My Mother, My Mom, Michonne
"Oh she’s doing loads better," Beth said over coffee
Michonne grinned "Good, I was getting worried for a minute there. She used to be really good at reading,"
Beth hummed sipping from her mug before she continued "Well ever since that last batch of memories her reading skills skyrocketed. I think she’s due an age placement meeting,"
Michonne nodded "I’ll make sure to set it up with Kat,"
Beth hummed "So any news on that run?"
Michonne nodded again “They just left this morning,"
"Oh I didn’t think they would, Rick seemed wary about it," Beth said
Michonne chuckled "That’s only because it was swarmed last time,but he took Glenn, Aaron, Daryl and Abraham. I’m sure whatever they run into they can handle,"
"Well I won’t be complaining," Beth said "Hopefully that store has a bunch of stationary the school is running low,"
"I’m sure it will," Michonne said… but they weren’t due to return for 5 days. The school would be out by then
"You know I think we have some old stationary in our attic, I’ll go and try and find it. Should have some pencils, pens and paper at least,"
Beth grinned "That’s be great-" her watch beeped and she started gathering her purse and cleaning up her coffee mug and such
"You go I got this," Michonne said waving her away "I’ll see you when I drop the kids off,"
Beth nodded and gave her a wave as she left the house silently so as not to rouse the sleeping children inside. Beth always worked very early in the morning so her classes for the kids were ready and the parents could just drop them off like real school. Beth’s job was not only important for their future but it was daycare for those who had jobs and not to mention a sense of normalcy and schedule.
Since Beth had so much on her shoulders they all chipped in where they could, offering class ideas, field trip help, and things like that. Or even just coffee to keep her company other than little kids for a morning.
Michonne cleaned up the morning coffee. She still had an hour till she had to wake Judith and RJ for school. Carl usually liked to walk them but it was Michonne’s job to get them dressed and teeth brushed for their day.
As always the hour seemed to come too fast and Michonne could no longer watch her babies sleep soundly in their beds.
While Judith stumbled around trying to wake up Michonne got RJ up and changed his clothes. He was a fresh two-year-old now and out of diapers. Maybe from hard work or memories, they didn’t know. Either way, it meant she could send him to school with the other babies.
RJ was one of three in town for toddler age. Hope, Zach’s wife was the one who took care of the toddlers while kids closer to Judith and Gracie’s age went to Beth to learn.
"You guys up yet?" Carl asked stepping into the living room
"Almost," Judith yawned
Carl chuckled and said "Sophia and Duane are starting on some breakfast,"
"How do you three even still fit in that bedroom?" Michonne asked
Carl shrugged. Their slumber parties even after Carl and Sophia started dating were still a thing. It was hard to get rid of them though no one really tried to.
"That your way of telling me I need to move out?" Carl asked. He was technically an adult on both sides of memories. 22 memory wise, 19 body wise.
"Never," Michonne kissed his temple as she passed by. Carl rubbed the spot with a small eye roll. It was the same spot she kissed Judith and RJ.
He’d never had the chance to see her be a mom last timeline. He never even got to see Judith and RJ grow up. So even though he rolled his eyes he followed them into the kitchen plenty glad to help his little brother eat some oatmeal that will end up more on the floor than his mouth.
"You excited for school?" Duane asked Judith as he set some oatmeal in front of her
Judith was still waking up but the little sunshine personality was starting to shine through already
"Me and baby Hershel are project pairs!"
"Projects Huh? Did you get to choose your partners?" Duane asked giving Carl 2 bowls for him and RJ
"No, I think Beth-or uh Ms.Greene wanted Gracie to try and make more friends," Judith explained
"She’s a bit shy but she’s sweet, she’ll make loads of friends," Sophia promised while giving Michonne her own bowl
"She has me and baby Hershel is that not enough?" Judith asked
"She can have more while you guys are still her best friends," Carl said "And stop calling him baby Hershel he hates that,"
Judith sighed "He only hates it when I do it," she mumbled. Hershel didn’t like being called baby Hershel by any of the kids. They suspected they just wouldn’t tell the adults so they were trying to s stick with "little" or "Jr" even though he technically wasn’t a Jr.
"He’s just trying to feel older," Carl said. Hershel was technically the kid with the most memories even though he was physically the youngest. Carl could relate to him for that
"Well… if it’s just that," Judith said brightening up a bit
After breakfast, Carl, Duane, and Sophia walked the kids to school. They would pick up Hershel and Gracie on the way so their parents could go to work. Or in Maggie’s case go back to bed while Marie was still sleeping.
Once Michonne did the dishes, and the clean up from breakfast she had plans to go training. Some exercise and practicing were always essential to her routine no matter where she lived or who she lived with… today however she wanted to go up to the attic and get that stationary.
After getting the ladder down and going up into the dusty place she found her boxes. She dug through them trying to find the one with the stationary. She found it in the 3rd box but it wasn’t the only thing she found.
Lori’s letters.
She almost forgot about them. She wanted to wait until Judith was old enough to read them herself. Michonne didn’t feel right reading them. She asked Carl and Rick to read them for her but they both said they wouldn’t make it through without crying or upsetting Judith.
But now she was excelling in her reading classes, she could read almost anything they put in front of her without help. Beth had told her just this morning how well she was doing.
Michonne felt herself grin, excited for this new step for Judith to take as she brought the box downstairs.
Judith was still at school so Michonne paid a visit to Kat. She always saved boxes if they were pretty or useful in some way. She and Maggie teased the woman about it but now she needed one.
After getting a nice pink shoe box Michonne returned home and organized the sealed envelopes into the box and set them on the coffee table.
What did Lori write? What could she write?
What do you tell your daughter when you feel you’re going to die?
Michonne felt it was only right that either Rick or Carl introduced her to the letters. Since Rick wasn’t due back for 5 more days Carl said he’d be happy too. Especially since he was curious about what his mom wrote too.
"Carl?" Judith asked walking into the living room "Mom said you… what’s that?"
Carl scooted to the side of the couch so he could sit and patted the spot next to him. She sat down and kept her eyes on the shoe box on the coffee table
"It’s from mom- or uh, Lori the one who gave birth to you," Carl said
Judith stared at it "I know who Lori is,"
Carl nodded "I know you do, but ever since you’ve started reading better and since you got almost all your memories now we decided it was time for you to have these,"
Judith frowned "What are they?"
Carl picked up the box and opened it they were labeled by numbers "Here. When mom was pregnant with you she wrote you these letters,"
Judith was still frowning uncomfortably, Carl decided to push past it and grabbed the first letter handing it to her
"If you want me to leave while you read them that’s fine. Mom just wanted you to-"
"Stop… calling her that," Judith mumbled
"What?" Carl asked
Judith looked up at her brother, her eyes were cornered with tears as she clutched the letter. She searched his eyes. One blue like hers and her dad's, One gray from fire damage. His face was still half burned and he still kept his hair short.
In her memories, he looked different. Younger, with an eyepatch, long hair and always wearing that hat that she still couldn’t fit in.
"Mom. You keep calling her mom," Judith said
Carl tried to smile but it was weak "She… is mom Judith. She’s our mom,"
Judith stood up and put the letter back in the box
"She’s your mom. She’s not mine," Judith said stubbornly
Carl sighed and took her hand "Listen… Mom is the reason you’re-"
Judith shook her head and ran out of the room.
"Judith wait," Carl stood up about to follow but she was already gone. He would have to go find Michonne and ask her to talk to her.
Carl sat back down and looked at the letters. In his mother's pretty handwriting on the envelope was Judith’s name. He can still remember the day he found them. How he imagined Judith would finally be able to know their mom even in a small way.
He never thought she wouldn’t want to.
Rosita dropped her basket of apples as Judith bumped into her. She chuckled
"Slow it down speedster," Rosita said thinking she was playing tag or something.
But then Judith didn’t immediately help her pick up the fruits she dropped, like she normally would. It was when she heard her sniffles that Rosita abandoned the fruit and made the girl look at her
"Judith- sweetie what’s wrong?"
It took a while to calm her down but Judith and Rosita sat on the stairs and she told her. Not just what happened but why she reacted that way
"He-he’s my brother but he doesn’t call my mom our mom- He calls her by her name," Judith wiped her tears and Rosita listened carefully
"Does- does he not love her? Is she not his mom too?" Judith’s voice cracked and Rosita smiled thinly and gently at her
"Carl loves your mom. Even if he doesn’t call her mom, Okay?" Rosita asked
Judith took a shaky breath "But he wants me to think Lori is my mom too. Whenever he talks about her every time,"
Rosita sighed "Sweetie, Lori is your mother,"
Judith shook her head but Rosita shushed her "Uh bupbup let me finish, Lori is your mother, but that doesn't make Michonne any less of your mom, okay?"
Judith looked thoroughly confused. Before she could ask any questions or disagree Michonne walked up. One hand on her sword’s sheath and a smile that had a mix of grateful and apologetic at Rosita.
Rosita kissed Judith’s head before she sat up "Think about what I said okay?" She asked
Judith nodded slowly. Rosita gave them both an apple before she continued on to the pantry.
Michonne sighed as she sat down letting herself stretch and enjoy the summer's warmth. She took a bite of the sweet apple. Judith fidgeted with her fingers until she gave in
"Am I in trouble?"
Michonne raised her brow "Did you do something bad?"
Judith looked away "I think I made Carl mad,"
Michonne hummed "He’s you’re big brother, he’s going to get mad sometimes that’s what they do,"
Judith shook her head "No… actually I think I made him sad,"
Michonne sighed and sat up leaning on her knees and forward "He told me he was worried… He told me what you said,"
Judith puffed out her cheeks slightly as her nose burned and tears threatened to build again
"Baby…" Michonne took her hand "Do you remember when it was just us? You me and RJ?"
Judith nodded "Yeah,"
Michonne smiled "Well RJ was your only brother back then right? But now you have two brothers, you love them both equally right?"
Judith huffed "That’s not the same,"
Michonne sighed. She thought of something Kat told her. It was one of those days when she saw her and Otis taking one of their early morning walks. Later on, she asked her about it. Something that happened a long time ago. Mentioning that she wanted Otis to walk her down the aisle before realizing it had to be the person to raise her.
She asked her if she felt Otis replaced her dad. It was a sensitive subject but Kat had only smiled and said something that stuck with her. Something that sounded like she had thought about a lot.
"People’s spots in your heart don’t get replaced or filled by someone else. Your heart just becomes bigger and more space for people opens up. No one ever gets replaced, new people just come in,”
It was incredibly beautiful and she ended up writing it down like a dork. They both agreed Simone would go crazy over something like that for poetry nights.
And so Michonne told the same line to Judith. The girl kind of just stared at her when she did though so she rephrased a bit- embellished if you will.
"I’m your mom just like Lori is. If it wasn’t for her we wouldn’t have you. Does that make sense?"
Judith sighed "Why does Carl not call you mom?"
Michonne raised her brow "is that what you’re upset about?"
Judith crossed her arms "If he can only love her does that mean I can't love her?"
Michonne chuckled and pulled Judith into her lap. At 8 she was still little enough to pick up like a flower.
"Carl loves me. Just because he doesn’t call me mom doesn’t mean anything okay?"
Judith laid her head on Michonne’s shoulder fiddling with her shirt "But why doesn’t he? Doesn’t he want too?"
Michonne kissed her forehead "Maybe you should ask him?"
Judith huffed and Michonne asked "are you not ready for the letters? We can put them up if you want,"
Judith didn’t look at her when she asked and revealed her true worries as she said "You won’t be mad?"
"Mad?" Michonne asked
"Mad if… if I miss her- or if I like the letter- not that I will but uh… if I do…"
Michonne smiled and hugged her "I would be very happy. When Lori was on bed rest I was with her nearly every day. All we talked about was you and Carl. All she wanted was to show you she loved you. I will never be mad at someone for loving you. Do you understand?"
Judith nodded but kept close in her mom's hold "Can you read them to me?"
"Beth was saying your reading was getting better," Michonne said
"Yeah but… I want to read them with you… and with Carl,"
Michonne nodded and kissed her forehead "Of course I’ll read them to you,"
So the three read some letters in their living room. Judith’s first few letters consisted of things she wanted her to know. Things like how Lori had to take care of her hair growing up. How she was as a kid and things she might have gotten from her. A few letters were like Carl’s telling Judith all about their family history. Stories she would have told if she had been around to tell them.
It wasn’t until after a few letters and a lot of crying and laughing that Judith got to ask Carl the question.
By now they were taking a break for lunch and while Michonne got to work in the kitchen with Maggie and Kat, she tapped him.
"What’s up?" Carl asked folding the letter they read and back into its labeled envelope
"Why don’t you call mom, mom?"
"What?" Carl asked "Michonne?"
Judith nodded "You don’t see her as your mom?"
Carl hummed "It’s complicated…" he saw the hurt look on Judith’s face so he continued quickly "She’s my mom but uh, I also grew up with my mom- Lori, first. I have a weird meaning for mom I guess,"
Carl loved his mom, she raised him after all. Michonne was a group member first, then she was a best friend next. The word “mom” didn’t feel right, Michonne was… well she was Michonne.
Judith titled her head slightly confused. "What I mean is, even if Michonne is like my mom. I knew her first as Michonne, and to me… well that means the most to me,"
"Saying Michonne is… like saying mom to you?" Judith asked
Carl chuckled "It’s like Sophia, she doesn’t call Ezekiel dad buuuut-"
"But he’s her dad," Judith seemed to understand with this comparison. There was no denying Sophia’s situation.
Like with Sophia, Mom was just a different word for a different world. To them, their names meant more to that person and to the person they were to them.
Judith hugged him "I’m glad you love her too,"
Carl chuckled "I loved her first," he joked patting her back
"Well I loved her longer," she teased
Carl rolled his eyes "That’s cheating,"
"Foods done!" They heard Beth from the kitchen so a few new members of the group must have joined the moms in the kitchen
"Wanna read more after lunch?" Carl asked standing up
Judith took his hand to help her jump off the couch "As long as we read them together,"