Family Bonding Time™
It is an almost impossible task to get all members of the Wayne family in one place at one time.
If there isn't patrol, there's homework or extracurriculars. Or, in the case of select family members, there is a general reluctance to be anywhere near the rest of the family. These are all, Tim thinks, valid reasons to not all be in the same room. But unfortunately, Bruce and Alfred think differently.
It isn't a secret that everyone has no problem saying no to Bruce, some even take joy in it. But saying no to a seemingly reasonable request from Alfred? That’s basically a one-way ticket to H-E double hockey sticks (that is if they aren’t all headed downstairs anyway. Tim has long since accepted that the pearly gates probably won’t be opening for him. But that’s fine, he’s more of an obsidian than a pearl kind of guy anyway).
Despite grumbling and protests and guilt-tripping, (‘but what about the city Bruce, what will they do without us on patrol!’) Family Bonding Time™ was officially going ahead.
As Jason so eloquently worded it, “Batman says civilians can get fucked so we can all play cards”.
And get fucked they shall.
This occasion, as predictably rare as it is, requires some stipulations be put into place to maximise bonding and minimise the chance of grievous bodily injury (Bruce’s words).
The ‘Family Bonding Time™ Rules and Regulations’ were put in place for situations exactly like this one. But due to the rarity of the event actually happening, they have been used rather infrequently.
- Each person is required to greet or exchange at least one word with every other present person.
- One (1) activity that will not cause permanent injury to one or multiple parties must be completed.
- Attempting to leave ‘Family Bonding Time™’ early will result in Alfred being informed immediately and the full force of his disappointment being foisted upon the individual.
- Board games are encouraged, however any edition of Monopoly, ‘Triple Chess’, ‘No Numbers Uno’ and Tag are banned.
- Bets are highly frowned upon, but not banned.
The afternoon starts relatively smoothly, one by one person after person files into the manor. Some grumble more than others but still greet those around them as requested. Greetings range from enthusiastic hellos and hugs to a ‘hey’ thrown in another person's general direction, but still a roaring success thus far.
It’s not that they don't like each other, that’s not the case at all (for the most part). The personalities in the manor are… intense to say the least. Small groups mesh well together, and individuals mesh well together, but getting everybody in one place at one time is just asking for trouble. Tim has to admit, when it’s good, it’s incredible. Having everybody together when they’re actually getting along is like taking a deep breath after surfacing in the ocean. The personalities that violently grate on each other can also create such a fun dynamic that makes everyone want to stay for as long as possible. All previous conflict is forgotten for the sake of keeping the fun going for as long as possible.
Maybe not all conflict, but a good 80% for sure.
But then, inevitably, something is said or done that causes the mood to go from light to stifling and oh, look at that, it must be time for everyone to leave.
The family room, lovingly nicknamed ‘the den’, is the chosen venue for family bonding. Couches and loveseats sit in a loose semi-circle in front of the TV, deeply worn and comfortable from years of use. Decks of cards are dispersed neatly on the coffee table waiting to be used and, slowly but surely, the noise in the room increases as more filter in.
Tim finds his usual spot in the middle of one of the couches, Steph and Duke eventually making their way to either side of him. As Duke plonks down on one side of him, Steph throws herself bodily onto the cushion and Tim’s side, an ‘oof’ sound involuntarily leaving his mouth. He shoves her off with his shoulder, sending her gently into the armrest of the couch, the noise she lets out can only be described as pitiful.
“That hurts,” Steph swoons dramatically against the armrest, hand over her eyes to really sell it, “Not only would you hit a woman but you’d hit an injured one, foul behaviour if you ask me.”
“I didn’t hit you! If anything you hit me first with, like, your entire body.” Duke pipes up then, leaning forward to look around Tim at her.
“You’re injured? Where? How?” Steph moves her hand slightly off her face to glare at him
“Shut up Duke, I’m trying something.” She stage whispers before smacking the hand back down over her eyes “Oh I can see the light, this is it for me. The only thing that can save me is access to a trust fund from, I dunno, a mega-rich family that lives next door! If only there was one readily available to me!”
“You’re so dumb.” At Tim’s words, Steph sits up, slumping into the couch cushions.
“Worth a shot.”
Alfred's arrival to drop a tray of mismatched glasses and mugs brings more people into the room. The older man smiles warmly at everyone before taking his leave, just in time for Dick to stumble in, playfully dragging a violently indignant Damian by the arm
“It’s going to be fun, Dami!” Dick’s joy at everyone coming together is infectious. If Bruce and Alfred are the driving force behind Family Bonding Time™, Dick is for sure the one riding shotgun.
Despite Dick’s infectious joy, judging by the look on Damian’s face, Tim can only imagine the boy is plotting murder. Tim knows though that despite his apparent disgust at the idea, Damian always enjoys spending extra time with Dick. That doesn’t mean he would ever outwardly show it, Tim quietly thinks Damian would rather die than express external joy.
Cass makes her way in next, quietly taking a steaming teacup off the table and claiming one of the loveseats, curling her legs under herself and smiling slightly when Steph immediately pulls her into a conversation. Following her is Barbara, quietly wheeling over to where Cass sits, saying brief ‘hello's as she goes.
Tim can hear Jason and Alfred in the kitchen as Bruce makes his way into the room, claiming the loveseat opposite Cass. The man somehow always looks just slightly out of place, it would honestly be impressive if it wasn’t just a little bit sad. Tim is sure that if he asked, everyone would insist it isn’t anything personal. No one is intentionally ignoring Bruce, the man just makes no effort to be actively involved in conversations or activities. He has always been an observer, much more content to watch others enjoying themselves from a distance than join in himself. Tim has always related to him a little in that way. But as time goes on, Tim has slowly learnt to immerse himself in his surroundings, Bruce has yet to learn that. He’s getting there, Tim knows that for sure, he is so much better than he used to be. But these things take time. So for now, Bruce will sit and watch his mismatched family enjoy each other's company, that seems to be enough for him.
As the minutes tick by though and the family converses around him, Tim can see Bruce’s shoulders slowly lose some of their stiffness. The man poorly hides a small smile behind a steaming mug.
Finally, Jason enters the room, two large bowls of popcorn and trail mix in his hands. He drops both bowls onto the coffee table before throwing himself onto the couch, reaching for the TV remote. As the man gets more comfortable, he swings his legs up onto the couch and directly into Dicks lap in what Tim can only assume is an attempt to take up as much room as possible. Dick huffs but allows it without complaint, leaning forward to take a popcorn bowl as payment for his trouble. Damian grumbles from Dick’s other side, smacking Jason's foot with his hand, the man smirks to himself but otherwise doesn’t react.
The family settles in as a movie begins to play, quiet and unimportant conversation creating soft background noise. As much as Tim had complained about it at first, he does actually like days like these. More specifically, moments like these within days like these.
Eventually, likely in the next few hours, someone will do the ‘let me just stir the pot for the sake of it’ thing and the mood will shift drastically. If not yelling, passive aggression and pettiness will start, putting a damper on the mood for the next little while. But for now, the calm and quiet is like a balm for Tim's nerves, god knows he needs it. Despite it being the middle of the day, Tim can feel his eyelids slowly starting to droop shut.
It isn’t until a deep and sudden boom sound startles him awake that Tim realises he had drifted off. All at once, everyone is moving. Dick ends up in front as they all move to the coat room at the back of the house. From there, they have a clear view of the manor's extensive grounds, including the source of the noise.
Motioning for the rest of them to stay back, Dick presses his back against the wall and peers around the corner of the window frame. From their position in the doorway, everyone else can only watch the confused expression on Dick's face shift to concern and back to confusion again. Bruce was next to move forward, motioning Dick to step back and take his place with the rest of the family. When he doesn’t move and simply continues staring out of the window, Bruce sighs before gesturing everyone else over.
The dust (at least he thinks it’s dust) cloud catches Tim’s attention first, not heavy by any means but stemming from a small crater in the distance. He finds himself silently thanking whatever god there might be that the grounds of the manor are as expansive as they are, the neighbours likely didn’t even hear the sound.
The crater itself is frustrating, not large by any means but deep enough that Tim can't see what might be inside from his position.
“Is that a hole?” Barbara’s voice comes from beside him, Tim startles slightly, he didn't even hear her wheel over.
“It looks more crater-like to me, did Clark just land really hard in the backyard or something?” Duke pipes up from his other side, standing on his tip-toes to get a better look.
“He’s off-world at the moment as far as I am aware. If this is something in his area of expertise then-” Bruce cuts himself off, still staring out the window.
“Then we sure as hell weren’t told about it.” Jason finishes for him, hand drifting to his hip and staying there, seemingly on instinct.
Cursing under his breath, Bruce turns towards the crowd behind him. “I’m going out there. Dick, Jason, you’re with me.” His words are met with whispered complaints and many variations of ‘but what about me’ . Bruce seems to tune them out, turning towards his oldest sons “Stay behind me, if I say to get back you get back.” The two jerk their chins in a nod, almost identical in their expressions.
As they move outside, Dick’s mind begins running through the possibilities. Anything he can imagine that might explain a sudden crater in Alfred’s freshly manicured lawn. Despite his better judgement, Dick finds himself asking.
“You really have no ideas about what we might be working with here? Haven’t heard any word on unidentified crater-making objects lately?” This is met with nothing but an exhale of amusement from Jason and silence from Bruce, the older man’s eyes focused entirely on the distance ahead of them. After a short silence, the older man speaks. “As I said, Clark is off-world. None of our other contacts of a similar nature have any reason to visit, especially without warning. This could very well be a potential threat.”
“You know, you can just say friends. ‘Contacts of a similar nature’ does imply friendship.”
“B? having friends? You might be aiming a little high there Dickie.”
“Chatter.” Bruce snaps, putting a swift end to the conversation as they finally near the crater. Dick has to stop himself from mentioning that ‘comm chatter’ doesn't really count if no comms are being worn, but somehow he resists.
All three men slow their movements considerably, quieting their footsteps and creeping forward. Now that they are closer, Dick realises the crater itself looks significantly smaller than he originally thought. Moving closer still, the three soon find themselves at the edge of the small crater. A haze of dust still lingering somewhat in the air. From what they can see though, something appears to be in the centre. The crater itself is shallow and small, no larger than three metres in diameter.
Jason is the first to speak, his voice quiet. “Any ideas?”
“I can’t make out what’s in there, Bruce you see anything?” Dick says, turning to look at Bruce beside him. The man is silent, his face showing its usual stoic expression but a slight squint in his eyes as he studies the scene in front of him.
Before long, Jason speaks again.
“Not what. Who.” In his confusion, Dick turns to look back at the crater. The dust has almost completely settled and lying in the middle is-
“Is that a kid?” Dick exclaims, immediately moving forwards.
Bruce catches him by the shoulder before he can move any further. “We don’t know if it’s a threat, keep your distance.”
Dick scoffs, yanking himself free and turning a venomous look towards his father. “Not an ‘it’ Bruce, a kid.” If he is being honest with himself, Dick does agree with Bruce just slightly. Yes, the kid could potentially be a threat, especially after mysteriously appearing on the manor's grounds. But the kid also looks battered to hell.
“If they try to kill me, then you intervene. But I’m not just going to stand here and wait for something to happen.”
Looking closer, Dick realises how right his thoughts actually were. The kid looks well and truly battered. Although most of their face is obscured by brown, half-wet and blood-crusted hair, what is visible looks bruised and bloody. Their arms are in a similar condition, bruises of different shapes and sizes litter the skin while blood is smeared and dried in seemingly random places.
Dick and Jason move at the same time, sliding down the side of the small crater to kneel on either side of the body. Bruce looks down at them worriedly, one hand balled into a fist at his side.
“This isn't safe.” Is Bruce’s only attempt at reining in his sons, his words go completely ignored. If he truly wanted to, Bruce would kick up a fuss about them being so close, but Dick thinks he is secretly worried about the kids' well-being too. In his roundabout and very unclear way.
Dick reaches a hand out to touch the arm in front of him, checking the pulse point at the kid's wrist. “Jace, how's it looking on your side?”
Jason, to his credit, is already working quickly to check for more serious injuries. Hands gently gliding over the body and pressing certain areas to assess any potential breaks or bleeds.
“Considering this kid managed to make a crater in Alfred’s lawn, he’s in surprisingly good condition.” Dick had to agree with that. Aside from the bruising and non-urgent bleeding, the kid seemed remarkably okay.
“Don’t move him, he might have a spinal injury,” Bruce speaks up from above them, kneeling in his place at the mouth of the crater, serious eyes scanning over the boy.
“Go and get us a backboard then, we can't just leave them in the dirt,” Jason replies, a little more heat than he probably intended in his tone. After a few seconds of mental deliberation, Bruce stands before turning back towards the manor. Returning before long with Duke at his side, the younger boy jogging over to the crater with a backboard under one arm.
Passing the board down into the crater, Duke finally gets the chance to fully comprehend what is happening in front of him.
“Oh shit is that a kid?” Dick only nods as he slides the backboard under the boy, the latter so still that Dick was almost ready to check for a pulse again.
Soon, Jason and Dick comfortably hold either end of the backboard, making their way out of the crater and marching back to the manor with ease despite the awkward weight. Duke follows behind them, glancing between the three men and the boy strapped onto the backboard, worrying at his lip with his teeth. Bruce walks alongside him, eyes never leaving the person his sons carry inside.
As they enter, Dick and Jason breeze through the coat room and head deeper into the manor, the rest of the family throwing their questioning towards their retreating backs as they pass. Chatter falls on deaf ears as Bruce follows his sons to what he can only imagine is the infirmary. As uncomfortable as it makes him to bring a stranger into the most secret (and thankfully, he thinks, most secure) part of his home, he knows his sons won’t budge on this. Duke falls into step with Stephanie and Tim as they attempt to follow, only for Bruce to close and lock the door behind him as he walks into the study.
“Oh dear” Alfred tuts as he joins the crowd outside of the study door, “I see the older two have found themselves a stray.”
Tim can’t confidently say he knows what to make of the situation. One minute they were all watching some cheesy film Jason put on and the next, his oldest brothers are bringing a random kid into the manor on a stretcher. He supposes it has been a while since Bruce found himself a new kid anyway.
Tim can’t help but worry though, and he thinks he is in his right mind to do so. As he’s lost in thought, Stephanie comes to stand beside him, leaning against the closed door.
“So…” she starts “I guess we should reschedule the card games?”
The look Tim gives her can only be described as withering.