Chapter 4
Tony sat at the head of the conference room table, the holographic agenda hovering in front of him while his mind drifted. He’d spent the last twenty-four hours bouncing from a DOOM bot fight, to repairing the Iron Man suit, to improving some of the team’s gear—anything to ensure they were better prepared for the next Avengers call out. Now, he found himself in this meeting he didn’t need to be in, eyes red-rimmed and barely able to focus. His body screamed for rest, but his mind (and his schedule) wouldn’t allow it.
Steve had been on his way to pull Tony out of the lab, planning to drag him off for much-needed sleep, but JARVIS informed him of Tony's unexpected attendance at this meeting.
"This meeting... is it important?" Steve asked.
"Not in the least, Captain Rogers," JARVIS replied smoothly. "Might I suggest a timely rescue?"
Steve smirked, already heading toward the conference room.
When Steve entered the room, all eyes turned to him, including Tony’s. Steve’s heart sank at the sight—Tony looked exhausted, his eyes dull, his posture slouched. The man clearly hadn’t slept since before their call out yesterday.
“Folks,” Steve cleared his throat, putting on his best ‘Captain America’ face. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but Tony is needed urgently for Avengers matters.”
Tony frowned in confusion. “I am?”
Steve nodded, his tone firm but not harsh. “Yes, we’ve been called in to SHIELD.”
The executives exchanged glances, unsure of how to argue with Captain America himself. Tony, still confused but too tired to question it, shrugged and stood up.
“Right. Avengers matters. Sure.” He followed Steve out the door, his steps a bit unsteady. As the door closed behind them, Tony looked sideways at Steve.
“So… what urgent matter requires the pleasure of my company?” Tony asked, the sarcasm evident but lacking its usual punch.
Steve pressed the elevator button and glanced over, his expression softening. “Urgent matter? You need sleep, Tony. That’s the only thing you should be worrying about right now.”
Tony blinked, clearly taken aback. “You dragged me out of a meeting to tell me to go to bed?”
“You shouldn’t have been in there in the first place. JARVIS told me that meeting didn’t require your input.”
“Damn AI, always looking out for me,” Tony muttered, running a hand through his already messy hair. But Steve noticed the tension in his shoulders ease slightly.
The elevator arrived, and they stepped inside. Tony slumped against the wall, head tilted back, his eyes already half-closed. Steve shifted closer, his chest tightening at how vulnerable Tony looked in that moment.
“Tony…” Steve said softly. He paused, choosing his words carefully. “You don’t have to push yourself this hard.”
Tony blinked blearily at him. “Old habits die hard, Cap.”
The elevator doors closed, and Steve found himself watching Tony’s every move—the way his eyelids fluttered as he fought sleep, the way his body swayed slightly from exhaustion. On instinct, Steve reached out, resting his hand on the back of Tony’s belt to steady him.
Tony stiffened for a second, his breath catching as Steve’s hand lingered there. He swallowed hard, something strange twisting in his stomach at the intimate contact.
But Steve didn’t move his hand, his touch grounding, protective even. “You’ve got to take care of yourself,” Steve said softly.
Tony closed his eyes, leaning back just a little, the warmth of Steve’s hand a surprising comfort. “I know. I just… sometimes it’s easier to keep going.”
Steve sighed, feeling a pang of empathy. “I get that. But you’re not doing this alone anymore. You’ve got a team now.”
Tony nodded, the words hitting home in a way Steve couldn’t quite understand. When the elevator doors opened to the penthouse, Steve gently led Tony through the hallway, still guiding him by the back of his belt.
As they reached Tony’s room, Tony paused, glancing back at Steve. There was something in his eyes—something that made Steve’s grip on the belt tighten for just a second. Tony looked almost… fragile.
“Thanks,” Tony mumbled, his voice barely audible.
Steve gave him a small, understanding smile. “Get some sleep.”
Tony hesitated, staring at Steve for a moment before nodding and stepping into his room. The door slid shut, leaving Steve standing there, his heart unexpectedly heavy.
After the day Steve pulled him out of a board meeting, things started to change. Tony, normally the first to initiate their modern movie hangouts or late-night chats, was suddenly harder to find. He’d bury himself in the workshop or disappear for hours with no explanation. When Steve would ask about it, Tony would brush him off with a vague excuse or a quick smile.
Steve could sense something was off, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.
“Hey, you’ve been working late a lot,” Steve remarked one evening, leaning against the doorway to Tony’s lab. “I thought we were gonna watch that movie?”
Tony didn’t look up from the holo-display he was working on. “Sorry, Cap. Got some pressing projects. Rain check?”
Steve frowned. “You’ve been saying that for a week.”
Tony finally looked up, his face shadowed with something Steve couldn’t identify. “Yeah, well. Lot going on.”
“Tony, is something bothering you?”
Tony’s eyes flickered for a moment, guilt flashing across his face before he schooled his features into something neutral. “No, it’s just… work.”
Steve didn’t press, but he could feel Tony pulling away. The connection they’d built was straining, and Steve didn’t know why.
Meanwhile, Tony had been plotting in secret. For the past year, Steve had been adjusting to the future about as well as one could expect. There were still days Tony caught him staring out at the city like he could change it back if he stared hard enough or times his words caught and breath hitched when talking about the past and his life back then. But he was happy, or at least he seemed happy. Yet there was this nagging thought that had been stuck on loop in Tony’s mind for months now that maybe he could make Steve happier. But now, having watched his friend battle between being stuck in the past and trying to move on in the present, he couldn’t help but hope it was true.
What if Sergeant Bucky Barnes was still alive too? What if the fall didn’t kill him; could he have survived all this time? He’d had JARVIS run the simulations and the chances were abysmal but there was achance. Even if he was dead, he could bring his body home. Give him a proper burial, which is exactly how this all started with Steve and now here they were. He decided he owed it to his newfound friend to at least try. So, Operation: Find the Other Centurion commenced.
Searching for Bucky was both easier and harder than searching for Steve. Easier as the search area was so much smaller than it had been with Steve. Harder due to him searching all on his own and having to keep his solo expeditions out to the Alps under wraps from Steve and the team.
Tony had spent many sleepless nights debating if he should tell Steve what he was doing. He hated hiding this from him but Steve was doing better now. He had made friends, was finally sketching again and truly seemed happy most days. He was finally adjusting to this new life and realizing that he might’ve lost so much but it didn’t mean he was alone in it.
He couldn’t give Steve false hope and then be the one to tell him Bucky was dead or lost or dead and lost. So, he kept it secret from him and the others. He told them he was having an uptick in Stark Industries business and his increased security around the lab was merely tightening of all security protocols in the tower now that they all live there and it was a target for their enemies. He felt guilty lying to them, especially Steve, but he knew the odds of finding Sergeant Barnes were slim. Finding him alive was even less so.
He’d outfitted a Stark plane to have Doctor Cho’s cradle onboard alongside the most advanced medical and defrosting equipment he could fit on it. An Iron Man armor and specialized winter-weather flight suit were front and center as well as a holotable with JARVIS fully loaded onboard. If [very big if] he found Barnes alive, he wasn’t letting SHIELD get a single second with him alone. He’d fix him up himself from the get go should he need to.
“He always puts everybody else first.” Nat catches Steve one night on the sofa, Tony’s head cushioned on his thigh as the other man slept. Steve had managed to coax Tony out of lab for the first time in days and enticed him with a night of ‘catching up’ on another one of Tony’s movie recommendations. But it had been another busy week so Tony fell asleep early into the film and Steve had shuffled to get more comfortable before flipping the channel to a mindless nature documentary. He was just glad to have some time with his friend again, even if the other man was asleep.
He hummed noncommittally, sharing a glance down to Tony before meeting Nat’s eyes.
“He used to visit you. It became a sort of routine of his really.” Now Steve was just confused and he assumed his face said as much since Nat moved to sit in the couch opposite him.
“When you were still… under. He’d visit your grave; I only knew because I was briefly his assistant before you were found. Pepper told me he’d been doing it for years, long before she met him even.”
“I had followed him one day, curious to know where someone like Tony needed to sneak off to so regularly. He took his least flashy car and stopped by a flower shop. Seemed like he knew the florist really well. Then popped into a café, which not surprising knowing him. And then he parked and pulled out a camping chair, yes, a camping chair, from the trunk. I followed him nearly a block before he veered to the cemetery. I assumed it was his parents, or the human Jarvis. I have to admit, I was a bit surprised to see it was you.”
“What’d he do?” Steve asked, his heart beat quickening as the story continued.
“Just sat really; sat and talked for hours. He brushed off the headstone, changed the flowers for the new bouquet and then sat and sipped his coffee. I didn’t stay to listen in, it felt like I’d already pried too far at that point but I watched. After that I learned he’d not only been searching for you but also collecting all your things, talked to anybody who knew you and was piecing together your life bit by bit.”
Steve felt a lump form in his throat as Natasha’s words sank in. He looked down at Tony, still asleep, his breathing slow and steady. It was hard to imagine this man—who seemed to have an endless supply of energy and wit—sitting quietly at a grave, talking to someone who couldn’t talk back.
“Why… why would he do that?” Steve’s voice was quiet, almost like he was asking himself more than Natasha.
“Because he’s Tony,” Natasha replied simply. “He’s a lot of things, but most of all, he’s loyal. When he cares, he cares deeply, even if he doesn’t always show it. You were important to him long before you ever met. He grew up hearing about you from his father, and I think… I think he always felt like he was living in your shadow, trying to measure up, at least around Howard.”
Steve frowned, the weight of her words pressing down on him. “But I was just… a story to him.”
Natasha shook her head. “You were more than that. You were hope. You were the embodiment of everything he wanted to believe in but couldn’t. And when he lost his parents, I think you became a symbol of what he’d lost—someone who was supposed to be a hero but who also suffered and sacrificed. Visiting your grave… it was his way of holding onto that hope. Of trying to connect with something, or someone, that made sense to him. He never gave up trying to find you, no matter what the President or Pepper or anybody had to say about it.”
Steve’s heart ached as he considered the years Tony had spent doing this. The image of him sitting alone at that grave, talking to a headstone like it was an old friend, made his chest tighten. “He did all that… for me?”
Natasha’s expression softened as she looked at him. “For you, for himself… maybe even for his father. It’s hard to say, but it meant something to him, Steve. A lot. You mean a lot to him, even if he never said it.”
Steve gently stroked Tony’s hair, feeling the weight of everything he’d just learned. “I didn’t know… I didn’t know he cared like that.”
“He doesn’t show it, not in the way you might expect,” Natasha said. “But he does. You were always more than just a mission to him. He’s been trying to save you long before we found you. This… everything he’s done since then, it’s all been for you.”
Steve swallowed hard, his eyes burning as emotions welled up inside him. He’d always known Tony was complex, layered with sarcasm and bravado, but this… this was something different. Something raw and deeply personal. Tony had carried a burden for years; one Steve hadn’t even known about.
“He always puts everybody else first,” Natasha repeated, her voice gentle. “Even when he acts like he doesn’t care, like he’s the most self-centered person in the world, he’s always thinking about the people around him. And with you… I think he felt like he owed you something, even though he didn’t. Maybe it’s because of his father, maybe it’s because he always saw you as the man he could never be. But he tried, Steve. He tried so hard to make sure you’d have something to come back to.”
Steve nodded slowly, feeling the tears start to slip down his cheeks. He didn’t bother to wipe them away, didn’t try to hide the effect Natasha’s words were having on him. This wasn’t just about Tony visiting his grave—this was about everything Tony had done, everything he’d risked, to bring him back. And Steve realized, perhaps for the first time, just how much Tony had sacrificed for him.
“I need to do something for him,” Steve whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I need to show him that… that I see him. That I’m grateful.”
“You will,” Natasha assured him. “Just being here for him, like this… it’s already more than he ever expected. Tony’s always been afraid to let people in, to let them really see him. But with you… I think he’s finally starting to believe that he’s worth it. That he deserves to be cared for, too.”
Steve looked down at Tony again, his heart swelling with an overwhelming mix of emotions. “He does,” he said firmly. “He deserves everything.”
Natasha smiled softly and leaned back on the couch. “He’s lucky to have you, Steve. And you’re lucky to have him. Just… take care of each other, okay? You’ve both been through a lot. You both need it.”
Steve nodded, his hand still resting gently on Tony’s head. He understood now, more than ever, the depth of Tony’s actions. It wasn’t just about bringing him back—it was about everything that had come before. Every moment Tony had spent trying to reach out to a man he’d never met, every hour he’d spent alone at that grave, every effort he’d made to save Steve’s life.
And Steve was determined to make sure Tony knew just how much that meant to him.
As he sat there, watching Tony sleep peacefully, Steve felt a new resolve settle in his chest. Tony had spent years putting everyone else first, but now… now it was Steve’s turn to do the same for him. To be there for Tony in the way he’d always been there for Steve, even when Steve hadn’t known it. Because Tony deserved it.
Tony Stark wasn’t one to shy away from challenges, but the hunt for Bucky Barnes had taken a toll on him. His trips had become more frequent, and each one was covered under the guise of a business venture. The team, sharp as they were, had begun to notice. The way Tony’s shoulders seemed permanently tense, how he’d disappear into the workshop for hours, sometimes days, with the door locked and security tighter than ever—it was hard to miss.
Natasha had approached him about it once, under the pretense of needing something adjusted on her suit. She’d stood in the doorway, her eyes sharp as ever, watching him tinker with a device on his workbench. “You’ve been busy,” she’d remarked casually, leaning against the frame.
Tony hadn’t looked up. “Always am,” he’d replied, his tone a touch too clipped.
She hadn’t pressed further, but her gaze had lingered on him longer than usual, a silent acknowledgment that she knew something was off. Steve had noticed too, especially the way Tony seemed to avoid him more lately. It wasn’t that they were at odds, but the easy camaraderie they’d once had felt strained. Steve had caught Tony in the middle of the night once, nursing a drink in the kitchen. Tony had offered a smile, but it hadn’t reached his eyes.
“Just a lot on my mind,” Tony had said when Steve asked if he was okay.
Steve didn’t push. They all had their demons. But the concern gnawed at him. The rest of the team felt it too—Bruce had mentioned Tony’s elevated stress levels during a routine check-up, and Clint had noticed the extra security protocols Tony had put in place around the workshop.
Then came the day Tony’s plane was scheduled to leave again, another business trip that everyone knew had become more frequent than ever before. He was ready, but something held him back.
Natasha caught him before he could leave. She looked at him, then glanced at Steve, who was in the kitchen, fiddling with a mug of coffee, pretending not to eavesdrop.
“Take care of yourself out there,” Natasha said quietly, her voice devoid of its usual sarcasm. It was a small gesture, but one that carried weight.
Tony paused, something unspoken passing between them. “I always do,” he replied with a smirk, but there was no humor behind it.
He didn’t miss the way Steve’s gaze followed him, or how Natasha’s expression softened just slightly as she watched him walk away. They knew something was up, but neither of them pressed further. They trusted Tony, even if they didn’t understand what was going on.
It wasn’t until later, as Tony sat in the cockpit, the vast expanse of the Arctic beneath him, that he allowed himself to think about what he was doing. He knew he was close to finding Bucky, closer than ever before. But the cost… Tony shook his head, pushing the thought away.
As the jet hummed quietly through the sky, he let out a sigh, exhaustion seeping into his bones. He closed his eyes, just for a moment, and let the weight of it all settle on him.
Back at the compound, Natasha found Steve in the living room, staring at the spot where Tony had stood only hours before.
“He’ll be fine,” she said, more to herself than to Steve.
Steve nodded, though he wasn’t entirely convinced. “Yeah. He always is.”
The uneasy silence between them spoke volumes. They knew Tony was hiding something, and they knew it was causing him to stress and distance himself from them. But until Tony was ready to talk, all they could do was wait.