask, salty that his ass got caught and called out “Better not have a coupon than not pay at all!” He retorted, slapping Danny’s foot away by the ankle sending him momentarily off balance. Seeing this he decided it would be a good time to land a hit, bouncing on the toe of his shoe before jumping up and attempting to deliver a swing kick that ultimately didn’t work as the green and yellow clad hero regained his balance, kept himself crouched until the move was done and propelled himself backwards and away from his teammate
“Wise, AND easy on the wallet!” Spider mused—delivering a classically taunting come at me gesture which iron fist gladly took with a cry. Running at the spider themed hero as they exchanged blow with Spidey taking the blunt of it half the time but also landing some as well, Danny landing a blow at Peter’s jaw sending him tumbling and crashing on concrete. Danny faltered for a moment, forgetting that Peter takes harder hits on a daily(he’s not sure if he should laugh or cry about that)
Arms lowering slightly from their position as he opened his mouth to apologize because oh my god he punched his own secretly twelve year old team mate that definitely should not be fighting crime and is like his own little brother before Peter shot up his free hand in a thumbs up—his other hand rubbing his jaw which definitely made a small cracking noise when Danny’s fist connected with it but that’s fine!(no, it in fact isn’t.). The world went grey and stopped for a moment, all except Spider-Man who looked perfectly colored and animated as he looked at the screen, a small concerned frown practically heard in his tone despite the mask covering his face
“Not for nothing..but my weekly sparring sesh with iron fist is really un-zen today..” Peter muttered, moving his jaw to the left and right a few times and wincing as it snapped crackled and popped before it felt good again as the world gained its color and continued around him. Sitting up and squinting at the Older teen accusingly “What is it with you?.” Peter asked—though, Iron fist only responded with “Patience take practice and practice makes perfect.” in a tone of a seasoned advice giver, taking a few steps forward until he was a few inches away from Spider-Man’s feet and crossing his arms like a mother “The spirit of a kun-lun warrior beats in you. Spider..” ..oh..kay? Whatever that means?..the world turned gray and stopped once more as Peter looked at the invisible audience like you knew the answer to what that meant
Like clockwork—the world around him returned to normal as Peter groaned and childishly flopped onto his elbows and peered up at the starless sky that was slowly having a gradient of purple while the blue slowly turned lighter—if only he had his camera with him.. “Speaking of beating..” he trialed off, eyes trailing over to his webbed gloves up on one of the bridges support beams “I’m getting tired of this one..can I have my web shooters back cuz I’d like to start..you know, winning?” danny frowned more at that and shook his head, rejecting the others request “There is no dishonor to be found in one’s abilities. Your web shooter are only a tool, You are more.” Huh..you know that was actually pretty inspiring, a warm feeling swirled in Spideys gut that quickly replaced with sulk as iron fist took stance and demanded they go again
Peter sighed, taking a minute to contemplate everything before swinging himself up like a reverse horse bucking something and landing on his feet, running at Iron fist and took another attempt at a swinging kick—it was more like a flying axe kick actually..whatever that is, the author doesn’t fight leave me alone—anyways, again. The attack missed in count of iron fist blocking it with his forearm and knocking Spider-Man’s foot away though it seems like spidey learned the art of balance as he spun of his toe after the knock off and delivered a regular axe kick with a cry that would’ve hit if Iron fist didn’t block with his forearms again.
The two exchanged blows that were both delivered and taken before it turned into a one sided punching and blocking match, iron fist looking behind him and deflecting his friends punches reflexively while spidey’s own attacks faltered “Kyah! Yow! Hiyaah! Yyyoure not even paying attention are you!” Spideys attacks stopped as this time HE took on the scolding tone that almost sounded like a child(I mean..) being upset that you didn’t watch his ‘very cool trick’. Danny looks over his shoulder back at Peter apologetically before looking back behind him making the spider themed hero cross his arms and huff “There’s something in the air.”
Danny ever so ominously said making Peter huff..again, though he straightened up again and inched closer to Danny as the fog around them(well, the bridge) densed up, feeling a prickling sense of..something but brushed it of(stupid ass) considering his spidey sense didn’t go off “That smell? It’s just Brooklyn.” He waved a hand dismissively though it laid limp once Danny shook his head—said male inching backwards and extending an arm like an impromptu barrier or a sign to stay back as the older brother instincts he developed once he found out Peter was actually twelve and not fifteen kicked in “Change is coming.” And before Danny could elaborate he jolted and whipped around—shouting a warning and before Peter could blink shards of yellow and black painted concrete were flying in the air towards his direction
A large chuck came up just in time to block the red and blue spandexed hero’s face from what could’ve been death as three THUNKS connected with the chuck, Spider-Man stumbling back once the concrete piece dropped back onto the ground right by his feet as a saw daggers inlaid on the miracle bit that saved his face(and head) “That..” he blinked slowly, taking in the weapons before turning his head up to iron fist who scanned their perimeter “..That was faster than my spidey sense..” Spider-Man finally finished. Iron fist—wrongfully assuming that everything was in the green—turned around back to the red and blue spandexed hero to probably say something before spinning back around and leaping back just as..someone came out from the thick fog and attempted to deliver an axe kick to his head(seriously, what’s up with all these axe kicks?)
Unfortunately the stranger seemed to be versed in combat—if the daggers laying oh so innocently on the ground wasn’t a clear memo—as the moment their attackers two feet hit the ground once more they spun on the sole of their shoes and ran to the duos side a foot away from them..for whatever reason. “Ninja?!—Ive never kicked ninja booty before!” “This is no game. Remember, arrogance comes before the fall.” Peter sent a pointed look at Danny for that remark but shrugged because, fair, he does deserve that reminder. Unfortunately again Spider-Man wasn’t given time to retort as the green, black and gold armor plated attacker crouched before pushing off at the soles of their shoes, running at them with a grunt and leaping way higher than the average person should leap as iron fist tried to serve him..you guessed it! An axe kick!
The stranger decided to go for spidey over here who was too busy processing the speed and jump as they landed behind him in a crouch and kicked his ankles sending him tumbling to the side with a groan—Danny wasted no time in acting running over to assist with Adrenalin spiked veins as he caught Spider-Man, though, unfortunately this caused them both to be subjected to a combo attack as the moment Spider-Man landed in iron fists arms the ninja delivered undoubtedly painful and speedy kicks to Spider-Man’s stomach, abdomen and face simultaneously, the recoil also affecting Iron Fist and causing them to bounce off of each other like a punching bag on a string before the ninja delivered the final kick sending them both a few feet away—scratch that, they actually went falling off the bridge. “AND ME WITHOUT MY WEBSHOOTERS!” Spidey wailed as they fell down, getting closer and closer to the water.