life begins at the end of your comfort zone
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”
-Neale Donald Walsch
September - December, 2012
It took another two weeks after they’d stolen the man from HYDRA, filled with repeating the trigger words and the monologue he’d prepared until Bucky seemed conscious enough for him to fully comprehend the words Peter was saying to him.
Words were still few and far between but Karen had informed him that the man had read all of the books and magazines Peter had left for him.
It was then that Peter introduced the tablet to him so that he could have more information. and now he was requesting to speak with Peter.
Heading towards the basement, he paused at the bottom of the stairs when he noticed Bucky already standing in his lab in a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt.
A good sign, Peter hoped, since the man hadn’t left his room since Peter brought him home.
“Hey, Bucky. Karen said you wanted to talk?” Peter called out as he entered the room.
“James.” Came the gruff reply. “Please.” James tacked on as an afterthought.
Peter grinned a little. “James, then.”
“I- I’d like to-“ He frowned “ask some questions.”
“Shoot.” Peter said unthinkingly, earning a bewildered look. More emotion than he’d seen on the soldiers face so far. “Go ahead.” He amended, smirking slightly.
“Why- why are you helping me?” He asked after a few moments pause.
“How do you know I’m helping?” Peter mused, earning an unimpressed look. “Well, you’ve been held captive by HYDRA for the past seventy years and I had the means to rescue you, so I did.”
“But why?” James repeated almost desperately.
Peter shrugged. “Because you deserve it.”
“I’ve- I’ve killed people, though.” James whispered, brows furrowing.
“Yes. Against your will. And anyway the other guy you’ve seen around here is literally a mercenary.” Peter answered, tacking on the last bit with an eye roll.
James straightened. “I don’t understand.”
“You will.” Peter reassured. “And, hey! You’re looking a lot better. How would you feel about going upstairs? This situation was never meant to be permanent. I have an actual bedroom prepared for you and you can meet everyone.” He said, waving at the basement bedroom.
“Upstairs?” James echoed with a small frown. “What if I hurt someone?”
Peter smirked. “Trust me, we’ll be fine. I still have your trigger words.” He paused at the rather violent flinch. “But I also have a way to remove them when you’re ready. And a team of psychiatrists and therapists on standby for when you’re ready. Oh and a new arm! And you’re starting to look overwhelmed so I’m just going to stop talking as soon as my mind lets me shut the fuck-“ Peter cut off with a gasp, ignoring James’ snort.
“Anyway, upstairs? There are only two people living here besides us and believe me, we can defend ourselves if you try to attack us.”
“Okay.” James answered neutrally.
Peter let himself smile warmly and led the way upstairs, following the sound of voices with James a step behind him.
It was eery, the way Peter could feel him directly behind him but could scarcely hear his footsteps.
As they entered the kitchen, Peter took in the scene that was America throwing different foods across the room while Wade ran around like a headless chicken trying to catch everything.
Peter snorted, sending a sideways glance at James who was staring into the room with a blank expression though Peter thought he saw the man’s lips twitch.
“What in the world are you two doing?” Peter called out amusedly, snickering when they both jumped.
“Eating.” They answered in unison, smirking at each other.
Peter rolled his eyes before gesturing to James. “America, Wade, this is James. James, America and Wade.” He introduced, making his way to the fridge to grab two waters and tossing the other to the soldier who caught it automatically.
“James?” America parroted confusedly. “Not Bucky?”
Before Peter could answer, James did. “Bucky died a long time ago.”
Peter smiled sadly and nodded understandingly.
“James it is!” Wade cut in, smiling brilliantly. “Hello handsome!”
“Wade. Don’t tease him.” Peter snickered.
James was looking more and more uncomfortable as the seconds passed so Peter made a snap decision. “How about I show you your room?”
He nodded and Peter quickly led him upstairs to his the third floor bedroom, opening the door.
”Well. This is your room. It’s- right now you’re the only person living on this floor. I’m also planning on turning that room into a gym.” Peter explained, pointing to the sitting room down the hall.
James nodded but didn’t speak, eyes darting across the hallway and the doors.
“America, Wade, and I are one floor up. You’re free to roam the house at your leisure just-“ Peter cleared his throat awkwardly. “You’re not a prisoner here but if you could not go past the front or back yard until your trigger words are gone, I’d really appreciate it.”
James nodded again sharply, inspecting the room, bathroom, and attached balcony thoroughly before wandering back to Peter and standing silently.
“If you have any questions, just ask Karen.” Peter added. “There are clothes that should fit you in the closet and the bathroom is fully stocked so…” He trailed off awkwardly, nodding at the silence that greeted him. “Alright I’ll just leave you to- yeah. See ya.”
“Дорогой идиот.” He heard the man mutter as he shut the door behind him and couldn’t help but snicker at the name.
The next few days were… strange to say the least. Peter had installed the new arm and they’d started working out a schedule to remove the trigger words.
There had been a few times that Peter got home from his patrol to see James in the kitchen, Karen projecting recipes for him to follow.
The next morning, the food was always in the garbage.
He still didn’t speak much but he’d started seeking out the other three occupants of the house to sit with them.
It was one of those times when America slipped up. “So what are you going to do about the Avengers following you all of the time?” She asked Peter while she painted her nails.
James perked up at the name and looked at Peter in confusion. “Why are they following you?”
“Uhh because he’s Spider-Man, duh? They all want some of that Spidey Booty.” Wade answered (un)helpfully.
Peter swatted the man over the head and sighed heavily. “They are not all following me, just the Widow and Iron Man. And Jesus DP, don’t say shit like that.”
“What?! It’s true!” Wade defended.
“It’s gross.” Peter shook his head, looking back at James who looked unsurprised.
“I’d always planned on telling you everything, I was going to wait until after the words were gone but…” He shrugged looking at America for her opinion.
She nodded in agreement before becoming more solemn.
“Okay.” Peter sucked in a deep breath. This was the first time he’d be telling anyone about what happened and he’d been studiously avoiding even just thinking about it. “This is going to sound insane.” He huffed an unamused laugh. “I’m from the future.” He blurted out before continuing in a ramble. “Well technically it would be classified as an alternate universe but ‘Mer and I also travelled back seventeen years. Wade’s from this universe but yeah. That’s how we knew how to get you away and where you were being held. And uh- the trigger words. Your alternate told me just in case, even though his words had already been removed. Guess it worked out in the long run because, well, you know. But yeah something happened to our universe and we uh, came here to change things. Including saving you.”
James’ eyes had gotten progressively wider as Peter kept speaking but he didn’t seem like he didn’t believe them so that was good.
“Okay.” James said simply, nodding sharply before standing and going upstairs.
“That went well.” Wade chirped, blowing on his hot pink nails.
Peter scoffed, slumping back into the couch and putting his face in his hands.
The day after Halloween was walking a group of girls home from a club when he heard the sound of repulsors. He sighed heavily, earning a confused looks from the girls.
Normally he would dip as soon as he heard the sound but he couldn’t abandon the girls.
Once he’d seen them home safely, he swung up onto the roof and let out another loud sigh.
“I know you’re there, you can come out now.” Peter called out tiredly.
There was a loud thump as the Iron Man armor landed heavily in the gravel.
“Spider-Man.” Tony greeted through his mask. Peter’s chest clenched at the voice and he felt traitorous tears flood his eyes. “You’re a hard man to track down.” He finished.
“Yeah well, it’s by design.” Peter answered, thankful his voice didn’t crack like a prepubescent child.
“Hmm.” Tony hummed.
“What do you want, Dr. Stark?” Peter asked tiredly.
“Tony.” The man corrected, looking Peter up and down. “Nice suit. Never seen anything like it. Webs too. Where’d you get it?”
“I made it.” Peter said shortly. “What do you want?”
“You made it?” Tony asked in surprise, slumping at the narrow eyed look he got through the mask. “The Avengers want to meet you, thank you.”
“Yeah well, I don’t want to meet them. Consider me thanked.” Peter retorted, trying to control his breathing.
A part of him wanted to launch himself towards his mentor and another him in a hug but he at least had enough self control to do that. He couldn’t convince himself to web away when the man he’d missed so desperately for years was standing not three feet in front of him.
“Come on, Spider-Man.” Tony pleaded.
“No. Leave me alone and tell Fury to call off his little spider too. Stop following me.” Peter retorted, fighting to keep some bite in his tone. But it was hard when all he wanted to do was go back to the tower with Tony and meet all of the Avengers. A slice of familiarity and home that he just couldn’t afford.
“Wait Nat’s been looking for you too?” Tony questioned sounding confused.
“That’s what I just said, didn’t I?” He poised himself to swing away. “Don’t follow me.”
“Wait!” Tony called desperately. “Just come over and let them thank you and then we’ll leave you alone. I mean, I don’t control Fury but-“
Peter’s steps faltered traitorously. “You’ll leave me alone.” He repeated numbly. Why did Peter’s chest ache at the thought.
“Scouts honor!” Tony chirped, seeing his opening and taking it.
Peter snorted reflexively. “You’re no boy scout Dr. Stark.”
Tony shrugged but Peter could see his excitement at Peter’s presumed agreement.
“Let’s get this over with then.” Peter huffed, ignoring Tony’s squeak of excitement, and swung in the direction of the Tower.
When they reached one of the landing pad Peter watched with poorly disguised awe as Tony’s Iron Man was dismantled by robotic arms as he walked.
“Pretty cool, huh?” Tony smirked as he swept past.
“Uh huh.” Peter answered, following distractedly.
“Welcome Back, Sir.” Vis- JARVIS greeted. “I see you’ve been successful with your mission.”
“Did you ever doubt me, J?” Tony teased.
“Of course not, Sir.” JARVIS returned, a note of sass in his robotic tone. “Hello Spider-Man. Welcome to Stark Tower.”
Peter forced his head to snap up and look around wildly as though surprised by the voice. “Uh-“
“That’s JARVIS, he’s my AI. Runs the building.” Tony explained, waving a hand around the ceiling as he led the familiar route to the common floor.
“Nice to- nice to meet you JARVIS.” Peter greeted the AI, part of him fanboying over getting to meet Tony’s first AI. He had loved FRIDAY but he knew from Tony’s stories that JARVIS was just different.
“You as well, Spider-Man.” JARVIS answered cordially.
Letting out a huff, he continued following after his mentor.
The elevator door opened and Peter resisted taking a step back as he took in the assembled group.
Natasha, Clint, and Steve were all sitting on the couch together, watching television while Dr. Banner sat at the kitchen counter with a Stark Tablet in hand.
“Lookie who I found!” Tony crowed, catching everyone’s attention.
“Spider-Man!” Several voices overlapped.
“Hello.” Peter resisted the urge to shrink under their gazes and moved to look at the least intimidating person in the group. “Dr. Banner, it is such an honor to meet you. Your research with Gamma Radiation is revolutionary.” He said, falling back on his fanboy core.
“Uh, thank you- uh Spider-Man.” Bruce returned, smiling slightly and fingering his tablet nervously.
“Call me Spidey.” Peter waved the anxious man off and smiling even though he couldn’t see it through the mask.
“Uh hello?! I’m right here.” Tony squawked, offended.
“Yes. I see that.” Peter answered distractedly.
“Ha!” Clint barked. “I like this guy.”
“My dreams have been fulfilled.” Peter said dryly. “I have it under good authority if I get this over with, you’ll leave me alone.” He said, looking at Tony and the spies in particular.
“Yes. Yes.” Tony said absently as he moved to flop onto the couch next to the others. “Come sit.” He said, patting the seat beside him.
Peter slowly made his way towards an armchair, ignoring Tony’s pout at the small slight.
Somehowafter the thank you’s and small talk
Peter found himself pulled into watching a movie with the team, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Peter was careful not to say too much so he mostly stayed quiet under his mask while he listened to their banter.
It was close to four am before Peter made his way back home with a promise to come back the next week.
He was weak when it came to Tony, not that the man knew it. He just couldn’t resist and thus he found himself at the Tower for weekly movie nights and while the group had tried to convince him to unmask a few times, they gave up when they realized it would only alienate him.
He got along best with Tony and Natasha but the others really weren’t too far behind.
He’d even been convinced to join in on a sparring session where he’d wiped the floor with everyone, the only exception being Natasha as they were pretty evenly matched when Peter wasn’t using his full strength. Which he didn’t, letting Nat, as she’d requested he call her, beat him after a good ten minutes.
They seemed to really enjoy his company, which baffled him but he couldn’t find it in himself to stay way.
Wade said he was a pushover when he complained about his inability to say no to Tony Stark but America would only smile softly at him. James didn’t seem to have much of an opinion on the matter, focusing entirely on BARF, his therapy, and his new obsession with cooking and baking. He’d started the BARF sessions
Peter was glad to see that the man seemed to be more like himself in the last few days. He was still struggling, of course, but the therapy sessions seemed to be helping a lot and Peter was almost certain the trigger words would be ineffective by Christmas.
Time was flying with the holiday less than a month away. He and America had officially been in the past for almost six months and he was doing surprisingly well all things considered.
He reluctantly admitted to himself that if he didn’t have Wade or America with him he’d probably be much worse off.
They, and now James, kept his heart from closing like it had all those years ago after the spell. It had an unfortunate side effect of making him susceptible to Tony’s puppy eyes (like he hadn’t always been). But he conceded that he would need a certain in with the Avengers for a majority of his plans to work.
So over the next few months he let himself get pulled into more and more hang outs with the hero group.
Tony had tried to offer him a job after gauging his intelligence, but Peter had declined. Not wanting everyone to know his identity, even the forged one, before he was ready.
He had slipped into their dynamic much smoother than he’d thought was possible. It was nice, experiencing the same camaraderie they’d had with each other in his timeline, which he hadn’t been privy to considering he’d been a teenager.
But here in this time he was an equal and it was more exhilarating than it had any right being.
At the same time, James was making bounds and leaps.
A lot of his memories had come back to him and he’d opened up to them a bit. He’d taken to conversing lightly whenever they entered a room and sharing his baked treats whenever they were made.
Peter had gotten rather used to coming home to home cooked meals and baked goods, so much so that he was starting to feel a little spoiled. But it seemed to calm the recovering soldier to do something productive so Peter certainly wasn’t going to complain.
Another surprising addition to the little family they were creating was a small white kitten that James had found in the front yard and promptly brought inside, claiming her for himself.
Peter had been allergic to cats before the spider bite and hadn’t had much of a chance to be around any since then but he found himself quickly falling in love with the cat James had dubbed Alpine.
She tolerated the other occupants of the house but seemed just as attached to James as he was to her.
He’d even caught Karen playing with the kitten in her hologram, cooing and giggling in a way that shouldn’t have been possible for an AI but Peter had come to terms with the fact that the AI’s tiny created were sentient beings a long time ago.
Witnessing FRIDAY’s grief at the loss of her creator had sealed the deal for him.
At that thought, Peter’s chest ached. He wished he’d had the forethought to bring her with him but he could only hope that she would be activated even without JARVIS’ demise.
Maybe he could even convince Tony to bring her online. He would certainly try. He missed her soft Irish lilt more than he thought he would and couldn’t stand the idea of her not existing in this universe.
He mentally added the task to his priority list, right up there with stopping all world ending events before they could happen.
There were some things he had to leave alone, even without the sorcerers warnings, he knew that.
The Mandarin for example, would have to be Tony’s responsibility.
As much as he hated to leave him to deal with it alone, he couldn’t risk Tony not meeting Harley Keener.
Harley was someone Peter had come to know pretty well after re-meeting everyone, someone he considered family, an older brother.
And though theirpersonal relationship likely wouldn’t be the same, he hoped his little self would have the chance.
That was another thing he wouldn’t be changing, while he planned to intervene before Ben’s death, he couldn’t take Spider-Man away from his younger self.
It had become an integral part of him and he couldn’t imagine any version of himself that wasn’t Spider-Man.
Hopefully Tony would still make moves to mentor his younger self even without the whole Civil War debacle. Something that he would definitely prevent, especially with James recovering safely in his home.
Now that the man was improving they’d also started talking about Peter’s past and their potential futures.
The living room had become their go to plotting spot, everyone chipping in with ideas.
A few days before the holidays, they’d started plotting how to take care of HYDRA and decided that their best chance was to get in contact with Nick Fury. And while that would be quite easy for Peter, it would also mean dealing with the man that had been practically stalking him for six months.
Which just so happened to something he did not want to do at all, he’d been avoiding the man for a reason. But it was for the greater good.God, he hated that phrase.
They ended up deciding that the next time Peter went to Tower he arrange a meeting through Natasha. She would be curious but he knew she wouldn’t ask too many questions.
Karen was compiling a small flash drive with just enough information to get the pirate started. He knew he couldn’t the guy everything without becoming suspicious.
James had also decided to attend the meeting, to make their tale a bit more realistic. They’d created a plausible story for how they’d come in contact as well as how Peter had gotten the information he did.
He wouldn’t introduce Karen until absolutely necessary but he was a decent hacker so it was still possible that he managed to get into the database without being detected. Especially with the guidance of the Winter Soldier.
Peter spend the week mentally preparing himself for that particular introduction. He needed his story to be seamless, to appear helpful but not an overt threat. It was a delicate balance but hopefully Fury would be too invested in the infestation to think much more about Peter.
Especially since he was also planning to sign up as a consultant to the Avengers, as Tony had practically been begging him for the past few weeks.
As he got closer and closer with the team, signing on felt more reward and only a little risk.
Peter sighed and shook his head. How did he manage to get to this point?