Long story short, Tony learned an important lesson at the Asgardian parties. Well actually two important lessons. First, the Asgardian alcohol, the mead as they call it, is some super strong shit if it can get an interspatial race drunk, and two, don't mess with other Asgardians when they are intoxicated with the so-called extraterrestrial drink.
Now don't get him wrong, he is not the protagonist of this story, but rather the wonderful and extraordinary lover of his, none other than Loki Odinson, the second prince of New Asgrad and the younger brother of the current king, Thor Odinson.
A lover who was caught into a fight with another equally drunk Asgardian and from the looks of things, Loki seemed to be losing more than a fight. Even more explicit, perhaps a few teeth if the clenched fists of the man with a body like a mountain were an indication of his intention.
Normally it was the trickster that keeps the inventor from getting too drunk, but it seems that this time Loki fell for Val's trap and succumbed to her teasing, leading to the scene before him.
A very anesthetized and dizzy piece of intergalactic prince on Thor and Jane's living room couch.
Confused a lot? Yeah, let Tony explain it to you.
After that confrontation where Thor saved his brother from being beaten to the ground and the other man from being roasted alive by the equally enraged big brother, Loki was taken to Eir. She explained that everything seemed fine, nothing the prince couldn't handle, but unfortunately the punch he received resulted in one of Loki's teeth breaking.
Ha, who would have thought. Alien teeth are not as resilient as the rest of their bodies.
After that examination, there was a lot of insistence from the philanthropist that his lover should have an operation to remove what was left of the tooth. To which Loki, of course, refused with behemoth insisting that it was fine, to which Tony called bullshit because he noticed the small twitches when he ate or did he drunk something. So he insisted until the magician finally exasperated, gave in.
Eir had to use a much larger amount of anesthetic because it was about asgardians here, but Loki insisted that he was still in pain even after the recommended dose. So he didn’t cease to complain about the pain.
At which the irritated healer gave him a double dose, insisting that it would not cause him any harm but he would probably have a headache the next day.
Thor and Tony looked at each other and shrugged, knowing that the healer probably knows what she's saying and it was better not to correct her.
Now back to the present, Loki groaned softly, throat dry and achy. He turned his head to the side, trying to clear the fog in his head to no avail. Shuffling to his left alerted him to another presence in the room and he could feel his face scrunching slightly.
"Lokes, hey games, can you hear me? Blink twice if you know who I am." Tony said holding a glass of water in his hands.
Loki huffed, squeezing his eyes shut tighter at the voice beside him. What kind of greeting was that? Where was he anyway?
"I don't think he recognizes you. That's it, Stark. He's lost forever. You'll have to find another lover." Val said plaintively, taking a sip of her own drink and enjoying the free show.
”Val..”Thor shook his head at her disapprovingly being accompanied by her spouse Jane. "While I appreciate a sarcastic joke at the right time, this is really not the case Brunn."
Val just waved them off, not caring at all about the mage's distress. From her view, they were all overreacting.
Tony glared at her after bringing the glass with a straw in it closer to his partner and said, "Here Lokes, Suck it in.”
With a frown and a lot of determination, he managed to squint one eye open, searching blearily for that voice.
”Uhg..iss that youre penith-”
"Wow wow ok, no!-, stop, just a straw. Just plain regular water, ok?"
Tony tries to snap out of that embarrassing moment only to hear Val's boisterous laugh in the background, followed by his sister-in-law's muffled laugh and Thor's slightly appealed look.
Loki grunted again, appearing frustrated as he tried to force his eyes open. "Take your time Games, you have been through a lot in the past three hours," Tony said, finally letting himself reach out and lightly touch Loki's shoulder.
"D-did...Gods send you?" Loki finally asked, eyes still heavy and slipping closed occasionally.
“The gods? What are you talking about Lokes?” Tony could feel his heart racing, the anxiety in his chest and his eyes searching Loki's face. His eyes were narrowed, contemplative, and Tony couldn't stop the small frown that tugged at his lips.
"I told you, he's gone for good."
"Could you shut up-Why are you even here?" Tony asked without any ire in his voice , just plain annoyance. He was already stressed enough without any side comments.
Val just grinned evilly and I said, "Entertainment."
Before he could say something sweet back to her, Tony was interrupted by the magician "You have to be. A m-messengg-err of the goshd-s.”
At this declaration, Tony nearly fell out of his chair, bracing his hands on his knees and staring in bewilderment.
"Am I a what?" He vaguely remembered Eir telling him that once the God woke up, he would probably experience temporary dizziness and confusion, but it wasn't what he expected.
"A mes- a mes,-messenger."Loki repeated, words slurring in his mouth and eyes blinking slowly. “Because...you’re...you’re -such beauty could only belong to realms of eternity...,” the God said, eyes locking with the avenger's in determination, nodding seriously at Tony’s wide gaze.
After a moment, Tony couldn’t hold back a laugh, trying to cover his mouth before Loki saw. He lifted himself from his chair helped the prince lift his head and helped him take a couple sips of water before laying him back down and setting the cup down on the bedside table.
”Have I died? Is this Valhalla?” Loki asked after another moment, voice sounding slightly stronger. Tony sighed and let himself sink back into his chair. “What’s your name?” Tony tried not to laugh again at how earnest his boyfriend looked, eyes set in dazed determination.
"You are not in Valhalla, Lokes. And you are most certainly not dead. As for who I am, well, the answer is much simpler and less extravagant than you first assumed."
Loki waited for the answer.
"My name is Tony Stark, I'm your boyfriend."
"My lover?" Loki asked, looking like he just won the lottery. Tony really tried not to blush too much as he turned and shrugged, half nodding. " by no means- ." Loki looked over his lover's face again, noting the small laugh lines around the eyes, the disheveled hair, the scruffy beard. He let his eyes travel over Tony's broad shoulders and match. After another moment, Loki's face creased again. "Why?"
"What-? What do you mean why?"
"I don't know if you know that, Tony Stark," Loki began, meeting Stark's eyes seriously, seemingly not noticing the poorly choked off laughter coming from him. "But you are… very attractive."
"Hmm, is that so?"
Loki could only nod, with a face as serious as as he could muster in his drugged position..Tony couldn't keep the infatuated smile at bay as he watched the trickster blink a few times, trying to stay awake and conscious.
"And you were worried that he was still hurt." Val laughed uproariously.
Laughter drew Loki's attention to the blonde in the room. His eyes widened. "YOU, I can't believe it- you re Thor Odinson, hell, you’re a Viking kl-king in my room, Tony do you see him too? Dooo you?"
Val's laughter only increased. "Yes, that's him."
Loki looked to his lover and meant to whisper, but was loud, "That's Thorrrr Odinson."
"Yeah, I noticed that, Lo."
Loki looked at Thor again. "I love the stories about you, Sir. Just, unbelievable, Thor son of Odin, God of Thunder.”
”Thank you, brother. I appreciate it.” Thor said half amused half touched by his brother sincerity. He was sure Loki wouldn’t say that to him even if it killed him.
He fell back on his bed, only to shoot back up a second later. "I have an actual God in my living room, flesh and bones. Oh! Can I get a souvenir to prove I really met you?"
"Can you give me an autograph? Um, I don't have anything on me-oh, you can sign on my arm." Loki asked, ignoring Tony. He twisted around looking at the living room table. "There has to be a pen somewhere.."
"Loki, you don't need a-- Would you quit it before you hurt yourself?" Thor huffed seeing how restless his brother was becoming.
"you- you know my name?" He asked, looking in Thor’s eyes. Loki somehow ignored the fact that Thor kept calling him his brother.
Val leaned towards Jane, whispering, "Wait and see how he reacts when he finds out he's the brother of the said God."
Loki fell back onto his bed, seeming to have exerted himself after just starting to recover from surgery. The three watched him play with his tongue and blow spit bubbles for a few minutes before he said, "My mouth hurts."
"It's normal, Loki. You just had a tooth extracted." Jane explained.
Loki frowned and asked "They took my tooth? Why?"
"Because it was hurting you, so it had to go." Jane felt like a parent trying to comfort their kid even though the distress was over something silly, and her tone showed it.
"Don’t need to be sad," she assured, wiping away the tears that threatened to fell. "You still have a lot of others good tooth," she chuckled a bit, finding the situation ironic.
”ok..”Loki sad and sniffled.
Thor laughed and turned to his wife. “Why aren’t we recording this?”
Loki mumbled with his eyes closed once he was laying back down.
"Stark?”
”Yeah?”
”You're so beautiful. Did you know that?"
And now the laughing was gone and the blushing was back. "Lokes, please just go to sleep until you're coherent again."
Unfortunately, Loki's eyes snapped open again. "You look just like my partner! How implausible is that?" He smiled and pushed himself up into the bed. "His name is Anthony Stark. And he is super smart, like he is not a normal mortal-and -and he is very wealthy and good looking and sometimes he thinks he is such a smart ass but he-he is also an idiot sometimes" Loki shook his head with a sigh . "It's very confusing."
”Do you remember how he looks?” Tony asked amused.
"I don't remember that," Loki said although he just said that he looks exactly like his boyfriend. "So, uh, what kind of boyfriend things do we do?"
"You know, boyfriend stuff." Tony tried to save himself the embarrassment trying to play it cool but Loki didn't stop.
"Naked boyfriend stuff?" Loki proded.
"Oh please, somebody record this whole thing. You know what, just hand me over a phone. I'll do it myself." Val at this point yelled her plea hoping someone will heed to her wish. Jane was the one to fulfill that wish.
"Stark?"
"Yeah snowflake?"
The jotun took a moment, furrowing his brow in thought.
"D'you even have any idea how 'mazing Anthony is? Like....woah?"
Tony's lips twitched. "Really?"
Loki nodded enthusiastically. "Really, 's really just....woah. I love 'im, can't help it..."
Just the look Loki gave Tony there nearly made the genius completely lose it, but he managed to keep his composure. "That's nice, Lokes."
But then Tony thought he said something wrong because Loki sniffed. "What if he leaves me for someonelse..."
Tony carefully patted the trickster on the shoulder. "There, there. I'm sure he likes you."
"He's gonna leave me for Thor, I m sure of it, he s more good looking."
Tony bit back a laugh. Thor made a face hearing that. "I'm sure he won't, not to mention Thor is already happy married and your lover is his brother in law.”
Loki shook his head stubbornly.
"He's gonna leave me still, everyone falls for Thor, I would fall for Thor.."
"Oh ho ho, this blackmail it will last me a whole year." Val laughed non-stop, enjoying whatever came out of the wizard's intoxicated mind.
"Oh Gods..." Thor said , half horrified for life and half amused. This was going to be a long day.
Loki turned back to look at Tony again, groggy and confused. His hair is messy and flattened down but Tony couldn’t help thinking that he was adorable. His lover frowned at him, like he heard the thought and disapproved.
“Are you my doctor?” he slured.
"How? No, I'm not a doctor, why would you think that?" Tony asked a little surprised by the sudden change of mood and by the question itself.
"…cause you said I had surgery, you did it? You're my doctor?"
"Ha-ha, no Lokes, I didn't, I may be good at anything but medicine is not my expertise." Tony laughed lightly, amused by the magician's implication.
“hmm….Wanna play doctor?” Loki flirted back again after which he abruptly stopped.
"Please no," Jane said almost begging hearing Loki's idea of fun.
"What's wrong, brother? Does something hurt?" Thor asked with concern seeing the prince with such a blank look but Loki completely ignored him choosing to focus on something else instead.
Blinked. "... Why am I here again?"
"You just got your tooth out," Tony reminded him. Just how long will it take for the mage to come out of it? Apparently, he'd had some sort of weird reaction to the anesthesia and was taking longer to come out of it than usual.
Loki closed his eyes and tried to remember what tooth actually means.
His eyes open wide with horror.
"But don't worry! Nobody stole it, okay? It just had to go. Nothing to be sad about." Tony reassured once again, remembering the episode of only a few minutes ago.
"It's not that,doctor-!"he hissed, shaking off his grip to pull at Tony’s sleeve frantically, Tony wanted to remind he is not a doctor but he guessed it was hopless, ”How will I perform a good blowjob to my lover if I have no more teeth?!"
At that moment, not even Thor could hold back. All three burst out laughing, one louder than the other.
"I don't think this is a problem, Lackey. In fact, I think it's a plus, after all, less teeth, greater the pleasure." Val continued to laugh uncontrollably.
If someone had told her that all she had to do was to punch the crazy magician to be anesthetized and have his teeth pulled out to have such fun, she would have done it since they were still on the Statesman.
Tony closed his eyes. Pinched the bridge of his nose. Inhaled, and then exhaled, sighed from the deepest, greatest depths of his soul.
"God, just wait until you snap out of it and start remembering all of this." he said through gritted teeth. He gently removed his grip on the sleeve and placed his hand back on the bed. "Wow, you're really out of it."
Loki just blinked at him uncomprehendingly.
Tony was sure that someday, Loki would remember this day and laugh but until then, he was sure that he would kill his brother and his lover first because they let all his shame be caught on camera by Brunnhilde.