Chapter 8
Stephen was trying to meditate or had been before Soul had directed his attention to the mangled mess that was currently his soul. Soul's orange threads were still woven in it, holding it together, and binding him to his flesh. He wasn't leaving his body anytime soon.
It was probably for the best. His soul ached, a burning thing that translated into pain everywhere in his physical body. It would undoubtedly be worse if he was on the Astral plane.
Look. Soul said, metaphorically gesturing to a large void covered in orange thread. At the edges.
He focused on it. The edges of the void were marked by shifting colors which seemed to be taking over the dark. He got the impression of something starting to close.
Is that good?
Yes, Soul replied. Very good. You are healing.
It didn't feel like he was. He could still see the voids that Soul's threads were holding shut. The burning ache never ebbed and often, he found himself pausing and reaching for his chest as the burning tried to spill out of it. But Soul was the expert here so it must be true. Warm orange curled around him, feeling almost like a hug. He'd been getting a lot of those lately. It was nice, but he could do with out the crying bit that preceded it.
You are healing. Soul said again.
Intellectually, he knew it was part of the process. An infected wound had to be drained before it could begin healing after all. That didn't mean he had to like it.
He let the image fall away, exhaled, and opened his eyes. His knees ached. He'd been sitting for too long. The air had warmed, the chill gone as the sun rose. While the courtyard was currently empty, it wouldn't stay that way for long. He should go before the apprentices came in for their lessons.
He got to his feet, stretching, and felt his joints pop. He definitely needed to start doing his exercise routine again. He'd add it to the list of all the other things he should pick back up, like magic.
Ever since he woke up in the hospital with his hands freshly damaged, he hadn't tried. At first, the thought hadn't even crossed his mind. He had been too busy starting physical therapy and trying to get his life in some sort of order. Then, it was because he hadn't wanted to draw attention...and he wasn't sure if he still could. He still wasn't sure of that actually. But, Soul said he was healing so it was probably okay to try.
Something small. Soul said, agreeably.
Small, huh.
He thought through all the spells he knew. Most of them weren't small. He needed something simple to cast while using as little power as possible...he could try a portal. If he set up the portal to draw from the dimensional energy around him, the energy drain on him should be small enough. Yes, that should work. The portal spell was the first one he'd learned. He could probably do it in his sleep if he had to.
He had time too. The apprentices wouldn't be here for a while and he, currently, wasn't expected to attend any lessons. He could make a quick portal to test his skills and make sure his soul could handle it.
He took out Wong's spare sling ring from his pocket and slid it on. He knew it was Wong's because it had been on Wong's desk. He had taken it without thinking.
The weight irritated his fingers. Wong's sling ring was larger and slightly heavier than his. He'd have to make sure it didn't fall off. It was bad enough that he lost his own rings; he'd never hear the end of it if he managed to lose Wong's. Even if it was only a spare.
He made the portal with his other hand. It came easily now and he remembered a time when it hadn't, when he was so desperate to find logic in the method that only being in mortal danger had made it work. It had been when he was so close to giving up that the portal had finally formed and he was able to stumble back into Kamar-Taj's courtyard; the same one he was in currently.
Perhaps it was the remembering or perhaps it was the view of the surrounding mountains, whatever it was, the portal opened onto a familiar ledge on Mount Everest.
Later, Stephen would try to figure out why he did what he did and what he had been thinking at the time. But now, the portal opened and he stepped through into the frigid cold and harsh winds and onto the snowy surface of the mountain. Immediately, the portal snapped shut behind him.
Turning, he stared at the now-empty space for a few seconds before black spots started to speckle his vision. Opening the portal hadn't felt difficult in the moment, but he was certainly feeling the backlash now. The world tilted, went wobbly around him, and he just barely kept himself from falling.
He needed to make another portal. It should have been as easy as breathing, but the dimensional energy slipped away from every time he reached for it. The shaking of his hands worsened. Was the air getting thinner? There was a weight settling into his lungs as the the black spots started to grow. He couldn't feel his toes. The chill was sinking into his bones and he tried to reach for the dimensional energy again. He had to make the portal, he had to succeed. Failure was not an option. If he stayed here any longer he'd make people, Wong, worry.
Sparks flickered at his fingers before the connection slipped away again. He tried again and again. How long had he been here? Not long enough to for it to turn severe. He was still shivering, though his hands did have a blue tinge to them.
He blinked more black spots out of his eyes. He couldn't stay here. He had to get back. There were things he needed to do. Dormammu would be coming and already they'd lost time. They needed to do something with the stones too. Thanos would find them. By this point, he most likely had a couple already. They needed to plan, prepare. He needed to talk to Morgan again and get things started. He'd already wasted a few days with the crying. He had to get back. He couldn't waste any more time, couldn't fail this universe too.
There was a feeling of aggravation that didn't quite feel like it was his. He ignored it. It wasn't important at the moment.
He reached for the dimensional connection again and touched something deeper, something that had always been there but had just now come into focus. For a moment, he was very aware of the space around him, his position on the mountain, the sky stretching out above him. He let it go, physically stumbling backwards and slicing his palm open on the edge of a rock as he caught himself. It didn't hurt and part of him was aware enough to realize he was in trouble.
Had that been Space?
Originally, he had been the most familiar with Time. Then, he'd become intimately familiar with Soul. Mind's presence was supporting him. He could feel it gently nudge his thoughts down less darker paths, though that nudging had let up quite a bit now that he was at Kamar-Taj. Reality had been ever-present since the beginning, when he had woken up in the hospital to one of the worst moments of his life, and he'd barely felt Power at all. He'd never felt Space's power until now.
I was wondering if you'd remember me. Space said. It sounded a little disgruntled.
Sorry?
Look, Space said, we really appreciate you not using us -
But, he was. Soul was holding him together. Reality, from what he understood, was allowing him to stay in this universe without causing an incursion.
And you aren't making them do that, Space interrupted. They're doing that because they want to.
Why? What would they even want with someone like him? Why had they even said yes in the first place? Why did they want him? He'd failed to hold the universe together. They had to be upset with him. Why were they still sticking with him? They could go anywhere, with anyone. Why were they staying?
Space floated out of his pocket to hover in front of him, glowing brightly. He stared at it, startled out of his spiraling thoughts.
We're getting off topic. The point is that in this situation, you're being really stupid in not using me.
He hadn't even considered it. He'd been reaching and reaching for the familiar feeling of the dimensional energy around him and had been failing. Would using Space's energy be any different?
He had managed to grasp it for a moment. He hadn't even managed that with the dimensional energy.
You could have held the connection if you hadn't let it go out of surprise, Space said. You're ours; of course we'd permit you to use our power.
There was a depth to those words that he didn't understand. Already his mind was starting to feel sluggish. Time was stretching out between blinks. His shivers were slowing.
Space sighed. I guess you can practice another time. Pay attention now.
He focused on Space, on the feeling of the space around him, and the distant space that felt like Kamar-Taj. A blue thread linked them together, drew them closer until they were touching and he could see a courtyard in front of him. There were a few apprentices settled in a corner, pouring over a bunch of papers. He took a step and passed through a pane of blue.
He found himself on dry stone and shivering violently. Space was nowhere to be seen, but its presence was all around him, slowly starting to fade into the background.
Still with you, Space said as he sank to the ground. Spots ate at his vision and he took a few deep breaths. His stomach twisted and he swallowed down saliva.
Do not throw up on me. Space said.
"You're not even here," he muttered and caught an apprentice glancing his way.
I am everywhere.
Semantics.
He shifted to look at the cut on his right hand. It was bleeding sluggishly, but didn't look too deep. It still didn't hurt, but it would soon enough. He should probably get up and go bandage it, but the ground was comfortable. He was in a patch of sun too. It's warmth slowly seeped into him. Maybe he could try meditating again? He might be able to do it properly this time barring any further interruptions.
It was at this moment that one of the apprentices approached him.