Embers

The mood on the quinjet had been somber, to say the least. The Avengers had stayed in Lagos for a grueling sixteen hours helping with the rescue efforts before a local government official very politely, but very firmly, informed them that their assistance was no longer wanted. So the six heroes simply packed up and went home, too exhausted to argue.

Nat had sat next to James, his right arm around her shoulders, her head on his chest. He had told her what Crossbones had said - about the book that Hydra had used to control him. The very possibility that the book had survived was enough to terrify him. Though she had suggested Rumlow had brought up the book for that very purpose, to play on his nerves and set him off guard, if Natasha was honest, the idea deeply frightened her too.

Most of the Avengers had tried to sleep during the trip back home. Nat’s own slumber was fitful, haunted by smoke, cries of pain, and visions of ice blue eyes with no memories behind them. Between short naps she had silently watched her teammates as they also struggled to let sleep keep a hold of them.

They returned to the Avengers Compound in the late afternoon. A flashy sports car parked out front told her Tony was home. And with Tony around, there was no surprise to hear Rhodey’s voice echoing through the halls when the team entered.

They dispersed, each heading to their own rooms. Nat and James did the same, wordlessly. She watched her lover out of the corner of her eye as he entered their shared room, turned on the shower, and disrobed, his motions mechanical, acting out of habit rather than out of thought. She let him stew in his worry and fear… for now. A part of her was doing the same. But she also wasn’t about to let him pull away from her and into his own head all night. Instead, she tapped on her phone while waiting for her turn to clean up.

“Food will be here in twenty minutes,” she said, toweling off her hair after her own shower.

James didn’t look up from the journal he was flipping through, probably searching for some sort of hidden clues, subconscious answers buried deep in his memory of how to fight against the words in the red book . “Not hungry,” he muttered.

“You haven’t eaten in hours,” Natasha pressed, reaching into her closet for a change of clothes. “Besides, it’s Wednesday.”

Her boyfriend rolled his eyes and laid the journal on the bed next to where he sat. “We can skip Stark’s ‘family night’ once in a while.”

Wednesday Night Dinner had been a tradition Tony had insisted on since the formation of the Avengers, since the first time the battered team of heroes had settled down for shawarma after the Battle of New York. Though their team had evolved over the years, gathering for a meal together once a week had remained a pillar.

Nat climbed on the bed, kneeling behind James and wrapping her arms around his midsection. His right arm moved to cover hers while his left hand rubbed his temple. She could feel the stress in his body, the tension in his muscles, even as he sat in their room, safe from any harm.

But she knew he didn’t feel safe. And he wouldn’t as long as he was so focused on the unseen threat that may or may not be somewhere out there. But he wouldn’t consent to a night of relaxation on his own.

She tried a different tactic. James might not be very good at taking care of himself, but he would never refuse to take care of his loved ones.

“Wanda needs us, though. She needs to know she’s part of a family and not on her own right now,” she said, resting her cheek against his shoulder.

His body lifted and fell in a sigh, and the man retreated into his thoughts for several long seconds. Nat did her best not to hold her breath while waiting for a response.

“Fine.”

—-

Wanda’s door was cracked open, but Nat chose to give a gentle knock before pushing it any further. “Hey…”

Her words caught in her throat as she was surprised to find Vision and Wanda sitting at the foot of the girl’s bed. Sitting very close together.

“Oh, am I interrupting?”

“No,” Wanda and Vision answered in unison. Natasha didn’t miss the way Vision edged his hand away from where hers rested on the comforter.

Yes, she definitely was interrupting. She logged the scene away in the back of her mind, but let it go without further comment… at least, for now.

“It’s Wednesday, so I ordered food. It’ll be here soon. I was wondering if you wanted to join us downstairs.”

Wanda sniffed and looked away, but not before Natasha noticed the redness around her eyes and nose. The girl had been crying. While that wasn’t a surprise, it still twisted her heart to see.

Vision glanced from Wanda to Natasha and back again. “Well,” he said slowly, his words sounding carefully calculated, as usual, “I don’t actually eat food. So whatever you wish to do, Wanda…”

The younger woman huffed a chuckle at that, and Nat found herself smiling, as much in relief as in the sound of Wanda’s laughter, however short.

“Alright, we’ll be right down,” she conceded after a pause. “What’s for dinner?”

Natasha pushed herself off the doorframe she had been leaning against. “It was my turn to choose, so… borscht,” she replied with a shrug.

Wanda’s visibly winced. “I think I’m going to start crying again.”

“I’m kidding. I ordered Chinese.” Nat shook her head and moved to head down the hallway. “See you both down there.”

—-

Natasha arranged the little white takeout boxes buffet style in the shared kitchen as the Avegers filtered in. Tony and Rhodey, Sam… even Clint had made it to the compound, choosing to spend the night with his friends and making the rare occasion of taking time away from his own family. He had heard about Lagos, of course, and Nat was thankful he had chosen to show support for his team by joining them for dinner.

The mood in the room didn’t immediately lift with the presence of a meal, so Natasha had to keep working to boost her teammates’ morale. No easy feat for someone who didn’t enjoy being the center of attention. Usually, she could rely on Tony for some jokes and friendly teasing, but he had also been down since his split with Pepper. So that left Nat trying to prompt conversations without her friends becoming wise to her mission to cheer everyone else up as they dished out food and made their way to the big conference table that doubled as a dining room table.

An opportunity came when she noticed Wanda’s eyes linger on a pair of the restaurant’s disposable wooden chopsticks. She hesitated, tossing a subtle glance around the room before reaching into a drawer for a fork.

Wanda chose a seat just across from Natasha and James, and it was easy for Nat to give her boyfriend a nudge and a subtle tilt of her head in the girl’s direction. He glanced at Wanda and gave one of his characteristic grumpy grunts before pushing himself to his feet.

“Gonna have to learn how to use these,” James said, placing a pair of paper wrapped chopsticks in front of Wanda. “You too,” he continued as Pietro approached with a plate to take a seat nearby.

Both of the twins rolled their eyes. “I’m not really in the mood for a lesson,” Wanda began, but James shook his head, circling the long table and returning to his seat.

“Doesn’t matter. We take advantage when the lesson comes up.” He held up his own chopsticks. “You never know what situation you’re going to find yourself in. If you want to blend in anywhere, you learn things like this.”

Pietro lifted an egg roll with his fingers and bit it in half before reaching for his chopsticks. “Okay fine,” the boy said, the word muffled by his food.

James leaned forward, holding up one stick like a pencil and starting his instructions, while Nat sank back in her chair, watching. He cared a lot about the twins, being their main teacher after the battle against Ultron. Though she and the other Avengers also played a part in their training, James was always ready to take the lead. It was no secret that he felt somewhat responsible for them after their time together under Hydra, but no one had asked him to play the father figure. James had simply slipped into that role, and Wanda and Pietro followed his lead without question. It was one thing in their lives that felt… easy.

Pietro took to the chopsticks first, using his new utensils to pinch his sister’s arm while she batted at him with a laugh. “Where did you learn to use these, Bucky?” Pietro asked as a piece of saucy chicken slipped from between his chopstick and fell back to his plate.

“Japan,” James returned, blue eyes turning downward to focus on his food.

The boy tried again, this time successfully shoving the bite into his mouth. “During the war?”

Nat didn’t miss the way James clenched his jaw. “No.”

He didn’t elaborate, and the others got the hint not to press him further. Natasha found herself irked. James was just getting past his dark mood when his days with Hydra came back to haunt him. She mentally floundered, trying to think of a way to turn the conversation.

Fortunately, Pietro beat her to it. “Next time, we do Japanese food then. Sushi!”

From his place a few seats away, Tony scoffed at that. “I don’t think I can afford enough sushi to fill your stomach.”

Steve, choosing an empty seat next to Pietro, set a heaping plate down before sitting. “I haven’t tried sushi yet,” he mentioned.

Rhodey nearly spit out his beer. “What? You’re kidding! Not even a California roll?”

“Alright, alright,” Steve replied, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “I’ll put it on the list.”

“The list?” Vision repeated as he watched Wanda attempt to navigate how to capture lo mein noodles with her chopsticks.

Sam took it upon himself to answer as Steve dug his little notebook out of his pocket. “Now that Steve is living in the twenty first century, he has a lot of catching up to do. So he’s keeping a list of suggestions of what to try.”

“It’s a long list,” Steve admitted, a sheepish pink coloring his cheeks as he held the book up. Pietro was quick to grab it from his hand.

Wanda leaned over her sibling’s shoulder as he read. “You haven’t seen I Love Lucy?” she asked, sounding genuinely shocked.

“You have?” Tony asked her, just as surprised. Wanda’s cheeks also turned red, but Tony either didn’t notice or ignored her embarrassment, reaching across the table to snatch the book out of Steve’s fingers. “AC/DC isn’t on here,” he said, stabbing a chopstick at one of the pages.

Clint scoffed. “Because we hear it all the time hanging out with you.”

”Did you listen to Trouble Man yet?” Sam pressed, turning the attention back to Steve.

“Uh…” the man known as Captain America hesitated. “Like I said, it’s a long list.”

Sam threw a piece of celery across the table at his friend, queuing laughter from the other teammates at the table.

“What about you, Bucky?” Pietro suddenly asked. “Do you have a list?”

James leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. “Well, I like 40s music. So.” As if that answered the question.

Natasha smirked and took the lead instead. “I’ve been working on introducing him to other things. Sometimes he’s stubborn,” she cast her boyfriend a sideways glance. “Other times not so much.”

Clint waved his hands in the air. “We don’t need to hear what kind of things you’re introducing him to,” her friend said, rising from the table with his empty plate. “Children are present.”

Both Wanda and Pietro loudly complained at being called “children,” prompting another round of laughter from the group.

With a full stomach and a satisfied sigh, Natasha sat back to simply enjoy the company of the team she called her family.

—-

“Turn over. On your stomach.”

Back in their room, James complied with her request without question. He stretched out on their bed on his belly, pushing his hands under the pillow and closing his eyes as he settled against it. Natasha climbed over him, straddling his hips. A long groan escaped his lips as she began to press her hands against the tired muscles in his back.

He wordlessly let her work, massaging any remaining tension from his body. Though she was also exhausted, more than she would admit to him, Nat reveled in helping the man she loved relax. Helping him feel safe, helping him drift off to dreamland before his thoughts had a chance to return to his darker worries.

“C’mere,” he muttered after several minutes, twisting his body to wrap his left arm around her waist. She didn’t resist as he pulled her down to the bed beside him, his hand remaining on her hip as he rolled onto his side so they could face each other.

“I know what you’re doing,” James said, his quiet voice accusatory.

Natasha played dumb. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He grunted. “It’s the same thing you did for the Hulk. You find ways to make us all calm down. Make everyone feel better.”

His words were supposed to be reassuring, but the mention of the Hulk was a knife twist in the gut. Bruce had gone missing after the Avengers’ battle with Ultron. After she had refused his offer to run away together. After she chose James over him.

While Natasha didn’t have second thoughts about the decision, she hated that she had hurt her friend so badly that he left everything and everyone behind. She felt her face grow warm as guilt rose inside of her.

“Hey,” James interrupted her thoughts by tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I meant it as a compliment. You always take care of me, of all of us. I love you for that.”

Nat managed a smile in response before he leaned in to place a kiss, sweet and soft, on her lips.

“I love you too,” she responded. “Now get some sleep.”

He was as exhausted as she was, and it didn’t take long for his breath to even out and his body fully relax as he drifted off. Natasha watched him sleep, but suddenly had difficulty doing the same.