fantasies.

"What?"

"It's not that big of a deal!" you said quickly, raising your hands as if to ward off the incoming argument.

"Not a big deal? You just asked to- to-" Miguel couldn't even get the words out, embarrassed by them in a way he couldn't even articulate.

"I know it's weird, but I thought... Look, we don't have to, it was just a suggestion, okay?" Your voice was low and your eyes were unable to meet his.

You and Miguel weren't anywhere close to vanilla, so you hadn't expected your suggestion to be so controversial. Now that Miguel was looking at you as though you had grown another head, your face was beginning to heat up with embarrassment.

After a painfully awkward stretch of silence, Miguel spoke up, "That's... that's what you're into?"

"It was just an idea, okay? It doesn't mean anything," you said quickly, trying to reassure Miguel. "In fact," you said with a forced smile, "we can forget about it. This conversation did not happen."

You stood from the bed to make a beeline for the door when you felt a warm hand on your wrist, halting you in place.

"I didn't say no."

"But you also didn't say yes." you pointed out.

Miguel didn't answer right away, so you slowly turned around, hoping the expression on his face would give you a better clue as to what was going on in his mind. Instead, his face was red, and his gaze was trained on the floor, the opposite of a clue.

"What are you thinking?" you asked quietly, despite not really wanting to know the answer.

"I'm thinking about what you said."

"Yeah?

"And how I wouldn't be opposed to it."

You choked on air, and Miguel let out a short, nervous laugh, finally meeting your eyes.

"Seriously?!" you gasped.

"Yeah," Miguel nodded pulling you close and wrapping his arms around your waist. "Just... maybe not tonight."

You were quick to nod, your ownbashfulness forgotten at the prospect of this happening in the future.

"Whenever you're ready! No pressure, I promise."

Miguel smiled, a soft one that only appeared when the two of you were alone, and leaned in to kiss you softly. You could feel the nerves he had been hiding from you seep into the kiss, but there was also an underlying current of excitement. You broke away with a smile.

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet, we haven't even done it," Miguel muttered, the tips of his ears burning.

"It's a thanks for even considering it. You can change your mind at any point, okay?"

"I know," he nodded, and your smile was blinding.

A month passed, and you didn't bring it up again. Neither did Miguel. The conversation had been awkward enough the first time, and it seemed neither of you had a desire to do it again. As time passed, you began to think Miguel had forgotten all about it, and maybe that was for the best.

That's why you were completely caught off guard one night when you returned home from running errands to find Miguel sitting on the edge of the bed. He was dressed casually in his is bed clothes, shirtless with a pair of low-riding sweats, but the flush of his cheeks and his dilated pupils weregiving anything but normalcy. Not to mention, his his arousal was visibly straining against his pants.

"Um, hi?" you said, putting your bag down, "Are you okay?"

Miguel's only answer was to hold up a small bottle, the lubricant you kept in your bedside drawer.

You blinked in confusion. You were more than happy toenjoy intimate time with Miguel, but there was no way his strange behaviour was just a preface for making love.

"Okay..." you said slowly, sitting next to him. "Is this a bad time to say you're scaring me?"

"I thought about it." Miguel said suddenly.

"Thought about what?"

"What you suggested a few weeks ago."

The two of you looked at each other for a moment, before realization struck and your lips parted slightly in surprise.

"You... you want to do it tonight?" you asked carefully.

Miguel's nod was jerky, like his muscles were protesting the action. You took a moment to look him over, searching for any hint that he was uncomfortable with the situation.

"Only if you're sure," you said. "If you're not, that's okay. We can just forget about this and—"

"I'm sure."

"I just don't want you to feel like you have to do it for my sake or anything."

"I don't."

"We don't even have to do it tonight, we could just talk about it and plan for another time—"

"I already prepared myself."

Your words died in your throat at that, your mouth hanging open as you processed his words.

"Y-you what?"

Miguel didn't repeat himself, only handing you the bottle, and the realization of what he had done dawned on you.

"Oh. Oh! Shit, okay, well," you said, your own cheeks heating up at the vivid imageryhis admission conjured.

Had Miguel stretched himself open while he waited for you to get home? Did he think of you, your fingers buried deep inside him as he fingered himself open? Had he already come once, or was he still achingly hard and leaking?

"Fuck," you groaned, throwing your leg over his lap and straddling him, not missing the way he jolted at the sudden contact.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a deep kiss, letting the bottle in your hand fall onto the bed so you could thread your fingers through his hair. Miguel's hands moved to rest on your hips, holding you close to him. You kissed him hard, trying to pour all of your love and reassurance into the kiss.

You couldn't believe this was about to happen. For months, you had had a fleeting fantasy that you had been sure would never see the light of day. You were a little afraid that when it came time, Miguel wouldn't be as into it as he claimed to be. The fact that he had been the one to initiate was sending your mind reeling—

"Uh, Miguel?" you spoke up suddenly, leaning back when a realization struck you, "I've never done this before so I'm underprepared. I don't have a..." you made a vulgar gesture with your hands that made Miguel snort a laugh, the tension in his shoulders easing a bit.

"Since you were so enthusiastic when you brought it up I assumed you had that part taken care of."

"Oh my god," you laughed, hiding your face in his neck. "I'm sorry, I just got so excited when I was bringing it up and didn't really think it through."

Miguel chuckled, pressing a kiss to your shoulder, "It's okay. We can do it next time, but for now..." he trailed off, lifting his hips up to grind his hard cock against you, "I've been waiting all afternoon."

You let out a breathless laugh, leaning forward to capture his lips once more, your hips rocking against his. Miguel's hands tightened around your hips, pulling you even closer, and you whimpered into the kiss.

You couldn't believe he had been so ready and eager for that, and you cursed yourself for not having the foresight to buy the right equipment.

Still, that by no means meant the nighthad to be a loss.

You leaned back, and Miguel chased your lips, but stopped when he saw the smirk on your face, eyes narrowing with suspicion.

"What's that look for?"

"Well," you purred, trailing a finger down his chest, "We may not have everything we need, but there are plenty of things we can still do."

Miguel opened his mouth to question what you were getting at, but then you were sliding off his lap and sinking down onto your knees between his legs, and the words died on his tongue.

"How about I take care of this for you and you tell me how you fingered yourself earlier, hm?"

The sound of embarrassment Miguel made was one you wanted to hear over and over, and you reached forward to palm him through his pants, relishing the way he jolted at the touch.

"Tell me," you whispered, mouthing at the bulge in his pants.

Miguel's breathing picked up, his hand moving down to thread his fingers through your hair.

He looked conflicted, his pride wanting to keep the whole thing a secret, but the way you were licking and kissing his clothed cock had his resolve wavering.

"It felt..." Miguel tried to speak, giving up with a short huff of air whenthe words failed him.

"It felt?"

Miguel swallowed thickly, and he looked away from you, "Weird."

"Good, weird? Or 'fuck this shit' weird?"

"Good, weird."

You pouted, not satisfied with the simplistic answer. "Keep going," you encouraged, hooking your fingers in the waistband of his sweats. "What felt good? Your fingers inside you?"

"Yes," Miguel groaned, his voice breathy as you freed his cock, licking a long stripe from the base to the tip.

"How many did you use? Two? Three?"

"Two."

"Did you imagine they were mine?"

"Yes," Miguel choked out, his grip on your hair tightening.

"Fuck,you're hot," you sighed at the imagery, finally taking the head of his cock into your mouth, sucking softly.

Miguel let out a quiet noise of pleasure, his hips lifting a bit to press further into the wet heat of your mouth.

Your chest fluttered with pleasant surprise when Miguel spoke up without your prompting, "I wanted to make sure I was ready for you."

His voice was barely above a whisper, and you weren't sure if he was embarrassed or if it was an attempt to rile you up, but either way it was working.

You moaned around his cock, bobbing your head to take more of him in. You used the hand that wasn't working his balls to stroke what you couldn't reach with your mouth.

"You were so eager and I—ah, fuck— Iwanted to give you what you wanted," Miguel continued, his voice breathy.

Your eyes closed in bliss, the confession making you shiver. Miguel wasn't normally a talker, but he was clearly trying because he knew you liked it, and you couldn't wait to show him how much you appreciated it.

You pulled back until just the tip was resting on your tongue, your eyes fluttering open to meet Miguel's. He was looking down at you, his face flushed, lips parted and brow furrowed.

The hand in your hair moved, cupping your cheek gently, and your heart stuttered. You were so in love with this man.

You leaned into his touch, closing your eyes once more and taking him as far into your mouth as you could, hollowing your cheeks as you sucked.

Miguel's breath hitched, and his hips rocked forward. You didn't protest, taking his length and letting him move as he pleased, only relaxing your throat and opening your eyes to meet his gaze.

Miguel looked wrecked, his eyes hazy with lust, the blush on his cheeks spreading down his neck. When you sensed that he was nearing his release, you pulled back, wiping your mouth with the back of your wrist.

Miguel huffed at the sudden loss of sensation, and he looked about ready to complain when you pushed him back so he was lying down. He stared up at you, confusion clear on his face, but you were already tugging his pants and underwear down, throwing them aside.

Miguel opened his mouth to ask what was going on, but the words died in his throat when you pushed his legs apart, settling between them.

"Is this okay?" you asked, running your hands up his thighs.

It took a moment for Miguel to catch on to what you were implying, but when he did, he threw an arm over his face, "Don't ask stupid questions."

His embarrassment was clear, but there was no hesitancy or discomfort in his body language.

"Just making sure," you assured him.

Miguel didn't protest or make any noises of discomfort as you pushed his legs up and leaned down, pressing a kiss to his knee, trailing soft, gentle kisses along his inner thigh. Miguel tensed when you drew closer to his groin, and you looked up at him, making sure he was still comfortable.

You felt around the bed until you found the lube, unwilling to look away from the feast in front of you. You popped the cap of the open as you pressed more kisses along his thighs, coating your fingers liberally, before setting it aside and wrapping one hand around the base of Miguel's stiff cock. The laboured breath he released when you did so was a pleased one, and you began slowly workinghis twitching arousal, waiting until his hips were rocking again and he was panting softly.

Your other slick hand slowly moved down, fingers trailing along the underside of his balls and further still, stopping when your fingertips met the warm skin of his rim. Miguel tensed for a moment, his breath catching.

"Still okay?" you asked, gentlycircling the ring of muscle with your middle finger.

Miguel's chest heaved with each breath he took, and his arm remained over his face, covering his eyes. His hips gave a slight roll, pushing him against your fingers.

You knew that was his way of saying yes inspite of his embarrassment, and you leaned forward, pressing your tongue to the head of his cock as you slowly pushed a single finger inside him.

Miguel tensed at the intrusion, but he adjusted quickly, likely a testament tohim preparing himself earlier. The thought of him stretching himself openfor you had heat pooling in your stomach, and you moaned around the tip of his cock, sucking as you pushed your finger in and out, letting him get used to the sensation.

He drank you up greedily,clenching around your finger, and you took the chance to slowly add another, pausing to gauge his reaction. Miguel's cock twitched in your mouth, and the noise he let out was almost a whimper.

Fuck,Miguel O'Hara was going to be the death of you.

You started moving your fingers, slowly at first, but picking up speed and depth the more Miguel relaxed. It wasn't long before you had three fingers buried inside him, his cock leaking in your mouth.

You were determined to make Miguel feel good, and judging by the string of curses and groans coming from his lips, you were doing a good job. Still, you had done an internet deep dive on pegging when you had first become interested in it, and there were some tricks you were curious about.

You curled you fingers experimentally, searching for that sensitive bundle of nerves. It took a few tries but when Miguel jolted and choked out a moan, you knew you had found it.

"There it is," you murmured, pulling off his cock and stroking it leisurely as you continued to rub the pads of your fingers against his prostate.

Miguel was breathing heavy, his chest rising and falling rapidly. His face was still covered by his arm but his other hand had a death grip on the sheets, knuckles white with the force, and he was letting out a litany of breathy moans and curses that went straight to your core.

"How does it feel, Miguel?" you purred, working the head of his cock with your thumb. "You're taking my fingers so well."

"Shut. Up." Miguel gritted out, his voice a mix between a growl and a groan.

You let out a chuckle at his embarrassment, using your tongue to tease the tip of his cock.

It didn't take much longer after that. With the combined sensation of your fingers teasing his prostate and the hot, wet heat of your mouth, he came with a gasp, spilling himself into your mouth, the arm that was covering his eyes falling away as he tangled his fingers in your hair.

You worked him through his release, swallowing around his length, your fingers slowing and eventually withdrawing when his breathing calmed and he stopped clenching around them.

When you looked up at Miguel, his gaze was already fixed on you, and the look in his eyes could have drowned you. You crawled up his body, hovering above him and leaning down to kiss him, slow and sensual.

Miguel's hands moved, wrapping around your waist and pulling you down so you were flush against him. You sighed happily, deepening the kiss. You had been so focused on Miguel that you had brushed off the needy heat between your own legs, but now that it had your attention, the arousal was impossible to ignore.

Miguel's grip tightened on you, rolling the two of you over so he was the one on top, and he broke the kiss, looming over you. His eyes were half-lidded, his pupils blown wide, and the look of pure desire on his face made you shiver.

"My turn," Miguel breathed, his voice hoarse, and his hands slid under your shirt, hastily pulling it up and over your head.

You were more than happy to oblige.