Gamenight
John’s heart pounded in his ears like a wrecking crew at 2am. He could barely hear his own thoughts. He lifted a shaky hand to Scott’s door, knocking as heavy as he could. The loud thunk pierced his ears with the unexpected volume. Okay, maybe that was too heavy.
The door swung open and John was met with Logan’s annoyed face, his eyebrow quirked, daring John to interrupt. John had expected Scott to answer, maybe even Jean, but Logan? What the hell was the Wolverine doing in Scott and Jeans room at 8pm in his underwear? “Um…could I talk to Scott please?” John tried to look anywhere but his bright yellow boxers, but it was proving very difficult.
Logan simply grunted and opened the door fully for John to spot Scott. Scott sat in bed next to Jean, a folder in his hand propped for them to both read. He looked up from his book to catch John’s eyes. His expression turned concerned, and he climbed out of bed, handing Jean the document. He motioned for Logan to move and stepped outside the room, closing the door behind him. “What’s up?”
John’s muscles ached at him until he finally gave in to his impulses. He grabbed his lighter from his pocket and absentmindedly flipped it open and closed. “It’s about Bobby.” He said. “Can we talk somewhere…” John looked around the hallway. “-a little more isolated?”
Scott motioned for John to follow him before walking off. He led John to the study and flicked on one of the stained glass lamps. “What’s wrong? Is he okay? I shouldn’t have given him that file.” Scott clenched his fists as he sat in a chair.
John plopped on the loveseat across from Scott, laying down and propping his feet on the armrest. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but Bobby misses his family. I think we should throw him a gamenight, show him that he still has a family, even if it’s not the one he lost.”
Scott stayed silent for a moment, his expressionless stare increasing John’s fidgety bones. John sat up instinctively, uncomfortable with the impossible-to-gauge silence. Scott finally spoke, his voice cracking slightly. Was he about to cry? “I never thought I would feel this way, but I’m glad Bobby has you. What night were you thinking?”
John’s discomfort only grew, but in a completely different way. He no longer felt the need to run for his physical safety, but the show of emotion, whether intentional or not, had John wanting to run for the hills. “Maybe this saturday?”
Scott nodded. “Okay. We’ll let him pick the game. Is there anyone specific you want there? Anyone you think shouldn’t be there?”
John really hadn’t thought that deep about it, but Scott had a point. If this was to make Bobby feel loved, it would have to include very specific people. “I kinda thought you might be able to help me figure that out.” He grit his teeth, but forced the words out anyway. “You know him better than anyone.”
“Okay. I think he would want Hank, Jean, Rogue, Kitty, Warren, Johnny, you obviously, and Alex. He wouldn’t mind Evan, Ororo, Charles, Remy, Piotr, Laura, or any other X-man really, but maybe we don’t invite the Brotherhood?” Scott leaned forward. “I don’t mean to be rude, and I think we’ve all enjoyed working together, but if the point is to make him feel loved…”
“Then he needs to feel safe.” John finished. “I get it. I’m not upset about that. Maybe we just keep it to his close group, the 1st and 2nd class plus Kitty, Rogue, and Johnny.”
“Should we invite the professor?”
John took a deep breath in, rolling his eyes. “Yes. He’s practically Bobby’s dad.” He grumbled.
Scott chuckled at John’s discontent, and there was something odd but tranquil about coexisting with Scott Summers for Bobby’s sake. John still didn’t like him, but maybe he wasn’t a bad guy? Maybe they were just incompatible personalities. John had earned a semblance of respect for him since he extracted the team from the mansion, and that respect had only grown since the abduction.
“Hey.” John looked away from Scott, staring at the ground. “I wanted to thank you for helping Erik at Trask’s headquarters. You didn’t have to do it, but you did.”
“It was nothing, really. I would’ve done it for any one of them.” God John hated that self-righteous better-than-you attitude. He was no better than John because he had a death wish that happened to save others in the process.
“Can I ask you something?” Scott’s voice was oddly quiet, like he almost didn’t want to say it.
“Shoot.” John was curious, he’d bite.
“Do you think I did the right thing back there? Not when we were captured. I mean when I destroyed the place.”
John stared at Scott for a moment, unsure of how to answer, but his silence left room for Scott to continue, to spiral in his anxiety. “I just keep beating myself up for doing exactly what Magneto would have and questioning if I made the right choice. I know what I did was right, but how can it be right if it’s what Magneto would have chosen? I’ve defied the professor so many times in the last week that I’m worried I’m becoming Magneto.”
“Is that really such a bad thing?” John leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms and watching Scott’s face closely. Why was he telling John all of this? They weren’t close. They didn’t like each other. John wasn’t even trustworthy with this information.
“He’s a terrorist.” Scott replied.
It hit John in the face like a volleyball to the nose. Oh. He wanted to roll his eyes, but he restrained himself. “Look. You know what you did was right, otherwise, you wouldn’t be talking to me about it. You came to me so that I would tell you that Magneto’s not so bad to ease your guilty conscience, but I’m not gonna do that. What you wanna hear is what you already know, so you’re just gonna have to accept that part of yourself that’s willing to do whatever it takes to protect those you care about. Suck it up and stop pretending to think what you did was wrong because it made your precious professor upset at you.”
“You’re a really big asshole, did you now that?”
“Yep.” John raised his eyebrows at Scott, daring him to argue, daring him to make a move, to fight back. But Scott was surprisingly more mature than John expected.
“You have a really awful way with people, but you’re right. I’m sorry I bothered you with this. I guess I just need some practice acting on behalf of myself without permission. You know where I am if you need any help with the gamenight. I’ll let Jean and Alex know it’s happening which obviously means Hank will find out. If you need me to tell Warren and Charles, I can do that. I’ll let you tell Kitty, Johnny, and Rogue.”
Scott stood up and exited the lounge and John’s heart settled. What the fuck just happened? Well, at least now he can tell Bobby he’s spent time trying to bond with Scott.
A few days passed and Saturday finally arrived. John had been dragged along to a solo demonstration with the rest of Team Anarchy. It had ended badly and John had run off, abandoning his team in a moment of panic. Kitty and Rogue gave him the silent treatment after that, shooting him angry glares every few minutes.
John burst through his bedroom door, flinging himself on his bed. “Are you okay?” Bobby peeked his head in from the bathroom. His face was curious and concerned. His eyes wide, and his lips slightly parted. His hair was wet, his skin pink.
John grumbled an incoherent sentence into the mattress and Bobby disappeared back into the bathroom. When he reappeared, he rubbed a towel against his hair, his clothes clinging to his damp body. “You’re gonna have to repeat that.” He snarked.
John rolled his eyes and propped his head up to look at Bobby. “I said I fucked everything up, you dipshit.”
“Hey, don’t get mad at me because you can’t enunciate.” Bobby threw his hands up.
His smile fell to a more serious expression and he sat on the bed next to John, placing a hand on his shoulder. “What happened?”
John’s head screamed at him not to answer, to hide his true self from Bobby, but if he didn’t tell him, it would come from Rogue or Kitty, and he didn’t want him finding out from one of them. At least, if he was the one to tell Bobby, he could watch his face as he rejected him, he could hold that hatred in his heart to motivate his actions going forward. “MRD showed up. Lance got hurt. I ran.” John had never been good at explaining things, especially when everything he loved was on the line.
Bobby crossed his legs in front of him, leaning against the wall. “So you ran. It looked to me like everyone came home. So why does it matter that you ran?”
“Everyone’s mad at me cause I abandoned them. They can’t count on me.” John buried his face in the blankets. “You can’t count on me.”
Bobby laughed, a beautiful chorus that lit John’s insides alight with relief and anger. Why did Bobby find this funny? This wasn’t funny! He shouldn’t be with John, he’s better than John. “You don’t know me, Bobby. I’m not a hero like you. I won’t run into a burning building to save you.” Okay, that might have been a poor choice of words. John most definitely would run into a burning building to save Bobby, but that was only because there was no real danger to him. He ran into Trask's base to save Bobby and Erik because they had enough mutants with them it didn’t feel like a threat. He stayed to attack the MRD and police at the courthouse because he wasn’t saving anyone, he was just causing chaos until everyone was gone, then he ran with the rest of his team.
Bobby snorted. John had saved him every time that it had mattered, even though he didn’t need to. Bobby didn’t care about that stuff, he could take care of himself. “I’ve always known who you are, St. John, and still love you. I don’t need you to rush in and save me whenever I’m in trouble. I have an entire family for that. Take care of yourself, it gives me one less thing to have to worry about.”
John shot his head up to stare at Bobby’s face, his eyes wide. “I thought you wanted me to be like you? To be an X-Man.”
Bobby laughed. “I really don’t care, John; as long as you’re not hurting people. Maybe when we were younger and my worldview was smaller I wanted you to be an X-Man with me, but…I’ve seen how you can help people without being a hero. What you’ve been doing is enough. I guess disruption can be just as powerful as heroics, as long as it’s done wisely.”
John’s pounding heart subsided and his tensing muscles relaxed. He smiled at Bobby and sat up. He grabbed the back of Bobby’s neck. “Warning.” He leaned in and kissed his-whatever they were.
Bobby smiled into the kiss, giggling against John until he had to pull away to laugh. “I’m sorry.” He said. “It’s just…” He let out another chuckle. “You don’t have to warn me anymore. You can kiss me whenever you want now.”
“No.” John shook his head, giving Bobby the most concerned look he could muster, fighting his face muscles to keep a smile from ruining his response. “You told me to never kiss you without warning again. I would never disrespect your wishes like that.”
Bobby smacked John on the arm but leaned in to steal a proper kiss from the man. He practically tackled John onto his pillow when John wrapped his arms around Bobby’s waist. “Oh fuck!” John’s legs contorted under him awkwardly until he shifted, holding all of Bobby’s weight. “You aren’t making this easy for me, are you?” He gave Bobby another peck.
“Nope.” Bobby buried his face in John’s neck breathing out heavily. “We should go downstairs. Scott just finished setting the room up for games.”
John’s heart spiked. “How the fuck do you know-” Jean. Of course she was talking to Bobby in his head. “Who told you?” John couldn’t fight his disappointment. He had wanted to tell Bobby about gamenight. He wanted to see Bobby’s face light up. After all, it had been his idea.
“Scott.” Bobby beamed at John and jealousy swirled in John’s stomach. “Thank you.” Bobby leaned in and kissed John once more, a longer, heavier kiss than the innocent pecks he had been landing earlier. John’s heart melted all the jealousy away, and he realized Scott didn’t really matter anymore. He had Bobby, not Scott. Why was he fighting a war with a married guy that didn’t even know he was fighting?
“Come on! Let’s go play charades! I requested it first!” Bobby shot out of bed, pulling John along with him.
Rogue and Kitty finally spoke to John again, although irritated, until Bobby shot them death glares and Scott took them aside. John couldn’t help but listen in to the hushed conversation. After Scott had reminded the women that tonight was about bringing everyone together for Bobby, the two feigned pleasantries, although John could still feel the tension.
Hank and Alex teamed up together, Jean and Scott, Rogue and Kitty, Warren and Johnny, and Bobby had immediately claimed John. Charles was late and decided to sit out of charades, claiming to be too talented at it that it would be unfair to the others.
Hank was a terrible guesser, although he was great at miming geologic occurrences that Alex guessed immediately, keeping them in the second slot. Scott was terrible at acting, but Bobby assumed that his mental connection with Jean kept them in the winning slot. Johnny and Warren knew nothing about each other, but they still managed to get a few points. Rogue and Kitty were losing and they were miserable about it. And Scott was tasked with keeping John and Bobby from using their powers to win.
It was no surprise when Scott and Jean won, so the next game Bobby chose was much harder for a telepath to beat, especially when she was forced to be on the opposite team as her linked husband. That immediately turned a disadvantage into an advantage for Bobby’s team.
“Hey, that’s cheating! You’re cheating!” Rogue accused Jean from across the table.
“No, I’m not! I’m telling you, Scott’s the murderer. I don’t need my powers to know his tells. Just look at him!” Jean motioned toward her husband. “It’s practically written on his face!” But all Bobby could see was a stoic expression. He trusted her though.
“Yeah, it’s for sure Scott. Scott, show us your card. Are you the murderer?”
“Yeah, I agree.” Kitty joined in.
Once their team all agreed Scott smiled an evil smile that unnerved John. Okay, maybe Scott could be slightly intimidating. Scott flipped his card over, revealing him as the murderer. Dammit! John was positive that Kitty was Bobby’s team’s killer but he hadn’t convinced his team enough to all concur and vote.
“I told you!” Jean pointed at Scott, jumping up to do a victory dance with Kitty.
“Perhaps we should play a game of luck next?” Charles suggested. “Or I can borrow Erik’s helmet to place on Jean if you’d rather?” He joked.
The night was fun and filled with laughter. John’s earlier misstep felt miles away by the end. Bobby was all smiles and giggles, his face bright red, his eyes sparkling blue. Tonight was a good night, and while it couldn’t make up for all of the turmoil in the world recently, it kept their spirits alive and reminded them that no matter how much dehumanization they faced, they could never lose their humanity.