Not a worthy hero
The days goes on the way they always do. Wake up 6am, groan in pain from the night before, make sure any wounds weren’t infected, get dressed, eat, ignore LYLA, ignore the 50 missed calls. Go to work, ignore coworkers, ignore Tyler. Try to go home, see some person doing a bad crime, having to stop them, getting injured, going home, eating, ignoring LYLA, ignoring the new 50 missed calls, have a shower, sleep. Repeat.
Miguel’s schedule didn’t have time anymore for anything but work, it was just work work work, he wanted to quit, he dreamt of quitting, he couldn’t, he just had to wait for Tyler to die, maybe he could throw him out a window from 100 flights of stairs up. He’d be too much like Tyler, a Stone if he did that though. He just wanted a break. He couldn’t.
If he had a break someone would do something stupid, someone would mess up his neat lab, sit in his seat, mess it up. They’d mess up his flow for weeks, and if that didn’t happen, his break would just be fighting criminals, he couldn’t not fight criminals, it was wrong not to. He’d feel too guilty, he’s spiderman, he needs to save people, he couldn’t save so many, couldn’t save Dana, he had to make up for that, if he stopped being spiderman, and someone died, it was his fault.
His mindset maybe over the past year got completely destroyed, he went from not caring about what people did, to having to make sure everyone wasn’t planning to do some crime that he would stop, he felt the need to walk to downtown, a place no where near his home to check on the people, he was partly loosing his mind. In a metaphorical sense.
All he wanted was to stop stressing, maybe he needed to get on some medication, but he didn’t trust the medications, it was made by big companies like alchemax, he didn’t want an alchemax drug, he already had an alchemax drug before and it ruined his entire life.
“1 Missed call: Gabriel O’Hara, Voice mail left, Read out loud?”
Miguel had just gotten home, he didn’t have time for these things, he was rummaging through the fridge for something quick to eat, it felt like a black eye was forming, his shoulders hurt, he didn’t want to deal with anything.
Gabriel had lost his mind a bit, a while ago, after Dana died, he had some severe Religious, end of world, manic epsiode, didn’t sleep for days, went missing and had to be found while Jennifer. Dana’s sister managed to pretend to be him as green goblin so perfectly it was scary, as it showed Gabriel would just confess to anything in his life in a confessional.
Everything that happened with Gabriel last made it hard for Miguel to talk to him, it was always hard to talk, but Miguel knew it was partly his fault, he couldn’t save Dana, he accidentally in ways got Gabriel involved with his spiderman work, of course Gabriel had a bad break.
Miguel usually ignored the amount of calls and messages Gabriel gave, but. This one was slightly different, it was one call, no messages, it’s weird coming from Gabriel.
“Play the voicemail LYLA”
He grabbed whatever he grabbed, some food, he didn’t even care to look, just got it. If it was in his fridge it meant he’d eat it anyways, walking over to the couch, sitting, watching as the voice call played.
“Hey Miguel, Gabriel here”
He knew Gabriel was there, LYLA always says the voice call is from him, and it always showed a holograph version of him.
“I know it’s you Gabriel.”
It’s the closest he’s gotten to talking to his brother again, talking to a holograph voice mail.
“I’m really worried for you Miguel, I know everything’s gone downhill, recently, but I just hoped we’d stay brothers? Just can you call me, I want to know I didn’t…mess up, and that you’re okay. Your my brother okay?”
The voice mail ended, leaving Miguel to his own thoughts. He should call Gabriel back, should see him.
But he was going to hurt Gabriel, that’s the only thing he was good at. He’s just glad Gabriel hadn’t shown up at his home to say this, maybe he had, maybe Miguel just hadn’t been home, but that’s good, as it means Gabriel didn’t have to see Miguel.
Miguel wanted to call Gabriel, see him, but with Miguel’s luck, with how he hurt people, Gabriel would end up dead, was it so wrong for him to ignore his brother out of love, out of a desperate need for him to stay alive. He was only keeping Gabriel safe. If Gabriel didn’t die, even if it was safe, Miguel would cause Gabriel to mentally break again, it’s what happened last time, he didn’t want Gabriel to suffer like that.
“Do you want to call or message him back, Miguel?”
“…no, LYLA, just…just leave it on read.”
He sighed, beginning to eat the food, it wasn’t good, it taste or feel good, like it could have been rotten, but he couldn’t care, he really couldn’t, he was on the verge of the end, who cared, it was better for everyone if he ate rotten food,maybe it’d speed up his rotting process so he leaves quicker, he knows that not how it works, but it comforting to pretend that is how it works.
He had a shower, the water turned a see-through red, he had been bleeding and didn’t realize, didn’t matter, it was a small injury and it’d heal. It always healed, he did have a headache though, he could take medication, medication for headaches weren’t made by alchemax, but he didn’t deserve that.
Once he was out of the shower, he looked to the time 12am, he’d be awake in less than 6 hours, he was barely getting the sleep he needed, though, it had always been like that.
He went to repeat the day's cycle, going to work. Wishing Tyler died when those weird sea-people attacked, getting mad because someone sat at his lab, a bit too mad, Tyler told him to go home early. That’s why he wanted Tyler dead right now, he didn’t want to go home.
“2 missed calls, 2 voice messages, 5 unread texts”
“I don’t care right now LYLA”
He packed up his things, walking home, he didn’t drive, and he didn’t want to take a taxi or bus. Not in the mood to have to communicate to others in anyway, putting his things down, and preparing his spiderman suit.
“You don’t usually start spiderman work until after 8pm Miguel”
“Because I’m usually at work, I’m starting early”
‘A break is best”
“You’re not programmed to be a therapy ai, you’re programmed to work for me LYLA, I don’t need advice”
He should have slept. He was lashing out, ignoring people. He was losing it more and more, he shouldn’t be doing spiderman work, he put pants and a jacket over his suit to hide it, keeping the mask down, making the suit look like a tight turtleneck.
Heading into the streets, downtown. watching, waiting, he was going to do hero work even if he shouldn’t, it was Selfish to do anything else.
It was..maybe an hour later
“1 missed called”
“No voicemail?”
“No voicemail.”
“…who is it from.”
“Gabriel, do you want to call-“
“No. Silence mode, LYLA”
“Silence mode is activated.”
He leaned on railing, on a bridge, it looked over some of downtown, busy, no crime, not yet, he expected more crime, specially considering how destroyed things had gotten after the massive attacks, everyone was desperate…but then again why would he attack innocent people trying to survive, that’s more of a police thing. He was doing a police thing. Looking for basically innocent, that was evil of him, he was derailing.
“A-“
“LYLA I said silence”
“Alarm going off. Miguel”
“…what alarm”
“Lunch break alarm.”
“…why wouldn’t you auto turn that off, that’s for lunch break, I’m not at work, I don’t need to do that, I only have an alarm as it’s mandatory at work, turn the alarm off”
“Alarm turned off”
It was getting annoying, Miguel didn’t want to listen to LYLA or eat. He needed to focus on something important, helping people.
His stomach rumbled, he was hungry, he needed food, but if he grabbed food, then something bad would happen, someone would stab someone then run, he’d not catch them, or someone would kidnap a child, he wouldn’t save them. He couldn’t be useless.
Why was everything so hard