It was silent. Not a single noise could be heard except for his erratic breaths — unsteady and raspy, a heavy burden weighing down on his chest, as though his lungs were filled with lead. It was dark. So dark that he could barely see the strands of hair covering his eyes. It didn’t bother him, though. To be fair, he’d turned off the lights right after entering and locking the door — or had he? Had he turned them off? Had he left them on? Had he even locked the door?
He knew what was about to happen, so he refocused his attention, desperately trying to keep his thoughts from racing and his hands from shaking so terribly, clutching at his shirt and nearly ripping it apart. He almost didn’t hear the soft clatter of metal falling to the floor.
Shit! Shit, shit, shit! He had to pick it up! He needed to escape! The crowd! The traffic! The many distinct colours, so bright and piercing, made him feel dizzy, overwhelmed, and his head pounded unrelentingly. He needed a way out! He needed to get out of here! Right now, or … Thor … He needed …
He felt his throat tightening further, the pressure on his chest increasing with every passing second — with every breath he took — and found it increasingly difficult to think clearly. All the breathing and calming techniques they had taught him, all the things he should focus on, had now vanished from his mind. He bent down slowly, his whole body trembling with suppressed sobs, and frantically swept his hands across the tile floor until he finally found the small piece of metal, gripping onto it like a lifeline.
Out of exhaustion, he dropped onto the tiles, curling into the farthest corner from the exit and clutching the knife to his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to see those terrifying creatures. He still couldn’t find the strength to breathe properly, gasping for air with frantic, shallow breaths. Suddenly, he pulled his hand from his chest, still holding the knife with shaky fingers. As if on instinct, he led the blade toward his other wrist, cutting into the soft skin and immediately drawing blood. A muffled cry of pain escaped his lips. He didn’t stop, continuing to slice deeper each time. He still hadn’t calmed down, trying to form words, or maybe just a name. His voice was barely a whisper, wrecked by sobs and unrecognizably weak.
“Th-Thor ... Th-Thor ... p-please ... wh-what ... Th-Thor ...”
To him, the veil of crimson tainting his vision looked beautiful, staining the floor and his clothes. He knew he should probably feel pain, scream, and stop. But he didn’t. He didn’t feel anything — or maybe too much at the same time. A few more cuts, and he didn’t have the strength to keep the knife from dropping onto the floor or his hand from falling back onto his chest. His vision was even blurrier than before, but he watched the blood spill from his veins. It would be over soon. Right? It had to be, if not … If not … The crowd, the lights, the house — empty …
He didn’t feel his worn-out body collapsing back against the wall, didn’t feel his head hitting the floor … didn’t see as the door was broken down …
-------
The day it happened was two months after. Two months after Nevada. Two months after the last moment Thor remembered that they had shared with no worries and anxieties clouding their minds. Two months after the event that had torn them from their daily lives and thrust them back in, with everything turned upside down. Two months after … after their last mission.
-------
None of them suspected anything was amiss when they agreed to hunt down yet another group of terrorists attacking North Carolina. There was no reason to sense anything unusual; the adversaries appeared no different from those they had faced before. Only, this time... they were. The team engaged in the fight with their usual division of labor. Hulk's job was clear: smash! Clint, the archer, was perched on a rooftop, firing his arrows with unerring accuracy. Tony and Thor stayed in the air, attacking with lightning and laser beams, while Steve and Natasha remained on the ground, battling their opponents hand-to-hand. Everything was going perfectly fine until... well, until it wasn’t.
Tony had flown off to take down one of the enemy jets, with Thor guarding his back. The blonde had just finished dealing with a bomber when he noticed Tony had vanished. He hesitated for only a second before trying to reach him via radio, only to find that wherever Tony had gone, there was no signal. Scanning the area, Thor realized there was only one place Tony could have disappeared to — the jet.
Thor's eyes clouded with worry, and he grew increasingly anxious. When Tony didn’t return after several moments and Thor saw the jet Tony was supposed to destroy flying off into the distance, he sprang into action. He threw a few more lightning strikes at the enemies behind him, then raised his hammer and rushed after the fleeing vehicle without contacting anyone. Normally, Thor wouldn’t disappear without explanation, but Tony was... special. He knew that if he wasted time informing the others, he’d have to wait for Steve’s approval, which likely wouldn’t happen since the captain hated solo efforts.
Gifted with the senses of an Asgardian, Thor quickly spotted his target. The jet wasn’t using its top speed, indicating they didn’t expect pursuit. Thor closed in rapidly, now only a few feet from the spot where Tony was. He flew as fast as he could, finally taking one hand off the hammer and gripping the surface of the vehicle. He pulled himself closer, his hammer just inches from breaking down the door when suddenly...
“THOR! THOR, NO! IT'S—IT'S A TRAP!”
His friend's warning came too late. The moment Thor touched the door, metal ropes descended, wrapping around his wrists, legs, and torso, violently pulling him back and lifting him further into the air. Now floating with his gaze upward, he could see Tony. The genius was trapped, caught in ropes similar to Thor's, his armor rendered useless. His faceplate had been removed, and Thor couldn’t avoid seeing Tony’s gaze shift from hopeful to terrified as he watched the Asgardian, the strongest of all warriors, being pulled up as well, finally coming to hang several feet away.
Thor’s thoughts raced as he struggled to escape. He tried everything he could, but the ropes only tightened the more he moved. Realizing resistance was futile, he looked back at Tony. (“It’s a trap, Thor!” “Yes, my love. It’s a trap! And now we’re both about to meet its master.”)
-----
The remaining members of the team had, of course, noticed Tony's and Thor's sudden absence but were too wrapped up in the fight to act immediately. After the battle, they scanned the surroundings, suspecting that one of them might have been injured and the other had brought him to safety.
"Shit, this doesn't make sense at all!" Clint exclaimed, frustrated. "If Tony had gotten hurt, Thor would've told us where he's going. Same thing the other way around. They could've just told us! Why didn't they say anything?"
"Maybe, wherever they are, there's no signal, but why would they have gone so far away?" Nat pondered aloud.
"Okay, okay, okay, wait!" Bruce interrupted Nat's train of thought, glancing at everyone.
"I told Tony to take out their fighter jet. Tony agreed, and Thor was supposed to keep the enemies away. That's the last thing I heard from them," Steve said, clearly upset, pacing back and forth in the room where they had gathered to discuss their strategy.
"So, we would've probably noticed if they had been hurt or killed, right? I mean, you can't miss a god of thunder falling outta the sky," Clint added. The others stayed silent, exchanging brief glances. They knew what this meant. If Tony and Thor had disappeared without informing them of any issues and hadn't been found yet, there were few other explanations.
"I'll talk to Fury. He has to tell us where their main base is," Steve declared sharply, slamming the door as he exited the room.
"I'm not even sure if Fury knows himself..." Clint mumbled, not expecting an answer. He knew that if the SHIELD director had known about the group's whereabouts, he would have probably asked them to take it down right after completing the mission.
-------
It had taken SHIELD one week to pinpoint the exact location where their teammates were being held captive. They were imprisoned in a small city at the eastern end of Nevada, in an underground bunker that had thwarted all efforts to locate them.
Fortunately, Fury had dispatched SHIELD agents to assist in destroying the building, apprehending the criminals, and rescuing the missing members of the Avengers initiative. Steve was chosen to lead the assault and retrieve their friends. The mission was easier than anticipated as the guards were preoccupied with fighting Fury’s agents. When Steve found them, he had to restrain himself from cursing, a rare occurrence for him.
He spotted Thor first. The blonde god was standing, bound by several chains connected to the wall behind him. Steve quickly assessed him and was relieved to see no severe injuries. However, Thor was nearly unconscious, hanging limply in the chains that kept him upright. Steve moved further into the small cell, pausing as he noticed the floor in front of him was covered in blood. He followed the trail of crimson past Thor and finally saw Tony.
Tony was lying on an examining table, restrained by bindings around his wrists and ankles. Steve wanted to look away but forced himself not to. If not for his sense of logic, he might not have recognized his comrade beneath the countless layers of blood covering his skin. There was so much crimson that Steve couldn't even identify specific wounds. He also noticed the infusion Tony was connected to. Tony’s eyes were closed, and he was clearly unconscious. The only sign of life was the minimal, barely noticeable rise and fall of his chest and the soft glow of the arc reactor.
"Hell shit!"
Steve immediately stepped forward, first ripping out whatever “medicine” they had been administering, then slowly and carefully breaking the chains. Tony didn’t move or react to his touch. Steve considered picking Tony up right away but decided to free Thor first. He turned back to the god, who hadn’t moved or made a sound since Steve had entered. He approached cautiously.
"Thor? Thor, can you hear me?"
There was no immediate reaction. As Steve looked closer, he realized there was also a chain around Thor’s neck, preventing him from moving his head. Thor's gaze was fixed on Tony, though his eyes were nearly closed. Steve quickly proceeded to break Thor’s chains as well. Still, Thor didn’t react. When finished, Steve gently touched his shoulder, his voice more forceful this time.
"Thor?"
At the sound of his name, Thor’s head shot up, his eyes staring directly at Steve. They seemed hazy and completely distraught. Steve quickly extended a hand to stabilize Thor, who could barely hold himself up.
"Thor, it’s me! Steve! I’ll get you out of here, okay? And Tony too." At the mention of Tony’s name, Thor looked around in panic, mumbling his lover’s name over and over.
"He’s alive, Thor. He’s alive. We’ll get you help, don’t worry. You’ll be fine, okay? You’ll be fine!"
--------
They had brought them to the nearest hospital. Steve carried Tony until he could lay him on a stretcher in the emergency room. Thor had been walking partially on his own and partially leaning on Steve for support, but he eventually collapsed on the floor next to Tony's bed. The Asgardian hadn't spoken another word, seemingly oblivious to the others in the room, his eyes fixed on Tony. Steve left them to the doctors, exiting the room to join the others in the waiting area.
"Shit, Cap!" Clint exclaimed, holding a coffee mug. "They're gonna make it, right? I mean…"
"Yes, probably. It seems the infusion they gave him was some kind of fluid resuscitation, so he won't bleed to death immediately. They think his chances are rather high." A wave of relief washed over them, still mixed with the shock from earlier.
"But we still don't really know what happened in there, right?" Bruce asked. Steve nodded in response, sinking into a chair.
"No, not quite. But the signs are pretty clear. Let's just wait and see when Thor is ready to talk."
---------
In the following days, the team found it impossible to convince Thor to leave Tony's side, even for a second. No matter what they did to coax him into eating or sleeping, the blonde warrior wouldn't budge, staying resolutely next to the hospital bed. However, his mind seemed to clear somewhat as he started talking again, reassuring his beloved whenever Tony was awake. It soon became clear that Tony was out of danger. Nevertheless, it took two weeks before he was allowed to leave the hospital. The rest of the team, except for Thor, had returned to work, checking in on them occasionally.
It took some time before Thor was ready to share what had happened to them. According to his story, while aiming to destroy the jet, Tony had been stumbling into an unnoticed trap and had been break free. Thor had noticed and flown after him, getting trapped himself. They had gotten locked in the cell where Steve had found them, left alone for a while, still chained up. Tony and Thor had talked, trying everything they could think of to escape. Approximately one day later, their captors had returned, chaining Thor to the wall so he didn't move. And then... Thor needed more time to reveal the next part of the story.
They had tried countless methods of torture and punishment on Tony, forcing Thor to watch everything, unable to look away. When trying closing his eyes, they had only gotten angrier, making Tony cry out in pain. So he had kept them open, not daring to try anything else. They had been left alone during the nights, but Thor hadn't been allowed to move, forced to stand still, unable to help Tony or do anything else. No one really knew how to react, but Thor seemed to push all the shock aside, his mind preoccupied with worrying about Tony.
When they left the hospital, the couple didn't return to the Tower but decided to take some time off, retreating to one of Tony's safehouses in Malibu. Their team understood, giving them space, knowing their friends needed time to cope with everything that had happened. Thor refused to let Tony out of his sight for more than a few minutes, which Tony was completely fine with. He still wasn't back to full health and spent most of his time in bed. They didn't really talk about the past events. Thor knew Tony preferred to focus on other things and did his best to distract both himself and his genius.
They spent about three weeks in Malibu, three weeks full of understanding, tenderness, and affection. Three weeks of long-lasting hugs and kisses, sharing their pain, and trying to laugh it away. They used the time well, recovering both physically and mentally. Towards the end of their vacation, they even managed to crack jokes that made the other genuinely laugh. Of course, they would have liked to stay a little longer, but Thor knew Tony wanted to return to work. The genius had become quite restless with nothing to occupy his always-buzzing mind. So when Tony suggested returning to normal life, Thor quickly agreed, informing their friends and packing up their things for their return.
-------
Since they both felt uncomfortable with having so many people around, they didn’t immediately move into the tower. Instead, they rented a flat nearby. The team wondered about this decision, especially since Tony and Thor seemed perfectly fine when joining them for movie nights. The shared nightmare that once haunted them appeared to no longer bother them; they laughed along with the others and seemed genuinely at peace. Their friends didn’t question it, understanding that Tony and Thor were resilient and quick to recover from setbacks.
Thor felt similarly at the time. He hadn’t simply forgotten everything. There were still moments when he woke up in the middle of the night, expecting to see Tony hurt and bleeding on the floor, only to find him sleeping peacefully beside him, unharmed. He had grown accustomed to these fears. In the past, it had often been Loki or the destruction of Asgard haunting his dreams. It still wasn’t easy for him to leave Tony’s side, but he understood that he couldn’t accompany him to work. He adapted, not wanting to trouble his beloved by sharing his struggles. With time, things improved for Thor.
Tony, meanwhile, relied on his usual coping mechanism: just move on and stay busy. It wasn’t that it didn’t work — it did, to an extent. But like all coping mechanisms, it had its limits.
About a week after their return, Thor started to notice something was off. It began during the hours when the subconscious is most active — while they slept. Thor woke up early one morning — 5:30 a.m. glowed on the clock — and noticed Tony sleeping uneasily, moving a lot and moaning quietly. Thor hesitated, considering his options. Tony having nightmares was nothing new; he’d had them regularly in the past, sometimes two or three times a week. Thor had learned it was generally better to let Tony sleep through them. So he lay back down, waiting anxiously.
Luckily, it only lasted a few minutes. Thor watched as Tony’s eyes suddenly opened. He wanted to say something, but Tony was already sitting up in bed, gasping for air, his eyes darting around the room in sheer panic. Thor quickly sat up too, trying to make eye contact.
“Tony! Tony, it’s me, Thor. It’s okay. You’re safe.” He hesitated briefly, then reached out, soothingly rubbing Tony’s arm. Tony seemed to notice him then, finally looking his way, his eyes terrified and pleading for help. The blonde moved behind him, gently pulling him into his arms.
“Shhh, shhh, it’s alright. It’s alright, my love. I’m here.” Thor waited a few minutes until Tony’s breathing calmed down a little. He placed a gentle kiss on Tony’s dark curls, still stroking his arm. Tony leaned back into him, somewhat more relaxed now. They sat in silence for a while. Thor could only guess what the dream had been about, but he didn’t want to pressure Tony. He knew Tony would talk when he was ready.
-----
Unfortunately, this wasn’t an isolated incident; it was quite the opposite. In the following week, Tony’s nightmares became more frequent, vivid, and terrifying. One night, when Tony woke up crying and couldn’t calm down for half an hour, he finally confided in Thor about his dreams. As Thor had suspected, Tony was reliving their time in Nevada—the claustrophobic cell, the cold nights, the days filled with horror and pain. These memories haunted him, leaving him scared to death and his body shaking with sobs. Thor always did his best to reassure him, holding him tightly and promising that he would never let something like that happen again.
There were even times when Tony refused to fall asleep, staying up to avoid the nightmares. Thor managed to coax him into bed anyway, but in retrospect, that was when Thor’s seriously began worrying.
As time passed, Thor noticed more signs that made his anxiety grow. Normally, when Tony returned from work, he was full of adrenaline, eager to talk about his projects, the people he had dealt with, or new invention ideas. Thor loved listening to his excited chatter, only managing to interject a few comments when Tony paused for breath. However, recently things had changed. Now, when Tony came home in the early evenings, he barely spoke and seemed completely absent-minded. Sometimes Thor doubted Tony was even listening to him, which was very unusual.
Thor decided to address it one evening while they were sitting on the couch, watching a movie Clint had recommended. Tony was half-leaning on the cushions, his eyes almost closed, even though it was only half-past eight — far too early for him to be thinking of sleep under normal circumstances. Thor leaned in hesitantly and placed a hand on Tony’s shoulder.
“Tony?” he asked quietly. The scientist's eyes shot open, and he straightened up immediately, his gaze alarmed.
“Wh-what?” Thor backed up a little, calmly holding up his hands.
“There’s no one else around, Tony. I just wanted to ask if you’re alright. Is something wrong?” The brunette relaxed slightly, averting his eyes to the floor.
“N-nothing, it’s nothing. I’m sorry.” Thor moved closer now, sitting down next to him and taking Tony’s hands in his own.
“There’s no reason for you to apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Tony didn’t respond, not moving from his position. Thor watched him carefully. His body seemed full of tension, his shoulders stiff and lifted, his eyes unfocused and hazy. Thor gently put an arm around Tony’s back, feeling the tensed muscles. “What’s troubling your mind so much, my genius? Is it still about Nevada?” Tony flinched slightly at the mention of the place but shook his head.
“N-no, it’s just... I - don’t wanna talk right now.” Thor nodded, carefully pulling Tony into his lap.
“Then try to rest a bit, okay? There’s no need for you to be afraid. I’m here now. I’m taking care of you.” He stroked Tony’s hair, then moved his hand down to his neck and back. Tony didn’t move an inch, his eyes slowly closing as Thor continued the soothing motion. He didn’t say a word while he watched Tony fall asleep on the sofa, still lying in his lap. As time passed, Thor’s expression changed to one of concern. He knew this wasn’t simply a phase Tony was going through. Thor had seen phases before, but this… this was different. Completely different.
------
Thor's suspicion found proof several days later. He was alone in their flat, waiting for Tony to arrive. The genius was at work, as usual. They had spoken on the phone some time before. Tony had sounded fine and mentioned he was about to leave soon, so Thor expected him to come in at any second.
When he finally did arrive some minutes later, Thor was already in the entry area, awaiting him. He noticed nothing unusual as Tony walked in, shut the door, and pulled off his shoes and jacket. Only when the brunette turned to face him did Thor see the distress he was in. Tony's hands were shaking violently, the keys nearly dropping from his fingers. His eyes looked so exhausted, so drained and hazy, that Thor thought he might collapse at any moment. Thor quickly moved to meet him halfway, wrapping him in a strong embrace. As soon as Thor touched him, Tony collapsed onto him, suddenly crying and clinging to him, unable to stand on his own. Thor caught him reflexively, holding him securely while mumbling into his ear.
“Tony! Tony, shhh, - shhh. I'm here, I'm right with you. It's fine, - it'll be alright.” He gently picked his lover up then, cautiously carrying him into the living room where he sat down with him still in his arms. Tony hadn't moved, still shaking and sobbing bitterly, his eyes unfocused. Thor sat still for about 15 minutes, simply holding him tight, reassuring him over and over that there was no need to be afraid. When the crying fit had stopped, Thor made him drink some water. They sat in silence for a while, Tony apparently too exhausted to move from Thor's lap.
“What has happened, Tony? Why is it that you're suffering so much?”
Tony didn't respond right away, needing some time to collect the strength to speak.
“You - you were right when - wh-when you said it's about - 'bout Nevada. I - i-in, - in my dreams I'm - I'm there again and - seeing them again and - and feeling it again, - they - they cut me and - burn me and… ” Thor couldn't hide a frown while listening carefully. He knew what those people had done to him. It was cruelty he had seen few times before and much too cruel to live through it every single night. He waited until Tony continued speaking.
“I - I th-thought I - could push it aside but - when - when I'm at work I - I'm seeing them too now.”
“Since when?” Thor felt sorry interrupting him but it was something he needed to know.
“S-since a f-few days ago. M-mostly when I'm alone but - also with others they - suddenly appear and - t-tell me to - to come along a-and - that they'd do it all again and s-sometimes they - have their knives and - say they'll c-cut me open again to - to see how - how much a man made of iron c-can - can bleed.” A short pause followed. Thor didn't say a word. Firstly because he wanted to let Tony talk and secondly because he wouldn't have known what to say to things so terrible.
“It - it a-always makes me so - scared and - I - I just wanna run, - run to you but you're not there and - a-all my colleagues gossip about why I'm behaving strangely but I can't - c-can't stop seeing them, n-no - no matter what I do or where I go and - Pe-Pepper's complaining why I suck at doing my job all the time but I - I never can focus. I-I'm so tired I just wanna sleep but wh-when I sleep they're c-coming back and - chasing after me again b-but I - can't stay awake anymore, I-I've tried but - I'm so - tired, c-can't - can't see clearly, - my - head hurts like it's exploding and - everything else I - c-can't… just - want it to stop…”
Thor kept listening and watched as Tony went straight into another crying fit. He knew what Tony had just told him must have been going on for many days now. This thought alone made him shiver internally. The man in his lap, his genius, with the sharp wit and quick tongue, the cinnamon eyes full of excitement, passion, and curiosity, with his sheer unbreakable will, was now broken, looking so damn brittle lying in his arms. He so desperately wanted to help him, to make it all better. He wanted to do more than just hold him and stroke a hand through his hair. But broken souls were not like broken bones. You couldn't bandage them up and wait for them to heal. And he knew that better than most.
-------
They talked extensively after that day. Tony had made it clear that he didn't want their teammates to know about his condition. It wasn't that he was embarrassed; he simply wanted to keep it private. This was understandable, but if Thor was honest, he didn't know how to proceed without help. He had suggested that Tony should talk to someone who could assist him, perhaps consult a therapist. But afterward, Tony had shut down completely, only shaking his head in response. Thor ensured Tony stayed home the next day, telling Pepper that Tony had caught an illness. In his opinion, it wasn't entirely a lie. True, Tony didn't have the flu or anything similar, but he was definitely not in a state to work. The genius could barely get out of bed on his own, even though he didn't sleep most of the time. Thor didn't leave his side for a second, knowing Tony would be scared if left alone. From time to time, he panicked, again believing his punishers were in the room, even when Thor assured him there wasn't anyone around. He had headaches and stomach cramps in irregular waves and was constantly battling anxiety. It only improved when Thor lay down next to him, pulling him into a tight embrace and stroking his back to help him relax a little. Thor guessed that most of Tony's symptoms were psychosomatic, not caused by any physical illness but rooted in the obvious trauma Tony was experiencing. This made it a bit easier for him not to worry too much about the sudden waves of distress, pain, or coldness. He shared his thoughts with Tony, hoping it might help if Tony didn't think too much about what was happening inside his body. By now, Thor doubted it had been a good idea to listen to Tony and keep everything a secret. As much as he wished it were different, Tony needed help, and Thor probably couldn't do enough. Thor could imagine he himself wouldn't have reacted more understandingly. He probably would have said the same, not wanting to publicize how he was feeling.
Two days later, Jarvis informed Tony that there was a highly important call coming in. Thor stepped aside a little while Tony was talking to give him some privacy but didn't leave, knowing he'd only make things worse then. When Tony put the phone onto the nightstand and sighed deeply, Thor moved closer once more, sitting down beside him.
“Is something wrong? Is Lady Pepper fine?” Tony nodded absentmindedly, getting up slowly.
“Yeah, she just called to remind me of a 'highly important' political conference. It's about giving families with severely ill kids more efficient support, and I volunteered to finance most of it.” Thor watched as Tony quickly walked over to his wardrobe, randomly grabbing some clothes and putting them on.
“So you want to attend this meeting?” The scientist nodded, now fully dressed, and threw a quick glance into the mirror, adjusting his hair.
“Then I better come along, right?” Tony hesitated briefly.
“I had to reserve in advance. Only the registered participants are allowed entrance into the building.” Tony walked back over to the bed, standing in front of Thor. Thor saw Tony was trying his best to be strong, but he still spotted the slight trembling in his hands. He stood up quickly, taking both his lover's hands into his own.
“It won't last long, right?”
The brunette shook his head in response, still not moving from his position. Thor hugged him gently, stroking a hand through his hair.
“Listen, I'll be right here when you come back. You're not alone in there. There are a lot of people around who would all step in if anyone tried to harm you. I know those people scare you—they do the same to me. But they're dead for the most part. They're not coming after you. What you're seeing is not real, although it might appear so realistic it scares you. You'll be back here in only a few hours. I know you can do this if you truly want to.” They stayed like this for a few more seconds, silently looking at each other. Then Tony left, and Thor stayed, watching after him, hoping what he had just said had sounded as realistic as Tony's schizophrenia.
-------
He received Pepper's call after one and a half or two hours. When he saw her number pop up on his phone, he immediately felt uneasy, sensing something might be wrong. He accepted the call, waiting for her to start the conversation.
“Thor? Thor, is that you?” There was no way Thor could miss the clear stress and upset strain in her voice.
“Lady Pepper! What's the matter?”
“Tony! He suddenly ran out of the conference room without any warning! Someone saw him running towards the restrooms. He's curled up in a corner and doesn't respond to anything we're saying. He doesn't even seem to hear us properly; he's covering his ears and has his eyes closed, but he's not unconscious.” Thor listened carefully, taking in all the information she was giving him. Dozens of questions raced through his mind. What? What the hell was going on?
“Listen, I'm coming there right now. Don't try to touch him or do anything else. Leave the room and take everyone else with you. Close the door, but don't lock it so he can get out if he wants to.” Then he hung up, shoved his phone into his pocket, and rushed out of the flat, not even taking the time to lock the door before calling Mjolnir and dashing into the sky.
------
Admittedly, when Thor arrived at the scene, he had no clue what could be going on. Upon entering the building, it wasn't hard to find Pepper. She was standing near the restrooms, surrounded by a crowd of about 100 or 200 people. Thor approached her directly, pausing briefly in his steps.
“Tell them to retreat to the meeting room; we'll need some space.”
“You know what's wrong with him? Does it have something to do with his sickness?”
“That's what I assume, yes.” Thor didn't waste any more time in conversation, only waiting until the crowd had moved on before quietly opening the door. As described, Tony was lying in the farthest corner, knees drawn up to his chest, face hidden in the darkness. When he cautiously stepped closer, he saw that Tony was indeed pressing his hands over his ears. He knelt down on the floor, still a few feet away, then inched closer extremely slowly. Tony didn't show any reaction as he neither heard nor saw that Thor was there. When he'd gotten close enough, he slowly stretched out his hand, lightly touching Tony's shoulder. At the touch, Tony's hands dropped and he darted around, obviously scared. Thor retreated a little, looking straight at him.
“Tony, don't be afraid. I'm here. Can you look at me?” Thor did his best to speak quietly, although the rising concern in his chest made it hard to do so. Tony flinched at hearing his voice, about to cover his ears once again.
“Is it too loud?” Thor's voice was hushed to its minimum now, just loud enough to be audible. The scientist only managed half of a nod, but it was enough for Thor to understand. He now noticed that Tony was shivering slightly, holding his hands in front of his chest as some sort of protection. “Don't you want to try to open your eyes? There's no one else around, I promise.” Tony hesitated for some time before blinking his eyes open, briefly looking at Thor before moaning in pain and covering them with his hands. Thor understood now, getting up and quickly switching off the lights before sitting down again, a little closer this time.
“The lights are out now. I'll be back in no time, Tony. I'll get something to help you.” The small nod was enough reaction for him. He walked out of the room, where Pepper was still waiting anxiously, alone this time.
“What's up, Thor? How is he?” Thor didn't consider answering her question, coming to stand beside her.
“Lady Pepper, I need headphones. If possible, the strongest you can get quickly.” Pepper's confusion didn't lessen at that, only increased.
“Yes, I think we've got some noise-cancelling ones around somewhere but—”
“That sounds perfect. Bring them here. And do you also have some darkened glasses?”
----
As soon as he received the items he had requested a few minutes earlier, he walked back into the room, finding Tony still in the same position. He shut the door as quietly as he could, then returned to his place beside him. Thor bent down and gently placed the headphones over Tony's ears. He then lifted Tony's hands from his eyes, immediately replacing them with the black glasses he had brought. Within seconds, Tony seemed to relax, apparently more at peace. Thor sighed internally. He would have loved to take Tony home immediately, away from the crowd and back to safety. However, he knew that doing so would only make things worse, so he stayed, quickly removing his cape. He slid closer and carefully wrapped the large piece of cloth around Tony's slender body, something he would normally have done with a blanket. Then he sat down cross-legged and gently touched Tony's cheek. When Tony leaned into him slightly, Thor carefully moved his hand down to Tony's neck, guiding the now blind and deaf man so his head was resting in his lap. He didn't dare to hug him completely, only lightly keeping an arm around his shoulders.
------
Looking back now, he couldn't recall how long they had been sitting like that. He only knew that at some point, Tony had completely calmed down, lying limp in his arms. He had waited a bit longer before attempting to remove the glasses. It had worked without major issues. Tony's eyes had taken a moment to readjust, but he wasn't as terrified as before. Once the headphones were off, they sat in silence for a while before Thor offered to take Tony home and put him to bed, which Tony gratefully accepted. Thor had done exactly as promised, carrying him out of the building without stopping, not even informing Pepper about what was happening. It wasn't because he didn't want to, but simply because he knew Tony needed to be taken away from the crowd as quickly as possible.
They didn't talk much that day. Tony fell asleep soon after their arrival, wrapped in several blankets in bed. The next day, they did talk. Tony told him about the meeting, which had been going quite well until... he had started seeing his punishers again and had been on the verge of panicking. His collaborators hadn't noticed, continuing their discussion. From Tony's account, Thor gathered that suddenly, all the voices had become overwhelmingly loud and the lights in the room had literally pierced his eyes. It had hit Tony so unexpectedly and brutally that he had run out of the room to the place he knew was the quietest.
------
The next day, Thor went to the nearest supermarket to restock the fridge, leaving Tony alone at home for a brief period. When he returned approximately half an hour later, he was surprised to find that Tony was no longer in bed. He quickly dropped the groceries in the kitchen and began searching for his genius. He eventually found him in the bathroom, sitting on the floor with his knees drawn up to his chest, crying with a knife in his shaking hands.
“Tony, no!” Thor was beside him in an instant, pulling the blade from Tony's wrist and out of his hand in one swift motion. The brunette didn't even seem to notice him, trembling uncontrollably, his breaths coming in sudden gasps. Thor threw the bloody knife aside, sat down cross-legged, and pulled Tony into his lap. He then ripped some fabric from his cape to stop the scratches on Tony's wrist from bleeding with his own trembling hands. Thankfully, Tony hadn't aimed to kill himself; he had only cut deep enough to draw blood, not to cause serious harm. Thor didn't say a word, simply holding Tony close and stroking his brunette locks.
A few minutes later, Tony had calmed down a little, lying motionless in his lover's arms. Thor was busy keeping his own tears from falling.
“Tony…” Thor didn't know what to say. He wanted to tell Tony that they would sort everything out, that there was no reason for him to hurt himself, but he knew it wasn't true. Tony had been through so much lately and was scared all the time. It made sense to Thor. He pulled his genius even closer, flinching to hold back his own tears. “Why have you done this to yourself?” His voice was soft and full of love, nearly breaking.
“I-I'm s-sorry, I'm sorry, I'm s-sorry,” Tony stammered.
“Shhh, shh, it's - it's okay, Tony it's-”
“ - sorry, s-sorry I-I'm s-so-sorry, I'm-” Thor quickly leaned down, shushing the apologies with a tender kiss.
“There's nothing you have to be sorry for, Tony. It's okay. It's alright, love. We'll find a way to get you out of this, okay? I promise. I promise, just - just please, - don't give up. - We'll find a way to make you feel better, baby. I, - I promise, you - you'll get back to health.” That was when his own tears finally started to fall.
---------
Despite how terrifying the experience had been for both of them, there was a silver lining. Tony’s horror and distress over what had happened made it easy for Thor to persuade him that therapy was the only viable way to get help. Thor quickly realized that Tony was deeply afraid of opening up about his personal struggles. The scientist was usually quite talkative, except when it came to his own issues. Thor had been shaped by his past experiences with Loki, who had descended into madness because Thor had never fully understood the demons his brother had been facing — at least not until those demons had taken control of him. Thor knew Loki resented him for this, and Loki had made his feelings clear. But more than anything, Thor despised himself for being too blind, or perhaps too ignorant, to recognize how much his brother had suffered over the centuries.
What Thor had learned from this was the importance of being more attentive when interacting with others. That’s why he had noticed Tony’s unusual behavior, which most people dismissed as his typical manner of communication, quite quickly. Nonetheless, it took Tony several months to open up about the issues troubling him, even after they had confessed their love and officially become a couple. It was understandable that discussing such private matters with someone he barely knew was terrifying for him. Thor, however, did his best to encourage Tony to open up, eventually succeeding when he agreed to accompany Tony and stay with him through the therapy sessions, at least until Tony felt more secure.
Tony’s psychologist, a young man in his early thirties named Liam Ratliss, greeted them with a warm and kind smile. He made no comment about Thor’s presence, understanding that his presence was a comfort to Tony. It took a while for Tony to start talking. Thor sat right next to him, offering his most genuine and reassuring smile. Eventually, Tony began to recount the events from months ago, pausing frequently to collect himself or steady his breathing. Mr. Ratliss remained patient, allowing Tony as much time as he needed, which meant that the entire session was spent gathering the necessary information.
When they returned home, Tony nearly collapsed in tears, utterly exhausted from being reminded of the traumatic events that had led to his current state. Thor lay down with him immediately, letting Tony rest his head on his chest and holding him close until the sobbing subsided. Later that day, Thor let Tony sleep while he prepared food for them.
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In the subsequent therapy sessions, Mr. Ratliss explained that Tony was experiencing PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder, resulting from the imprisonment and torture he had endured. While they were both already somewhat aware of this, given their own past experiences, Tony had previously refrained from seeking help and had attempted to manage his symptoms alone. What troubled him now was the change in his symptoms, which differed significantly from those he had experienced before. The psychologist clarified that PTSD could manifest in numerous ways, including Tony's symptoms: insomnia, recurring and intensely vivid nightmares, psychosomatic responses to stress — such as headaches, stomach cramps, uncontrollable shivers, or sudden weakness — and even symptoms resembling schizophrenia, like hearing or seeing things that weren’t real.
“And what about the time he mentioned, when he couldn't stand any noise or light? Does that also relate to this?” Thor asked hesitantly. It was the first time he had spoken during the therapy session.
“That would be classified as 'sensory overload.' It can occur in anyone, particularly under high stress or fear. Given the range of symptoms Tony was experiencing at the time — combined with his sleep deprivation, terror from his delusions, and overall stress — his symptoms had compounded into physical manifestations.” Mr. Ratliss looked at Tony, who was listening intently. “You probably couldn't understand why you were feeling so unwell. You might have thought there was something wrong with your body.” Tony nodded briefly, his gaze fixed on his hands, which were clasped tightly in his lap. “So essentially, your various symptoms amplified each other, resulting in what was essentially a panic attack, though it presented differently this time,” Mr. Ratliss explained. Thor nodded thoughtfully.
“Will this happen again?” Thor asked, concerned. Mr. Ratliss informed them that it was likely Tony would continue to experience symptoms for some time. He prescribed medications to alleviate them somewhat but cautioned that improvement might not come quickly, given the number and complexity of Tony's symptoms. Later, they picked up the prescribed medications from the nearest pharmacy, finding that Tony had two different types of medicine to take: one after breakfast and the other in the early afternoon before lunch. Thor felt a measure of relief knowing that Mr. Ratliss had advised Tony not to return to work for the foreseeable future. This way, Thor would be there to remind Tony to take his medicine, which was crucial given that Tony was still deeply upset and often exhausted, occasionally breaking into tears without clear cause. Thor didn’t worry too much about it, understanding that the prescribed sleeping drugs were not yet fully effective and knowing that Tony had more than enough reasons for such emotional responses — more than anyone he had ever known.
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Two weeks had passed. Tony had been seeing his psychologist every other day, and Thor had noticed that it had become easier for Tony to trust the man, who always greeted him with a comforting smile and calming words. Although Tony wasn’t as frightened as he used to be, Thor still accompanied him, though he never interfered. Instead, he simply listened and ensured that Tony was okay. Thor couldn’t say that things had improved significantly, though. While he didn’t expect Tony’s condition to change overnight, it was still exhausting to see him in constant distress. Thor remained calm, fully aware that his own panic would only hinder both of them. He had even grown accustomed to Tony’s sudden schizophrenic outbursts, knowing that the best way to calm him was to repeatedly reassure him that everything was fine and that he was right there until the panic subsided.
That day was another of Tony’s therapy sessions, and they had agreed that Thor would go grocery shopping in the meantime. Now, they were standing in front of the doctor’s office, saying their goodbyes.
“ — And you really don’t mind going alone? I can stay and do that later,” Thor asked, concern evident in his eyes.
“N-no, I— I think I can manage. Will you pick me up later?” Tony asked. Thor wrapped an arm around Tony’s waist reassuringly, gently pulling him into a protective hug.
“Yes, my genius. I’ll be here as soon as you leave the doctor’s office. Don’t worry about that, okay?” Thor bent down and gave Tony a long, tender kiss. Then he let go of Tony, who glanced at him briefly before turning to leave.
“—Okay. See you later then. Love you, Sunshine.”
“I love you too, Tony. Take care of yourself.” Thor stood still, watching as Tony opened the door and walked inside, then as the door closed behind him. He released a long-held sigh, hoping that everything would go well. He knew it was probably irrational and paranoid, but he felt uneasy leaving his genius alone for the first time in weeks.
-------
Two hours had passed, and Thor was dashing through the streets of New York, his speed nothing short of reckless. This wasn’t how he’d planned his day. To be precise, this shouldn’t have happened at all. Shortly after the blonde had left to organize their food, he’d received an urgent call from Asgard. Odin wished to speak with him immediately, and Thor was instructed to use the Bifrost to get there as soon as possible. Knowing that defying Odin’s orders was not an option, Thor had asked Heimdall to transport him back to Asgard.
He had hoped that whatever Odin needed to discuss would be resolved within an hour, allowing him to return in time. To ensure Tony wasn’t left waiting, Thor had sent him a message, informing him of the Asgardian summons, advising Tony to head home if Thor wasn’t back before he left the building and promising he'd come back to him soon. Thor had initially tried calling Tony, but as expected, his phone was turned off during the appointment.
Thor had been further irritated when Odin assigned him an additional task in Nidavellir. Although it was a brief assignment, Thor suspected that it would take more than an hour to complete. He pleaded with Odin to delegate the task to someone else, but when Odin threatened banishment if Thor didn’t comply, he had no choice but to acquiesce.
Finally, after two hours, Thor was allowed to return and had requested Heimdall to take him back to New York. Sprinting through the streets, dodging speeding cars in his frantic attempt to get home, Thor’s phone buzzed. Expecting to see Tony’s number, he quickly pulled it out, only to find Mr. Ratliss calling. They had exchanged numbers, in case a meeting needed to be canceled or Tony might need immediate assistance. Thor answered the call while continuing his run.
“Mr. Odinson?” The psychologist’s voice was as calm as ever, though Thor detected a hint of strain.
“Yes, Mr. Ratliss? Is something wrong?” Thor was aware that he sounded out of breath, but his primary concern was reaching Tony.
“I just wanted to check if everything is alright with Mr. Stark. The session seemed to bring up a lot of emotions, and he appeared quite upset when he left. Is he okay, or—”
“I’m not sure. I had an important appointment and couldn’t pick him up, but I sent him a message and he’s read it, so ...” There was a brief pause on the other end of the line.
“I understand. It might be best if you get home quickly and check on him. He’s probably fine, but you know how it is with him; you can never be too sure.”
“I’ll let you know as soon as I’m home with him.” Thor ended the call abruptly, not waiting for farewells. His pace quickened as he neared their home. He was relieved that the doctor had called. He already prepared himself for the possibility of finding Tony messed-up in bed, probably crying or hallucinating again. Or another sensory overload? Thor worked to calm his racing thoughts with deep breaths as he crossed the final street leading to their home.
---------
When he burst through the door, Thor’s eyes immediately fell on Tony’s jacket, carelessly discarded on the floor. At least he had made it home. Without pausing to pick it up, Thor hurried into the bedroom, only to be met with emptiness. He stopped in his tracks, hesitating for a moment.
“Tony?” He considered kneeling down to look under the bed. There had been a night when Tony’s nightmares had driven him to hide there, hoping to escape from the world. Thor knelt and peered into the darkness, but saw only shadows and dust. Rising to his feet, his breath quickened as he left the room to search the rest of the house. The kitchen and living room were his first stops, but he found no trace of Tony. Fortunately, the cottage had only a few rooms, so the next logical place was the bathroom. Thor’s heart raced when he found the door locked from the inside.
“Tony? Tony, are you in there? Tony, if you can hear me, let me in. It’s me, Thor!” There was no response. What troubled him way more was the complete silence from within. As an Asgardian, Thor didn’t need to press his ear to the door to sense only the slightest sound, but the silence was unnerving. His vision blurred, and a wave of dizziness swept over him. Without hesitation, he stepped back, turned slightly, and charged shoulder-first into the door, shattering it in an instant.
He rushed into the darkened room and flicked on the light. As his eyes adjusted to the brightness, his body went into shock, unable to move, staring blankly at what was lying in front of him. Tony lay on the floor in the farthest corner, near the bathtub, unconscious. A knife, stained crimson with blood, rested beside him. Tony was curled on his side, his head against the wall, blood pooling around him.
When Thor managed to regain his composure, he fell to his knees beside Tony’s limp form. Now that he was closer, he saw that Tony’s wrists were slit, blood spilling freely onto the floor.
“Tony! Tony, can you hear me? Tony, say something! Answer me!” Thor acted on autopilot, grabbing towels and pressing them onto Tony’s wounds, desperately trying to staunch the bleeding while searching for a heartbeat. His hands shook so violently that he couldn’t tell if he was feeling Tony’s heartbeat or just his own frantic movements.
He carefully lifted Tony from the blood-soaked floor and cradled him in his arms, his gaze still fixed on the blood staining Tony’s entire body and clothing, even matting his hair. Struggling to stand, Thor’s legs barely supported him as he left the ravaged room, racing for the exit. His heart pounded fiercely, and his breaths came in ragged gasps.
“Tony! Tony, wake up! You have to wake up, baby! Please! Don’t — don’t leave me!” Without waiting for an answer he knew he might not get, Thor summoned Mjolnir and took to the skies, leaving the house behind with the door left ajar. As he flew, his gaze remained locked on Tony, who lay motionless in his arms, like a ragdoll. Tears streamed down his face, mingling with Tony’s blood and staining his tunic crimson.
“I'm sorry, baby! I'm sorry, I'm - so-sorry! I - I need you, pl-please, - don't leave me! - I - I can't lose you!”
--------
Thor watched as the paramedics carefully transferred Tony onto a gurney, taking his vital signs before swiftly wheeling him away. For a moment, Thor stood there, blankly staring after them, before he followed quickly. They rushed Tony into the emergency department, engaged in urgent conversation while Thor remained silent, standing by Tony's side. One of the paramedics approached a nurse, briefing her on the situation. Thor barely registered their words, catching only fragments like "suicide" and "likely slit his arteries."
The nurse then guided them into a secluded room where Tony was promptly connected to an IV and various medications Thor couldn't identify. One of the paramedics, noticing Thor's silent, pale demeanor as he swayed slightly on his feet, approached him.
"Sir, Mr. Stark will receive immediate care. Could you please step outside and wait in the waiting area?" The paramedic's tone was firm yet compassionate. Thor didn't meet his gaze, only shaking his head in response.
"Mr. Odinson, I understand this is difficult, but you can't stay with him. They won’t allow it. I’m sorry, but they’ll inform you as soon as visiting is permitted." Thor hesitated, glancing back at Tony.
"Will—will he make it? Will he survive?" His voice was a fragile whisper.
"I don’t know, sir. All I can tell you is that everyone here is doing everything they can. Please, come with me." The paramedic gently placed a hand on Thor's shoulder, guiding him to a row of chairs. Thor sat down heavily, his gaze lost in the distance. The paramedic cast one last apologetic look before leaving to continue his duties.
Thor remained in the waiting area, which was crowded with patients and anxious families, the buzz of conversation and the persistent ring of telephones fading into the background. Immersed in a numb silence, he felt his composure shatter. Tears streamed down his face as he buried his head in his arms, shaking uncontrollably. He was oblivious to the curious glances from others and didn't even noticed he was murmuring Tony's name over and over. His voice was barely audible as he repeated, "Tony, Tony, please! Please! I’m sorry, Tony! I-I’m sorry, please, Tony!"
---------
When a nurse approached Thor to inform him that Tony was stable, at least for the time being, and that he could visit him, Thor managed to collect himself enough to enter the room where Tony had been taken. As he shut the door behind him and looked around the room, his gaze fell on Tony, who was lying in the hospital bed. Despite everything they had endured over the past months, it was still terrifying to see the condition his genius was in. Dressed in a white hospital gown, Tony appeared even more fragile than before. His brunette hair was now colouredred with blood, his chest rose and fell with shallow breaths, and his body was connected to numerous IV drips. His wrists, covered with bandages, lay limply beside his small, delicate form. Though the respiratory mask covered half of his face, Thor could see that Tony's eyes were still closed.
It was probably for the best, Thor thought to himself. At least this way, there would be no nightmares to disturb his rest. The blonde approached the bed hesitantly, pulling up a chair to sit beside it. His thoughts were still swirling, but now that he knew Tony was alive, they gradually began to settle, allowing him to breathe a sigh of relief. They would make it, wouldn’t they? They would get through this and return home. And then — perhaps — they could fix everything. It had to be that way. It simply had to.
-------
When Tony opened his eyes for the first time, it was a few hours later and Thor was still sitting next to him, watching over him. As soon as the scientist had opened his eyes only the slightest, Thor was skidding a little closer, locking eyes with him.
“ - Tony? Tony, can you hear me?” He asked in a hushed tone as to not startle him. Tony took a shaky breath, looking around in confusion.
“ - Th- - Thor, wh-where - where - am I?”
“Everything's okay, my love. - I've brought you into hospital. - it's gonna be fine, Tony. You - you'll get back to health and - and then, - we'll go back home and - take care of the rest.” Thor cautiously stretched out a hand, carefully interlacing their fingers, without moving Tony's arm from where it was lying.
“ - Th-Thor, I'm - I'm - s-sorry, I - didn't - didn't wanna ... Was - was so upset and - when - when I got out you - weren't there, - 've read your message and - got h-home but - the - the traffic and - lights and - c-crowd I - could- - couldn't stand it and-” Tony trailed off, apparently too exhausted to go on.
“ - You don't have to be sorry for anything. - It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong, Tony. - All of this could've been avoided if I would have stayed with you but - we'll work this out, Tony. The therapy will help, even if not right away. I will help you somewhen. Now you - just rest and - try to recover and - then - we'll take care of everything else. - Then we'll go back home, baby.” At that sentence, Tony's eyes brightened up a little and Thor couldn't hide a melancholic smile from spreading across his face. He watched as Tony's eyes slowly fell close once again, not saying another word. When his genius was almost back asleep, his lips suddenly parted once more.
“ - You - you know, it's - 's not even that bad here.” Thor hesitated briefly before asking.
“ - What do you mean, my genius?” He had to wait a little for an answer, but Thor was the least to complain about that.
“ - It's - first time in - months sleepin' with - no nightmares.”
...
Thor bent down, putting a small, tender kiss to Tony's forehead, smiling while one single tear fell from his eyes. Because that was the moment, he knew for sure that he'd get the real Tony, his genius, back. Somewhen. No matter how many terrible challenges they'd have to face on their way.