Chapter 4
Vic needs help. She’s hurting and she needs help and she doesn’t know where the fuck to go, because nobody’s exactly a big fan of Sabretooth, but things aren’t exactly looking great and she’s debating finding Weapon X again just for some fucking sense of purpose. She can’t go back there. It’ll kill her.
Birdy leaves a pamphlet for the Xavier School on the kitchen table.
…Logan’s there, at least. She could– she could try. To get some help. Find something to do. Find someone to be.
So she packs up and heads over, up to Westchester, and everyone is on-guard and she nearly gets blasted through the trees by Cyclops and does get her throat slashed by Logan and she lets herself be taken in and she explains herself to Xavier and nobody wants her around.
They let her stay after a week of discussion. Power dampener on, no going anywhere unsupervised, no being around the kids. They give her a room in an empty wing of the mansion and leave her mostly to her own devices, plus not-therapy with Jean Grey three times a week.
–
She tries talking to Logan and gets a claw to the gut for her efforts. “Go away,” He tells her, sharp and snarling and angry. “We don’t want you here. Back to your room.”
She lies on her bed and tries not to cry about it, because Logan’s not worth crying over, he’s not, but she wants her best friend back goddamnit and she doesn’t know if she can have him back.
–
She tries to talk to Logan and he fully ignores her, even though she’s sitting next to him. Jubilee makes a face and tells her that he’s Just like that, and Vic tries not to let it show that it gets to her.
Laura watches her with a completely unreadable expression, and turns away when Vic looks over.
–
Kids are playing basketball and Logan’s supervising, and Vic comes up to watch. Logan doesn’t look at her.
“Aren’t you teaching right now?” she asks, putting her hands in her pockets.
She doesn’t think Logan’s going to answer until he drops the whistle in his hand and puts his hands on his hips. “Too nice to be inside,” he says gruffly. “Havin’ a field day.”
Yes. Yes! He talked to her! This is great. This is progress. She’s getting her best friend back.
–
She winds up mentioning a thing or two, in the not-really-supposed-to-be-therapy with Jean.
“I’m a girl,” she says stiffly, not looking up at Jean. looks at her hands, picks at her claws. “I mean– I want to be one. Or I am one. Or whatever the… terminology is. I’m a woman. I like calling myself that. I don’t tell people it.”
“Are you worried people are going to see you differently if you talk about it?” Jean asks, and that makes Vic stop. Makes her think.
“I don’t know,” she says slowly. “I don’t– I don’t feel like it’s what people think I’m supposed’ta be. Y’know? I’m Sabretooth, the unkillable mercenary, enemy of Wolverine. Not… Vic, a queer.”
“You don’t have to be Sabretooth anymore,” Jean says softly. “That’s the point of this. You have the opportunity to just be Vic.”
Vic stares at her hands and opens her palm, dragging her claws against it. “I guess.”
“Do you have a different name you like?”
“Why don’t you just go into my brain and fish it out?” she snaps, and then falls quiet. Jean tips her head. “...Victoria.”
“Victoria,” she echoes. “That’s nice.”
—
She winds up talking to Ororo, too, and Jubilee insists on coming along on their trip to the mall. She skips along in front of them, occasionally begging them to take her into other stores along the way. Vic winds up paying– not that she minds, because Jubilee always looks positively thrilled about it.
Ororo laughs softly, when Jubilee drags Vic back out of the store and Vic’s holding Jubilee’s bag. “You’re not so bad,” she smiles, and Vic can’t help but smile back a little.
“People are staring,” she mutters to Ororo.
“They do that.”
Jubilee’s ahead of them, shooting off little sparks into the air. People are probably focusing on her and less the women behind her, but it still feels like the eyes are on her. It’s hard not to feel like the eyes aren’t on her.
“Come on,” Jubilee groans, grabbing Vic’s big hand and trying to drag her along. “Dress time! Skirts! We’re gonna get you so much cool stuff.”
Vic sighs, but lets Jubilee drag her into stores, lets her find her dresses and skirts and smear makeup on her wrists to check colors.
—
Back at home, she sits obediently and lets Jubilee do her makeup and Ororo plait her hair, now with the added presence of Laura draped over the chair on her phone. Jubilee picks out a dress for her to try on with the cheer of a fashion show, and Vic heads into the bathroom to put it on, and she heads back out and looks in the mirror.
“Oh.” She blinks at herself, softly surprised. “Wow.”
“You look great,” Jubilee says gleefully, throwing herself into a hug that Vic returns absentmindedly. “Doesn’t she look great, Logan?”
What.
Vic turns around to find Logan standing in the doorframe, beer in one hand, the other in his pocket. His hair is messy and unkempt, wind-blown like he just got back from somewhere, and he tips his head at her.
“You look good,” he says gruffly, and Vic knows it’s the best she’s going to get from him. “Miss…”
“Victoria.”
That gets a little smile, and he raises the bottle at her. “Victoria.”