What is it about you?

Shit. Shit. Shit.

How the hell are they going to pull this off? Things are already so awkward and complicated between them and now this? Wade watched Logan wear into the floor as he placed back and forth in the cramped office room. Their eyes briefly met and they can both see the slight terror in each other's eyes. Wade groans and looks away, pressing a hand to his forehead. “Ugh, what kind of situation is this anyway?! Curse the author for their ‘originality.’ Actually strike that. I would like to get laid in this fanfic and judging by the tags I'm definitely-"

"Wade.” Logan grunted out rubbing a hand over his face. “Let me just get this straight. There are other us's and they're on their way right now to take our places.” Wade nodded suddenly remembering that things are meant to be awkward between the two of them. He had gotten too comfortable being around Logan again. He missed him. “And the other us's are…” He trailed off then cleared his throat. “Yeah.” Wade spoke, his voice higher than usual. “Okay. We need a game plan snookums. You have to learn how to be a lover in about a minute and half.” Logan let out a snarky laugh. “Ah bub. I have about two centuries of experience.” Wade couldn't resist an eye roll. Logan shot him a look that said he knew and would absolutely stab him if he dared to do it again. “Well. It's either that or learning how to be nice to me, which is not happening in less than two minutes.” Wade grumbled. “Well you're wasting precious fucking time bitchin’ at me.” He growled. “Ah! Proving my point!” Wade threw up an accusatory finger. Logan growled, raising his fist ready to decapitate him.

Muffled cries from outside the door stopped them. They were out of time. Wade cocked his head to the side looking back to Logan. “You go right. We infiltrate once they separate.” He stated. Logan gave him a quick nod. And they were ready. All that emotional constipation fizzled into white noise. They were nothing but Deadpool and Wolverine. And they were determined as hell to be the only ones.

__________

“Can you really believe we're doing this Lo?” Wade beamed, his mask lifted above his mouth. Logan gave him a slight smile back. He could believe it. They were getting everything they deserved. He was fucking ready to face it head on with Wade Wilson. He reached out to cup his cheek and to quickly press his lips to his. Wade happily sighed, bringing his arms to wrap around Logan's neck pressing them closer together. A hand on his chest stopped him from his usual ravaging of the other man. Wade took a second to pull away, sneaking in one final kiss. “Mmm we have a job to finish but we are most definitely having filthy sex later.” He whispered.

Wade and Logan gawked at the two from their separate hiding places. (Psst. Author. It's getting way too confusing for the reader to understand who's who. Let's just call the other ones Wade² and Logan² :3 - Deadpool (p.s please let me get laid)) They looked on to see that Wade² and Logan² decided to split up. They took it as their cue. Now Wade was following behind Logan². He had to admit that he was jealous of the other him. Just seeing them interact back there made him want to shoot himself. He wasn't sure where Logan² was heading but he managed to stay hot on his trail. He took sharp twists and turns throughout the infinite office. Wade saw his yellow cowl enter some sort of closet so he quickly followed. He had it all planned out. He would go in, making some sort of excuse about missing him and offering the chance to squeeze in a quickie since…he.. missed him so much. Fuck. He's got this. Definitely.

He slips into the closet and shuts the door behind him. It's pitch black. He suddenly feels the edges of claws press into his throat but not penetrating. *wink wink* He smiles and purrs, “it's just me Lo.” He eases his way into the other one's space with the familiar nickname. He hears a huff of breath and then a husky rumble, “thought you were one of them.” He feels the claws drop from his skin. “What're you doing here?” Logan² asked. Wade deliberately kept his voice to an aroused murmur. “Well. You know I have a thing for seeing you in action and violating innocent enclosed areas with messy fucking.” He heard a slight breathy chuckle, “you have a thing for everything. But I'm down for some violating, red.” Wade's knees almost buckled at the delicious downright sinful tone of his voice. Logan surged forward, capturing Wade's lips.

Wade can hardly suppress a moan as their bodies slot together perfectly. Each of them fitting a knee against the other's crotch, groaning at the pleasuring pressure. Wade tangles his fingers into Logan's hair. This feels so familiar he thinks. It's exactly how it was when Logan had kissed him. Except this time he was being practically devoured. Logan was licking, kissing, and biting like an animal. Wade's mind was hazy with pleasure as he desperately fought to keep his composure even though every fucking atom in his very being desperately wanted to submit. He wasn't even aware of the embarrassing sounds escaping his mouth until Logan reached to grab a handful of his ass and he mewled sinfully. He wanted Logan. Everything in his mind was focused entirely on the man before him. God his body was aching to be filled.

Logan pulled away as they both caught their breaths. Wade allowed his mind to clear and to focus on the task at hand. He had to kill him. As much as he's aching to continue, he brandishes his signature handgun and points it against Logan²’s head. He feels him freeze. Wade lets out a shaky sigh, “look it's not you. It's me. I really prefer being the one to live in my own fucking universe with my own emotionally constipated partner. Although I could settle for one rough night with the both of you.”

“Wade” Logan slays sternly. “They played us.” Wade falters. The recent events speed through his mind in an instant. The quick turns. How Logan was somehow managing to quickly take his hood on and off. How familiar the kiss felt. Holy shit. They fucking played us. “I-” Wade squeaks out at a loss for words. A blinding light illuminates the both of them as the closet door is suddenly opened. “Well, peanut. We had a good run.” Wade smiled as a pair of fists collided with their skulls, rendering them unconscious.