Hello Erik
2 months after Cuba
Dearest Erik,
Hello old friend, I know you will never read these letters, and yet here I am sitting at my desk writing them for you. Maybe it’s so I can tell you my thoughts even though you aren’t here, and never will be.
To get to the point, I am angry. You betrayed me, you betrayed our family. I thought we’d be together, raising a school of mutants until we both crumbled over in age. It seems our motives were different. I am such a fool for letting myself love you, as it now seems that you’ve disappeared. I can’t feel your mind, do you wear that stupid helmet? You shouldn’t, not because it means I can’t read your mind (although feeling it is a comfort), it means I can’t see your eyes so clearly. I said goodbye to empty holes, not knowing if you’d suddenly changed or that this had been you all along.
I fear this has been you all along. I know we never truly talked about what we wanted to achieve, I only caught glimpses of your inner thoughts and feelings. From the start I knew you had murderous intentions, but between you and I, I was delusional and thought I could change you. I thought our love could change things. Serenity, I thought I could be your serenity. You won’t have found it, hunting down the humans who you think have done you wrong. I know it didn’t fix your pain and suffering when you killed Shaw. I hope you will find comfort in your new friends. Please be kind, I know you can be, I know you are kind.
You won’t be worrying about me, but everyone here is devastated that you have left us, we are grieving you and Raven. I’ve found Alex pacing the grounds in anger about the whole situation. He has always had anger issues, but together we’ve found a way to control it. He has a blast area, where when he needs to, he can let loose without disrupting anyone or setting anything on fire. Hank is happy to bury himself in his work. I feel like he needs to give himself a break, all he does is work. He has tried to find a way to cure my back but to no avail so far. I hope he does. The house feels so… inaccessible. I can’t even go up to my room. I can’t reach the kitchen counters. I feel so powerless all of the time. Anyway, Sean is reasonably happy to lock himself in his room. I’ve tried to get him out, but as I can’t go upstairs, I haven’t really made much progress. Maybe one day, when there are ramps and such.
This letter is more for my sake than for yours. It will never get to you, you will never see the tears or the agony it takes to wake up in the morning. You are not a part of my life. Maybe this is a reminder, maybe one day I’ll burn this. I’ll wipe you from my memory so I don’t have to remember all of the good times we had. I know you can remember them, and wish that in your heart, you know this is your home. Here, you will always be loved and protected. I hope you still think of me fondly, because even through the anger I hold for you, I do think of our times together as unreachable happiness.
Stay safe, please, I can’t protect you from here, especially because I don’t even know where you are. Don’t get into trouble, don’t be stupid. Please don’t be stupid, I want to be mourning the loss of our love, not your death. If I wake up one day and see “Magneto killed” on the newspaper headlines I will be more angry than I am now. I will literally come and find your body, and make you wake up again, I don’t care what it takes.
Goodnight dear friend, I will always be here for you as long as I am alive,
Charles.
***
Alex turned the corner into the kitchen for a 3am snack and saw that Charles’ office door was open. He thought it was strange Charles was still awake, he never stayed up past 11, now that he couldn’t walk and even the slightest movement was difficult. He snuck into the office, expecting to see Charles’ nose buried under genetics papers and scribbling down into the hundreds of notepads that littered the floor. Instead, Alex found a snoring telepath, laying over a pile of papers. He looked like he was in a deep sleep, which Alex didn’t want to disturb, knowing it was few and far between that Charles would get a good night's sleep.
Glancing over, Alex thought they were genetic papers. But, he saw something like “old friend”, and knew immediately it was something about Erik. Alex thought it was sweet, but he didn’t want to disrespect Charles’ privacy, so he didn’t investigate further, instead he got the fluffiest blanket out the cupboard by the untouched chess table and wrapped it around Charles’ shoulders. He closed the curtains, blocking out the creepy darkness that was the mansion grounds at night. Finally, Alex turned out the lamp on the desk and took the empty coffee mug to wash it up. He’d become surprisingly responsible in the last few months, mainly because looking after Charles in his saddened state and making sure Sean didn’t overdose took more than a teenager.
Returning to the kitchen, Alex rummaged around and found the coffee powder. He tried not to make much noise, not wanting to wake Charles up, but accidentally whacked the coffee machine with the mug. He spun around to the office, and heard a grunt but saw nothing else. He smiled to himself, pleased he didn’t wake anyone. Taking the coffee upstairs, to bed, he noticed the dust collecting on the stairs. He’d have to clean that soon. The floorboards were creaky, the doors didn’t open up all the way and the lights flickered. Alex would have to get Hank to help him with the growing list of broken things.
He saw Charles’ room at the end of the hallway, cobwebs around the hinges, nobody had gone in since Cuba. Charles slept downstairs in the room adjoining the study. Maybe they should get a dog, or a cat. Something to keep Charles company whilst he grieved Erik’s disappearance. Turning away, Alex opened his door, and almost collapsed into bed, without even thinking of the coffee in his hand, which nearly (but didn’t) fall over. Today's day was done, and Charles was sleeping restfully - hopefully.
He read his comic books, and fell asleep eyes closing to the likes of Spiderman and Captain America. Heroes Alex was trying to be like.