Closer than Expected
The soft clatter of the train rolling along the tracks was the first thing Logan registered as he stirred from a light doze. Blinking his eyes open, he found himself staring at the window, where the snow outside continued to fall thick and steady, turning the world into an endless blur of white.
He shifted in his seat, feeling a warmth against his side that hadn’t been there before. Glancing down, Logan realized that Kurt had fallen into a deeper sleep at some point and was now resting his head against Logan’s shoulder.
The sight made Logan pause. Kurt’s usually sharp features, hidden beneath the image inducer, were softened in sleep, his breathing steady, his body relaxed against Logan’s. It was rare to see Kurt so at ease. Logan didn’t move, reluctant to disturb him, something about the closeness was... different.
Logan had shared small spaces with Kurt countless times—cramped mission transports and crowded campfires—but this felt more intimate. The weight of Kurt’s head on his shoulder, the quiet between them, the subtle trust in the way Kurt leaned into him—it all stirred something unfamiliar in Logan’s chest.
He let out a quiet breath, trying not to wake Kurt, but Kurt stirred anyways, his head lifting groggily as he blinked the sleep from his eyes.
“Sorry,” Kurt mumbled, sitting up quickly and rubbing at his eyes. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”
Logan shook his head, keeping his tone casual. “No big deal, elf. You were out cold.”
Kurt gave a sheepish smile, still blinking slowly as he stretched, his tail—hidden under the image inducer’s illusion—giving a twitch beneath his coat. “I guess I was more tired than I thought.”
Logan huffed softly, shifting in his seat to stretch out his legs. “Long ride. Doesn’t help that this damn train feels like a furnace.”
Kurt chuckled quietly, his yellow eyes—hidden by the inducer’s illusion of normal human eyes—flashing with warmth. He glanced out the window, watching the snow fall in thick, lazy flakes, his expression pensive. “It reminds me of home- the winter, I mean.”
Logan grunted in acknowledgment. “In Germany?”
“Ja. Bavaria.” Kurt’s voice softened with nostalgia. “We had long, cold winters, with snow like this. But it wasn’t so bad, it was peaceful.”
Logan studied him for a moment, then asked, “You ever back?”
Kurt hesitated, his fingers absentmindedly tracing a pattern on the armrest. “Not often. Too many memories there, and… well, you know how it is. Not everyone’s as accepting of mutants.”
Logan gave a low grunt, understanding all too well. He’d always found it hard to settle in one place for too long. Even when it wasn’t about being a mutant, it was about being... different. “Yeah. I get that.”
The train swayed slightly, the rhythmic clacking of the wheels continuing as they rolled through the frozen countryside. The silence between them felt different now, not uncomfortable, but still weightier somehow. Logan glanced at Kurt again, noticing the way he seemed to be lost in thought.
“You miss it?” Logan asked, breaking the quiet. “Being there, I mean.”
Kurt looked down at his hands, still wrapped in the illusion of normalcy. “Sometimes,” he admitted. “But there’s too much tied to it now. The people, the church... my past.” He sighed softly, turning his gaze back to the window. “I still pray for all of them, though.”
Logan raised an eyebrow, not surprised but curious. “You really still think someone’s up there listening?”
Kurt smiled faintly. “Ja, I do. It’s not about expecting answers all the time. It’s about... faith. Knowing that someone is, even if you don’t hear him.”
Logan scratched the back of his neck, shifting in his seat. He’d never been one for religion, but he knew it was important to Kurt. Always had been.
“You ever wonder why, though?” Logan asked, his voice quieter than before. “Why you keep at it? After everything?”
Kurt looked thoughtful, his brow furrowing slightly. “I wonder all the time. But that’s part of faith. You don’t always have answers. I believe because it gives me peace, and because I know there’s more to life than what we see.”
Logan let out a slow breath. “Never got how you manage to keep that attitude. All the stuff we’ve seen, the fights, the messes... and you’re still sittin here talkin’ about faith.”
Kurt smiled gently. “I’ve had to work hard to keep it. But it helps me make sense of the world. Otherwise, it is too... chaotic.” His voice softened, and he turned back to Logan, his expression almost shy. “I’m not always good with chaos.”
Logan tilted his head slightly, watching Kurt more closely now. “What do you mean by that?”
Kurt’s tail flicked beneath the illusion again, a telltale sign of his nervousness. “I don’t know. I just… I like things to be clear. Structured. It’s why I stick to routines and habits, I guess.” He shrugged, his tone light, though Logan sensed something deeper. “It’s hard for me when things get unpredictable. Makes it harder to focus.”
Logan leaned back slightly, taking in Kurt’s words. He’d always noticed that Kurt had certain habits—small, repetitive actions that seemed to calm him. The way he sometimes counted under his breath, tapped his fingers and flapped his hands. It all started to make a bit more sense now.
“You ever talk to anyone about that?” Logan asked, his voice more careful than usual.
Kurt’s eyes flickered toward him, surprised by the question. “Not really. I’ve always just... managed it.”
Logan grunted, nodding. “Well, for what it’s worth, you’re doin’ alright. Doesn’t seem to slow you down.”
Kurt chuckled softly, his shoulders relaxing a bit. “Danke, Logan. That means more than you know.”
The train rattled again, its steady rhythm lulling them back into a comfortable silence. Logan shifted, crossing his arms over his chest, but this time, he didn’t mind the closeness between them. The warmth of Kurt’s presence was… steadying. Familiar.
The train continued on, its journey long but steady, carrying them closer to their destination—and closer to something else neither of them fully understood yet.