You know what’s worse than getting each of your limbs ripped off one by one before those very limbs are fed to your pet dog?
Period cramps.
…Obviously that was just Wade’s opinion, one that would probably make him sound like a complete lunatic to anyone else.
“Even you, dear reader. Unless you really, really hate getting your period. Like I do.”
Wade softly groaned at the dull yet persistent ache in his abdomen. He hated how the pain got worse as it traveled downward, to a sharp growing-pain-like disturbance in his calves. It used to be slightly less agonizing when pain medication worked for him. Before his mutation. Now he was left to metaphorically rot in his bed, where he felt gross and uncomfortable every waking hour of the day for as long as his own personal hell lasted.
He knew a heating pad would’ve helped the cramps. Hell, even with him being too exhausted to get up and go grab the heating pad, pulling up the covers over his abdomen would’ve worked in the meantime.
But the constant burning feeling he felt beneath his skin…
As horrible as they were, he’d take the cramps and pain over worsening his hot flashes any day. That was why he was laying in bed almost nude, except for his special pair of boxers and the pad in them that thankfully kept his sheets clean.
“Hey.” Logan’s voice was heard at the room’s entrance. He was leaning against the doorframe to check on his partner, his brows knitted in concern. “How are you feeling? Do you need anything, bub?”
“Aww..” Wade cooed, rolling onto his back to look at his boyfriend. “You care about me, honey badger.”
“Don’t push your luck.” Logan bit the inside of his cheek. As much as he tried to hide his concern, the worried look in his eyes on his otherwise grumpy face gave it away. “..Do you want some water? A heating pad? Food?”
He paused, his gaze nervously dropping for a moment. He whispered, “... tampons?”
Wade couldn’t help but snort at that. He cracked up in laughter which just made his abdomen pain worse but, fuck, the caution Logan had with that question was pure comedy gold to him. “Oh, so, is tampon a swear word now? Logan, grab the swear jar, I said tampon out loud–oops, I did it again. How much is that I owe to the swear jar…? Fifty cents–?”
“Quit joking around, asshole.” Logan gave an annoyed growl, but he was at least somewhat relieved that Wade was still cracking jokes despite the obvious pain he’d been in all day. “I just wasn’t sure if that word made you uncomfortable. Prick.”
“If you’re that concerned, babes, I’m not afraid of associating with things that are traditionally seen as feminine. The pink thong I wear under my suit should’ve told you that.” Wade sat up now, leaning against the bed’s headboard.
Logan paused.
“The what?”
“Oops. There goes that surprise.” Wade sighed dramatically and crossed his arms. His big and cheery smile quickly turned into a more genuine one. “But I’m glad you were careful since you weren’t sure. That…means a lot to me.”
“You annoying sap.” Logan sat down on the edge of the bed. “How are you feeling, though?”
“Like someone turned a blender inside-out and shoved it into my pussy before turning it on, while my limbs are being slowly turned to pulp by a hydraulic press. Sprinkle on a bit of back pain that belongs to a grandma.” Wade answered. “..Oh, all while I’m trapped in an oven.”
Logan stared in silence.
“So it hurts?”
“Pretty much, yeah. Maybe a little.”
More than a little.
“No wonder you haven’t asked for the heating pad.” Logan stood up and walked over to the rotating fan on the floor, flicking it on for his boyfriend. He adjusted it so it was pointing toward their bed.
Wade basked in the rush of cool air from the fan. “That feels fucking amazing. Is it too late to ask you to get me something to eat? I’m craving something with carbs.”
He gasped. “Pasta.”
“From that restaurant near Blind Al’s house that you won’t shut up about?” Logan pulled his phone out from his pocket and had already started searching it up on the food delivery app.
“Ohmygosh, yes. I need to take you there for our anniversary. Their shrimp carbonara is to die for, peanut.” Wade licked his lips at the thought, laying down on his side again. Not once did his loving gaze leave his partner.
“..Shrimp carbonara. Got it.” Logan tapped on the phone screen. He growled softly in annoyance and it took him a few tries to figure out how to select what his boyfriend wanted. Fucking technology. “What else?”
Wade hummed, “Something fizzy to drink. I haven’t had a soda in a while. No caffeine, please.”
Logan’s brow quirked and he glanced up toward Wade. “Why?”
“Makes the cramps worse, sugar-tits.”
“Don’t call me that.” Logan rolled his eyes, and picked a caffeine-free soda from the options before confirming the order. At least that part went without a hitch, so he wouldn’t accidentally charge his card twice or whatever else could happen…
He tucked the phone into his pocket. He was about to leave the room, when he looked over at his boyfriend again and saw Wade’s outstretched arms.
“Just cuddle with me while we wait.” Wade nearly begged with those pretty eyes of his.
“Fucking hell.” Logan sighed. Despite his fake annoyance, he climbed into bed with his partner and wrapped his arms around him.
Wade settled into his shorter boyfriend’s arms. It was much easier for him to focus on Logan’s soft breathing, or how his skin smelled or felt rather than the pain he was in. “I’m ‘bout as happy as a clam right now, Logan. You’re like the miracle cure to everything. My pain’s better when you're holding me.”
“Really?” Logan tilted his head.
“No. But at least I’m happy.”