Chaos Wars

“You know, Stark,” Nick Fury said as he walked up to the billionaire, who was at that moment relaxing in a café chair that somehow was supporting the weight of his armor, “I have never met a man that caused me more headaches than you do.” The two SHIELD agents, including Agent Coulson, stopped behind him and remained utterly still. They had been monitoring the situation in Berlin and while he had expected some problems to arise, especially when he’d been forced to rely on Stark, he hadn’t expected a bunch of new figures to suddenly pop up and make the situation so much worse.

“That’s fair,” Tony said after a moment. “I was always told that I had a great skill at causing headaches. Family. Friends. Girlfriends. Enemies. Its my superpower. Also causing people to get gray hairs but I guess you don’t need to worry about that too much.”

“You do realize that if he wanted to he could poison you and you’d never know it, right?” Kayos asked, raising an eyebrow. He was leaning against a wall, arms crossed over his chest, watching as Thor and Goku continued to trade blows though their fight had relaxed quite a bit and was more the two showing off what throws and punches they knew. The Pharaoh and Edwin were at another table testing out the Pharaoh’s Duel Band; the Pharaoh had completely forgotten that Edwin had given him it and was currently practicing changing it into something other than a Duel Disc.

Tony smirked. “He can’t kill me. He needs me.”

“Who said anything about kill? Plenty of poisons that could cause you a ton of pain. Make it so that your bowels are always cramping up or that your joints feel like they are made of stone. Hell, just slip you the same stuff they give people before a colonoscopy right before you are supposed to give a big speech and watch you shit your pants on National Television…”

Tony’s arrogant smirk had slowly fallen as Kayos rambled on about all the ways the head of SHIELD could make his life miserable. Not helped by the fact that Fury remained utterly stonefaced. Didn’t smile. Didn’t nod. Didn’t chuckle. Just stared on. Like he was annoyed that Kayos was revealing his secrets.

“…who thinks like that?” Tony got out.

“Kayos does!” Goku said happily as he walked over to them, wiping his forehead. “He’s really sneaky… it’s a big help when we have to figure out how to deal with bad guys trying to destroy the planet.”

“And maybe we should focus on that?” Edwin asked.

Fury though held up his hand. “First we need to focus on who you people are. You interfered in a SHIELD situation.”

Everyone looked at Edwin.

“What?”

Kayos shrugged. “Even I can sense you are a bigger windbag than me. I think you get the honors.”

That made Edwin sigh but acknowledge the point. “Okay… so the one over there in armor is Thor Odinson of Asgard. He’s not with the rest of us. The four of us-“ he gestured everyone that wasn’t Tony, Fury, or the agents, “-are from different Earths. Multiverse Theory… not so much a theory anymore.” Tony looked like he had about a thousand questions but he had never encountered someone like Edwin who just had the sheer will to speak over him and before he could even open his mouth he continued on. “The Pharaoh and I come from a world where everything revolved a card game.”

“Well great, I suppose if Siegfried wants to play poker we’ll call on you two,” Tony joked.

The Pharaoh though frowned. “While Duel Monsters might be an important part of our world it isn’t the only way we’ve battled. Magic exists in our world. Lots of dark magic.” Edwin and the Pharaoh shared a look before they made their eyes glow; white and gold for Edwin and black and gold for the Pharaoh.

“Ancient Egyptian artifacts tend to be what we deal with but I have a few more goodies.” Edwin held out his hand and his cane flew into his palm.

“Oh!” Goku said. “Kayos has a scroll that does that.” That caused Kayos to frown and hold out his hand… and nothing happened. “Kayos?”

“Its coming just… oh boy this might take a moment.”

Edwin decided it was wise just to continue on. “As for these two, Avo Kayos and Son Goku come from a world of fighting and shooting lasers without any technology. Kayos and I are actually from a different universe originally, one where the adventures of the Pharaoh and Goku are well known fictions… as is what is happening to all of you.”

“So… we’re fictional characters in your world?” Fury asked.

“Well, some of you,” Edwin said, gesturing at the agent who’s name he didn’t know. “I don’t remember any comics starring Captain Whatshisname over here. But you Fury? Tony Stark? Agent Phil Coulson? All fictional characters. And all of this, for the two of us, is a movie. The Avengers.”

“Impossible,” the nameless agent stated.

“Probable,” Tony argued. “Multiverse theory allows for that.”

“And,” Thor added, “there is The Bleeding.”

“The Bleeding?” Coulson asked.

“That all bursts of creativity are just people looking into another multiverse. That some people are more in-tuned with seeing through the barrier. My brother Loki is one that suffers from The Bleeding.”

“Kayos and I too,” Edwin said.

“Artists?” Coulson asked.

“Fanfic writers,” Kayos stated.

Tony groaned. “Please tell me its not porn.”

“No but we did some My Little Pony stuff-“ Kayos stated only for Fury to hold up a hand.

“You know what’s going on then,” Fury stated. “What is happening and what will.”

But before Edwin could say a word Tony shook his head. “And he can’t tell us because that might affect things.”

“…no, I can tell you the shit out of all of this.”

“You’ll create a paradox,” Tony argued.

“No I won’t because this isn’t time travel. Its an alternate universe. Now, don’t get me wrong, we’ll most likely alter things… already have, what with Steve getting in the way and then you making things worse.”

Fury narrowed his eyes as he glared at Tony. “Stark… what did you do?”

“…in my defense if you saw a bunch of strangers around the Star Spangled Kid wouldn’t you assume they were Loki’s minions?”

Edwin rolled his eyes. “Because of you Loki now has full mental control of Cap.”

“Fuck,” Kayos muttered.

“What does that mean?” Goku asked, tilting his head.

Thor nodded, also confused. “My brother never had such a power before.”

“It’s the staff he has,” Kayos stated. “It has the Mind Stone within it.” Thor at once went pale at that little information drop.

“I’m guessing that Fabio over there knows what a Mind Stone is?” Tony asked.

Thor nodded. “My father told me of such things. It is one of six relicts, said to allow one to manipulate the forces of the universe. Asgard once held such an item, the Cosmic Cube, but it was left on Earth for-“ He stopped and snapped his head towards Fury.

“Might as well tell them,” Edwin said with a half shrug. “I’ll be revealing far worse.”

“Its… classified.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Edwin snarled. “We are long past that bullshit! In fact… every time you pull that super spy shit I’m dropping a truth bomb. There are aliens known as the Skrulls that can shapeshift into other people and currently there are a bunch of them on Earth who just want to live in peace-“ The agent who wasn’t Coulson took a step back. “-and I’m guessing we have one in our midst.”

Fury held up his hand while Coulson looked over at the other agent and, after a moment, patted him on the shoulder. “Fine. SHIELD has had the cosmic cube since the 40s. We have been studying it, trying to learn its secrets.”

Thor tensed at that. “Thou have no idea how dangerous it is to meddle with such a thing.”

“We-“

But Thor continued on, growing angrier as he spoke. “The Infinity Gems allow one to alter the rules of reality. To do impossible things. In the wrong hands it could result in utter destruction of countless worlds. You have risked all Midgard with thy actions!”

Edwin casually looked at Kayos who shrugged and gestured for him to go ahead. “People who nearly started up another Frost Giant War don’t get to throw stones.” Edwin looked at Tony. “Oh, and you create nearly every villain the heroes of this world are going to face. Honestly I’m surprised Loki didn’t reveal you once spat gum at him and that’s why he’s evil.”

Tony let out a scoff. “I think you’re being a bit, uh, exaggerating-“

“That was a horribly worded sentence,” Kayos muttered.

“-when it comes to my influence.”

“Iron Monger. Whiplash. Coming up will be Killian or whatever that bored ass idiot called himself. Then there is a whole host of villains Spider-Man needs to fight and we are having a LONG discussion about how to mentor a teen you pompous piece of shit because how you treat that boy-“

“We’re getting off track,” the Pharaoh said, cutting Edwin off. “Loki?”

“Right,” Edwin said with a nod. “Sorry about that. Okay… so Loki has the Mind Stone and that’s what he’s used to take control of Cap and Clint. He’s also nabbed the Cosmic Cube. His plan is to summon forth an army, not realizing the army isn’t loyal to him and is going to turn on him the moment his back is turned. We-“ he gestured at himself and Kayos, “-should have enough knowledge to be able to prevent that.”

“But things are different,” Kayos pointed out. “In the movie Loki allowed himself to be captured so he could get onto the helicarrier and upset Bruce Banner enough to turn him into the Hulk while also damaging it… the plan was to kill everyone so he went unopposed.”

“So we need to find Loki now and take him down,” Goku said with determination.

“Right,” Edwin said, looking at Fury. “So… how close is your helicarrier?”

“Very close,” he said. “We can take the Quinn Jet up.”

Goku and Kayos though began to float in the air. “I think we should fly beside you… just in case something goes wrong,” Goku suggested. “After all, this Loki guy has shown that he can be tricky… might not be a smart idea for all of us to fly at once.”

“Pajama Sam has a point,” Tony said, slipping his helmet on.

Fury, after a moment, nodded. “Alright… let’s go then.”

Tony though looked at Kayos and whispered, “A lot of villains?”

“Vulture. Mysterio. Ultron. Baron Zemo. Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver but they turn good.”

“Please don’t tell Pepper this.”

Kayos swallowed nervously. “Pepper… as in Madame Death?” Tony’s eyes went wide at that. “…I’m shitting with you.”

“That… is not funny.”

“It’s a little funny.”

~MC~MC~MC~

Slash glanced over at NONE as they were led up to the conference room. “Why aren’t they taking us to the brig?”

“Oh, its obvious.”

“It is?”

“Yes. See, these people… these agents… they didn’t get into this line of work for glory. No one will know the deeds they are doing, after all. They are part of a spy organization; their families probably think they sell men’s shoes or work at some office that forces them to travel a lot. That they wear their suits and have their briefcases and go to work and the most exciting thing for them is that they will get a new type of donut in the breakroom. No… they don’t do this for glory. They do it because they are patriots. They love their country and they want to defend it. And that kind of dedication, especially when surrounded by others that feel that way about their destinies, it breeds an interesting type of person. The type of people we are surrounded by right now.”

He paused.

“You know… morons.”

Slash snickered even as Maria Hill motioned for NONE and Slash to enter the conference room; at once NONE realized it was the conference room that had seen Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, Black Widow, and the Hulk meet for the first time. Yes, it had been millions of years since he’d seen the movie but his memory had been altered by his transformation and he remembered everything.

Everything.

Sometimes he closed his eyes and saw the ashes of Pallet Town…

“For someone looking down their nose at us you sure were captured quickly,” Maria said, having no idea about NONE’s existential crisis.

“If we wanted to leave… we would,” NONE replied.

“Who are you?”

“Slash and NONE,” Slash stated as she took a seat. “His name is all capital letters, by the way.”

“When do we get our one phone call?” NONE asked with a smile.

That made the spy scoff. “You’ve seen too many movies.”

“Oddly enough I haven’t,” NONE replied. “You’d think, after millions of years…”

That made Maria raise an eyebrow, reaching down and tapping something on the device she was wearing on her wrist. “So you admit it.”

“That I haven’t see that many movies? I mean, sure. Last I checked that wasn’t a crime… yet. Who knows what Disney will force the government to do next.”

Maria merely scoffed even as more SHIELD agents entered, these ones in Riot Gear and holding large guns that they were pointing right at NONE and Slash. “I am referring to the fact that you are Loki.”

“Sorry,” NONE said with a smirk. “Not him. Though I do admire that hair. Not a fan of long locks myself but hey, you have to admit when someone has a good set of hair on him…”

“Oh, so I’m to believe that you just happen to be another ancient being that popped up onto our ship?”

“Believe what you want,” NONE said. “Hail Hyrda.”

Maria frowned at that but Slash saw a few of the agents stiffen at that. “Cute,” Maria said with a scoff.

“I try,” NONE said before glancing behind him. “Tell your men to stop pointing their guns at Slash. I might actually let you all live through this if you do. Point them at me all you want but if they even think of moving their fingers towards the triggers I promise I will rain death on all of you.”

“You aren’t the one giving orders here,” Maria said, folding her arms over her chest. But there was little doubt that she was ready to launch into an attack if NONE pushed her. What wasn’t as obvious was that NONE was ready to rip her apart atom by atom and reconstruct her should she continue to press threatening Slash. Just as it wasn’t obvious that Slash, while trying to keep NONE calm, was just as enraged that the bastards were still pointing guns at her best friend. “You killed good men and captured others, forcing them to work for you. We want them back, we want the Cosmic Cube, and we want you off our planet with a vow never to return.”

“Don’t have them, don’t have it, would love to leave but the big booming voice might have issues with that. Now, take those guns and lower them before I decide to take a backstep when it comes to my rehabilitation-”

Slash, for her part, put a hand on NONE’s wrist, glancing at him and silently warning him to calm down… and shut his trap. She was also a touch annoyed that Maria had clearly decided that, just because she was ‘the girl’ she wasn’t to be focused on. “Listen… we mean what we are saying. Some being named Entropy yanked us out of our universe and dropped us here. We’re sorry we ended up on your helicarrier but we aren’t here to cause problems.”

“And just how do you know its called a Helicarrier?”

“Because this is all a movie to us,” Slash said. She hadn’t really watched the movies but thanks to nerd osmosis she knew about the films. “Avengers. Followed by Age of Ultron, Infinity War, and Endgame. In between that there are movies about Iron Man, Captain America-“

“Hail Hydra!” NONE said happily again.

“-and Thor. We have future knowledge… we can help.”

“Or you are trying to trick us,” Maria said.

“Okay so I hated your character ever since the comics had you cause Civil War,” NONE stated, Slash flashing him a look. “And you being a Grade A bitch to my friend? Not making me want to help you out.”

“At this point I don’t care what lies you and your little friend here want to tell. I want to know how you got here.”

“How I… got here?” NONE said… as a vibrant beat began to play. It had an old timey feel to it, like something out of the Jazzy 20s, with a solid beat that had just enough bounce to be comfortable coming out of some old man’s radio.

“Oh no,” Slash moaned as NONE leapt to his feet, all the guns now aimed at him. “NONE… you don’t-“

“Dearly beloved!” He called out, grinning ear to ear. “For your entertainment it's my pleasure to introduce to you this world’s latest arrival!” He gave a bow, swirling his hand about in front of him. “The equal-opportunity monster, NONE!”

“Take him down!” Maria shouted only for NONE to throw out his hands, causing the guns to turn red hot. The agents dropped them even as he began to move to each of the pained men, patting them on the shoulders and shaking their hands.

“Hello, it's nice to meet you,” he sang, “Oh, can you tell me where I am? I don't know how I got here but I, I think I'm starting to understand! I don't belong among the angels and baby, that's just fine with me! The things I did up there were high school but now I'm going for my degree!”

One of the men tried to grab him only for NONE to easily catch his wrist, squeezing so hard the man couldn’t even scream, he was in that much pain.

“Hey, sorry, but you just got in my way. I promise honey, I can feel your pain” He caught another attempt at being grabbed, forcing that second agent down to his knees. “And maybe I enjoy it just a little bit, does that make me insane?” His smile grew far too big and wide as he stared at the two men before he lashed out with his foot, kicking a third agent right in the face. “Haven't been the same since I expired. Doesn't mean that I plan to retire.” He shoved the two agents back before leaping onto the conference room table, drawing Slash up to join him as he raised his hands above his head. “And now I have the power to bathe all of you in entertaining fire!”

He suddenly slammed his hands down and the armored agents screamed as fire suddenly burst out around the table from utterly no where. They stumbled back, trying to avoid getting burned even as alarms began to fill the air, strobes going off due to the sudden blast of heat. NONE began to do a rather old timey dance, his back bent back, legs thrust out forward, legs kicking as he summoned a top hat and began to lift it up and down like he was some strange animatronic.

“Take him down!” Maria shouted again but the agents weren’t listening, battling with the flames that were consuming the conference room. Only Slash noticed they weren’t actually damaging anything. Maria continued to shout, demanding the agents follow her orders, but none of them responded.

But NONE had heard and his attention was now fully upon Nick Fury’s second in command.

“Hey , wait a minute, do I know you?” He suddenly stopped dancing, leaning forward instead. “Weren't you an old pal of mine?” He lifted his hand and Maria found herself lifted off her feet, floating in the air and towards NONE who tilted his head, studying her carefully. “Departed from us far too early, but now we're meeting a second time.” He smiled softly, fondly, even as Maria glowered at him, the flames slowly dying away but remaining JUST enough that none of the agents could rush them. “We used to have such fun together and maybe you have what I need. But first I have one tiny question…”

NONE leaned in close, his soft smile morphing into something far more vicious.

“Tell me, do you agents bleed?”

Maria… drew her gun and fired.

NONE stumbled back and Maria landed on the table, catching herself before she emptied her clip into him, Slash letting out a scream of horror as NONE’s body jerked before he fell off the table, slamming into several monitors that were embedded in the wall. There was an explosions of sparks that blinded them all and when the light faded… NONE was gone.

“Now,” Maria said, turning to Slash who flicked her wrist, causing the serpent ring she was wearing to twist into her blessed weapon, her gift from NONE after finding out about Edwin’s Gleipnir: the Ouroboros Saber. Holding out the weapon she reached for a Pokeballfiguring that having to stare down a Charizard would show the bitch that Slash was NOT to be ignored… especially when one had just killed her friend. But Maria was already drawing another clip out and reloading, ready to put Slash down too. “You and I-“

The monitors suddenly flicked on and upon each screen NONE’s face, rendered in 16 bit glory, appeared.

“Hey! Sorry, but you just got in my way.” This voice was even more distorted, filled with the crackles and pops that came from the very first televisions ever made. “I promise honey, I can feel your pain.” Maria found her clip falling from her gun, forcing her to snag it from the table even as the faces on the screens began to sing. “And maybe I enjoy it just a little bit, does that make me insane? Haven't been the same since I expired. Doesn't mean that I plan to retire. And now I have the power to bathe all of you in entertaining fire!”

The monitors exploded once more and from the sparks burst a huge form, nearly 15 feet tall and made up of hundreds of different bones, static filling the air that made the agents scream and cover their ears. The monitors that remained all displayed cartoony versions of NONE, looking like 1930s rubber-hose limbed drawings, doing the same dance he had been doing earlier.

“Hey! Sorry, but you just got in my way. I promise honey, I can feel your pain. And maybe I enjoy it just a little bit, does that make me insane? Haven't been the same since I expired. Doesn't mean that I plan to retire. And now I have the power to bathe all of you in entertaining fire.”

The monster flicked his arms around himself and first nerves, then muscles, then skin formed until NONE returned back to his original form.

Except he wasn’t smiling.

No… his face was as cold as the skull that had been his features only moments earlier.

“Sorry, but you just got in my way,” he sang softly once more using his powers to drag Maria towards him. “I promise honey, I can feel your pain.” The spy grit her teeth but Slash could see her struggling as her bones seemed to shrink and grow under her flesh, constantly mutating and altering her physical form. Her jaw suddenly jutting out and forehead becoming broad like a cavewoman only to become so shrunken down she looked like baby. Arms and legs growing longer, skin straining to contain the bones and joints. Ribs suddenly pressing out so her clothing bulged then shrinking down, causing her to gasp. Over and over and over. “And maybe I enjoy it just a little bit…” NONE leaned in close. “Does that make me in….saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane?”

“Can we not leave you two alone for five minutes?” someone called out… in NONE’s own voice.

“Edwin!” Slash cried out as she spotted her best friend’s doppelganger in the doorway, the Pharaoh beside him. She leapt down from the table and hurried over to him but paused when he saw his face twist in horror. “Oh… oh. Okay, so this looks bad but-“

“I think,” the Pharaoh said slowly, “he’s more worried about NONE getting mad over you fawning over him.”

“I don’t fawn,” Slash said dryly. “And its fine… we’re cousins so unless we’re fucking royals then there is nothing sexual. And he knows he’s my number 1.”

“I am?” NONE asked, clearly embarrassed but also wanting to know.

Slash just smiled fondly at him. “Yes you big goof.” The smile that appeared on the MissingNo’s face lit up the room. “I’m going to hug him now… please restrain yourself.”

“Yes yes, hug the inferior version of me.”

Slash happily hugged Edwin, smiling as she looked him over. “How long as it been for you?”

“A day? Two? Its hard to remember. Some… stuff happened.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“I died.”

Slash’s eyes went wide at that.

NONE… growled.

“And just who is going to die for that?” he asked, he demanded, rolling his sleeves up.

Edwin quickly held up a hand. “We’re dealing with it. I want to handle things my way but thanks.”

“Man,” Tony said as he shoved past them, looking at the bodies on the ground, “and here I thought Mystic Mike over there was the one we needed to worry about when it came to doing damage.” He paused. “Anyone else hear a beeping?”

Slash blinked when Avo Kaoys walked in, follow by Thor and… “Is… is that Goku?”

“Yeah,” Edwin said. “One of us ended up in the Dragon Ball universe and is now some sort of super mage.”

“Not super, just a mage,” Kayos said as he entered the room. “Avo Kayos.” He looked about the conference and the frazzled agents and fire damaged furniture. “So… we missed a bunch of shit.”

“Yeah, was a whole song and dance number. Good times.” Maria Hill had finally reloaded her gun and began to raise it up but Kayos flicked his hand and sent a small ball of magic at it, causing it to go flying away.

“Thanks but I have it handled.”

“I think we could use more of Avo’s style of handling it,” Slash argued before looking at Tony and Thor. “Whoa. This is… freaky.”

“Tell me about it,” Edwin groused, picking up a chair and turning it so it was standing properly once more. “Alright Fury, let’s get this meeting going. Though, before that… Avo, you have anything that can detect if people are lying?”

“Hmmm… I think I can do something.” Several of the agents suddenly shifted but Edwin’s eyes glowed and the Millennium Key emerged as he threw out his hand, slamming the doors JUST as Bruce Banner stepped into the room with Natasha Romanoff.

“Uh… I miss something?” Bruce said. “I heard music earlier… was rather catchy.”

“Thank you!” NONE said pleasantly before he turned towards the SHIELD Agents.

Kayos suddenly threw out his hands. “Black Honor!” and tendrils of magic raced through the room, careening about before striking everyone, himself included.

“Oh… neat!” Goku said as he looked down to see the symbol for the Turtle School appear on his chest, glowing with magic. The same symbol appeared on Kayos’ body while the Pharaoh gained the Smiley Face Tea had once drawn on their hands and Edwin a stylized C that was similar to the CCN logo. Slash gained a Pokeball while NONE’s…

“Is that my face?” Slash said, tilting her head as the drawing of her that was now on NONE’s chest.

“Shows your true loyalty,” Kayos stated, looking at Thor who had the symbol of Asgard, Tony who had Stark Industry’s logo, Banner with… an atomic element symbol for some reason… and most of the agents bearing the SHIELD logo.

But two of the agents had the symbol of Hydra.

“There you are,” NONE said darkly, raising his hand and charging it with energy… just before Edwin slashed out with Gleipnir, restraining the two. “Well, I guess THAT works…” He wiggled his fingers and the energy dissipated.

Maria Hill, finally able to get some words out after the agony she had gone through, glared at NONE. “Some people think before acting.”

Slash rolled her eyes. “You just saw what he can do…” She frowned suddenly. “Okay, now I hear the beeping.” She looked down at her wrist, pulling up her sleeve to reveal The Gauge. “The fuck?”

“What is that thing?” Bruce asked, staring intently at the device that was strapped on Slash’s wrist. Tony too leaned over, rather curious.

“The Gauge,” Slash said bitterly. “It lets me know if, on my world, I’m about to do something it doesn’t like. And if it doesn’t like it then it shows me how it could make me die.”

“…seriously?” Tony asked, staring at the thing with a bit more disgust and horror. “Like… projections?”

“In my brain, yeah.” Slash frowned. “But we aren’t on my world so it shouldn’t be acting up…” She tapped the device and suddenly it opened up… revealing a small screen like the battery life readout on a tool. “Okay, that’s new. 40%.”

“Never done that before?” Edwin asked.

“Never.”

NONE grit his teeth. “I should see if I can reduce that to kibble.” He held up a single figure, the digit beginning to glow so hot that steam was coming off of it.

The Gauge dropped to 39%.

“STOP!” Slash shouted and NONE blinked. “Its for you, you idiot! Its… I think its how much of your magic you have left.”

“…what?”

Edwin groaned. “Entropy.”

“Who?” Kayos asked.

“Big booming voice guy that summoned us. Last time he was able to completely remove NONE’s powers… I think he doesn’t want him snapping his fingers and stopping Loki.”

“So I’m on… what… a limiter?” NONE said, staring at his hands… only for Slash to begin smacking his shoulder. “OW!”

“You idiot!” she shouted. “You wasted 60% of your magic on a dance number!” And then, just as quickly, she grabbed him and hugged him. “You aren’t an idiot. You aren’t. I love you and you are so good. I’m sorry.” At once NONE melted in her embraced, head down and pressed against his shoulders.

Natasha looked about the table. “I am… very confused.”

Edwin sighed. “Okay, long story short: the 6 of us are from different worlds. All of this was a movie in our worlds so we have future knowledge. We know what Loki is going to do. Entropy sent us to stop Loki.”

Goku frowned. “He said something about the world losing its heroes?”

Coulson entered the room as Kayos frowned at that. “Yeah. I mean, they lost Steve and Clint-“

“We lost Captain America?” Bruce asked.

“Yes and it is no one’s fault at all despite what some people might say,” Tony added quickly.

“So Rogers is under the same mind control as Clint,” Natasha stated.

“Yes,” Fury said. “Which means that we are already off to a bad start.”

“Uh, I hate to point this out to you Fury… actually no I love to,” Tony smirked and gestured at the table, “but we’ve gained more players. Sure, would prefer if Cap were here because hey, Captain America, even I’m down with having him on my side, but its not like we are now a bunch of babies trying to throw pacifiers at Loki and hoping he just stops. Sure, this one probably won’t be able to perform-“

NONE snapped his head up, eyes glowing red as he prepared to vaporize Tony, only for Slash to pull out some keys and begin jiggling them in front of him, causing NONE to focus on them instead.

“-but we still have a ton of help.”

“And then there is Edwin,” The Pharaoh said. “His Key is able to block mind control.”

“It can?” Coulson asked.

The Pharaoh nodded. “On our world there is a similar villain: Marik. He holds the Millennium Rod, which allows him to control the minds of others. But Edwin’s Key allows him to lock down a mind, preventing one from being controlled.”

“Might have to lock down the Heart, since that’s what Loki touches, but should still be the same thing,” Edwin stated.

Kayos nodded at that. “Would be a smart thing to have.”

“Very much so,” Coulson said… before pulling out his gun and firing right at Edwin’s chest.

It was only because Goku was so quick that Edwin was spared, the Saiyan managing to pluck the bullets out of the air before whipping around towards Coulson, who had summoned Loki’s staff and already jabbed Thor in the chest. “So… that’s the bad guy.”

“Yup,” Kayos said even as Edwin sat their wide-eyed, realizing he’d almost died again. Even knowing he’d go to Heaven didn’t make that any easier.

~Meanwhile on Earth-1H~

Edwin Cerberus looked up and, not know why, flipped off the sky before he got back to work.

~MC~MC~MC~

Coulson though smiled as he looked over at Thor. “Father always did wish we’d play nice with each other, didn’t he? Well, no time like the present. Brother… bring me your new allies.”

“Of course, brother,” Thor said, eyes glowing blue.

“And feel free to hurt them as much as you wish.”

“Oooooh fuck,” Edwin muttered even as he reached behind his back, Slash doing the same. “It’s Morphin’ Time!”

“Its what now?” Tony got out just before Edwin and Slash morphed into their ranger outfits. “Okay, never mind.”

Kayos lit up his hands. “Loki Odionson,” he said as Coulson’s form rippled and turned into the Asgardian.

“Not anymore. I am my own man.” Loki fired a blast of energy from his staff at Kayos.

“White Flag!” he roared, catching the attack and absorbing it. Loki’s eyes went wide at that, staring at the staff in confusion than slowly at Kayos whose body glowed with the stolen power. “My turn. White Knuckle!” He leapt forward to punch Loki only for Thor to tackle him. “Goku help!” Kayos called out as he was slammed through the closed doorway.

“On it!” Goku shouted, launching after Thor and Kayos.

“Now now now… need to even the odds!” Loki began to lash out, tapping the chests of every SHIELD agent he could.

“Stay back!” Fury shouted. “Don’t let him touch you!” He drew his gun and aimed it at one of the now controlled agents. “Don’t make me kill you.”

“I’d say the same thing but Loki wants you dead,” the agent said only for Slash to strike out with Ourosboros, shattering the man’s wrist.

“Uh… things are getting a bit… crowded,” Bruce said nervously, trying to keep control of his breathing.

“We need to get Bruce out of here!” Edwin shouted. “Last thing we need is the fucking Hulk rampaging!”

The helicarrier shook.

“Bad enough Thor is fighting Kayos and Goku out there!”

The Pharaoh nodded, turning his Duel Band into a shield, managing to bring it up just as an agent fired on them, deflecting the bullet. Tony was crouched down next to them, looking about for some inspiration on how to deal with the situation at hand. “I seriously need to look at that when we aren’t, you know, going to die.” Tony peaked out to see that Natasha was working on dealing with the Agents while Edwin was battling Loki, clashing his double tipped spear weapon against his staff. “Those two are having fun.”

“NONE!” The Pharaoh called out. “Can you-“

“Don’t you dare!” Slash shouted. “We don’t know what will happen if you drain all your magic!”

“I can take him out without draining myself!” NONE complained, dodging blows from agents that were trying to rush him. He suddenly darted forward and stopped one who had been preparing to shoot Maria in the head. “That is naughty,” He warned before static filled the air and the mind controlled agent screamed, clutching him head. “Hmmm… I might be able to break him out…”

“Don’t risk it!” Slash commanded as she swung her saber at another agent.

“I think… your handlers might be right,” Maria said as she fired into the leg of one of the controlled Agents. More were piling into the room, making things tense. Fury had grabbed Bruce and yanked him away, covering him as Edwin and Loki continued to fight. “We need to save you for the End of the World scenarios.”

“Good point,” NONE admitted before lashing out with his hand and catching an Agent by the throat. “Sorry about the song and dance number, by the way. I’m… I’m trying to be better. I honestly have a lot of issues mentally and Slash keeps saying I should see a therapist but when you drive people insane just standing next to them-“

“Focus on the fight!” Maria scolded.

“And I will never apologize to anyone again,” NONE muttered before throwing the agent aside… just as Loki got around Edwin and jabbed Natasha with the staff, causing the Black Widow to stiffen. “Aw fuck. Rip Off Me, this is gonna suck!”

Edwin turned as Natasha’s eyes began to glow blue. “You know if you were a bit taller my girlfriend would be super jealous-“

Natasha leapt at Edwin and began to strike him all over, driving him out of the conference room, leaving Loki to turn his attention onto Fury and Bruce.

“…crap,” Bruce muttered.

Meanwhile Goku, Kayos, and Thor had ended up in the hanger of the Helicarrier, the God of Thunder having no problem cutting loose. But the two Z Warriors found themselves pulling their punches, not wanting to seriously hurt Thor as, if they could break the control Loki had, then they’d need him for the fight to come. As such Goku and Kayos found themselves mostly on the defensive, doing what they could to keep Thor from hurting themselves and others.

“You really are strong,” Goku declared. “And I wish that I could go all out like you are. But I know you really aren’t in control of yourself at the moment. This is all your brother’s doing. So I’m just going to have to take you down in the most painless way possible.”

“Thou shalt try, midgardian!” Thor declared, lifting his hammer up.

… only for it to slip out of his fingers and slam into the floor.

“Someone isn’t worthy…” Kayos sang before he got into a runner’s stance. “Black Parade!” The Magical duplicates of Kayos blasted out of him, striking Thor several times, causing him to stumble back. “Goku!”

“Right!” Goku declared, pulling his arms back. “Ka…me…”

“Thou shalt not interfere with mine brother’s plans!” Thor declared, storming forward as he recovered from the Black Parade.

“Blackout!” Kayos roared. “White Noise!” Thor at once began to look about wildly, trying to find where Kayos and Goku had gone as his senses of sight and hearing went haywire. The Asgardian began to wave his hands about and despite being brainwashed to do Loki’s bidding the panic on his face as he suddenly found himself unable to see a thing and his sense of hearing betraying him was painful to see.

Still… Kayos knew what needed to be done.

“Ha…me… HA!” Goku slammed his hands forward and the Kamehameha struck Thor right in the chest, sending him flying across the hanger and out the entrance, disappearing from sight. “Be ready… when he comes back in he won’t be happy.”

“About that…” Kayos said, looking down at Thor’s hammer. “He can’t actually fly without this.”

“…really?” Goku said, tilting his head in confusion.

“Yeah.” Kayos managed a smile. “So he might come back or…” he made the whistling sound one heard in every Looney Tunes cartoon when a character fell from a great height.

Goku’s eyes went wide with panic. “I need to get him!”

“He’ll be-“ Kayos began… only for the entire helicarrier to tremble. “Oh, that can’t be good.”

And that’s when the Hulk, with glowing blue eyes, burst into the hanger, one meaty hand holding a struggling NONE even as Edwin leapt out of the hole with his double bladed spear, Slash battling the Black Widow.

~MC~MC~MC~

‘Pharaoh, we have to do something!’ Yugi exclaimed at the entire vessel trembled. They had gone the long way through the helicarrier, following the sounds of battle as the Hulk had sought to destroy NONE while Kayos and Goku had battled Thor. Tony had hurried off to get his armor, leaving the Pharaoh and his partner to run through the halls with Fury and Maria. The two agents were barking orders, demanding the SHIELD agents do what they could. News was quickly being passed that save for Tony all of their allies, the future Avengers according to Avo and Edwin, had been taken control of by Loki. That Edwin, Avo, NONE, Goku, the Pharaoh, and Slash were on their side. But the news wasn’t getting through quick enough and more than once Fury had been forced to bark at an agent who’d drawn their gun and pointed it at the Pharaoh.

It was confusion. It was madness.

It was exactly what Loki wanted.

‘Yes Yugi but…’ He looked about, using the power of the puzzle to see all the damage already done by the Hulk as well as what was the most likely outcome, ‘…I am afraid that we are running out of time. Every strike… very blow… it is damaging this ship. I fear that it will soon be unable to maintain altitude and when it does…’

He didn’t finished.

There was no need too.

‘Then we need to stop them NOW so we can escape,’ Yugi said. ‘And that means we have to get Edwin close enough to use the Key and hopefully break the Mind Control.’

‘I agree,’ The Pharaoh said, watching as Avo suddenly disappeared in a puff of smoke us as the Hulk, who had dropped NONE to the ground, took a swing at him. Edwin launched himself forward, stabbing deep into the Hulk’s back and causing the green giant to roar in pain… and rage. He twisted around and grabbed Edwin by the arm, looking ready to rip him in half, only for Goku to swarm in and deck him hard in the face, allowing NONE to launch forward, hand turning into a bone sickle that he swung at the raging man’s throat. The Hulk leaned back though, bellowing as he moved to stomp on Edwin, Avo reappearing and yanking them both out of the way as Goku and NONE tackled the Hulk and pushed him back.

“Do you realize how much training I have?” Black Widow said as she and Slash circled one another. “I was trained by the greatest assassins in the world. Put through the Red Room to make me into a living weapon. I have killed… I am going to kill you if you don’t stand down and accept what is coming. You and everyone you care about. This isn’t even your world, you admitted it.”

“So that was, like, three different attempts to get me to back down?” Slash said lazily, spinning her saber. “Trying to scare me. Threaten me. Get me to be lazy and wave this all off. But see, there is a small problem with that: my world isn’t my original world and I’m still working to save it. The Gauge shows me my bloody deaths every time I pick the wrong breakfast cereal. And as for the Red Room… normally I’m a trans girl in a world that I don’t think even understands boob jobs.” She motioned for Natasha to step forward. “Also fuck you for claiming you’re a monster just because you can’t have a baby.” That made Natasha frown, a touch confused, before the two women raced at each other.

“So… is this how things are for you normally?” Avo asked Edwin, helping the other man up.

“Not usually. Most of the time its just card games.”

“Yu-Gi-Oh!. Right. So… what deck do we use?”

“Mostly Endymion but Lair and Starry Knight sometimes.” The two watched as Goku dodged one of the Hulk’s strikes and went in for a leg sweep… only for the Saiyan to wince at how the Hulk didn’t budge from the strike. “Though just because we focus on cards doesn’t mean that I don’t have some tricks.” And with that Edwin’s eyes began to glow as he called upon the magic of the key. “Now then-“

But he didn’t get to finish as behind him he heard the roar of an engine… and turned to see another Quinn Jet rising up, Thor on the nose of it and Captain America, along with Hawkeye, manning the controls.

“Oh… this is gonna fucking suck,” Edwin muttered.