Elevated

Nora didn’t really want Bucky to let her go, but she could hear the rapid beating of his heart under her ear and knew he was afraid. She also thought she probably would rather walk herself than let Clint carry her after all the crap he’d been apparently talking, but she was scared if she opened her mouth she’d tell Bucky not to go and that wouldn’t be fair. She let Clint carry her through the double doors.

Immediately she was swooped upon by medical personnel. Clint put her down and then she was being poked and having lights shone in her eyes and getting asked what year it was and who was president. From the corner of the room Clint said, “She works with Banner, give her a harder question.”

She wasn’t sure if he was trying to make her laugh or was genuinely concerned about her brain. She felt alright. Her head hurt and she was a little sore but otherwise she didn’t think she was broken. She let the doctors help her change into a sweatsuit anyways (better than a hospital gown but it had STARK in big letters on the leg which was stupid) and lay very still while they put her through an MRI.

The doctor stitched her head shut, stuck a bandage on it, and told her she was fine but they wanted her to stay overnight just in case. That was alright because as fine as she apparently was, she was also horrifically tired and she didn’t think she’d be able to manage the elevator. She lay back against the really nice pillows on the bed they’d put her in and put an arm over her eyes.

Clint, who had stayed the entire time, stepped from the corner to put a hand on her knee, “Alright, Nora?”

She shifted enough to squint at him. He looked very somber. She liked Clint, but she was still a little annoyed at him and thought she should probably get to the bottom of that and now was as good a time as any, “Why were you telling Steve I don’t know anything about superheroes?”

He flinched. Violently. That was weird, because she’d thought it was a pretty harmless question. Very slowly he answered, “That was months ago.” He fidgeted, “They thought you were scared of Bucky. Because of the elevator thing.”

Nora let her arm fall towards her collarbone instead, “What?”

“Steve and Sam and Bucky all thought you were scared of him cause they kept seeing you freak out in the elevator. I was just trying to say you weren’t.”

“Oh,” Nora considered that. It did explain a lot of the weirdness she’d been getting from Steve and Sam. She frowned. That must’ve sucked for Bucky and she felt a wave of sadness crest over her, “You told Steve that Bucky and I hang out.”

Clint flinched again, “I thought they knew! I didn’t know it would cause a whole-“ he gestured wildly, “thing!”

Two for two, Nora thought, on the misunderstandings. She didn’t really understand why Bucky hadn’t told Steve, she was pretty sure they were best friends, but she supposed he didn’t say a lot of things so that was probably it. Clint had definitely caused a whole thing, but he seemed pretty sorry and the information really did all seem harmless, despite what it had done. She stopped being annoyed, “Alright. I forgive you.”

“Really?” He looked relieved, “It’s been killing me. Everyone’s been pissed off for weeks.”

She covered her eyes again, “You know, you guys really seem to struggle with communication.”

Clint snorted and squeezed her leg, “No kidding. Are you okay by yourself for a minute? I should go tell Bucky and Sam you’re alright.”

“Yeah.”

His hand dropped away and she listened to him cross the room and leave. The swish of the door was a little like the lab, but not really. Nora felt like crying again. The lab was in pieces. An awful feeling swelled up in her, ballooning out into her limbs. She didn’t want to think about it. She rolled over and went to sleep instead.

When she woke a little while later, it was to Luna jumping on her feet. The little dog stretched out against her side and put her head on Nora’s lap. She looked extremely sad. Nora patted her automatically and rubbed her eyes with her other hand, “Hi Steve, hi Bucky.”

They looked awful. Steve seemed stressed and had a fistful of Bucky’s hoodie in his hand. Bucky seemed even more stressed, despite looking pretty much like usual. Nora thought that he was scared, and her stomach swooped knowing he’d come anyways, “Hey, you okay?” She reached out a hand.

Bucky stepped forward to take it. Steve didn’t let go, moving with him instead. Neither of them said anything. Bucky looked at her head for a second, then swept his eyes over the rest of her. He frowned. He settled his gaze on their hands. He’d taken hers in his right this time and it was warm.

“I’m alright.” Nora said, because she thought he needed to hear her say something, “Thanks for bringing Luna.” His frown twisted a little more and he shifted just a little bit. Steve’s hand tightened on his shoulder, “And thanks for coming to see me. You don’t have to stay, I’m really alright, they just aren’t allowed to let me go home by myself.”

Bucky seemed to fight with that a little more. He really didn’t look okay, a little like a rock would if it could freak out, all hard lines and stillness.

“Bucky, its okay. I’ll be out tomorrow; I’ll text Sam and we can hang out somewhere that’s not here. I know you wouldn’t make me hang out in an elevator.”

He seemed to crack, just a little. She thought maybe he didn’t want to, but he let go of her hand. He didn’t turn to go, but Steve sort of hauled at his sweater and steered him out anyways. Immediately after they went out, Clint, Sam and Tony came in. Nora patted Luna and said, “Hi Clint, hi Sam, hi Mr. Stark.” She never called Tony by his first name because it bothered him, but he looked extremely serious in a way he never did and didn’t snipe at her.

“You okay?” Sam asked. He dropped into the chair beside her bed and put a hand on her arm. Clint wandered to a chair in the corner and Tony stood by her feet looking extremely unhappy.

“Yeah. I only needed three stitches. Pretty sure the pieces of the Coolidge machine are what got me. They basically just turned into shrapnel.” Tony jerked and Nora realized her mistake, “I really am fine though. And I’m really sorry about the lab.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Tony muttered, “Take a couple of weeks and then we’ll get you set up back on eighteen.”

“What?” Nora asked.

“We’ll find you your own lab space, no more sharing with Tweedledee and Tweedledum.” He waved a hand like that was the issue.

“Sorry, what’s happening? Are you trying to fire me right now?”

Sam and Clint were watching them, both looking a little upset. Tony continued,“You won’t take a pay cut if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Nora sat up, suddenly furious in a way that only Tony Stark seemed to be able to make her, “You can’t fire me for a lab accident, it’s unethical!”

Tony blinked at her outrage, then squinted, “Nora, Bruce Hulked out and destroyed the lab. You could’ve died. You aren’t still working there.”

“What? That’s not what happened.” They all stared at her and Nora knew that she was in the middle of another misunderstanding. She waved a hand, furious at superheroes and their inability to properly communicate before jumping to a conclusion, “It was Odin’s stupid rock!” Three confused faces continued to stare, “Thor had this stupid rock of Odin’s sitting on he and Jane’s coffee table. The Coolidge machine started acting up right after he brought it home and then the second Coolidge machine started acting up after we shot off a bunch of radiation. It must’ve been calibrating to wherever the rock’s from, and we charged it up somehow when we did our experiment.”

Tony’s expression was shifting slowly into something like understanding. Clint and Sam looked mystified, “I was trying to get a reading off it so we could correct the calibration. Thor told me it was harmless, but the stupid thing exploded like the second I turned on the bario-metric scanner! If Bruce hadn’t Hulked out, I’d be dead for sure.”

Tony looked triumphant, which was weird because she really could’ve died. Sam, a hard edge to his voice she thought she recognized, said, “The Hulk didn’t freak you out at all?”

“No!” They all looked surprised again. She waved, “He was so polite! He said sorry for touching my desk and when I asked if I could have Bruce back cause somebody was knocking on the door he just wandered off to the corner and went away.” Nora sat back, surveying the weird range of expressions on the men, “I knew that newscaster was full of it when they said he destroyed that university.”

Tony pointed at her very seriously, then strode from the room without saying anything.

“What is that guy’s problem?” Nora muttered.

Bucky felt sick.

The monster in his chest kept swelling up, tearing at his insides. Every time she left his sight again it grew.

It had been bad the first time, watching her disappear with Clint. He sat with Sam and felt his lungs be ripped apart.

Thor brought Luna down and she lay with him on the floor, but he couldn’t tell if he felt better. Clint came out eventually and told them she was okay, but he didn’t believe it. He had to see her. Tony and Steve turned up, and then Wanda, but he couldn’t listen to any of them.

Then Steve had hauled him up by his elbow, gripped his sweater, and steered him down the hall. He didn’t think he could do it, but between Steve’s hand and Luna at his feet, he managed even though he felt like he was drowning.

Nora said she was okay, but he didn’t think that was fucking likely. She was hurt, a bandage on her forehead, and it ached just as badly as the first time even though he knew he wasn’t responsible. He wanted to stay. He wanted to sit with her. But the thing in his chest was killing him and he had to go.

He let Steve steer him all the way to the elevator and up to his apartment. He didn’t let go the entire time. Bucky found he wasn’t mad at Steve anymore. He’d helped Bucky do an impossible thing, and he sat with him all night while he paced and sweat and tried to drag in air. Sam texted Steve at eight, and Steve steered him back to the elevator and up to the lounge.

And then he could breathe again.

Nora stood in the middle of the lounge, looking around with interest. She was still wearing the clothes from medical, but she was standing and surveying the space almost the same way she looked at him when she waited for him to rank his coffee. Luna shot to his feet and he crouched to pet her because suddenly he wanted very much to wrap his arms around Nora and he thought that she might not like it if he did. The feeling of it was almost overwhelming, soft and warm and it made his heart hurt but not in the same way his anxiety and shame did.

“This place is so weird. You guys really hang out here together? That seems bizarre,” Nora said aloud, seemingly to Sam and Clint who were both flopped on the couch. They had both changed so they must have gone home the night before. Nora glanced over her shoulder, “Hi Bucky, hi Steve.”

He wanted to say something. Maybe say hello, or maybe ask how she felt, or if she was sore, or if she wanted to run away with him and never come back. He just still wasn’t very good at stringing more than two words together.

Nora frowned at him and his heart twisted horribly. He was sure she could see it on his face, whatever this thing was, and she didn’t like it.

“Isn’t that what you were wearing yesterday?”

Oh, she was concerned. He shrugged. Steve poked at his shoulder. He remembered he should stand up and move then. He crossed the room to stand near her by the couch, as close as he could manage without the urge to touch her overwhelming him. It was still unbearable.

“Are you okay, Nora?” Steve asked, following him into the room but heading towards the kitchen instead.

“Oh yeah,” She turned and surveyed the couch, then climbed over the back to sit by Clint. They weren’t touching, they weren’t even very close, but he thought if Clint reached out he probably could touch her. Bucky moved to stand behind her, hovering over her shoulder, and eyed Clint, “Tony tried to fire me though, can you believe that?”

Bucky made an annoyed sound. He still wanted Tony to fuck off.

“I know! He thought the Hulk destroyed the lab and for some reason that would make me want to quit. Like I didn’t know the entire time that it was built like a bomb shelter just in case of a sudden Hulk. Does he not know how good the science is?” Luna rounded the couch and hopped up to wedge herself between Nora and Clint and Bucky felt a little better. Nora patted her and continued, “Not to mention the Hulk was super polite, and Bruce is still by far the best boss I’ve ever had.”

Clint made a disbelieving noise, “Seriously?”

“Uh-huh. When I was in Norway I assisted a researcher who threw a thousand page formula binder at me because I corrected his math. I dodged it, but that thing definitely would’ve needed more than three stitches.”

Bucky found himself gripping the back of the couch very hard. Nora reached over her shoulder absently and patted his hand. The sharp edge of anger dulled. He became aware very suddenly, that Sam was watching him, something unreadable on his face. Steve was busying himself in the kitchen and pointedly not watching him at all.

“Seriously?” Clint muttered, “That sounds really abusive Nora.”

Nora nodded seriously, “Yeah. That’s not to mention Shmidt and Fowler in R&D. I mean, they never threw anything at me, but they totally stole my intellectual property which is way worse.”

Bucky was inclined to disagree, but he was willing to be upset with her. He thought he might like to know exactly who Shmidt and Fowler were. Sam continued to watch him carefully. Steve continued to not watch him at all. Bucky stood, close enough that he could touch her, and didn’t. The soft, warm thing in his chest stayed, and he thought he was okay.

It was quiet for a minute, but for Steve’s noise as he puttered in the kitchen, then Nora said, “Hey, you guys really seem to suck at communicating so I need to make sure, you’re not all going to let Bruce think I blame him right? Somebody’s going to tell him it wasn’t his fault?”

Clint barked a laugh.