The dog park was particularly full that day, with way more people than she was used to taking up the small enclosed area. Families with their kids who were off on school break, their dogs running around like crazy.
It was busy, it was a little overwhelming.
“You okay?”
Luckily she had a way to stay calm.
Yelena took a breath and looked up at the voice. Kate was beaming down at her, doing a good job holding onto Lucky’s leash as the dog vibrated with the energy to run, a polar opposite to Fanny, who was as still and calm as her owner.
She looked pretty today, in her cargo shorts and cropped tank top, a loose shirt tied around her waist and purple aviator glasses. Kate Bishop was the kind of pretty that made Yelena’s breath catch in her throat and feel like she was innocent, like she was just as ordinary as the people around them.
She made her feel normal while she set her heart on fire.
Yelena squeezed the hand she held.
“Da, I am good,” she replied, bringing her hand up to rest on the archer’s elbow, hugging her arm closer to her side, “it is just busy.”
“Mm, I feel that,” Kate mused, looking around her, biting on her bottom lip before freeing it, “want to get outta here? We can walk the pups later when it’s quiet.”
Yelena tilted her head at the offer, it always amazed her that, despite how they had met, Kate Bishop would put her first. While a part of her wanted to take the archer up on it, Lucky whipped his head up with a whine that even she couldn’t deny.
The blonde ruffled his fur which stopped the grumbling.
“No, no this is good. We can stay.”
“You sure?”
Yelena stood up on her toes to place a kiss on Kate's chin, adoring the flush of red blossoming against her cheeks at the action.
We date for eight months and she still blushes like this, cute.
“Of course. Do not forget I am a trained assassin, Kate Bishop. I can handle a crowd.”
Kate winks at her, squeezing her hand one last time, and let's go to unleash the dog.
“Trust me, I will never forget it.”
She looked down and missed the resulting flush Yelena perfectly fought off, bending to free Fanny from her lead. As soon as the dogs were unclipped, Lucky sprinted towards a bundle of dogs rolling around together, but Fanny stayed by Yelena’s side, looking at her.
“Ty mozhesh' idti.”
Fanny bumped her head against Yelena’s thigh and trotted after Lucky at a much calmer pace, her tail swishing gently behind her. The blonde smiled as she left, immediately taking Kate’s waiting hand again,
“My dog is so awkward,” she mused as the pair walked after them.
“Dogs are meant to be like their owners…” Kate teased, and Yelena’s mouth dropped open in shock.
“So that explains why Lucky licks his butt.”
“What the hell?!” Kate snorted and coughed, breaking through with a laugh which made Yelena grin at her.
“It is okay, I can deal with the ass-kissing.”
“Oh, you’re funny! Please don’t say that around the others, I’ll lose whatever street cred I have.”
“You think you have any?”
Kate gasped and let go of her hand, holding her chest and collapsing to the ground with a choke.
“Oh… my god… your words… Help me!”
Yelena rolled her eyes at the dramatics, not caring about the looks they got as her girlfriend flailed around like she had been shot.
“You are embarrassing me in front of the dogs,” Yelena mumbled, and Kate grinned up at her.
“Not the people? Why that’s just like-”
She is cut off by a furry ball of mass slamming into her, Lucky covering the archer and smothering her in kisses and whines as she splutters from the attention. Fanny sidled up next to Yelena and huffed against her side as the other two flailed about on the ground, Lucky trying to bury his head in Kate’s shoulder.
“What do I see in her?” Yelena asked aloud, which made Kate laugh before Lucky accidentally stomped on her gut, and Fanny seemed to huff in response.
But then Yelena’s training informed her of something.
Someone is behind us.
Yelena turned on her foot and snapped around to the people walking up to them, Fanny following her lead with a silent snarl on her lips, with Kate and Lucky completely none the wiser.
“I feel like that sometimes!” a woman answered her rhetorical question. The blonde scanned her.
She was middle-aged, with bronze hair and dark eyes and a kind smile, with an awkward-looking man trailing behind them, a small dog pulling her along by the lead. The man held a little girl by the hand, letting her pull him along just as eagerly as the spaniel.
Lucky leapt off Kate and started to play with the dog, and Fanny peeled off to join in, which the woman was happy about, letting her dog off too.
“He was begging to play with your dog again!” she tried, eyes flicking to Kate when she wiped at her face and sat up, looking up at her from the ground.
“I saw them playing earlier!” Kate grinned, holding out a hand which Yelena took with a halfhearted huff, easily pulling the archer to her feet. Kate wrapped an arm around Yelena’s shoulders, “He loves a tussle, what’s your dog called?”
Yelena watched Kate’s profile as she talked with these strangers like it was nothing, which is something she would always, to some level, envy her for. The ease she felt, the hope she had that people were good.
Yelena looked at the people opposite them. The parents were speaking to Kate about their dog, but to her surprise, the little girl was looking right at her. She smiled, waving a small hand, drawing Yelena’s attention to what she held.
It was a pony, a plush toy, with a pink and purple mane, pink skin, wings, and a purple horn sticking from its forehead.
The sightless eyes felt like they locked her in place, locking her in a memory of Natasha bringing her the toy home, of her hugging it each night before bed.
A safe place within her safe place.
“Lena?”
She blinked away and to blue eyes, a hand squeezing her shoulder, bringing a surge of comfort. Yelena smiled quickly and let out a breath she didn’t realise she was holding.
“U menya vse khorosh,” she hushed back. Kate struggled with speaking the language, but she could understand it pretty well. The archer held up a thumb and looked back at the couple.
“It was super nice to meet you guys!” She said, holding out a fist for the little girl to bump, which she did, laughing when Kate acted like it hurt, “But we gotta head back, see you around the park, yeah?”
The woman laughed and Yelena brought her fingers to her lips, giving one sharp whistle. Fanny ran over, Lucky obediently following while the spaniel continued to roll around in the grass.
“Of course! Scout needs the good influence!”
“I take it you don’t mean Lucky?”
There is a beat of silence, the woman pulls a funny face, slowly shaking her head, and the four of them burst into laughter they seemed to struggle to contain, a joke Yelena didn’t follow, not that she was really trying.
Kate laughs with them, until she holds up the lead, letting go of Yelena to clip the dogs back up, waving goodbye to the polite family, taking Yelena’s hand, tugging on it so they can walk away.
“They were nice!”
Yelena hums, lost in her thoughts.
-x-
She was quiet for the rest of the day, sitting on the couch while Kate insisted on preparing dinner, staring at the book in her hands rather than reading it, her mind racing despite how calm she was.
Kate knew, of course she did, but she also knew Yelena, too. She presented the food with a smile, proud at how unburnt it was, and how she hadn’t added the wrong spice this time.
They ate on the couch, watching a new show Kate had started and Yelena dipped in and out of. When they finished, Yelena batted Kate’s hands away and took the dishes to the sink, sighing fondly when Kate appeared with a towel to dry them.
“Do you wanna do anything later?” she asked, and Yelena looked up, soap suds around her arms, some getting stuck in her hair, “Cuddle, watch a movie?”
The idea made her head spin.
“I want to read for a bit,” Yelena replied, dipping her hands in the water, “just for a few hours.”
Kate nodded her head.
“All cool, I’ll play some games.”
She winked, looking down to focus on drying up. Yelena stared at her profile for a moment too long, her heartwarming, and flicked some soap at her. The archer spluttered and wiped her face with the towel and a smirk.
“You are so bad at those video games.”
Kate just agreed with a head nod.
“Hell yeah I am, but practice makes perfect!”
“No shouting at the 3D characters after nine,” Kate pouted, and Yelena sighed, “ fine, after nine-thirty.”
Kate whooped and raised her fist.
“Compromise! Oh, baby?”
Yelena looked up and was met with a flick of soap against her face, which she instantly retaliated with,
The dishes didn’t get done for a while, and Yelena was shocked at how easy it was to be so light with Kate Bishop. After they had finished Kate made for the living room, stopping to kiss Fanny on the head and boop Lucky’s nose.
“Actually, I will watch you fail at the video games,” she announced, and Kate turned around, her face surprised, “let us see if you have improved.”
“You are so invested in the storyline.”
Yelena shrugged as nonchalantly as she could.
“I want to see if that God’s kid will stop being annoying.”
Kate groaned, staring at the ceiling.
“Oh yeah, I forgot Atreus was in his little shit era. Sure you wanna watch me play?”
Yelena nodded her head to the couch.
“Da, go set up, I will go change.”
Kate hopped over to the couch and Yelena went upstairs. She quickly changed into some loose grey cotton shorts and one of Kate’s purple college hoodies, content with how she felt in it, she jogged back downstairs.
She sat on Kate’s lap, half cuddling her, watching the screen with their legs stretched out. Lucky was flat out on the floor with Fanny tight to Kate’s side, and Yelena ran her fingers through her thick fur.
“Kinda scary how fast he turned into a zasranets,” Yelena mumbled, and Kate snickered.
“I like that, zasranets. Mean’s asshole, right?”
Yelena nodded, and Kate whispered it to herself.
“Zasranets… Got it. Yeah, he is a zasranets, finding out he’s a god and immediately going mad with power is crazy.”
“His daddy will put him in his place.”
They go quiet playing the game a little longer, both quietly cheering when the main character does just as Yelena had said he would. Yelena relaxes against Kate’s chest as she continues quietly commenting on the game and fighting through the level.
Yelena closed her eyes and leaned against her even more, her ear pushed to her heart, hearing it gently thud.
“Did you see what the little girl was holding?”
“Hm?” Kate asked, “From the dog park?”
“Da.”
“No, what was it?”
Yelena felt like she was made of glass. She never liked to speak about herself, about her past, but every single time she did with Kate the archer did not disappoint. She would listen, and somehow know the exact right thing to say.
Hopefully, that remains the same.
“It was a pony stuffed toy.”
Kate slowly nodded her head.
“Oh right, I think I remember it, like my little pony ones?”
Yelena’s head moved back and forth in a slow nod, rubbing against Kate’s hoodie, feeling the laughter bubble up in the archer’s chest.
“I remember this bully in my high school was super into them, but didn’t want anyone to know so, like, bullied the kids who watched it. Which was fine for him, until they saw him at a convention,” she snickered into Yelena’s hair, pushing a kiss to it, “So dumb, he was an idiot.”
Yelena hummed again, swallowing past the nervous lump in her throat.
“I had one,” she announced, although it was more of a whisper than she intended.
“Yeah?” Kate asked, her voice soft.
“Aga,” Yelena confirmed, leaning a little heavier. She could almost feel Kate catching on, sensing whatever Yelena had to say was important, “when I was a child, in Ohio. Before… everything.”
The audio from the game paused and Kate put the controller down. Her arms wrapped around Yelena’s waist, holding her closer. She didn’t speak, just waited, periodically pushing her lips against Yelena’s hair in a quick soft kiss.
Five minutes pass, and Yelena speaks again.
“The earliest memory I have is meeting Natasha.”
She remembers it even now. Being three years old, confused as to why she wasn't in the place with the other children, why the man with white hair had removed her to go to a room with a brightly decorated tree.
Yelena was confused, and she remained that way when another girl entered. She was older, she seemed afraid, her eyes drifting around the dark corners Yelena hadn’t even noticed.
“Pochemu zdes' devushka?” Natasha had asked, shakily reaching out and standing next to her, pulling the blonde to her side, protective even after only seconds, “Why is she here?”
Someone spoke but Yelena didn’t hear, staring up at Natasha in an odd sense of awe. The girl had looked at her, her face tense, when an uneasy smile broke out.
“I… I’m Natasha. I am your sister.”
Yelena grinned up at her, her heart racing. A sister!
Two more people arrived, they say they were her mama and papa, and Yelena knew it.
She knew she had a family.
She was glad to find them.
When they moved into their new home Yelena struggled to sleep. But then Natasha knocked on the door, sneaking in at 3 am.
“I can’t sleep,” she’d said, and Yelena nodded her head.
“Me either…”
Her sister climbed into bed and they held each other. On the nights Natasha was gone, Yelena felt more alone than ever. Even now it feels the same.
Kate hugged her tight, bringing her back from her memories.
“When we moved to Ohio, I did not sleep well. Natasha would share my bed with me when we were younger until I got better at sleeping.”
“That was very nice of her,” Kate whispered, and Yelena smiled softly.
“Sometimes she couldn’t, they took her for missions, small operations that I had no idea existed. And she was gone for days. She came back, saw how tired I was, and the next day she gave me that stuffed pony.”
“She will keep you safe when I am not here,” Natasha said, holding the toy out to her, smiling warmly as Yelena squeezed the pink horse tight, “take care of it, okay?”
Yelena blinked away tears, they would not fall, she would not let them.
“I think she stole it,” she laughed, “which makes sense because we did not get pocket money.”
“So she was always a badass?”
The blonde tutted her tongue.
“You think stealing is badass?”
“Sometimes, yeah.”
She kissed her head again, and Yelena looked up, finally meeting Kate’s eyes.
“I slept with it every night,” she finally mumbled, sitting back to rest her head against Kate’s shoulder, “it was my favourite thing. That and American Pie. The song, not the movie.”
Kate nodded slowly.
“What happened to it?”
Kate regretted the words as soon as she said them, the furrow quickly returning to Yelena’s brow. Before she could kick herself her girlfriend kept talking.
“I lost it the night I was taken to the Red Room. I remember having it, but when I woke up in the container it was gone.”
Container. Kate’s insides churned at the words, and she held on a little tighter.
“I’m sorry.”
Yelena waved a hand and wrapped her arms around Kate’s shoulders, moving to sit with her knees on either side of Kate’s thighs, burying her head in the archer’s neck.
“It is done,” she mumbled, “nothing to be sorry about.”
Kate frowned for a moment in thought, but hugged Yelena as tight as she could, rubbing calming circles on her back, and not commenting on the silent sniffling and wet warmth she felt down her shirt.
“Thank you for telling me,” she whispered, and she felt Yelena smile against her skin.
“Thank you for listening.”
She may not have her horse, but she has someone better.
-x-
Three days pass and they do not talk about the pony, which Yelena is grateful for. She is unused to sharing emotions and requires time before allowing herself to fall back into them again.
Kate goes to the office on Thursday, for her weekly Bishop Security duties, and Yelena goes for a run with the dogs. They make good time, Fanny keeping Lucky in check, and return home with no problems.
She heads out again, deciding to make something special for dinner, texting Kate to let her know. She returns to find Kate waiting for her, leaning against the kitchen counter with her right leg bouncing, which stills when she meets Yelena’s eyes.
“Hey!”
She pushed off the counter, her hands behind her back.
“Hello, moya lyubov',” Yelena crooned, taking her bags to the kitchen table, “what are you hiding?”
“What makes you think I’m hiding something?”
Yelena raises a brow and side-eyes her, glancing at her arms behind her back.
“You mean other than I know you, I know how you are when you are hiding something, and the biggest giveaway is…”
She turned around, hopping up to sit on the kitchen table, immediately catching Kate’s eye as she crossed her legs.
“You haven’t hugged me yet.”
Kate blushed a bright colour, and Yelena tilted her head with a grin.
“I… yeah, that’s a fair point. Busted!”
She pushed off the counter and stepped closer, but still short of Yelena, who was watching her with growing curiosity. She brought a paper bag around to her front, awkwardly squeezing it.
“What is that?” Yelena asked, and Kate took a breath. She was nervous, so Yelena reached out with a leg to touch her thigh, guiding Kate closer to stand between her knees. Kate chewed on her lip for a moment, so Yelena reached out and soothed it, her thumb gently moving across it.
“I… I thought it was a good idea, but if not tell me and I’ll like, throw it out or something, okay?”
Yelena nodded slowly, now a little nervous, and Kate handed her the bag. She pulled the sides apart and froze at what she saw.
Kate rubbed her arm awkwardly.
“Like I said I could just take it back or…”
“Kate, what is this?”
The other woman swallowed but knew better than to touch her at that moment. She clenched her jaw and took a shaky breath, crossing her arms over her chest.
“It… I did some research into it, going off what I vaguely remember of that kid’s one and what it looked like, and while I was looking into it I sorta… found it? In the second-hand store, and I thought, well, maybe you’d want it?”
Yelena knew Kate was talking, but she couldn’t hear her. In her hands, she held a pink plush toy.
It had light purple skin. Wings. Overly large eyes, a horn.
A purple and pink mane, which was ratty, but held in place with a small piece of elastic.
Yelena felt the bag drop from her fingers, the sound of it hitting the floor was like a gunshot.
“It… it’s called Twilight Sparkle, by the… erm, by the way.”
Yelena ran her hand down the plastic mane.
“What is?”
Her voice was so quiet Kate barely heard her. She moved slowly, bringing her hand up to rest on the table next to Yelena, the other loose by her side.
“The… the horse. It’s from that show, that’s what they called her.”
Yelena touched the wings. They were different, not quite the same texture, but it was…
It was close.
“I called her Pixie.”
Kate smiled, she could see out of the corner of her eye.
“Pixie is so much better.”
Suddenly she wasn’t sitting in the kitchen with Kate Bishop.
She was a child, being too afraid to sleep alone, and clinging to the one thing which would bring her comfort even when she didn’t know she needed it.
Even now.
Yelena squeezed one of its discoloured hooves.
Kate didn’t speak for a little while, watching Yelena pet the toy horse with a childlike wonder she had never seen on her face before.
“I… Yelena, is that okay?”
Her voice was barely a whisper, and watery green eyes finally met her own. She held the pony to her chest with one arm,and the other snatched at Kate’s shoulder.
“Whoa!”
She fell into Yelena’s embrace, the blonde clinging to her front, holding her tight with a body lock Kate knew she had no chance of escaping.
Not that she would want to.
“I love you.”
She wrapped her arms around Yelena and held her just as tight.
“I love you, too.”
-x-
Yelena didn’t like coming here. It was beautiful, yes, but a reminder of the one thing she would never have, the largest loss she had ever suffered.
NATASHAROMANOFF
DAUGHTER · SISTER · AVENGER
The blonde started her routine.
Fanny patrolled the area to give her privacy, she cleared the dead flowers and packed them in a bag to take to the compost, replacing them with a new bunch she had brought with her. She wiped the marble down, took care of the engraving of her name, and looked through the items left behind by people who still, all this time later, remembered her sister for who she was.
A hero. The hero.
Photos of families reunited, toys from children who got their parents back, flowers from people who understood that it was Natasha’s unsung sacrifice they were grateful for.
She rested her forehead against the stone, gripping it tight as a whistle passed her lips.
It hung in the air for too long, she leaned her head against the grave.
“Privet, sestra,” she whispered, standing, dragging her hand along the grave and standing before it, her hands in her pockets, determined to not look at the photo of Natasha someone had cut out and placed there.
Instead, she read the words, over and over.
NATASHA ROMANOFF
DAUGHTER · SISTER · AVENGER
“I’ve been sleeping well,” Yelena spoke, clearing her throat and looking down, spying the bag on the floor where she had left it. She bent her knees and sat down, pulling the horse from the bag and holding it between her hands.
“I found something a little better than… Twilight Sparkle. Did you know that was her name when you stole it?”
She looked at the horse in her hands, at the too-large smile stitched onto its face and the shimmer of its wings, the star sewn into her side, a little broken, but still visible.
“Of course you didn’t. I didn’t, not until now, anyway.”
She sat with her legs crossed, holding the horse in her lap, positioning it to look at the grave. Her mouth moved and no words formed, not until she cleared her throat and swallowed, a misplaced smile flickering over her lips.
“I found someone to keep the nightmares away. She makes sure I know it is all going to be okay, sometimes without waking up.”
The number of times her heart raced and she shot up in bed, memories of the Red Room and the horrors she committed right in her mind, sinking away at the sight of Kate Bishop by her side.
Sleeping soundly, one hand reaching out for Yelena, instinct leading her to comfort the other woman.
“... She is good. I think you would have liked her.”
Yelena ran her thumbs over the horse's wings as she laughed quietly.
“Or hated her, because of that big sister shovel talk you used to joke about with dad when we were kids. You always said you’d… what was it… ah yes, bury them to their neck in the sand with the tide coming in.”
Yelena laughs at that, leaning back to stare at the sky and let her tears fall down her face.
She wouldn’t hide her emotions here, she couldn’t.
“You were always so violent and protective. It was one of the things I loved and hated about you. But if you met her, even if you somehow got past me to bury her in the sand, I know Kate Bishop would have charmed you into digging her out.”
She looked back down, and wrapped the mane of the toy around her finger, pinching it between her nails.
“She gave me this, found it in a charity store I think.”
Yelena held it up for the grave to see, uncaring how stupid it may seem.
“It is not quite the same. This one has better hair and fewer paint stains Mama barely managed to wash out, but... it is good.”
Yelena dropped her arm and angrily wiped at her eyes, cursing.
“Tears are so annoying…”
Finally clear of them she looked back at the grave. It loomed over her, the cherry blossom behind it swaying gently in the breeze. There was a nest in a knot of the tree, she realised and wondered what bird would choose such a place.
She dragged her gaze back to the soft plushie in her hands, her thumb dragging along it.
“I think you need this more than I do now,” she swallowed past a hard feeling in her throat and hugged the horse to her chest, as tight as she could, pouring all she had into that small act, before releasing her grip with a quiet sigh, which could be a whine.
“... She will keep you safe when I am not here.”
Yelena leaned forward and placed the horse in the small, perfectly sized gap between some flowers and the photo of Natasha, which Yelena now chose to look at.
It was from the Battle of New York, a magazine if she had to guess. Natasha looked so serious, frowning at some unseen threat, ready to fight it to save the day.
Yelena smiled at it, tracing the image over and over.
“Such a poser…” she whispered, and stood, taking her bag with her. She gave the grave one last look, placing a hand on the corner, clutching it tight.
If she closed her eyes, she could imagine Natasha was standing next to her, grinning as she teased her about Kate, abouther choice of clothes having so many pockets, about everything a sister would and should talk about.
Yelena opened her eyes, looking up at the owl poking its large eyes at her, and she smiled at it.
“Lyublyu tebya, sestra.”
The owl ruffled its feathers, returning to its nest, and Yelena left the grave, her dog joining her as they walked through the trees.