dream of us in a year

“He sounds hot.”

“Oh, insanely hot. 2008’s sexiest man alive. I’m talking stained seats in movie theaters across the world kinda hot. AO3 is being filled with smut as we speak kinda hot.”

Al grimaced. They were currently opening the sofa bed, or at least Wade was trying to. The thing was probably older than Logan if such a thing were possible and always seemed one wrong move from falling to pieces. “Kind of like Logan too!” Wade gasped, the sound slightly muffled from his place under the half-open sofa bed where he was attempting to unjam the piece of shit.

“So what happened then? Someone finally took pity on your gay ass and you just bring them home?” Al mumbled.

“Yes. I’m a clingy motherfucker, you know this.” Wade groaned. “You really couldn’t have been useful for once and gotten us a better couch? I’m trying to look put together and adult here. The Fridhult comes in piss yellow, it would’ve been perfect.”

“Don’t get cheap on me now, we’re saving up for the Finnala. Maybe we could get it faster if you stopped being broke as hell.”

“Aha! I’ve got you, baby.” Wade slid from under the bed and opened it fully. “Yup, ease right out, nice and smooth. Look at me! I’m practically a handyman.”

He sighed and looked around, hands on his hips. Al was sat on her armchair with Mary curled up in her lap. The sight was so hideous Wade wanted to throw up with love. The sound of running water could be heard from the bathroom. Logan had been in there for a suspiciously long amount of time and Wade had wanted to ask him if he had finished yet (get it), but he’d been too busy frantically cleaning and arranging the apartment to his satisfaction. Not that he was nervous or anything.

It’d only been a few hours since he had invited The Wolverine to come live with them. He’d been completely sincere in the invitation but to be honest, he had expected Logan to manfully grumble some excuses and walk away or maybe even laugh in his face. For him to accept and actually seem sort of happy about it was a shock to Wade. He’d run to claim the shower first for totally unrelated reasons and now he was here, attempting to hide the shock with some good old manic cleaning.

He just couldn’t understand it. Logan was the deity of dude-bros everywhere. He was a lone wolf, angry, and self-isolating. Why in the world would he want to live with the human embodiment of an eyelash stuck in your eye? And on that note, the way he’d broken through the door to save him just hours ago like Deadpool held the last cuban cigar in the world. It all left Wade feeling emotionally constipated if he thought about it too much. Good thing he was a professional at not thinking.

“Anyways, hello there. I see you couldn’t get enough of me at the movie and decided to peruse our little red market of queer dreams. I hope you read some kinky shit before this one. I once read a real long one-shot of Hagrid and Dobby, that shit was titillating.” Wade spun slowly in a circle, squinting around. “Sorry, I’m used to more visual mediums. I’m not really sure where to look right now. Just imagine I’m looking at you through whatever angle you're seeing this in. And if you’re one of those losers that can’t visualize things, get fucked I guess.”

The sound of water stopped and Wade jolted back to his task, grabbing and launching pillows and blankets and the occasional stuffie onto the bed. Half of the items fell to the floor given the frankly pathetic amount of room.

“Wade.” Logan called through the door, only just audible.

Wade threw one last unicorn at the bed and skipped over to the bathroom. “Yes, sweetiekins?”

“Are you… Are these the only pajamas you have?”

“Yup, absolutely. I burned all the other ones just now so it’s either that or the birthday suit baby. Feel free to choose either or.”

Wade could practically feel the glare through the door.

“Here, take your rat.” Al pushed Mary in Wade’s general direction on her way to the bedroom and he rushed to catch her before the heathen dropped his precious child. “So you gonna explain to me where this man came from or not?”

“Sure! So, I jumped through the multiverse to get him. Well, not him specifically, just any version of him cause he’s a superhero and I needed some heroing asap or the universe would collapse. Turns out he’s actually The Superhero Of All Time so we need him to keep existing, at least according to the time police from the 60s. I became Marvel Jesus and saved Disney from death by public hatred. We had a beautiful adventure, bonded, laughed, stabbed each other, and saved the world by holding hands and listening to Madonna. And now we’re bonded like two rabid cats at a shelter with a ‘Do Not Seperate’ sign.”

“I should put you in a mental hospital.”

“You’re just jealous I get to cuddle a hunky bear all night and you don’t!”

“Whatever.” Al shuffled off to the bedroom. “Just don’t do anything nasty. I ain’t deaf.” She slammed the door shut.

“I think this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever worn.” Wade whirled around at the gruff voice behind him and squealed.

Logan’s hair was rumpled and slightly wet from the shower. He looked grumpy as always but also strangely at ease, like he was trying to hide that he found this amusing. Even better was the specifically hand-chosen pjs. A shirt with ‘Little Meow Meow’ written on it and Hello Kitty pants. Wade had thought the cat theme would go well with the hair. He was right.

“I’m a genius. And actually it’s not the stupidest, I’ve seen your goblin prince outfit in the comics. Although I would argue that’s actually your best outfit, I keep a picture of it in my special funtime drawer.” said Wade, as he arranged a little bed for Mary on the armchair.

Logan rolled his eyes and stretched his towel over a dining chair before turning back and looking at the bed. Most likely noticing the mass of plushies and Wade sitting down at the edge in his own pjs. (Ninja turtle pants and a Midwest Princess shirt for anyone wondering.) “Oh no.”

“Oh yes.” Wade flopped back onto the bed and stretched his arms over his head. “There was only one bed, baby. A classic.”

“You told me you had plenty of space.” Logan grumbled and looked around the room, eyeing the floor as if wondering its comfort level.

“We do! This is a very spacious one-bedroom apartment. And this is a very spacious full-sized sofa bed” He made some snow angels on the bed to demonstrate. The unicorn fell to the floor.

Logan didn’t move.

Wade sighed. “Look, we can get a mattress or something to throw on the floor later but right now, this is all I’ve got and I don’t think your old man back can take sleeping in the armchair, Peanut. Anyways, that’s Dogpool’s throne right now.”

Logan stared at him. Wade attempted a big brown eyes pretty please face, that only ever worked on Al. “Fine. Just move over.”

Wade clapped excitedly and rolled to a side, mentally noting the success of the please face.

Logan grunted and awkwardly shuffled into the bed, throwing a muscular Kuromi plush out of the way with a confused look. He laid down on his back as far from Wade as he could get without falling off, hands on his stomach, and stared at the ceiling.

Wade took all this in with laugh. “How long has it been since you slept with someone?”

Logan grimaced. Wade laughed again. “Not like that, you nasty.” he said and wiggled closer to a distance barely acceptable as personal space.

“So, that was some day huh? Did you see how that one lady wanted to fuck my Peter? I’ve always known he was a babe but I guess the rest of the world is catching up now.” Wade babbled. “I hope they get married and have little time jumping babies. I would be a great Uncle. We could go back in time and make sure Barney never exists. I’ve always wanted to kill Barney while singing that one song. I hate you, you hate me. Let’s get together and kill Barney. With a one shot, two-”

“Can you shut the hell up?” Logan snapped.

“Well, if you don’t want to talk then I have to fill the silence. That’s how our dynamic works.” Wade said.

Logan sighed and turned onto his side to face Wade. “If you talk in your sleep I’m gonna jump out the window.”

Their faces were only inches apart. They’d been this close plenty of times over the past few days but there was something different about it now. There was no threat of violence or danger anymore. Just two men, laying in bed, 10 inches apart cause they’re not gay.

Wade certainly enjoyed getting a good look at Logan, but this was Dilf Prime we’re talking about. Logan could not be enjoying his own view. Wade squirmed and made to turn away when he heard the snikt of claws unsheathing between them.

“Woah, woah, woah what happened to roommates, together forever, we’re Linda and Heather, best friends?” Wade shuffled back, maybe he overdid it on the lack of personal space. He flinched as a hand came up towards his face.

“I’m not gonna hurt you, idiot. You still have those stupid staples on your head.” said Logan, grabbing Wade’s face with the hand without claws to hold him still.

“Oh yeah, those.” Wade’s eyes widened as Logan held his face gently but firmly and started carefully pulling out the staples with a claw. He could feel the breath on his face, it smelled like toothpaste and liquor. Good god, he’d seen porn less homoerotic than this. “What are your thoughts on the hair system? Should I bring it back or keep rocking the Vader had a baby with Mr. Clean look?” He rambled, and if it came out a bit strangled, mind your own business.

“What did I say about calling it a hair system?”

“Um, I can’t remember but probably not to? That just makes me want to do it more though.”

Logan pulled out the last staple and turned around to place them on the table. He clicked the lamp off and groaned as he got comfortable again. He stayed facing away from Wade and pulled the blanket up to his shoulders. “I’m going to sleep now. Which means silence or I’ll use the claws for something else.”

“Don’t tempt me with a good time, Peanut.” Wade whispered.

He stared at the ceiling and tried very hard to keep his thoughts in his head. Silence, he could do silence. Maybe he should get a new wig, one Logan would like. He didn’t really seem like a middle-aged suburban car salesman type of guy. Would it be weird to get a wig shaped like Logan’s hair? He’s always wanted cat ears.

“How much do you think a good pair of furry ears costs?” A pillow was quickly smacked onto his face. Wade smiled into it before grabbing it and hitting Logan back with it. Maybe a little too hard, but it doesn’t really matter with them. “Do you think the Wolverine counts as a fursona? I bet you’d get all the furry ladies like that.”

A pillow slammed into his face so fast his voice muffled into it as he tried to keep talking. Logan pressed the pillow to his face. “14 seconds,” he said. “You stopped talking for 14 seconds. How the fuck are we supposed to sleep.”

Wade responded enthusiastically but it wasn’t very understandable with the pillow on his face. Not that he’s known for being very understandable anyways. He decided to gesture hugely with his hands to try to get his point across, using the minimal sign language he knew (only curse words and body parts). Wade could swear he heard Logan chuckle outside his pillow prison and god, if that wasn’t the best sound ever. He needed to hear it again and again. Totally normal platonic thoughts to have.

Wade flopped his arms down and politely tapped Logan’s arm. Any normal person surely would have suffocated by now. Logan sighed and took the pillow off. “I don’t talk if my mouth has something else to do, you know.” Wade said, without missing a beat.

Logan got up and walked to the kitchen.

“Oh! Hate to see him go but love to watch him leave.” Wade sat up to do said watching, of course. He also maybe wanted to make sure Logan wasn’t actually leaving. Once he just heard shuffling in the drawers he fell back and started singing. “Baby come back! You can blame it all on me.”

The shuffling stopped and Logan appeared in the doorway with a roll of duct tape in his hands.

Wade woke up in the middle of the night with something inside him. Usually, he wouldn’t complain about that but when said thing was three metal knives to the side it’s just not as fun.

He gasped and jolted upright. Logan pulled back immediately and the look of horror on his face was something Wade would not forget for a long time. He was breathing fast, staring right through Wade like he wasn’t there at all. Logan was saying something under his breath, so quietly Wade had to lean forward to hear it.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry” Over and over.

Wade hurriedly ripped the tape from over his mouth and grabbed Logan’s hands, his own blood dripping from the claws onto his fingers. “Hey, it’s okay! Unkillable cockroach remember?” He kept his voice quiet, sometimes Vanessa had woken up from nightmares like this too. There was less stabbing involved but still, this was something Wade knew, he could deal with this.

Logan was still staring into the distance and Wade knew he was seeing something else right now. People who couldn’t heal.

“I’ve got you, Peanut. We’re here in my apartment. Well, our apartment now. I kidnapped you remember? Uh, maybe shouldn’t say that at the moment. You actually decided to live here. With me, isn’t that just bonkers?” His voice was as gentle as he could make it and he brought one of Logan’s hands to his chest over his heart. When he had nightmares of his own he used to do that with Vanessa, just listen to her heartbeat. Shit, why couldn’t he stop thinking about her? This wasn’t the same. It’s not like Logan actually cared about Wade, he just needed a place to sleep.

“Logan?” Wade whispered, the usual humor gone from his voice.

At that Logan’s eyes snapped up to his. They just stared at each other for a moment. Logan pressed his hand to Wade’s heartbeat. His gaze flickered to the wound on Wade’s side which was already healing. The sight of the skin sewing itself back together seemed to ease something in him. He laid back down and gently pushed Wade down with him.

He kept a hand placed on Wade’s chest while Wade tried not to shit his pants about it. Logan stayed quiet. The gentle hum of the air conditioner, the occasional car noise, and the muffled sound of Al’s snoring were all that could be heard. To Wade, it sounded like home, but he wondered if to Logan it was just unfamiliar noise.

Wade couldn’t see Logan in the dark very well but if he squinted he could just see the profile of his face. Logan turned to look at him and Wade got the feeling Logan could see him clear as daylight.

“I’m sorry.” Logan whispered.

“Nope. Nothing to be sorry about, Peanut. It’s not like you’ve actually hurt me.”

“But I did hurt you. In the car.”

“Um, no. I’m pretty sure I healed from that too. Cool your ego, Wolvie. Your stabbing can’t hurt me.”

“I didn’t mean the stabbing.”

“Oh.”

Logan groaned. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I… I wasn’t really talking about you. Everything I said. It was. It was about me, really.” Logan spoke slowly, like every word was scratching his throat on the way out. If Wade was emotionally constipated, then Logan was Elvis in his last hours.

“I’m the one that doesn’t belong anywhere. The one that let everyone down. I failed. You might be annoying as all hell but you protected your family. Those words don’t apply to you.”

“Well, they don’t apply to you either, dickwad.” Frustration seemed to come at Wade out of nowhere. “Just a little reminder, you saved the world too. And you belong here now.” With me, the voice is his head added but Wade pushed it away.

Logan scoffed. “I might live here, but I sure as hell don’t belong here, bub. I’m not even meant to exist in this universe”

“It doesn’t matter because you do exist. The whole multiverse shtick might be convoluted and overdone at this point, but I know one thing that was very established in our movie and that’s that you belong here.

“Whatever.” Logan huffed and turned back to look at the ceiling. The show of avoidance was not as effective with the back of his hand still over Wade’s heart.

“Don’t you whatever me. Get loved and appreciated, bitch.” Wade threw caution to the wind and flung his arm over Logan. Logan growled and fidgeted but his shove to push Wade away was frankly halfhearted and pathetic.

They were quiet for a moment. Wade was trying very hard not to start gloating about cuddling The Wolverine, Superhero Of All Time. The fact that he wasn't getting beat up right now was a miracle in his eyes. He could hear Logan’s heartbeat slow down as the minutes went by. They stayed like that for so long Wade was sure Logan had fallen asleep.

“Your heartbeat is stupidly fast.” Logan broke the silence, his voice slightly sluggish.

“Well, you try being stabbed in the middle of the night.” Wade answered automatically and immediately regretted it. But Logan just frowned. “No, I’m serious. It’s like way faster than it should be. And I can hear your breathing but it doesn’t sound normal either.” He explained like he’d been thinking about this for a while now.

“Oh.” Wade thought about it. “Yeah, that’s probably the cancer.”

“The what?”

“Oh yeah, I have cancer! Did I not tell you about that? Not gonna die from it though cause I’m God’s favorite queer. But let’s not get into that, this scene is about your trauma, not mine.”

Logan was quiet again and Wade could practically smell his compassion like a wet fart. It made him uncomfortable. For once, he just wanted to go to sleep.

“We don’t really know each other too well, do we?” Logan mumbled.

“Um. No, I guess not.” Wade said. “I’ve read your comics but you're from another universe so who knows how useful that is. X-Men timelines are all shit anyways. But, maybe,” Wade hesitated. “Maybe we can learn. Toxic masculinity is so over, talking about your feelings is all in now.”

“I don’t wanna talk.”

“I know.”

Wade just breathed, it had been worth a try. The wound was completely gone now. He had a hole in his shirt which wasn’t super graphic ultra modern girl of him but he could sew it tomorrow. He was trying really hard not to think about the huge arm wrapped around him and not entirely succeeding. Logan’s eyes closed next to him.

“But,” Logan hesitated. “I can try.”

Wade beamed. “Perfect! Then we’ll try. We’ve got a long time, you know. It’s our fault for moving in faster than U-Haul lesbians on heroin. We’ll work on it.”

Logan grumbled what sounded like vague agreement. Time passed and Wade’s eyes finally shut. Then he said, so quietly Wade might have been imagining it.

“We’ve got all the time in the world.”