“So peanut, if this works, what's the first thing you are going to do back in your universe?” asked Deadpool, trying to make small talk to disperse some of the tension. What is up her ass and why isn't it me?
This did not have the effect she was hoping for. Logan gave that angry glare she always gives whenever Deadpool says anything, but this one had more confusion behind it.
“Sorry, say that again?” She spat, getting angrier by the second. And Deadpool had no idea why. She wasn’t being super fidgety, she didn’t think she was doing anything annoying, but that's always subjective when it comes to the people around her. I should really think about getting tested for ADHD .
“Your universe?” Deadpool guessed.
“No, before that.” Logan growled.
“If this works?” Deadpool asked again, still a bit confused. Logan let out a roar, slammed on the breaks, and turned to Deadpool.
“IF? IF THIS WORKS? You have no idea if they are going to put my universe back together, do you? You LIED TO ME.” Logan burst out, still growling like the little animal she was.
“Alright, you got me, I made an educated wish!” Deadpool responded. Slice.Shit, she pulled her claws out. Logan stabbed Deadpool in the thigh.
“Fuck! Look, I needed a way to get you to come with me! You wouldn’t listen any other way.” Deadpool pleaded, knowing that Logan didn’t care about why. She had just learned that her whole universe was still going to shit. And boy do I know what that feels like .
She pulled the picture out of one of her pockets.
“This, this is why, right here, cause if we don’t do something, they die.” Deadpool was shaking a little. Stop being a little bitch .
“I don’t know anything about saving worlds, and why would I even care, because my entire world is right here in this picture,” she snapped, pointing to the polaroid with everyone she’d ever loved on it. “It's only nine people, and I have no idea how to save it alone.”
Logan’s claws were still embedded in Deadpool’s thigh, but she could barely feel them. She was breathing heavily, listening to all of the excuses, valid or not, that Deadpool came up with,
“I know how to fuck people up for money, but you, you know how to save them.” She almost yelled, pointing that photo at Logan. There was a very heavy, silent pause.
“An educated…fucking…wish?” Logan said quietly, rage seething in her eyes. Oh shit, it's never good when they go quiet .
“No wonder the Avengers wouldn’t take you, or the X-Men, and they’ll taking fucking anyone,” Logan laughed with disbelief. “You are the most self-centered, arrogant, hyperactive-ridden, attention starved person I’ve ever met, and that says a lot, because I’ve been alive for more than two hundred fucking years .”
Ouch, nothing I haven't heard before though.
As she continued she got louder and louder, until she was nearly shouting. “And if I know one thing about you, its that you will never, ever, save the fucking world. Your girlfriend left you, and she’s a goddamn stripper .” She yelled, face getting red.
That dirty little knife handed gremlin. Bitch ass brought Vanessa into it.
“Motherfucker, I wish I could say you will die alone, but it’s one of God’s-,” she slammed the ceiling of the car, “- best jokes that you can’t die .”
I wish everyday that I could, believe me.
Deadpool looked straight into those sad, fierce, brown eyes.
“I’m gonna fight you now.”
Logan laughed, completely baffled by Deadpool’s seriousness.
“Oh, are you-” her head snapped back as Deadpool threw a single punch to her nose.
Logan’s smile disappeared. There you are. Come and get me. She grabbed Deadpool by the head and smashed her into the car radio. They both heard “Wooooooah ohhh oh oh ah!” Logan bashed Deadpool’s head into the radio one more time, and the sweet sound of Sandy’s voice washed over them.
I got chiiiiiiiiiilllllsssss, they’re multiplying.
Logan seatbelted Deadpool into the passenger seat, and then stabbed her in the stomach with her claws, twisting.
“Not talking now, are you?” she rumbled into Deadpool’s ear. Kinky .
Deadpool reclined the seat and grabbed Logan's head between her knees, smashing her on the passenger side door. Logan was scrambling for leverage, and finally got her head out from between Deadpool’s legs. She lifted her hand and brought her claws down on Deadpool's side.
Deadpool moaned, “You dirty bitch.” And Logan froze for a milisecond, allowing Deadpool to boot her out through the front windshield and onto the ground outside. Logan rolled, and whipped out her claws, crouched and ready. Deadpool came through the front with her katanas, only for the other woman to ram the car, sending her flying into the back seat.
Logan jumped in after Deadpool, pinning her in the second row and going to town on her midsection with the claws, while Deadpool struggled to get her katanas into Logan. She flipped them, and ended up on top, stabbing Logan through the abdomen.
Yes, stabbing each other is a metaphor for sex. The writers had to keep it stricly R violence and not R sexual. But once the cameras cut…
Logan grazed Deadpool’s neck, splattering herself as she cackled, baring her teeth to the woman above her.
Fuck, why does she look so good covered in blood? Must be the sadist in me.
Deadpool distracted for the moment, Logan booted her straight up through the roof of the Toyota Odyssey. She landed on her back outside, and kipped up to see Logan’s hand beckoning her back into the car. This bitch is asking for more than she can handle . She threw her katanas aside, and grabbed her pressing daggers, and leapt into the car.
They proceeded like this for some time, Deadpool making innuendos and Logan being the right amount of angry. At some point, they had smashed the radio, so it was silent except for the heavy breathing, moans, and growls. Somehow, Deadpool ended up in the back row of the car, legs sprawled open, knife in hand.
I know I look hot right now.
“I take it all back, the Honda Odyssey fucks hard .” She rolled her head around as she said it, getting ready for a new wave of attacks from Logan. “Too bad you don’t, peanut.”
”Oh, we’re just gettin’ started, bub.”
Logan launched herself through the Honda. She inserted both claws on either side of Deadpool’s waist, while Deadpool proceeded to do the same with her knife. But instead of continuing their frenzy of claws and blades, Logan looked straight into Deadpool’s eyes, and in one swift motion, ripped off her mask and devoured her mouth.
I would like to say I knew this was coming. The teamup of the century and they are just going to be platonic besties?? No, there were just too many repressed emotions (most of them sexual). But that doesn’t mean I’m still not going to enjoy the moment.
Logan’s claws pressed deeper into Deadpool’s abdomen as she deepened the kiss, and Deadpool gasped, either delighted or in pain, or maybe both knowing her. She pushed Logan back a bit, and then made eye contact while pulling her knife out of Logan’s side. She replaced the knife with her hand, guiding Logan back onto her lap.
They continued their kiss, and Deadpool’s hands rovved over every bit of Logan’s perfectly taute body. She was still pinned in place by Logan's claws, but as the kiss got more heated, Logan retracted them, sending a shiver down Deadpool’s body. Logan kept biting her bottom lip, and it felt wonderful . It was like Logan wanted to taste every bit of her mouth. She loosely put a hand at the base of Logan’s neck, searching for the zipper that would allow her access to Logan’s body.
“Not yet” Logan growled into Deadpool’s mouth.
She found the waist of Deadpool’s suit, and got to work taking off her belt with one hand, while the other wrapped lightly around Deadpool’s neck.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, how the fuck is Logan going to fuck me silly if my whole suit is one piece? Well, I’ll let you in on a little secret. It’s two pieces for this exact reason.
The pants came off, but not the underwear with tiny Wolverine faces all over.
“God, you are so fucking stupid.” Logan said, taking in the sight of a pantless Deadpool.
“Well, are you just gonna stare peanut, or are you gonna fuck me like it's Christmas Day?” Deadpool replied, smirking at Logan.
Logan pushed one claw out of each of her fists, and ran the blades gently up Deadpool’s thighs, not drawing blood. When she reached the underwear, she sliced both sides off in one quick motion. With Deadpool’s center exposed, she got on her knees in the aisle of the Honda Odyssey, and looked up at Deadpool, feral lust in her eyes.
“That’s right, pray to Marvel Jesus baby.” Deadpool allowed Logan to place one leg on the kneeling girl's shoulders, and the other on the second row seat. Logan licked the slick folds of Deadpool’s center, drawing out a small moan from the blonde. She wrapped her hands around Deadpool’s thighs and dove deeper into her, pushing her tongue into the smooth muscle inside.
“Fuck, thats a good girl.” Deadpool panted as Logan began circling her clit, and her fingers had magically appeared in Deadpool’s center, pumping slowly at first, but building speed.
The combination of tongue and fingers was making Deadpool’s hips buck, and Logan wasn’t having it.
“Stop moving, you cunt.” Logan rumbled. Deadpool wasn’t listening, the pleasure building in her core, her hips moving with her need. Finally, Logan had enough, and she put on of her fists to the side of Deadpool’s waist, and pushed her claws out, piercing through Deadpool and into the seat below them.
“Shit - what the fuck - ow - oh fuck . Oh fuck Logan. Ke-keep going!” Deadpool panted out, clearly pleased with the claws in her side. Logan resumed her licking and pumping, creating more and more slick, which she lapped up happily. Deadpool’s moans were growing steadily louder, and her words were getting dirtier as well.
“Logan - fuck you - I’m gonna turn you inside out - later.” She promised, whining right after, repeating Logan's name over and over again like a chant.
“Christ - fuck - bitch - I’m gonna come - fuck - keep going !” Logan’s tongue was licking up and down, fingers pumping quickly as she retracted her claws, letting Deadpool buck freely. As she climaxed, she let out the hottest moan Logan had ever heard, and threw her head back in pleasure, reaching down to grab Logan’s hair and force her into her cunt, riding out the orgasm.
Logan slowed her fingers and then removed them, still licking Deadpool’s juices up. Deadpool’s head slowly lifted up from the headrest, eyes heavily lidded, and looked at Logan.
“Guess we finally gave the people what they came for.”