Salvation

I had spent the last week holed up in my room doing nothing and staring at the ceiling. I honestly contemplated not turning up to school on Monday, not like anyone would notice, but… the only other choice was staying here. I left early for school on Monday.

I turned up to school wearing a hoodie, baggy jeans and as close as I came to old sneakers. I think I probably showered before turning up but I definitely didn’t brush my hair. I probably should have put on a bit of make up ateleast to cover the bags under my eyes but… I just couldn’t be bothered. I’m too tired.

I walk through school in a daze as I grab my things from my locker and go to my classes.

I jump slightly when I felt a hand thump heavily down onto my shoulder. “ Yoooo! Flash! What up man! How you been? Hey have you heard that Ethan and terrence didn’t get dusted man, sucks to be them. Anyway where you been, me and the boys wanted to hit up shops a while back but you aren’t answering your texts” he says in an accusatory voice. How terrible it must have been to not have me there to pay for his stuff, huh. “ around. Been busy” I say. “ right, well, bummer. Hey me and the guys are going to check out the bars around town. They’ll have forgotten our faces by now yeah? Not to mention our I D’s say we’re legal and shit now!” He exclaims excitedly. I take a breath and remind myself that this is a school for bright individuals. “ oh yeah I’m sorry man I’ve got… stuff to do afterschool. In fact for the whole week I’m gonna be busy. Who knew coming back from the dead was so much work huh? “ I chuckle. He frowns at me “ well whatever, hit me up soon though, there’s this new karaoke place I wanna check out on the upper east side! “ he says before walking away.

I sigh and continue down the hallway to my next class.

Halfway through English lit the teacher pauses the lesson. Not that I’d really been paying attention, I was zoning out.

“ well students, I know it’s been a stressful time for you lot and there has been a lot of change but I’m hoping you’ll take this as a welcome change!” They dramatically point towards the door and its awkard for a few seconds before two boys walk in. “ these are some new additions to your classes and I hope you’ll take the time to help them settle in! Why don’t you boys introduce yourselves?”. The boys exchange a look. One of them is a bit more buff than the other with curly light brown hair. He’s wearing a red plaid shirt, ripped jeans and scuffed sneakers, like he just came back from chopping wood or something. The other is like the yin to their yang in comparison, they’re wearing clothes that scream business casual, with a black blazer over a white T-shirt, with black pressed slacks. Their hair is dark and styled. They’re both very tall. And my type. I press my face into the wood of my desk before looking up again. “ hey, I’m Harley keener… I like mechanics, I guess?” He says from the front of the class. He looks straight ahead without a hint of awkwardness, he seems to recognise someone in the rows behind me because his eyes carve up slightly.

“ and hey, I’m Harry, hope we get along guys” he lets out a grin and gives off a carefree attitude, I can practically hear the rest of my classmates swooning. The teacher clears their throat” well uh yes, now please boys, choose a seat and sit down” . They take their places in class and the lesson resumes with the additional background noise of gossip and chatter, I don’t listen to this as I sink back into a daze.

It’s as I’m heading to the cafeteria that’s things start to change. Alex is there, one of my “friends”, he talked to me this morning. He seems to be trying to start an argument with Parker. Trying being the key word considering that… what was name keeler or something is stood in front of him like an overpayed guard with his hackles, and shoulders up, looking three words away from taking a swing and a hit, despite Parker’s low key frantic dismissals.

I let out a sigh as I step towards the confrontation. “ what are you doing” I ask in a flat voice. “ oh good flash you’re here, you’ll never believe who penis Parker sucked sucked off for prot-“ . “ Alex “ I interrupt him. Alex looks at me in shock for being interrupted whilst Parker stares at me in trepidation and keeser in suspicion. “ can we just not? Like lay off man, the world practically ended, half of us died, don’t you think there’s anything else you could be doing right now? Like literally anything” I stare in boredom, or maybe exasperation, I’m too tired too tell. “ what the fuck man? What happened to you? Why the hell are you defending penis fucking parker?” He exclaims in bewilderment and indignation, his face appearing to be inflamed with rage. “ I fucking died is what happened. And I’m not defending him I’m just saying move on man, get a hobby or something” like knitting, except I don’t say that out loud.

“ fucking pussy” he spits at me “ your dead to me flash, you’ve changed man. Or I guess you just got lamer which I didn’t think was fucking possible” he knocks his shoulder into me and sneers as he stomps past, no doubt to backlist me to everybody else I hang out with.

I sigh as I turn to look at Peter and keerer, one stares at me with wide eyes and a tense body like he’s waiting for something more to come and the other who is staring at me with… still suspicion, yep.

I turn around and move to eat lunch in the courtyard.

The next lessons are buzzing with more students gossipping, I guess with the increase in students there’s an increase in chatter. Gosh, was it always this loud though?. I keep my head down and take notes even as I remain in a dazed head state which causes me to not notice the poking at my arm or the whispered questions of ‘ did you really do that?’ ‘ is it true that-“ .

I go home. I go to my room. I stare at the ceiling. I study. I go to sleep. I wake up and go to school.

The week continues to pass with me dazedly going through school, taking notes and eating in the courtyard, or well I mostly just go around the corner where others can’t see me and take a nap, but whatever.

The most notable thing to happen to me was when Parker interrupted me as I was going through my locker. Parker placed a hand on my shoulder which caused me to look at him with hazy eyes. I wasn’t sleeping well lately. His brows were wrinkled and I noticed that his entrouge which now included keemer was down the hallway and talking to each other. “ are you okay man?” . “ why wouldn’t I be ok penis?” I ask him hollowly. He frowns at me “ you’re not looking too well, i mean most people aren’t doing too well but… are you um, you just seem… out of it is all, and you aren’t really talking or joking around with any of your usual group”. The worst part about about it all is he sounds concerned. Genuine.

If I could feel anything I’d probably feel sad that the guy I used to spend my time bullying is the first persons to ask me how I’m doing, if I’m ok. Even if it is a shallow observation it’s still an observation. Though I don’t know what I expected with my friends having ditched me with a few words from Alex and my family… well the less said the better.

“ I’m fine… Parker, it’s whatever. You should probably leave before the scooby squad comes to investgate your missing whereabouts “ he lets out a snort that causes us to stare at each other for a minute before I shut my locker and slowly back away while maintaining eye contact before I turn the corner. What a weirdo.

My day continues on like normal but that appears to be the limit of the universes mercy as the following days after that are not normal.

It starts off with glances, if we happen to be near each other Parker will start glancing over before he returns to whatever he’s doing like flirting with mj or flirting with keever or flirting with mj and keeger or being flirted by mj and keejer or talking nerd to Ned or just generally school work I guess.

It doesn’t really disrupt me as my mind gets hazy if I don’t focus too much. I feel a bit thankful that note taking is more of a muscle memory at this point.

It gets weirder after that because he starts talking to me. He says hi in the hallways and good morning at the lockers and eventually he starts meeting my eyes in the classroom and … the atrocity. Slightly, just slightly. Smiling.

It is horrifying. And where Peter goes the nerd squad follows, which now includes BOTH of the transfers, but there’s also the chance it always did and I just didn’t notice. Should I be concerned about my lack of awareness? I used to be good at pinpointing things about Peter. Mainly to make fun of him. But lots of things have slipped under my radar lately. I can’t be bothered too care.

It’s mainly suspicious flares in the beginning, mostly from mj and keeyer with Ned being confused. Eventually after two weeks the glares turn into indifference with a hint of annoyance (mj) and annoyance with a bit of irritation (keeber). Ned just smiles. The whole thing was too baffling too process so I didn’t and tried to pretend that nothing existed.