Chapter 7
*If anybody is Catholic and I get something horribly wrong please let me know. I haven't gone to a Catholic church since I was nine-ish. Any research done on it since then was part of my research on Abrahamic faiths in general for study purposes. Please enjoy!*
Kurt woke up to the sound of humming and fingers running through his hair. Following the sound he sees his mom sitting on his bedside. He goes to move but feels arms tighten around him, looking down he sees Rogue still asleep and clinging to him. It was strange, she wasn't this affectionate before everything happened. Neither was his mom actually now that he thinks about it. They both cared, sometimes too much, but they didn't really know how to be physically affectionate.
"Morning Love, how are you feeling?" Mystique asks him as she stares at him with so much love his chest hurt.
"I feel okay, my vounds still hurt," Kurt answers honestly as he leans into her hand.
"I know baby, lets get you some food. The others are in the dining room waiting for you." Mystique answers as she guides him out of the bed.
He doesn't know how to feel about being treated as if he was fragile. They never acted like this before, but, they also thought he had died. How would he act if he had survived and the others had died only to come back years later? He can see himself acting much in the same way as his family is now. Especially knowing how much Y/N had suffered before. Simple medical care was enough to put them on edge. Yet, they are not wrong to be wary. Something is most certainly wrong with his family, they are darker, more... twisted.
He truly doesn't know how to feel about the current situation. That's why he follows Y/N's lead though. Y/N keeps a steady head even when being offered everything they wanted before. If it wasn't for them he'd had given in right away. To be cherished and loved even at the lost of autonomy? Sacrifice one and receive something he's been starved so long for even if he ignored what he just went through. Y/N stays strong though, he wishes he was as strong as them.
At first his faith in God was shaken and he truly considered giving up on it altogether. What god would wish something so horrendous on not just his followers, but children? Y/N helped him though, helped him with keeping his faith intact even when the guards shouted and threatened such horrible things to make him give up on his faith. But, Y/N was there. Y/N shone through the dark like a light sent from The Heavens themselves.
Kurt's spoon freezes midway to his mouth as realization dawns on a fractured mind.
Y/N is his saint.
Y/N must've been sent by The Heavens to help guide him and the others. It makes perfect sense, they're ability to revive, to go back and save others, to be something more. How could he not realize it sooner?
God forgive him for not realizing an embodiment of his divinity sooner!
"Kurt? Ya alright Sugah?" He hears Rogue question with a touch to his shoulder. He must have zoned out longer then he realized.
"Ja Rogue, More then alright!" Kurt responds cheerfully and returns to eating as he ponders on a new shrine in his room.
~*~
Kitty felt smothered as she started to wake.
It was too hot and there was a weight pressing down on her.
Opening her eyes revealed it to be Logan clinging onto her tightly. It reminded her of the videos of mother cats grabbing onto their kits and not let go that she'd laugh at before the lab.
She wasn't laughing now.
She tried to leave the arms that caged her only to give up when Logan pulls her back into him with a growl. His grip was still so smothering. She considered using her mutation but her fuzzy mind became a little clearer at the idea.
She already tried.
Logan grabbed her before she could get very far and had her go back to sleep again.
She suppresses the shiver that wanted to claw down her spine. Everything is so wrong. Her home was different and no longer felt as warm as it used to. The walls had steel in them. She learned about that when she phased through the walls the first time she tried running from Logan. The whole place felt like a fortress.
The only stable constant for now is Y/N. She's noticed how Pietro and Kurt has changed as well. But Y/N hasn't. They're sill keeping it together so that they can be a dependable leader for them.
She's not stupid, she knows Y/N doesn't want to be a leader. Y/N still took on the weight though and still takes on the weight. She doesn't know where they would all be without them.
She owes everything to Y/N so she will do her best to do whatever it is that Y/N says or wants.
"Come on kit, lets get you food," Logan huffs out as he picks her up.
She'll play along for now.
~*~
Pietro lets out a groan as he feels himself be pulled back to his father and Wanda.
"Pietro, your legs are still healing, please take your time," Erik scolds with exasperated fondness.
"But I want to see Y/N Now!" Pietro whines.
Wanda rolls her eyes, "You shouldn't whine so much Pietro."
"Mimimi," Pietro mocks with his hand.
This causes her to swat at him until he walks on the other side of his father.
Pietro falls into step with his father and sister as he ponders his thoughts.
He knows he shouldn't be so obsessed with Y/N. But how could he not be? Y/N didn't hesitate to try and understand him. While others always wanted him to slow down while they didn't bother to pick up the pace Y/N didn't do that.
Y/N not only attempted to keep up with him, they succeeded.
They looked at him and didn't see someone who needed to change the very core of their being. They challenged him, made him better then he was before in ways that were still truly him.
How could he not adore perfection when he saw it?
Surely Y/N must be perfection incarnated.
They accepted him so steadfastly and didn't hesitate to snap back on anyone who tried to change him instead of trying to understand him. Y/N even lashed out on his father in such a way that he had to leave the mansion to think about his actions. The day his father came back he was a better father, more loving, more understanding.
He didn't even do anything to get back at Y/N. He started treating them like they were a part of his family even.
Pietro remembered the first time he overheard Y/N crying in a closet because they couldn't comprehend being treated like they were wanted. Maybe that was when he started to become more obsessive over being around them.
Y/N has been the only person he would ever slow down for.
He enjoyed being at Y/N's pace as much as he enjoyed them being at his. He loved watching them create, watching them take that little extra time to be certain that whatever they were working on came out just right. Loved when they would bounce ideas off of him at such a rapid rate he had trouble keeping up.
Y/N is his friend, of course he would ensure that they are the happiest they can be.
Even if he was to go against his family.
~*~
I woke up to the feeling of sunlight on my face. Looking around the room I was in it wasn't one I've seen before. The walls were lovely and there were so many baubles and trinkets I felt kind of like Howl. My medals and trophies decorated the walls and shelves as well as books, specimens, and other things I've collected over the years I was here. It was strange to see them untouched and yet so clean.
The sound of a snore disturbs the silence.
Looking over the bed I see Victor sleeping on the floor beside my bed. I guess it makes sense. He did kind of seem to latch onto me after he first showed up. I still remember the memories clearly.
Victor had shown up for help with his violent tendencies. An inspection from The Professor proved he was being genuine. Even after that though nobody trusted him or thought he could change. They only saw him as a violent animal, they refused to see him as anything other.
The counseling sessions with Jean never went anywhere because she wouldn't actually try to understand him. Patience and self-discipline training never helped as they always called out his mistakes and didn't praise or even acknowledge his progress. They never gave him a chance and were always looking for something to try and kick him out over. Despite all of that he still tried.
So I decided to help him.
I read every book on psychology, psychiatry, trauma, and self-help I could get my hand on. I made notes on every observation of Victor I could gather or infer. I ended up with three notebooks overflowing just from that. I made up a plan binder plus a copy of it so that he could actually see his progress and we could both make notes of it. I spent every moment I could on putting everything together even forgoing sleep unless my body cried for it and even then I didn't stop until it eventually crashed.
Once my plans were ready I confronted Victor with the offer to actually help him. He accepted out of amused curiosity, I could tell he thought I would give up soon after my offer. But he still tried my plan and soon, progress was truly being made.
The exercises and sessions I had with him were simple.
There were patience exercises were I would just annoy him and push his buttons until he lashed out physically. At first he couldn't last a very long time but within two weeks I got him to fifteen minutes before snapping. I gave him pointers on how to control his temper and how to tune people out. Every time he lasted five minutes longer I rewarded him with some candy I made myself after the session.
There was one time where I didn't step back quick enough and Victor ended up scratching my arm. He started panicking, not because of any punishment he'd face, but because he had hurt me. I had made it clear to Victor that I knew it was a possibility but I trusted him to not actually do anything severe. I learned that day that feral saliva had regenerative properties. Also that Victor was a total cuddle bug, I couldn't get up until almost two hours after.
Self-discipline and control took a little longer to figure out but I settled on using his sweet tooth against him. That took a little while longer. I'd leave very sweet baked goods around the mansion with names or notes to not touch them. If he took any of them I'd take a star from a set of ten. Figuring out how to reward him was driving me crazy until I remembered his love for sparring. Every star remaining by the end of a week was a minute to a sparring session with me. He paid me back for the patience exercises during that time, but they were also some of the best sparring matches I've ever had so it was a win-win in my opinion.
There were also therapy and trauma healing sessions. Those were every Wednesday and once they were done I gave him the rest of the day to think about what we went over. It took a couple of weeks and me opening up to him as much as he did to me before we could make progress. There were tears on both sides for that one.
The healing sessions ended up turning into session where he would just take care of me. It was his idea actually, to prove to himself that he could care and nurture for another being instead of just tormenting and killing them. That turned out to also be good for me. Made me realize that the things I always did for myself weren't things that the other kids at the mansion really did themselves. These sessions also ended up in tears a lot.
I think he really attached himself to me when he realized I was being genuine.
If I could pinpoint it I would say it was the time he listened to me rant to myself in the library about everyone elses' hypocrisy in not helping him as I adjust the exercises to his progress. After a few minutes he made himself known by picking me up and just making me take a nap with him in his nest. I'd find myself dragged there a lot after that.
The biggest thing I did was accept his nature and tried to genuinely understand him. It wasn't even that hard to do but the others couldn't do it. Sure, it could be because they had to face him. But if that was the case then I couldn't help him because the only person who faced him more then I did was Logan!
I must have let out a huff louder then intended because soon after Victor peeked his head over my bed.
"Morning Victor. I- I'm sorry if a statement I said before hurt you. Any critiques I said was against the others not you," I apologized as I scratched the top of his head making him purr almost immediately.
"I know cub, ya were right ta say something though. They don' have the right to fawn ove ya when they hardly acknowledged ya unless they needed something." Victor responded as he pushed into my hand.
"I'm glad, thank you for understanding," I thanked him.
"Come on, lets get some food in ya," Victor said as he shook his hair out and stood up.
When I slid out of the bed he quickly scooped me up, placed me on his back, and bounded on all fours as fast as he could to the dining room. A few steps of him putting extra bounce in his moves and I was laughing. His laughter joined mine and he took a few extra turns to extend the fun.
When we got to the stairs he just leapt over the banister onto the floor below and I clung onto him as I cackled. When we landed he slid the few feet to the end of the foyer. At the next hallway he picked up a bouncy trot like he was a show horse.
I was having so much fun that for a moment I could forget about my and the others' current situation.
I was reminded all to quickly though when we entered the dining room and I see some of the more pushy adults there. Mr. Lensherr, Mystique, Rogue, Wanda, and Logan. However Pietro, Kitty, and Kurt was also there and seemed to be the main focus of the others.
Then Victor deposited me in a seat and I was suddenly the center of attention.
"I'm going to get you some food, alright cub? I'll be right back," Victor says as he pats my head before leaving once I acknowledge him.
The moment Victor was gone the other three quickly moved over to my area of the table.
"Y/N! How did you sleep? How are you feeling? How are your wounds? Have you been told anything new? Do you know what we're going to do today?" Pietro questioned in a rapid fire rate.
"Morning Pietro, I slept fine, I feel alright, my wounds are pretty much healed, I haven't been told anything new, I don't know what anybody has planned today," I answer his questions as I list the answers on my fingers, "How are you feeling Pietro?"
"Better! My legs are still sore and tender and these braces are annoying to get used to but if I want to run like I used to I need to wear them now," Pietro answered as he leaned onto me.
"That's wonderful Pietro, What about you two? How are you healing?" I ask Kurt and Kitty.
"We're both fine, Kurt isn't allowed to talk as his throat still needs time even with Beast's ointments. My breathing is still wheezy but besides all of that we're doing alright," Kitty shrugs unconcerned for the moment.
"That's good, Dr. Mccoy will be giving all of you another examination today. Depending on what he says we'll allow usage of your mutations." Mr. Lensherr speaks up.
"And if he approves of it you and I are going hunting Cub!" Victor interrupts as he places a plate full of meat and pancakes in front of me.
“I hope so, I have an itch building under my skin,” I take a breath and furrow my brow, “What… what would the examinations entail?”
"Nothing invasive, just physical examinations," Erik explained with a smile. It felt like he was trying a little too hard to be comforting.
I fidgeted with my food and hands acting as if the thought of examinations unsettled me.
"Okay, that's okay." I muttered as I started eating, acting as if I needed the motion to distract myself.
"If you need, we could have someone there for you?" Mystique offered honey dripping from her voice.
A good time to act needy?
Oh absolutely! Pietro answered excited at the chance of mischief.
It's totally a good time. Kitty I've noticed liked to fool people with her acting.
Mom would be easy to use affection against. But ve have to be careful, if anyone can sense us not being genuine, beside ze obvious, it will be Mystique. Kurt adds.
I send a signal of acknowledgment to everyone as I prepare myself to add the next weave that will aid in our escape.
"Please? I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be so scared but the fear won’t leave," I said with a shame filled voice.
"There's no shame in that cub, you all have gone through something terrible. I was going to come with anyway," Victor coos as he runs a finger through my choppy locks.
Kurt had tugged on Mystique's sleeve and looked up at her pleadingly.
"Of course I'll be there Kurt, I'm not letting you or Rogue out of my sight ever again."
Pietro was silent as he had a conflicted expression, his gaze focused on his food as his dart between the different things on his plate.
"Pietro?" Magneto pried as he tried to look in his son's eyes
"You and Wanda could come, it's whatever if you don't." Pietro said as he started to shovel food into his mouth.
Pietro, you're a genius you little manipulator!
Guilty as charged~
"Of course we're coming Tro!" Wanda exclaimed seemingly insulted by the idea of not being there for her brother.
Kitty let’s out a sigh, “I know you’re coming with whether I ask or not Lo’ but it would be nice if you were like there.”
“Anything for you, pup,” Logan says as he ruffles Kitty’s hair making her playfully swat at his hand.
Once everyone was settled once again we resumed our meal.
A pancake and an egg in I felt full, so I pushed my plate away and moved to get up from the chair. The chairs feel taller and larger then what I remember, is this another of Charles' machinations?
The moment my feet touched the ground Victor pulled me back into my seat. I stared at him confused for a moment then try to get up again only for him to the same thing.
"What are you doing?" I questioned with a scowl.
"You need to eat more, cub," Victor answered.
"I'm not hungry,” I answer as I move to get up again only to be kept in my seat.
“Ya need ta eat more as a feral,” Victor said as he raised a fork to my face.
I glare at the utensil as I try to come up with an escape plan. That was when a scent started to fill the air as Victor chuffed at me. It was calming and kind of musky, and it confused me on how quickly it seemed to take affect.
My head started to feel fuzzy and I found myself leaning against Victor. Whenever he chuffed at me I couldn’t help the responding noises that came from my throat. I’ve never been able to make noises like that before. Just how much has changed in me?
“I just need you to eat half of the food, can you do that?” Victor cooed at me as he offered the fork to my mouth.
I answered by opening my mouth to accept it.
As Victor continued feeding me he let out cooing noises that were often followed by praise. While it did feel patronizing it didn’t feel intentional, more like he was genuinely concerned. Which would make sense with how thin we became at the lab. Something else that needs to be considered. Victor outside of this moment hasn’t been acting any differently then he has before. Even then he had a penchant of watching me eat if he caught wind that I was sick. Surely he is not the only one that hasn’t changed all that much. I haven’t seen Morph, Remy, Dr. McCoy, or Storm yet. Who knows how they might’ve changed.
After half of the plate was gone Victor let me stand from my seat.
“Let’s go get your wounds checked,” Victor said as he nudged me along.
“Mhm, where’s the other three?” I asked as I looked behind me. They were still eating,
I felt something coil and cling to my heart, “I’m not leaving without them.”
Logan snapped his head to look at me the moment my statement was made. He was assessing me, but why? Nothing in my words felt wrong. Those three are my responsibility and mine to take care of. I have to look after them, I have to ensure their survival, I have to ensure they can thrive.
…
Something’s wrong. It feels like my thoughts have a different edge to them.
Charles and Jean aren’t in my head, so it’s not them.
Logan looks like he recognizes what’s going through my head. Looking at Victor he has the same expression of recognition. Something else has solidified in his expression, it doesn’t feel like a threat to me or the others. I don’t know how to explain this sense of feeling that seems to have taken a hold inside of me. It feels intrinsic though, more instinctual. I’ll have to ask Victor about it later, when we have privacy. I can’t let the other adults know how far this Sense runs in me. Either they’ll try to use it against me and mine or I can use it to give us an edge in the chance we have to flee.
Victor ruffles my hair, “Then we’ll wait for them.”
“Thank you,” I respond as I sit back down to wait.
During that time I take the chance to assess how the other adults seem to be having a silent conversation with each other. I don’t like it. I also don’t like how Logan keeps turning to assess me when he thinks I won’t notice. As if I’m something that quickly needs to be controlled. There were a few times Victor had to stare Logan down to get him to divert his gaze. Something has changed, I need to find out if it’s a good or bad change though. Maybe Dr. McCoy will have answers.