Prologue
There was something so delicate about her. Something so entrancing about the way she did things, the way she carried herself, the way she worked... Then it turned to pure horror when I watched her become that person, the one I was afraid of her becoming. She wasn't used to the underground life all of us lived at the school, hell, I don't even know why she was transferred there to begin with. The school was one for delinquents, for troubled teenagers who needed a place to "redeem themselves." But the school was far from a good one, nobody got corrected because the school was just as corrupt as the students inside of it.
So many rings in rings, it was a hotspot for crime, and it was perfectly legal long as no one said a thing, and anyone who did try to speak up? They'd disappear without a trace. Nobody would question a thing. Most of the kids inside loved doing what they did and anyone who knew better knew to leave the school and find an actual one. Of course, we all took advantage of a place where we could be free in our mind and do what we wanted so long as we followed the rules, but we were different. My friend's and I were so close to getting out of it, of just staying till we graduated and instead of committing crimes we would actually try to better ourselves so seeing the new transfer kids who had nobody made us want to be good enough to protect them, and seeing as Tzuyu didn't speak my language but I spoke hers I figured helping her was a great goal of good.
But it was like we we're never made to work out, I don't know why, and I hate the never-ending feeling of the fact that I was always a reason for the end. Even if it's been years since our chapter ended, I'm still stuck with these feelings, though I love Tzuyu there will always be a piece of me that hates her. I will always hate Chou Tzuyu, it doesn't feel fair to say, it doesn't feel right to say that. It doesn't feel right to say that the whole reason I became what I was is because of one woman, was it really her fault? I don't know but I'm tired of the feeling she gave me, I'm angry that I've held onto these emotions for so long, I should've let go.
That's enough now. I can't let my feelings effect the real story of us, while one part of us was destructive and dangerous, there was another part of us that was so beautiful. We were hopelessly lost in a never-ending world of danger, guilt & desire. While we built each-other up and broke each-other down we also loved each-other with such intensity and passion that you could feel how real it was. All I wanted in life was her, and I had that, eventually ruining it. Whatever happened, my fault or not, I'm always going to be sorry for it, for the accident.
Whatever happens after I admit this, I hope that I can be with her at least for a little while.