Bloodlines

It had been over a year since I started hallucinating Charlotte. The first time it happened was after a nightmare. I felt the cold wet ground surrounding me. All I could do was look up. My mother stood over me with a shovel. 

“Breathe Alison.” she said. It sounded angry and scared at the same time. I try to speak or move but I can't do either. She yells at me to breathe, each time she shovels more dirt on me. Her fearful voice sounds more like I'm holding my breath to get what I want. Not the horror of the fact that she's burying me alive. Dirt is covering my face and I can't move. I start to taste it in my mouth. I feel hands on my face but I can't see who they belong to.

I broke out of the dream just then. All I felt was cold sweat. I was only taking short hyperventilating breaths. My eyes focused on my wife’s 

“Ali, breathe.” She was holding my face in her hands. Her eyes were wide with worry but her voice was stern. She only uses it when she’s terrified. I started to come back to reality and slow my breathing down. I was sitting up against the headboard of the bed. Emily was patient as usual. With everything that's happened, at least once a month one of us will have a nightmare or can't sleep. 

“What do you need?” Her tone is noticeably more gentle now that I started breathing properly. No words needed to be exchanged, I just tugged on her shirt and she did the rest. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me to her so my head was on her chest. We tangled our legs together like we had done since we were kids. Her heartbeat returned to a normal pace. She knew I wouldn't fall asleep anytime soon. She didn't move at all. 

Thankfully she had fallen asleep quickly because everything changed after that nightmare. I stared at the wall thinking about what it would be like to get out of this town. I noticed movement in the corner of the bedroom. I assumed it was one of the girls waking up. I get up out of bed, making sure to not wake Em up. 

I don't know how I knew. I just did. She was in my head. Her figure that I was seeing was a product of batshit crazy running in my family. Charlotte stood in the light of the room provided by the streetlamp outside. She smiled at me, put her finger up to her lips telling me to “Shhhh.”

-

Now Charlotte shows up whenever I get too emotional. At least I think so. I didn't want to go to the hospital since I already had a bad history. 

Charlotte just stares at me through the mirror. “You can't ignore me forever.”

Yes I can, I thought to myself.

I had only been driving for 3 hours. But I stopped at a gas station to get gas and coffee. As I walked up to the bathroom on the side of the building, Charlotte appeared in front of me. 

“ Sorry about you and Emily.” she said with sarcasm. 

“It was still better than my first marriage.”  I shot back with equal sarcasm. I slapped the air that would have been her face as I walked through her. I knew it would never contact her but it still made me feel better. I walked into the bathroom and splash my face with water. I can't see her but I can hear her. 

“Oh come on Ali, don't you think that's a little dramatic? I didn't tell Archie to torture you or marry you. He did that on his own.”

I scoff at her as I dry my face off. 

“And did he make you want to start up the game again too? The point is you never cared about me.” 

“That's a lie and we both knew it. I loved you so much Ali. That's why I became A.” My anger was really building now. 

“You became A, tortured my friends and blew up Toby's house because you love me?”

Charlotte's expressions became furious.

“Yes! They got more time with you then I did and they wasted it, only loving you after you were gone!” 

My head was spinning at this point. I usually don't give in and talk to her this much mostly because I feel crazy every time but it has only been less than a day since I got the A text. I was already feeling unpredictable. All I could think about was A. 

An evil grin appeared on Charlotte's face “Oh yes. There's a new A. Can't wait for you to figure out who it is.”

“You know who it is?”

“Of course I do.” 

The air felt heavier around me now.

“If you are in my head and you know who it is then that means I know who it is right?” 

“Slow down sissy, it's going to take more work than that.”

“Tell me!” The words erupted from me. It felt like emotional whiplash as I began to beg. “Please. Everyone is in danger and scared. We have kids!” tears start streaming down my face.

“Suddenly you want me around huh?” She smiled and went to walk out the door. She stops in the doorway. 

“I really did love you Ali. In my own way. There was just one thing I loved more.” 

My throat started to ache. “What was that?” I already knew the answer, I just needed her to say it. She turned back to me and smiled. 

“Chaos.” She leaned her head on the door frame like she was telling me her crush in middle school. She wasn't my sister when she said it. I watched her become A in front of me. I watched her put her mask on as she walked out.