The Punisher: Vendetta

My eyes snap open, and I lurch forward like a vampire rising out of her coffin. The room swam, and I cradled my head in my hands. I remember having a meltdown but finally getting to tell Dean everything, and I must have crashed.

After a few deep breaths, I felt steady and realized I was back home. How did I get here? I swing out of bed, and I smell food. I head into the kitchen and see Erykah and Noah in the kitchen. I hang back, watching the two of them cook. He's always finding ways to touch and interact with her, the small of her back, or standing behind her to stir something...

I announced my presence, ignoring the dull ache in my chest.

"You're awake!" Erykah chirped.

"You're hurt," I observed.

"You should see the other guys," she sniffed.

"Glad to see your ninja training come in handy," I comment dryly. "I'm glad you made it out okay."

"But you didn't," she observes sadly.

"No," I sighed. "I did not. How did I get here?"

"Frank brought you back," she sniffed.

"You're pissed," I state.

"Wellllllll, I almost forgive him because whatever happened at the brownstone, Dean has decided to back off after the job is done," she says deliberately.

"He did?" I frowned.

"You were asleep, Lace, but they had a conversation," she continued.

"We still don't trust him, but at least that's resolved," Noah inputs.

"...Where is he?" I asked.

"With Madani," he replied. "The Triad is working with Cerebus now. Rawlins and Schoonover are back, and Micro has already set up surveillance. They're trying to get ahead on intel."

"Okay," was all I supplied when a steaming plate of food was set before me.

Breakdowns make me hungry. I devoured two helpings, and I felt better—physically, anyway. Mentally, it was going to take some time. I needed to work everything out with Dean, but I haven't spoken to Frank since this morning.

"While you slept, I finished our articles," Erykah comments.

"Great," I sighed. "I don't want to go back to the hospital. There's something off about Krista and Billy."

"Um, yeah, Frank wasn't too thrilled about-"

"-Oh, he wasn't thrilled, was he?" I snapped. "His mixed signals are giving me whiplash!"

Erykah clamped her mouth shut, but she gave me a look that told me she understood where I was coming from. Sooner or later, we were going to have to talk. One way or another, this has to be resolved, or I have to try to move on.

"The two of you need to talk," Noah sighs. "I've heard both sides of the situation and understand both sides. The one thing that stood in your way is gone now."

"Damn right, we do," I griped.

There was a knock on the door, and Noah went to answer it.

"You're cranky," Erykah observes.

"I've had enough," I amend.

She looked above my head at Noah and whoever else had entered the apartment, then jumped up to grab her jacket.

"Wait, where are you-"

"-Wegottagodoathingandyoutwogottatalkokaybye!" Erykah blurts out, practically pushing Noah out, barely giving him time to grab his jacket.

I get out of my seat and see why she ran like a bat out of hell. Frank is here. His expression is unreadable, and his body language is hesitant. Of course, it is. I down the rest of the whiskey I've been nursing...and I threw the godamn glass at the wall, close to his head.

Aside from a slight tightness in his eyes, he didn't flinch. I move around my table and stick my finger to his chest.

"I'm not going to repeat myself after tonight," I begin, letting the pain, longing, and rage fuel me. "Who the fuck are we kidding? Huh? What the fuck are we waiting for?! We're fighting to avenge our pasts, but we can't let it define our lives anymore!"

"Red, it's not that simple-"

No. I'm fucking done. I swipe an ugly vase off a nearby shelf and smash that shit, too. It felt terrific. It was the same rage I felt the day I took down that perv at the gym, which was heady. Colors seemed brighter; images were sharper.

I see it. I see the wheels turn in his head, and I know he wants this, too. The same man willing to take down a corrupt D.A. and put New York on notice never took any personal risks, and even though it messes with me, it also drew me to him.

"Allow me to make this pretty godamn simple," I interrupt. "You want me or not? No more hesitation. No more bullshit. I know how I feel about you, and you know how you feel about me. Hell, our enemies know!"

By now, we've ended up face-to-face. I had to look up, but I'm not breaking eye contact. I'm not backing down. This ends one way or another. He pulls me close as he's always done, but this is different. He's holding me so tight I can hear our collective heartbeat—his is thumping wildly.

"You're right, Red," he murmurs into my hair. "I've known what I've wanted for a while now. But I'm not ready for the risk of losing what I've found with you. All the things that I'd done. Memories never hurt me. The past is more than memories. It's the devil you sold your soul to. I don't want to bring you down with me."

At that, I softened. Finally, I got the answer I wanted.

"I understand that, but you've also got to give me the chance to prove you wrong. You might not see it, but you're worth it. I've been with you, and I can care for myself. And you won't let anything happen to me," I assure him.

I cradle his face in my hands as I tell him this. His hands are lower than my waist, and he sighs.

"You're right," he concedes.

"I know I am," I shot back.

"Damn, Red, you're full of fire tonight," he chuckled.

"You like it," I state boldly.

"Godamn right I do -"

I cut him off by kissing him. I don't want to talk. I don't want to think. This is the second time we've made out in my kitchen. The first time didn't work out the way it should have. I hope this isn't an omen of some sort.

Clothes are being torn off at this point, and Frank lifts me by my hips to take us into my bedroom. I'm relieved that I selected one of my nicer bra and panty combos this morning. He lays me down in the center of my bed, and I thought I'd feel nervous, but I'm not.

If anything, I'm too busy admiring him. The last time I had, he'd been working out, and it shows. I knew taking this step was a big deal for both of us. He pauses, and I give him a short nod, and he returns before leaning down to kiss me again.

I couldn't tell you if it was the effects of the alcohol, but the trail his fingertips and lips left on my skin felt like a brand, heating my blood. I'm glad I hadn't been with anyone else since Dean because I was meant to share this with Frank.

We had been tentative at first, peeling off the final layer of clothing, exploring every inch of skin...without interruptions. But there was a sense of urgency once he'd entered me. I saw his dominant side, and I realized I liked it that way. I didn't have to be in control. He pins my wrists above my head, and I find myself at his mercy.

It's been a long day...all I'd been able to think about was the choice I had given her this morning and whether she had chosen to work things out with him or not. I've always believed that people needed a choice, and hers was made for her. When I'd asked her to talk to him, I realized I'd done the same thing.

After Dean told me what had happened, I elected to take her home. I wondered if I'd done more harm than good. I'll never forget how hurt she was when I pulled away from her. When I closed the door this morning, I heard her break down, but I was convinced that it was for the best.

I'd spoken to Curtis after he hosted his support group, telling myself that I was observing their behavior to see if I could glean anything about Valhalla...but that was bullshit. I needed to clear my head. Curtis is good for calling me out on my shit.

He was right that what I'd found with Red could be good for the both of us, but we needed to lay it out on the table. Erykah caught the hint, and she grabbed Noah to give us the apartment. I knew she was pissed at me, and she had every right to be.

I half expected her to shoot flames out of her eyes. They burned with the anger I deserved and the love I didn't think I deserved. She laid down the law, and I should have known better than to think she'd put up with my shit for much longer.

When she began to break things and lash out, I thought that was it. That the damage had been done...that I'd fucked up, and she was done. I thought she would tell me that she would talk to Dean again, after all. Until she made it crystal clear: this was my final chance.

My decision had been made long ago, but I kept coming up with reasons to doubt it. Some made sense to me, but a few were weak excuses, and she saw through them. She saw through me.

We head to her bedroom, and I intend to make good on my earlier promise. It's been a damn long time for the both of us, and we were finally alone. Other than a slight pause to marvel at a scar or to peel off a layer of clothing, we didn't stop. I'd be lying if I said I had things under control. Usually, I take my time, but we've been waiting so long that there was no room for rational thought. I pin her down and stroke the flame she's ignited in me.

"That was worth the wait," she murmured.

"Yeah?" I chuckled.

"Yeah," she echoes. "I should yell at you more often."

I let out another short laugh and pulled myself off her bed.

"You thirsty?" I ask her.

"In a manner of speaking," she grins. "Go. I'm gonna run a bath."

I whistle, enjoying the view as she saunters past me to her bathroom. She's gonna be the death of me.

When he returns from the kitchen, I've already run the water. I take a deep pull of the coconut water Erykah, and I are obsessed with. His knowledge of that tiny detail made me happier than I thought it would. It's another layer to him because I've come to learn that he's dominant in the bedroom...and I love every damn minute of it.

He carries me into our master bath and manages to get both of us into the garden tub. The water is the perfect temperature, with scented Epsom salt and light bubbles. I lean back into the crook of his shoulder as he grabs a loofah. He gently washes me, telling me that it was nice not to have been interrupted and that he loves me.

I reply that I love him, too. He squeezed some body wash onto the loofah and applied pressure when washing me this time.
My skin was still sensitive, and even though I'd been satisfied earlier, I began to respond again.

He told me to link my arms behind his neck, which left me exposed to him in the tub. He spread the lather from the loofah all over my body, but then he used his hands to wash it off, teasing me. He ran a circuit from my breasts, down my midsection, to my thighs, inching nearer to where I wanted him, without touching me there. I felt him harden again in reaction to me grinding against him.

I lean back to kiss him, and he guides my hips to the pace he wants. Our breathing picks up, and he likes what I'm doing to him as he's still teasing me. Unlike what happened earlier, we were taking our time with one another. He slid one of his hands down my front, and he was able to slide two fingers inside of me effortlessly. He broke the kiss long enough to whisper,

"Someone's ready to go again," he chuckles in my ear.

I felt his teeth skim over the most sensitive part of my neck, and I shivered despite the warm water. "You've been a good girl, haven't you?"

He sets a slow, torturous pace with his fingers. He's barely applying the pressure I want because I'm supposed to answer him. It still felt amazing, and I had to focus. I still felt the effects of our earlier session, and I'd already clenched around him. He repeats his question, curling his fingers and hitting my spot, causing me to cry out.

"I'll ask you again," he says, stopping completely. "Have you been a good girl?"

"Y-yes, sir," I managed.

"That's what I expect to hear," he affirms.

Without warning, he bit the spot on my neck, and he fingers me with the speed I liked. He held one of my legs up to get me where he wanted me. He was in control. I loved it. It wasn't long before I was close again. As soon as he'd noticed, he sped up even more until he permitted me to let go. Before I could catch my breath, he spun me around, and he was guiding my hips as I rode him.

I kiss him, gripping the tub's sides for support. He wasn't as animalistic, but he still set a strong pace, and all I could do was hold on. I wasn't as experienced in this position and insecure about disappointing him. But he wasn't, and I was feeling sexy. Confident. Loved. The water was getting cold, which took me out of it.

He noticed immediately. He always noticed my discomfort in and out of the bedroom, and he'd fix it.
We had to separate to get out of the tub safely. We dried each other off before he led me to our bedroom.

He laid me down on the bed, and I wasn't sure what I was in for. He kneels at the end of the bed, grabs me by the thighs, and pulls me to the edge. I wasn't prepared when he went down on me for the second time tonight. I was halfway off the bed and only had the sheets for support. Absently, I wondered if I should cut my nails. I've been drawing blood, digging them into his back. Arms. Legs. Anything I could reach.

He didn't let me up until I was close before he rolled me around to mount him again. I had told him that I liked it when he manhandled me, so he does it as often as possible. We groan in mutual satisfaction as he guides my hips to a rhythm that suits both of us. My nails dug into his back, as he's dug into my hips.

"I love you," I tell him.

"I love you, too," he replied.

Our lips meet again, and knowing him, we don't stay in this position for long. Soon I was on my hands and knees, and he enters me from behind. For some reason, this position was intense for me.

He put my arms behind my back to hold me in place while he fucked me senseless. I was a mess, and I loved it. He kept going until I came for the third time since we'd started.

He followed me soon after, and finally, we collapsed on the bed, exhausted but satisfied. I realized something, and I started laughing.

"What is it?" He asks me.

"We have to clean up again," I giggled.

"So what you're telling me is that we get to crash a fancy masquerade party as a part of a covert op to obtain the intel we need to turn the tide in the war against the secret organization that ruined our lives?" I paraphrase.

"Yes," Madani chuckles. "We've gotten word that after they were exposed in the press, ANVIL was gone public and has voted Billy Russo off the board. Cerebus has lost access to their client list, a weapons cache, and the whole nine. The new and improved ANVIL is throwing the gala in their new facility as a show of good faith."

"We've heard that Valhalla plans to crash the party and steal the data," Micro adds.

"I already have a dress in mind," I sigh happily.

"Are you sure you're up for it?" Noah asks me.

"I'm fine," I assure him. "I'm ready."

"Where's Frank?" Madani wonders. "I should call-"

"-NO!" I cut her off loudly, slapping her phone out of her hands.

"Why?" She asks with wide eyes.

"No one calls Frank or Lacey tonight," I insisted. "With Cerebus back in full force, this might be the only uninterrupted time they get right now, and they need it...and if anyone tries-"

I pull out my new butterfly knife.

"-I'll deal with it myself," I vowed.

"I've created a monster," Noah jokes.

"Nah, I've always been a badass," I amend. "I just know how to defend myself now."

"Oh, I saw the reports on the subway attack," Micro quips. "The fact that you can shatter bones and wear Pokemon onesies is terrifying!"

"Good," I smirked. "Alright, so I'll handle the wardrobe-"

"-You're going to get Frank Castle to wear a tux?" Noah cuts in.

"No," I explained. "But he'll be motivated once she sees what Lacey will be wearing. So as I was saying, I'll have wardrobe covered-"

"Tech and surveillance," Micro puts in.

"Homeland will have your back," Madani informs him. "Lemme know what you need."

"The rest of us will crash the party," Noah confirms.

My alarm sounds off, and I excuse myself. Noah insisted on going to the hospital, although everyone else patched themselves up without help. Fine. I head into Madani's kitchen for a glass of water to take the painkiller I've been prescribed.

I also open up my medical bag, containing a series of small vials, and I inject myself with one of them. I'll never be anyone's victim ever again. I'm done feeling helpless. Weak. A burden. With this, I won't just write about heroes.

I'll become one of them.