Chapter 3
“Mom made apple cinnamon pancakes,” Jeff Kaplan folds his reading glasses once he finished reading World News on his tablet the second Billy shuffles through the kitchen in a pocket shirt long sleeve and blue plaid pajama bottoms.
“That was super nice of you,” Billy says, rubbing the sleep off the corner of his smeared eyeliner eyelid with Rebecca Kaplan crossing over towards the breakfast table with a glass pitcher of orange juice.
“We barely see you these days,” the stand-in mother shrugs with a sad smile.
“What have you and Eddie been up to?”
Billy sits down and starts serving himself a plate of the pancakes. His stand-in father watches curiously.
“Last night we stopped at the arcades in Eastview and then grabbed a bite to eat. Then he dropped me back here.”
“Didn’t you take your car? It’s not parked in the garage,” Rebecca mentions carefully.
Why do I have the feeling he’s hiding something?
Billy can hear the rest of Mrs. Kaplan’s thoughts inside her mind.
“I-I’m not hiding my car,” he exclaims, causing both the mother and father to look at him confused. “Well I mean, it’s not lost or anything…”
The front doorbell rings with outstanding timing, causing the Kaplans to blink and lose focus.
Billy shoves the side of his mouth with a chunk of fluffy pancake drizzled in maple syrup while Rebecca leaves to go answer the door.
A long-haired woman dressed as if she just stepped out of a 1970’s Vogue magazine catalog, stands there smiling twinkle-eyed.
“Hiii! You must be Mrs. Kaplan!” her cheerful falsetto voice could break mirrors if given opportunity.
“Yes, I’m Rebecca Kaplan,” the mother says carefully.
“Agnes Bohner,” the woman introduces, holding her hand out for a shake.
“I’m sure Billy has already mentioned me!”
“Sorry, no,” Rebecca shakes their hands awkwardly.
“William hasn’t even—I’m sorry—who are you?”
“Mom! Hey!” Billy scrambles right beside Rebecca at the door. His eyes lock on Agatha’s with horror and bewilderment over her last-minute disguise. “I see you met—”
“Mrs. Agnes Bohner, your Spanish teacher!” Agatha cuts off. Sending Billy a slight nod, he joins in the phony lie immediately.
“Yes! Right! My Spanish teacher!” he laughs nervously, bopping his head with agreement. “What are you doing here, Mrs. Bohner?”
“Just dropping off your wheels, pudding pie,” Agatha explains with a sway of her hips. “Remember you left the car at my place to go out with Eddie after our study session?”
Billy keeps nodding just as Rebecca steps back.
“We were actually in the middle of discussing that, how funny. Would you like to come in, Mrs. Bohner?”
“Most definitely I will! Love what you done with the place! So modern!” Agatha giggles as she steps through.
Billy stares out to find Rio left waiting in the driver’s seat of his own car, blowing and popping pink bubblegum.
He closes the door, astounded by what’s happening, and goes back to the kitchen where Jeff Kaplan is already shaking hands with Agatha.
“Bohner,” the father repeats with a chuckle. “Doesn’t sound very Spanish to me…”
"¡No importa!” Agatha tells him off. She now turns around to wave Billy over.
“Mind if I go over a few study questions with you, Billy?”
That was his cue for them to speak in private.
“Oh, sure, okay,” he follows her out of the kitchen to the living room leaving both the Kaplans perplexed.
When the coast is clear, Agatha whacks Billy a few times, causing him to cower into the wall.
“Oww! You’re hurting me!”
“What’s the matter with you for not answering your phone?! I thought you dweeby teens go on them nonstop!” Agatha snaps.
“We do… I’m sorry…” Billy winces.
“Why didn’t you come back last night?” Agatha demands.
“You know I don’t live with you, right?”