The Avengers were all lounging in the common room when Tony’s intern came bouncing in. No one even knew why he was allowed up there, but they didn’t care. Peter made a beeline for Tony and started babbling about some wonderful idea he had. Tony was the only one paying attention, which is why everyone was confused when Tony said “Let’s do it! Everyone, circle time!” At everyone’s blank faces, he said, “Peter thinks that we should tell secrets about ourselves to build trust. First round is dark secrets, the second round is funny and innocent, and the third round is anything goes. I’ll go first. I only mourned my mother when she and Howard died. Howard was a shitty parent because he abused and neglected me. Wanda, your turn!”
“Well, um. . . I enjoy reading things with Stockholm Syndrome? I don’t know, you guys already know all of my dark secrets. Steve?”
“Hey Bucky, is it okay if I tell them about the thing with Peggy and You-Know-Who?”
Bucky shrugged. “Sure, I don’t see why not.”
“Okay, so, Bucky and I used to have. . . arrangements with Peggy and Howard. He wasn’t married at the time. Bucky?”
“Okay, Tony, sit down for this one. ImayormaynothavekilledyourparentsastheWinterSoldier. Um, Sam, help me out here!” Bucky blurted out, clinging onto Sam’s arm for comfort.
“Shit, um, I-I-I-I indirectly caused the accident that killed Riley! Clint, your turn!”
“I think I’m slowly falling out of love with my wife and all my kids are adopted but they don’t know it! Natasha!”
“Sometimes I want to go back to being a brainwashed assassin because that was easier. Vision?” Bucky nodded in understanding before Vision spoke.
“A bit of Ultron’s code got inside me, but do not worry, I have been actively quarantining and deleting it. It is 85% smaller than before. Bruce?”
“I used to try and dehumanize Hulk by calling him demeaning things like ‘it’ and ‘monster’. Thor?”
“I once tried to kill a giant because he thwarted my attempt to kill my nephew. Peter?” Peter sighed heavily before starting.
“I could have stopped my Uncle’s death. I was right there! My senses warned me and I didn’t listen. I could have- I could have pushed him out of the way, or blocked the bullet or something like that, but instead I just stood there like an idiot.” Tony wrapped his arms around Peter.
Well, that was a hell of a ride. Why don’t we get some snacks before the next one?” Everyone agreed.
After lots of snacks and comforting each other, they reconvened in the common room for the second round. “Same order as last time, but remember, light, innocent, non-dark secrets this time! I see Peter as a son, if that’s fine with him.” Peter promptly latched himself onto Tony and nodded vigorously, not trusting his voice with the task of hiding the fact that he was tearing up.
“I have discovered the joy that is fandoms and fanfiction, and I occasionally write fluffy one-shots.” Wanda announced. Steve spoke next.
“I was never really into Peggy because I am very, very gay.” Bucky was up next.
“You know how I’m always complaining about the bananas? Well, they might be tasteless, but I actually kind of like them.”
“Every time I make an important call after an alien invasion, I’m calling my sister and her kids because they’re my world.” Sam said.
“There’s this girl, and she has a lot of talent. I’ve been training her to be the next Hawkeye because I want to retire and spend more time with my kids.”
“I got this vest from my sister and I wear it whenever I miss her.” Natasha said, voice just a little watery.
“Sometimes I wonder what J.A.R.V.I.S. was like. I sometimes believe he would be like a big brother to me, like how I see F.R.I.D.A.Y. and Karen as sisters.” Vision said. Bruce was next.
“I’ve found out that I’m asexual.”
“I never stopped loving my brother, even when he was destroying New York.” Peter squirmed a bit before steeling himself, hoping that he had read the group correctly to be able to follow up Thor’s confession with his next secret. They seemed to react alright to Bruce and Steve. . .
“I’m bi and trans, and I have a crush on my childhood best friend.” Tony rubbed his hands together.
“You have a crush on Ted? This is perfect blackmail material! Unless he doesn’t know if you’re bi, of course.”
“One, he knows I’m bi. Two, his name is Ned. Three, I’m not into him. It’s someone I haven’t seen in years because his shitty father shipped him off to some boarding school in Europe and then I got his father arrested.”
“What is it with you and getting your crushes dads arrested?” Peter snorted.
“It’s not my fault that they were both breaking the law! Toomes was dealing out illegal weapons and Norman was doing illegal experiments on non-consenting humans!” His eyes widened when he realized he said too much.
“Norman? Norman Osborn?” Peter nodded reluctantly.
“Oh my God, kid, what the hell is your life?” Tony asked breathlessly before fainting.
After Tony had been awakened and teased a little (read: a lot), the third round was started. “Okay, so the thing I did with Peter? The one where I informally semi-adopted him? This isn’t my first go. The other is in Tennessee, Harley Keener, and he’s coming over in two weeks.” Wanda was next.
“I see Clint and Natasha as parental figures.”
“I used to be a twink with anger issues, but now I’m just tired.” Steve semi-joked.
“Ha! So you finally admit it!” Bucky cheered. “Anyway, I have a secret, but it involves Sam, so I need to talk with him about it first.” He dragged Sam out of earshot. They came back in a few minutes later with slightly swollen lips. “Sam and I are dating.” He announced, dropping back onto the couch and pulling Sam onto his lap.
“I’ve never had the patience to watch a whole series on my own.” Sam admitted.
“I’m deaf.” Clint said.
“Whenever I leave on a Thursday, I’m visiting my family.” Natasha confessed.
“I can’t really think of any other secrets.” Vision’s face was one of innocence, but Karen called him out.
“Oh? And what about all the pranks you’ve pulled?”
“Ah yes, thank you little sister.” Vision ground out. “Everyone thinks I’m incapable of holding a grudge, but all I have to do is wait a couple months and the prank gets blamed on someone else. You’d better start going offline with one program running.” He threatened. Bruce thought for a while about his secret.
“I cut off contact with my abusive father, and when I became a famous scientist, he tried to contact me again.”
“The only reason I keep my hair long is because Odin likes it. I actually prefer it short.”
“I’m Spider-Man.” Tony sighed.
“And here I was enjoying not getting heart attacks at three in the morning. Now you’ll find him eating cereal on the kitchen ceiling at midnight.” As it turned out, the others wouldn’t appreciate Peter’s night habits either.