“Huh? It’s weird for you to want to talk, Bocchi-chan.”
Nijika-chan’s eyes pierce me.
Her smile threatens me with a nice conversation,
although I am the one that wants this.
I look at my shoes,
straight down.
Even if my neck hurts,
the sight helps me calm down.
“T-There is this-this uh… this thing…”
“Something’s haunting you, right?”
“...E-Eh?”
“You’ve been far too gone lately. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice?”
Woah…
Senpai powers…
Maybe I’ll have those someday…
I am invited to take a seat,
and,
of course,
that leaves me no choice but to do so.
“So, what’s wrong? Does it have to do with your vampire stuff?”
…
“R-Remember that day we went to see the stars?”
[Reminiscing]
“Let’s go stargazing tonight!”
“Huuh… Why.”
It didn’t take long for Ryo-san to passively reject Nijika-chan’s request.
“What do you mean why? Look at this!”
Nijika-chan holds a magazine for everyone to see.
[Meteor shower]
“Hmm… Those aren’t that rare.”
“Oh, come on! It’ll be the four of us, together! It will be fun! What do you think, Kita-chan?”
“Sure! We should go! I know the perfect place!”
Kita-chan looks at the corner,
or rather at me standing there.
“Do you want to come, Hitori-chan?”
A soothing voice,
and a gentle smile.
“Y-Yes…”
“There you have it, Ryo! It’s a three versus one!”
“Uuuuuuh… Okaay…”
Ryo-san looks down,
and accepts her fate.
Thus,
it was settled,
that night,
Kessoku band will go stargazing at Kita-chan´s perfect place.
And that place,
that mysterious location to watch stars,
turned out to be just a hill in the middle of the forest,
the same hill I laid on with Kita-chan after the vampire incident.
“Wooah! It’s so quiet in here… And the sky looks so pretty! Good choice, Kita-chan!”
Nijika-chan gives a thumbs up.
Meanwhile,
Ryo-san,
who was being dragged by Nijika-chan,
had a grumpy look on her face.
But the moment she was dropped on the floor,
she cuddled with the grass,
and became one with nature.
Soon,
the three of us laid with her,
and stared at the sky,
waiting for the fleeting stars to come.
[...]
The lights above blink,
but no movement takes place.
It’s kind of lonely,
but the sky looks pretty enough for me to not want to look away.
[...]
[...]
Isn’t this taking too long?
I feel like I’ve waited an eternity at this point.
[Eternity]
…Huh,
the idea never crossed my mind,
but now that I think about it,
since I’m a vampire,
I’m pretty much immortal, aren’t I?
[...]
Well,
even if everything I know disappears,
Kita-chan will always be there with me…
Still,
the thought is pretty scary.
A life that goes beyond everything known,
and leads to an endless loneliness.
[...]
[...]
[...]
Was this meant to take this long?
I feel like the meteor shower should have happened by now.
Maybe it was…
Nijika-chan should know…
She was the one that read that magazine afterall.
If only I could ask-
[No one]
Eh?
Why is there nobody here?
…Oh no,
I must have fallen asleep…
Aah…
How embarrassing…
I should just…
go home and forget about this.
…
[Ruins]
…Eh?
…I don’t remember the city looking like this…
It’s…
so deserted,
and destroyed.
Every single building seems like it’s about to crumble.
Every window is broken,
and the glass shards still lie on the floor.
And above all,
there is no one here.
I can’t see a single person.
I can’t hear a single person.
I can’t feel any presence.
From what I can tell,
I am the only person here.
That leaves me no choice but one,
to rush to the closest place I care about,
that is to say,
Kita-chan’s home.
The door,
or rather,
the doorless entrance,
shows a destroyed house.
As expected,
there is nobody inside.
All the furniture is ravaged.
All the rooms look like they have been empty for ages.
That includes Kita-chan’s room.
[...]
The trip outside is quieter,
lonelier.
…
Without an objective,
I wander aimlessly through the streets,
hoping to end up in my house.
It’s not like I expect anyone to be there,
but maybe lying on my bed for a while will help me get over this.
…
[Music]
“Eh?”
[Guitar]
…
I chase after the sound,
not even thinking about it.
The loneliness is so overwhelming
that the thought of meeting someone
drives me to run so fast I can barely breathe.
Finally,
I reach the source of the sound,
and while I take a long time to regain air,
while I inhale,
and exhale,
and take way too much time to get back to normal,
I see the sign.
[Starry]
…
The guitar,
although it sounds broken,
has the clear intention of playing a solo of mine.
The person playing,
who is so focused she doesn’t hear me walk in,
is sitting on stage,
facing the wall.
Every note played conveys the same feeling,
melancholy.
…
“…Kita…-chan…”
My voice stops her playing.
It’s not sudden.
It doesn’t feel like she is surprised,
more like she is relieved.
Her head turns around,
so slowly,
but ever so steady.
Her eyes…
They are so baggy…
Her pupils are really constricted,
almost like she hasn’t seen light in days…
“Hitori…-chan…”
[...]
She sheds bloody tears.
Her lips tremble.
In fact,
whenever she tries move,
her body twitches uncontrollably,
like she lacks the strength to move.
[Frail]
“...What happened?”
I walk towards her,
and she seems to back away a bit.
“Y-You disappeared…”
“What…?”
“That night… When the meteor shower ended… You weren’t there anymore… You vanished…”
…
“A-And the buildings?”
“The buildings…? That was time’s doing…”
[Time]
“H-How much time has it been…?”
Kita-chan looks down to think for a moment,
a long moment…
How long has it been for her to take this much…?
…
This pause is giving me a bad feeling…
She keeps her head down,
not wanting to do eye contact.
“A thousand years…”
[Thousand]
“...”
…
After so long,
after so many things,
there is no way anything I know remains.
The whole world,
my world,
has ended long ago,
but I’m still here.
…
[Grab]
…
[Faint grab]
…Kita-chan tries to grab my hand,
but her grip is too weak for me to feel it.
“I… I missed you so much…”
Her blood stains the floor.
…
I hug her.
“...I-I’m sorry…”
I apologize,
even if I don’t know what I did to cause all of this.
I just felt like I had to.
She hugs me back,
or at least tries.
“Can I… drink your blood?”
I nod.
Her fangs sink in my neck.
She drinks so weakly,
almost as if she is hesitating.
“H-How did you drink without me…?”
…
“...I didn’t”
[...]
[That explains a lot.]
A thousand years without drinking…
She must have suffered so much…
[...]
Kita-chan takes her time to drink.
She does it slowly and for a long time.
She has to compensate for those years after all.
[...]
Her fangs let go of my neck,
and with blood still dripping from her lips,
she manages to stare at my face.
“Thank you… Hitori-chan…”
“Y-You’re welcome…”
Although now she can move,
she looks just as frail.
Her smile is so weak.
…
“I want to go see my house, Kita-chan…”
“A-Ah… Sure…”
She grabs my hand,
and we walk together.
Her grip,
the more we hold hands,
and whenever I get a bit further away,
becomes stronger.
“Y-You’re hurting me…”
“Ah, I’m sorry, Hitori-chan…”
…
My house,
as any other,
is absolutely destroyed.
At least half of my door is still there…
Inside,
my furniture,
my things,
my memories,
have all withered away.
The stand of my guitar has rotted,
and my guitar is nowhere to be seen.
“I took it once mine broke… It reminded me of you… It was the one I was playing there, actually.”
“Hmm…”
Before leaving,
I check inside the mailbox,
maybe there is something.
And something there is,
a single letter remains,
written for me.
The paper is yellow,
about to turn into dust any minute now.
A careless movement could transform it into nothing but air.
However,
it still remains,
thanks to the metal box that has contained it all of this time.
And it is because of that box that I’m able to read it now,
that’s why I have to say:
“Thank you mailbox…”
I faintly whisper my gratitude,
causing Kita-chan to make a really confused sound behind me.
Ugh…
With all of this emptiness I had forgotten someone could hear me…
How embarrassing…
Still…
It’s Kita-chan,
she’s seen me do worse things,
so it should be fine…
With all that done,
I start reading the barely visible ink.
“Dear Bocchi-chan,
It’s been a month since anyone has seen you.
To be honest,
I have no idea what happened,
and I don’t really know if you will ever read this,
but I wanted to inform you on how things are now.
Probably a text message would have been better for this,
however,
I’ve been wanting to write a letter for some time now,
so please bear with me.
To begin with,
due to your disappearance,
we’ve had to dissolve Kessoku band.
We think there is no one who can replace you,
so we had no choice.
Ryo and I have been able to mostly get over it,
but Kita-chan is a different story.
She has locked herself in her room,
she doesn’t reply to our messages,
and whenever we go visit her,
she only plays her guitar from the other side of the door.
I’m aware that you two were really close,
but I can’t help but worry.
In any case,
I’ve started to lose hope in you returning.
If you were to return,
I would be really happy,
but it doesn’t seem like that is possible anymore.
Goodbye, Bocchi-chan.
Nijika Ichiji.”
[...]
“Hitori-chan..:? Are you okay…?”
A hand gently grabs my shoulder.
“Ah! Y-Yes!”
I hastily put the letter back in the envelope,
and try to shove it back inside the mailbox.
[Dust]
…
I didn’t really think that through…
But there is no way to undo that now…
“...”
“C-Can you come with me, Hitori-chan? There is something I want to do with you…”
“...S-Sure, what is it…?”
Kita-chan holds my hand and guides me to the outskirts of town.
“Before I became so weak I couldn’t move, I sneaked everyday to the hill you disappeared on. Even when you weren’t with me, I could feel your presence there. It gave me the hope that you would return one day…”
She holds my hand tightly.
Way too tightly…
[Silence]
“Remember that day we went to see the stars, Hitori-chan?”
“W-What about it?”
“We never got to finish it…”
Kita-chan takes me to the middle of the forest.
Despite all the time that has passed,
this place looks just like it always did.
We stop on the tallest part,
but Kita-chan doesn’t let go of my hand.
She holds me closer,
way too close,
so close that,
when she turns around,
I can see something behind her faint smile.
[Fear]
…
She is afraid of me.
I will do her no good.
[...]
“Kita-chan…”
She stares at me.
Those yellow eyes of her tremble,
like they do with every action I make.
“Goodbye.”
It’s over.
It’s all over.
Although she doesn’t want to admit it,
although not everything is concluded,
there is nothing else to do.
[...]
Kita-chan is surprised,
hurt,
her eyes widen,
and her pupils contract.
She takes a second to process what just happened.
[...]
Her mouth twists into a smile,
her head tilts,
and her voice loses all taint of pain,
sadness,
or fear.
“Goodbye.”
Kita-chan is happy,
or rather,
relieved.
Her hand lets go off mine,
and her expression gives off a pleasant feeling.
[Kitaura]
It’s not her usual aura.
It’s still warm,
but this one feels worn out.
Kita-chan starts to fade away.
Her hand turns into dust,
and it is scattered by the wind.
Soon,
her arm is gone too,
and then the rest of her.
The last thing to disappear,
the last thing I would ever be able to feel of her,
is her light,
the only light I could ever bask in.
…
[Silence]
“...”
[Loneliness]
I drop to the floor.
With Kita-chan gone,
it’s only a matter of time before I turn into dust as well.
Since our bond has disappeared,
our vampirism will too,
and the weight of those thousand years will come to crush me,
just like it did to her.
The night sky,
the black canvas that allows starlight to shine,
looks just like it always did,
almost as if no time had happened.
The same stars stand on top of me.
I close my eyes,
and allow them to look at me one last time.
[...]
“Haah…!”
[Sound]
“That was so pretty…!”
[People]
I open my eyes.
Nijika-chan is getting up from the floor.
“Ryo! Don’t tell me you fell asleep!”
“Hmm… I couldn’t help it. It feels so good here…”
“Come on! It’s getting late!”
She tries to lift the deadweight that is Ryo-senpai from the ground.
Kita-chan gets up from the floor,
stares at me,
and offers me a hand.
“Hitori-chan, we have to go.”
I grab her hand.
Her touch is soft,
gentle,
something I hadn’t felt in ages.
The four of us walk home.
In the end,
I couldn’t see a single meteor.
…
But there is nothing I can do about it.
[End of reminiscing]
“Aah? So you fell asleep while we were stargazing?”
I look away.
“I don’t know. I’m not sure that was a dream…”
…
“...So that’s what has been troubling you? Kita turning into dust in a dream?”
Nijika-chan tries to convince me that it wasn't real,
but it doesn't work…
“Not really…”
I do my best to stare into her eyes.
“It’s not her disappearing, it’s the face she made while doing so. I can’t forget that aura…”
She takes a moment to think.
“Did you tell her?”
I shake my head.
“I told no one… I don’t want Kita-chan to know about this…”
“Well… You can’t really know if it was real, you know?”
“...What?”
“If you think about it, there is no way to know if the past happened or not. Since it’s gone, it’s impossible to see it again.”
“Uh… I guess you are right…”
“So in regards to if it was a dream or not, there is no point thinking about it.”
Nijika-chan smiles a bit.
She is clearly trying to cheer me up with all she has.
“And about that face… Haven’t you wondered how she survived a thousand years despite you not being there?”
I stare at my feet.
It helps me think.
“Because she went to that hill every day, right?”
“Not quite. Don’t you remember she had to stop going?”
“...Right.”
She waits for my answer for a short time before answering herself.
“It’s because she never let go of you.”
“Eh?”
“During all of those years, she did all she could to keep your relationship going. The reason she went to that hill wasn’t because it reminded her of you, it was because she had the hope of seeing you there one day. That’s why, when she was unable to move anymore, she continued on as a vampire. She maintained your bond by going there in spite of your absence, and once said absence had weakened both her and your bond, she chose to cling to it no matter what instead of accepting reality.”
[...]
“T-Then why did she turn to dust so easily…?”
“Deep down, she must have had accepted that you were gone, yet she kept going to see you once more. She wanted to finish seeing the stars with you, right?”
I nod.
“That’s because she wanted to bring an end to your relationship. In other words, she kept going not to see you again, but to conclude what she started with you.”
[...]
“W-Why would she do that…?”
“Well, think about it. You disappeared pretty abruptly. If you were to never see each other again, wouldn’t it be nice to say goodbye?”
[...]
“I-I guess so…”
I stay silent for a moment,
and so does Nijika-chan.
She is smiling to reassure me that everything will be fine.
…
That silence is broken by the door opening.
A pair of shoes can be seen going down the stairs.
Immediately,
I stand up.
“K-Kita-chan! Good morning!”
Before replying,
she walks down until we are face to face.
She smiles,
and her aura shines brightly.
“Good morning!”