You sat at the kitchen table, your fingers loosely wrapped around the stem of a wine glass as your new girlfriend laughed at something she’d said. The sound was sweet, and she was kind. You could feel the warmth from across the table, the way her smile lit up the room, the way her eyes softened every time they landed on you.
And yet, every time you looked at her, a familiar shadow would sweep across your heart. The shadow of a face you had tried so hard to forget.
Yelena.
She’d been the sun to your universe, radiant and fierce. But being in love with her had been a storm – a beautiful, chaotic whirlwind that left you breathless and wanting more, until one day it stopped. The storm was over, and Yelena was gone.
Now, you were trying to move on.
Your new girlfriend’s hand reached out, brushing your fingertips softly. “Hey, you’re quiet tonight. Everything okay?”
You blinked, snapping back to the present. Her concern was genuine, and it made your chest tighten with guilt. She was trying so hard to build something with you, something stable, something good. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t escape the memories that clung to the corners of your mind.
“I’m fine,” you answered, forcing a smile. “Just tired.”
She smiled back, though there was a flicker of doubt in her eyes. “We don’t have to stay up late. We can go to bed if you want.”
You shook your head. “No, let’s just… stay like this for a while.”
She leaned back in her chair, still watching you, still waiting for you to let her in. But your thoughts weren’t with her anymore. They were in a dimly lit apartment in New York City, where the curtains were drawn, and the sound of the outside world had been nothing but background noise to Yelena’s laughter.
———————————-
You’d met Yelena on a mission, back when life was filled with danger and adrenaline. She’d been every bit the deadly assassin you’d heard about, but behind the sharp edges and cold exterior, there had been something so disarmingly human about her. The way she cared about people, the way she’d pretend not to when you teased her about it. The way her lips would curl into a smirk before she made a sarcastic comment, and the way she looked at you – like you were her entire world.
But love with Yelena had never been easy. It had been intense, passionate, but it had also been fragile. She was always haunted by her past, by the things she’d done, and even though she loved you, there was always a part of her that she couldn’t share. The things she couldn’t say, the pain she couldn’t release.
Eventually, it had been too much. The silence between you had grown lounder, and the distance too far to close. She’d left one morning, no goodbye, no explanation. Just gone.
And now, you were left to pick up the pieces of your own heart, trying to move on with someone who deserved so much more than the ghost of your past lingering in your mind.
———————————-
“You look like you’re a thousand miles away,” your girlfriend said, pulling you back to the present once more.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, setting the wine glass down. “I’m just… I think I need some air.”
She nodded, her eyes searching yours for a moment before she spoke again. “Do you want me to come with you?”
“No,” you said quickly, too quickly. “No, it’s fine. I’ll be back in a bit.”
She smiled, but it was tight, and you could see the uncertainty in her face. You hated that you were doing this to her, but you couldn’t stop it. Every time you tried to focus on her, to give her the attention she deserved, Yelena’s face would flash in your mind. The sound of her voice, the way she had kissed you – desperately, like she was afraid you would slip away.
You slipped on your jacket and stepped outside, the cool night air biting at your skin. The stars above twinkled faintly, barely visible through the haze of city lights. You wandered down the street, your mind replaying the past like a broken record.
Yelena. Always Yelena.
———————————-
It had been months since you’d last seen her, but you still remembered every detail. The way her blonde hair fell in loose waves around her shoulders, the way her green eyes pierced through you, seeing all the things you tried to hide. The way she smiled, only for you.
The first time she kissed you, it had been reckless, almost like a challenge. You were both injured, bruised from a mission gone wrong, adrenaline still coursing through your veins. She had grabbed your face, her lips crashing against yours with a hunger that made you dizzy.
From that moment on, you were hers. Completely.
But the love between you had been fragile, like trying to hold water in your hands. Every time you thought you had a grasp on it, it would slip through your fingers, leaving you with nothing but the memory of what had been.
And now, here you were, trying to build something new with someone else. Trying to pretend that the pieces of your heart weren’t still broken, that you weren’t still aching for a love that had left you shattered.
———————————-
You walked aimlessly, your footsteps echoing in the quiet streets. The night felt heavy, the silence pressing down on you as the memories flooded your mind.
It wasn’t fair to your girlfriend. She was good, and she was kind. She was everything you should have wanted, everything you tried to want. But every time you looked at her, you couldn’t stop yourself from comparing. The way her hand felt in yours, the way she kissed you, the way she held you. It was always a little different, always a little less than what you remembered.
You rounded a corner and found yourself in front of a familiar building. It was Yelena’s old apartment, the place where you had spent so many nights tangled in each other’s arms, lost in a world that belonged only to the two of you. The lights were off, the windows dark, but you couldn’t help the ache that settled in your chest at the sight of it.
———————————-
You hadn’t planned to see her again. You thought you could move one, that the pain would face with time. But the truth was, no matter how much time passed, no matter how many times you told yourself you were over her, Yelena was still there, lingering in the corners of your mind.
Your phone buzzed in your pocket, and you pulled it out to see a text from your girlfriend.
Are you okay?
You stared at the message for a long moment, your fingers hovering over the keyboard. You wanted to tell her that you were fine, that everything was okay. But the words felt hollow. She deserved more than this – more than the broken pieces of your heart that still belonged to someone else.
Instead of replying, you slipped the phone back into your pocket and leaned against the cold brick of the building. You closed your eyes, the memories washing over you in waves.
———————————-
You remembered the last time you saw Yelena. It had been a cold morning, the kind where the air stung your skin, and your breath hung in front of you like smoke. She had been quiet that day, more than usual. You’d tried to reach her, to get her to talk, but she had just shaken her head, her eyes distant.
When you woke up the next morning, she was gone. No note, no explanation. Just… gone.
You hadn’t heard from her since. Not a word.
———————————-
You didn’t know how long you stood there, lost in the memories, before the sound of footsteps approaching pulled you back to the present. You looked up, expecting to see a stranger passing by, but instead, your heart stopped.
Yelena stood in front of you, her green eyes locked on yours.
Neither of you spoke for a moment, the silence thick between you. She looked the same, yet different. There was something in her eyes that hadn’t been there before, something softer, more vulnerable.
“Yelena,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.
She didn’t say anything at first, just stared at you, as if she was trying to decide if you were real or just a figment of her imagination. Finally, she spoke.
“I didn’t think I’d see you here.”
You swallowed, the lump in your throat making it hard to breathe. “I didn’t think I’d see you either.”
For a long moment, neither of you spoke. The weight of everything unsaid hung between you, thick and suffocating. Finally, Yelena took a step closer, her eyes never leaving yours.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly, her voice breaking just a little.
Your heart ached at the sound of it, at the way her voice trembled. You wanted to be angry, wanted to scream at her for leaving you, for breaking your heart. But all you could feel was the overwhelming pull of her presence, the way she made everything else fade away.
“I tried to move on,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “But I can’t.”
Yelena’s eyes softened, and she took another step closer, until she was standing right in front of you. Her hand reached up, gently brushing a strand of hair behind your ear.
“I know,” she whispered. “Neither can I.”
For the first time in months, you let yourself feel the full weight of the love you still had for her. The love that had never really left, no matter how hard you’d tried to bury it. You leaned into her touch, your heart pounding in your chest.
“I’m so, so sorry,” she whispered again, her voice breaking. “I never should have left.”
You didn’t say anything, because words didn’t seem enough. Instead, you closed the distance between you, pressing your lips to hers in a kiss that was filled with all the things you couldn’t say.
And in that moment, with Yelena’s arms wrapped around you, you realized that no matter how hard you tried to move on, no one else would ever compare to her.
Because no matter where you went, no matter who you were with, all you ever saw was a glimpse of her.